Transitions

I've been thinking a lot about transitions in life. When I think about the past five years, I think transitions. That's what our life has been. A lot and a lot of transitions. Or at least, it certainly feels that way. 

Transitioning from college to a job. Transitions from living with your parents to living on your own to living with your husband to living with a kid. Transitions from your first job to a new job. And another job. And another job.... Transitions to new places to live, new communities, new people to meet. Transitioning from raising a baby to raising and parenting a toddler. 

This is what I feel the past five+ years have been for us. Transitions. Always waiting for what's next. Waiting on new opportunities. Waiting to see if this is a good fit. And then preparing for what's next. Preparing for the next opportunity.

And when I think about it this way, it actually exhausts me. It makes me tired. It makes me yearn for something permanent.  I want to find a job that I know I will be at for at least five years. I want to find a place where I know we plan on staying. I want to find a place that we stay long enough to really become a part of the community. To meet fellow parents. To develop close friendships. I want to find a place where we can buy a house. 

We still have wedding presents in their boxes because we haven't had the space for them. We have boxes at both parents' houses because we don't have the space or didn't want to keep moving them. We still have packed boxes in our apartment because we know it's not going to be long term. 

This is what I'm most tired of - the boxes. I hate that things are all over the place and not easily accessible. I want to be able to unpack every box and have a place for it. Or throw away the junk. I want a yard for Jacob to be able to run and play. I want a space for visitors to be able to stay. I want that permanent feeling. 

I believe there have been a couple times where things have started to feel more permanent to us, then life throws a curve ball and we have to adjust. And we've always managed to adjust well in time, but I want more stability. I know that life will always be throwing curve balls and we will constantly be adjusting to things. However, when I think about this, I think that if we have a house and a permanent place to call home, the other adjustments might not be as bad. So this is what I crave. 

And if I'm being completely honest, what I crave is a home in Minnesota. I want to be closer to family, closer to a place where I have more friends close by. I want a place that feels like we belong. I want a place to raise Jacob in a world that plays Duck Duck Grey Duck. ;-) And that place is Minnesota. 

But here's the funny thing. When I think about honestly moving to Minnesota, about the very real possibility that it could happen in the near future, I start to have anxiety. Anxiety about leaving Iowa, leaving this place I've called home for over 10 years. I believe that it will be hard to say goodbye. It feels different to be possibly leaving Iowa than it did to be leaving Minnesota when I left for college. Probably because at that point, I didn't know what would happen after college, there was always the possibility of returning to Minnesota. If we move to Minnesota now, that will most likely be it. So it's hard to think about having to say good-bye. But. We're not going anywhere yet. 

I do feel like we're in the middle of another transition though. With GE announcing the sale of GE Capital, my job could be eliminated or I could move to another company. So we sit and wait in this transition period again. Wondering what's next and where it will take us. I guess only time will tell. 

An Update - what? :)

Okay. I know, I know. I have been basically non-existent on this thing for a few months. I don't know where the time has gone honestly. It's not like things haven't happened, because they have. But time just slips away. 

And quite honestly, I don't even know how to begin to tell you everything that's taken place over the past few months. I guess we'll start at the basics. I'm no longer at P&K Midwest. It just wasn't working out and after a couple months of unemployment, I accepted a job at GE Capital working corporate collections. To be completely truthful, I wasn't that excited about the job. It was just a job and I needed a job. But even after just the first week, I knew this would be more than just a job. Not because of what I would be doing, I still wasn't too thrilled about that, but I was excited to be working at GE. I quickly learned how amazing of a company it was and to this day, that hasn't changed. They really know how to treat their employees and that is why I've loved my job so much. And not only that, but I'm quite good at this job. I'm enjoying having a job with set goals to work towards and meet. It's so different from any other job that I've had and I'm really enjoying it. I was really excited to explore my options with GE and see where it could take me. However, just a couple of weeks ago, we got news that GE was selling GE Capital. We have no word yet on if we'll still have a job or if we do, who it will be with and that's pretty hard. The reason I love my job is because it's GE. I really don't know that I want to continue to do this for another company. 

So as much as I hate looking and applying for jobs, I've started the process again, although not a whole lot yet as I still have a job I enjoy. However, the potential bright side to this is that I'm finally looking for jobs in Minnesota. It's no real secret that I've always wanted to get back to Minnesota and closer to my parents at some point but I really didn't think it would be anytime soon. So we'll have to see what happens! 

When we first moved down here, AJ wasn't finding a teaching job and so he took at job at Tipton Structural Fabrication at their Cedar Rapids location as a CNC operator. He thrived at this job, picking up an entirely new career and just running with it. He learned everything so quickly, he even got promoted to an office position within a year of starting! He's such a hard working and really enjoying this new work too. 

It's funny how we're both in such different careers than we ever imagined we'd be, but also really enjoying it. Life is funny that way, I guess.

And Jacob. Oh, Jacob. This little boy keeps us busy. Keeps us on our toes. Keeps us tired. :) He is a boy always on the move, full on constant energy. He loves being outdoors, swinging or watching trucks go by. He loves to jump on the bed or rough-house on the couch. He's still a big Mickey Mouse fan but he's also a big fan of Big Block Sing Songs on Disney Jr. He also still loves to read books! And he's still a big talker. Always talking up a storm. While we know he's trying to talk more and we can understand some words, they're not always clear. We'll have to see if speech therapy is something in his future. 

Every day is an adventure with Jacob. He's at such a fun (and exhausting!) age right now! Every day I am amazed at something new he learns and I love watching him discover something new. His personality is coming through more and more and I hate to say, that he's gotten some stubbornness... but definitely not from me. Just his dad. ;-) He also still does his little "Jacob jig" which I can never get enough of! And that hair is finally starting to come in!

I feel like when I would think about doing a blog update, I would have so many more details to talk about. But now that I'm actually writing it, no details come. 

I will say that the past few months have been a challenge and an adventure. Life continues to throw curve balls and we continue to adjust to change. Just when we think we have Jacob figured out, something changes and it's like we're learning to be a parent all over again. It doesn't get easier. But now that Jacob has finally figured out how to call me "mama" or "Michael", it warms my heart to hear him say it every time. Or when I ask for a hug or a kiss and he comes straight to my arms. It is a feeling like none other in the world. 

I'll try to start blogging again on a more regular basis, so I can add in some more details on our life. We hope all is well with you.