Step Four

I went back to Al-Anon tonight (Friday) after missing a couple of weeks. And as is normal when I go to Al-Anon, I hear exactly what I need to hear. At this particular meeting, we read from each book the day’s reading and then anyone can share.

After the readings and a few others shared, I decided to share. And it was while I was talking that I had this realization. The past two weeks that I missed were Good Friday and then my Grandpa’s burial in the Cities. In the past two weeks, I’ve been struggling with how to process my feelings, my thoughts about everything, everything going on. I recently shared that I need to do better with my self-care, my self-love. The thing that was missing during those two weeks? Going to Al-Anon. Doing the daily readings. Working the program myself. Relying on my higher power as I understand him.

It was crazy the feeling of calm I felt sitting back in that room tonight for the meeting. I realized that there were many times in the past two weeks that I’ve looked at the books on my nightstand and tell myself I should read today’s readings, but never get to it. I realized tonight that a big part of my new self-care needs to include Al-Anon and the program.

Maybe you’re familiar with the 12 Steps of AA and Al-Anon and maybe you’re not, but let me share them here with you.

Twelve Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

© Al-Anon's Twelve Steps, copyright 1996 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.

Through the program, in Al-Anon specifically speaking, I work through these steps myself. I admit I’m powerless. I admit that I have wrongdoings. I admit that I have shortcomings. I ask God for His help for me. I pray for the power of understanding of His will for me.

Did you catch the common factor here?

Me. I.

And this is where I currently am. Recognizing that part of my self-care is really digging deep to determine who I am as a person. I am not responsible for anyone else’s actions. I am not responsible for anyone else’s choices. I am not in charge of anyone else. (Jacob – for the time being -  excluded from this ☺️) I must be me. 

Looking back at the First Step, it took coming to Al-Anon to really admit this. I always knew it but didn’t want to admit it and therefore didn’t believe it. Coming to Al-Anon, doing the readings, talking with others, it became easier to accept. I still have to constantly remind myself of this. But I accept it.

Steps Two and Three were easy for me. I’ve always had a great relationship with God and have been working on a closer relationship recently through Bible journaling. These two steps were easy to accept.

Step Four. Oh step four. This is where I’m stuck. This is where my fear is holding me back.

“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

I am afraid. I am afraid to dig deep. I am afraid of what I’ll find. I’m afraid to see who I am individually. I’m afraid to find my faults, my wrongs, my shortcomings.

I’ve stayed on this step for a while. I haven’t even tried. But I realized if I’m serious about 2017 being the Year of ME, then I need to complete Step Four.

Maybe if I’m really brave enough, I’ll share this journey with you at some point. But for now, I’m going to work on Step Four. I’m going to do the daily readings. I’m going to keep going to meetings. And I’m going to keep looking at the list I made the other day with my other self-care needs.

“It may not be the answer I want, but I have to remember that it may be what I need.” 

Self-Care

I recently made myself go back and re-read my blog post from right after the new year. The post where I declared 2017 as the "Year of ME". Maybe I should set myself a calendar reminder to read it each week. 

Recently, I've been struggling with the idea of self-care. I had an amazing conversation with a beautiful and strong cousin of mine who made a point to call me out on this. She said "2017 is the year of Liz - make sure you're doing that!" And it made me step back and take a look at the past few months and ask myself: Have I been doing all that I hoped to do? All that I want to do? All that I need to do? 

Just a few days later, my mom and I were talking about how we each lack in self-care but need to prioritize it. (At least I now know where I get it from...hehe) I mentioned that I don't know what simple things I can be doing to help improve my self-care. Like yes, taking a relaxing bubble bath is nice but doesn't necessarily stop me from continuing to think about everything else going on. I don't know what my self-care practices should be. My mom - ever so wise - countered my thoughts and said "maybe your self-care needs to look bigger". Her examples? Continuing to pay off my debt, look into getting a "new" car, continuing to protect myself and Jacob financially, determining what my new relationship with Austin is... 

The very next day, I was once again amazed with God's timing. The weekly messaging for Weight Watchers was literally about self-care. The cover - "Take good care of yourself". And while yes, this message was geared towards losing weight, I picked up the overall message. 

Liz, get your self-care in order. 

So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to write out what I want my self-care to look like. I'm going to write down the things I'm committing to do for a better me. While I have a general idea in my head, writing them down always make it seem more real. Honestly, I should write them down here for you all to see, but I'm still scared of doing that. Maybe someday. But if you're willing to help me - call me out. Ask me about my self care. Ask me how my list is looking. Am I accomplishing what I want? Am I sticking with my self-care? 

And since part of my "year of ME" is to try and be a better friend - let me ask you! What are you doing for self-care? Is there anything that I can help you with? Please, let me know. I'm here. 


**Edit: True to my word, I went to go write my list and look what I found! Apparently I had already started a list of what I've accomplished so far in 2017! I should post this somewhere I can see it every day. Also, that blurred out picture (because I'm not ready to share yet!), that's my list for self-care. Something else I need to make sure I see every day. 

Stand in the Rain

The past week.... has sucked. I feel run-down. I feel defeated. I feel low. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. 

At the beginning of last week, I was in South Dakota, visiting Austin at Keystone as part of the family program. While Austin has been working the program and putting a lot of effort into this recovery, it was still a hard day. A lot of information to process. A lot of stories to hear from other families. A lot of your own personal feelings to process. 

I feel hopeful for Austin's recovery at this point but was also reminded about how fragile it is and how easily it could still slip away. I feel grateful that Austin's addiction wasn't to anything harder or his journey more difficult, but still must remember that he is just as sick. I feel unsettled at the thought of how to put our lives back together with Austin sober. I feel hopeless when wondering how to start the process of trusting Austin again. 

The family program was two days but I could only stay on Monday. After 12 hours at Keystone, I made it home shortly before midnight. Tuesday morning I was at the justice center, in front of a judge, explaining why my marriage was not repairable. 

Ironically, after spending the day with Austin at Keystone and seeing him take responsibility for his addiction and sobriety, I started to feel hopeful about our future together. Maybe this could work. I no longer felt that we were at our lowest point. So while I had that hope in my heart, I still logically knew the divorce needed to happen. The biggest reasons being Jacob and financial security. 

The judge said he's sign off on the papers later that day. We were officially divorced. 

On Wednesday morning, I got a message from my dad around 9:00am, my Grandpa R. had passed away. He had been on hospice care since February so while the death was not a big surprise, it was a loss all the same. Luckily, I had been up to see him just a week before but was really hoping to make it up there once more before he passed. But Grandpa was ready to go. And the one thought that keeps running though my head is how happy he must be to be with Grandma again. 

On top of all that, it was of course Holy Week which meant that with a Mom as a pastor and as a member of the church choir, it was a busy second half of the week. Austin also completed treatment at Keystone and moved back to Mankato to the House of Hope, a halfway house where he'll live and continue outpatient treatment. 

Every day feels like I'm just going through the motions. Doing what I need to do to get by, but not much more. With still so much going on at work and taking care of Jacob, I feel like I can't afford to "waste time" mourning the loss of my marriage, wondering about the future with Austin or even properly grieving for my Grandpa. Everything happened so quickly together that I haven't had time or I haven't let myself process all those feelings I know are inside somewhere. Honestly, I'm not even sure how to process these feelings. 

Last Wednesday, as I drove to church for choir practice, it was raining and the song "Stand in the Rain" by SuperChick came across my playlist. You know when you find that song that perfectly describes your current life or a current moment in life, this was that for me. I listened to it on repeat the whole way to church and I think the whole way home. 

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

Messes

Do you ever feel like your life is just one big mess? That is the current state of my life right now. Or at least, it feels that way.

When I say mess, I don’t just mean in terms of relationships, situations, etc. Although that is certainly true. But there are literally messes everywhere. Boxes and tubs in the garage that need to be sorted and stored. Old clothing and toys set aside to be sold or donated. Piles of mail hiding under some open boxes of Peeps. Toys all over the living room that a three year old refuses to pick up. Pieces of cut up string on the floor from that same three year old.

These messes certainly don’t help with my mental state. But I feel like I just have no time. Every day is busy. Work, ECFE classes, visiting grandparents, church and choir practice, visiting AJ in South Dakota. It feels nonstop. (Just for the record, none of these things feel a burden or something I don’t want to do, it just becomes a lot) AJ mentioned on the phone tonight that I sounded sad every time we talk. I don’t know about sad as much as exhausted.

Acting as a single mom is tough. But then I look at my life and I think – but I’m not really a single mom. I live with my parents. They are amazing grandparents and help out probably way more than they should. Plus, I only have one kid. Other moms who really are single and doing this all alone have more than one kid and they manage. So who am I to complain, right? And then, if we’re going to be real honest, I get jealous of those other moms because I never wanted just one kid. But then my mind is back to who am I kidding, I can barely handle the one.

Oh Jacob. This kid. He is truly the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. He is the sweetest, kindest, cutest, funniest, cleverest kid. He can be the biggest handful one minute and the next, the biggest cuddle bug! Let’s continue with our recent  bedtime struggles. Tonight was the same “Cuddle mommy little bit”. Crying those big crocodile tears. Breaking my heart. Finally, after giving in, I went into Jacob’s bedroom and told him we could cuddle (in mommy’s bed) for five minutes. After some time – more than five minutes – this was our conversation:

“Jacob, are you ready to go to your bed yet?”
“Not yet”
“Okay, one more minute”
*Jacob counting on his fingers silently* “How about four minutes?”
*Admiring his smooth negotiation skills… “Three more minutes”
“Okay!”

And the mom guilt. Oh the mom guilt. I feel so selfish for just wanting some time to myself to look through my phone and stretch out on my bed. Especially after basically ignoring him all evening – many evenings – while getting things done. And then I think about how Jacob’s life might not make much sense to him right now. His daddy isn’t around, he can’t go to Daddy’s apartment, we have to drive hours to visit him… and the guilt kicks in again. I think about how he won’t want to cuddle forever so what’s a few nights now? And the kid knows how to work the system. At just the right time he’ll say “we need to hug again” and when I ask why he says “because I love you”. Ugh. Seriously. :) 

Even work feels like a mess right now. Piles of paper everywhere. Tasks that need to be done as soon as possible. Event details that need to be completed. Organizing old files and updating new ones. I could go on. Normally when my life feels messy, it’s normally either work or personal. Not both at the same time.

But both it is. Too much to do. Not enough time. Mess. Chaos. Flustered.

If I’m being completely honest, there have been little victories and good things that have happened recently. But I have a hard time focusing on those. Why is that? Why do we always focus on the bad? Why is that easier?

Looking back and reading over this post, it doesn’t sound like I have that much going on. I feel like I can’t even explain to you why my life feels like such a mess. Reading this, I feel like “eh, that’s not much, you should be fine”. But instead, I still feel stuck in this mess. Am I exaggerating these messes to myself? Or am I now fully allowing myself to dig deep and determine what all these messes are?

Or maybe I'm making more of a mess for myself. When Jacob I switched bedrooms, I went through all the boxes we had in his room. Got rid of a lot of stuff, condensed boxes and was feeling really good. But now that I have additional boxes to go through, I feel like I need to get shelves so that the boxes aren't just stacked on one another. And I should really go through the boxes I have that have some high school stuff in them... it seems daunting and never-ending. 

Life is messy. And as I write this, listening to my toddler screaming from his room, wanting to cuddle, I feel resigned. Defeated. Tired. But Jacob cuddles are normally good at helping with those feelings. :) 

The struggles of addiction in the family.

I'm struggling. 

I feel like I'm floating in this empty space between "I don't know" and "I can't". 

Life has been hard recently. Signed divorced papers. Visiting ailing grandparents. Living with a growing and stubborn three year old. A lot going on at work. And sending someone I love and care about to treatment. 

How often do you feel like giving up? And what does it mean to you when you say that - "I want to just give up". 

Jacob, bless his adorable little heart, has been going through a phase where he wants to "cuddle mommy for little bit" before bed. Often times it ends up as "sleeping in mommy's bed". Which means less sleep for me. Then there was one morning - after a late night of crying - a fit was thrown and I think I spent a good 20 minutes wrestling a crying and flailing little boy into his clothes. I wanted to give up that day. 

At work, we recently finished our big fundraiser and immediately jumped into our next and new fundraiser. There's been a ton of work with follow up for both events. Some days I feel like I'm completely new at this job again and unsure that my talents are skills are good enough to complete what needs to be finished. It's those days that I want to give up. 

When I say I want to give up, I mostly mean I want to go back to bed and sleep the rest of the day. Or I want to just get away for a small vacation and forget the realities of every day life. Something that sounds great, but not easily done.

Austin has said a couple times recently that he just wants to get to treatment. That things seem to be spinning out of control - out of his control. Maybe he was struggling with giving up or giving in. And then he called me last week and said he'd be starting treatment in a week. 

Something felt different about treatment this time. I can't tell you what though. Maybe it was because Austin did the work of starting the process himself. I can tell you that I couldn't wait for him to start treatment. I kept thinking that once he's in treatment, I'll know where he is. I'll know he'll be safe. But this past week leading up to treatment has not been an easy one. 

It was filled with realizations that probably scared Austin, knowing that his life was at a crossroads, no longer able to continue the way it was. Those scared feelings caused fights and arguments that were not really about whatever it was we were fighting about. It was filled with avoidance and not much communication. It was filled with a lot of "just want to give up" feelings. 

I really can't explain the toll that addiction takes on your family. You just can't understand unless you've experienced yourself. And that's something I wouldn't wish on anyone. 

Austin's parents, Jacob and myself drove Austin to treatment. Jacob and I didn't get to see Austin off the last time he tried treatment. It was nice to have the opportunity to do that this time. I also realized that as we dropped Austin off, it was probably the last time I'd see him as my husband. And that was confirmed to me this morning as I received an email with a court hearing date. When he leaves treatment, we will officially be divorced. This was weighing on me. As we left, I didn't feel that relief that I was hoping for, that I was counting on. Instead there was only extreme sadness and nervousness. 

When I got home and explained these feelings to my mom, she said I haven't let go. And I thought "Of course not!" 

How do you let go of someone you thought you'd be spending the rest of your life with? How do you let go of the father of your child? How do you let go of someone who you love and only want the best for? How do you let go of someone when they have no one else around? 

And this is where the problem lies. 

I've always been the type of person who cares too much. Maybe that's not the right way to put this. I'm the type of person who would do whatever I could to protect those I love from any harm. I don't want those I love to have to experience any kind pain or sadness. I would gladly take it all on myself so that those I love would know no such thing. I was protective of my sister and brother growing up. My heart aches for others when I know they're in pain. My heart aches even when I hear stories of those I don't know who are sad or in pain.

I'm a problem solver. If there's a problem, I want to fix it. I want to work until we have a solution to fix the problem. Especially if that problem causes hurt or sadness. I want to take away your pain. I want to fix whatever it is that needs fixing so that you can be happy. I want to put you first. 

I vowed that this year would be the year of me. The year I put Jacob and myself first. But I'm really struggling with that. 

Right now I'm worried about Austin. I'm worried about if he's going to make it through treatment. I'm worried about what he means when he says "I want to give up". I'm worried about the life he'll have upon leaving treatment. I'm worried that treatment won't help. 

And I know - I know, logically, that none of that is up to me. It is all up to Austin - his decisions, his actions. And I know I should be focusing on myself and on Jacob. But how do you do that? How do you just stop worrying? 

I apologize that this post has no flow and probably doesn't make any sense. But that's also the way life feels lately. I am working on putting Jacob and myself first. I'm trying to focus on the now, trying to really treasure my time with Jacob. I'm trying to spend more time reading with him or playing with him. (This is also probably the reason I don't fight the "cuddle mommy a little bit" as much as I should) I'm going to keep going to Al-Anon meetings. I'm going to keep trying to find time to sit down with God every day and do my bible journaling. I'm going to try to do more things that make me happy.  

But at the same time, at least for a little while longer, I'm struggling. Struggling with the consequences of Austin's actions before he left for treatment. Struggling with essentially acting as a single parent while Austin's in treatment. Struggling to find the balance between worrying about a loved one and worrying about my own happiness. I'm mourning. Mourning the end of my marriage. Mourning for the life I wanted. 

And still, here I am, floating. Floating inside this addiction-created bubble. Feeling lonely and sad. 

Here's to figuring out how to pop that bubble and let go and let God. 

The end of winter

One thing I hope to do better at this year is keeping up with my blogging. Even if it's just monthly recaps about our daily lives. I really enjoy being able to go back and have these to help remember what's going on. 

February has come and gone and so has March pretty much. :) 

Jacob really enjoyed his big boy swimming lessons (no parents in the pool). Surprisingly, he did much better listening to the teachers than he did when we were in the pool with him. :) Ha! You can really see how he's getting more and more comfortable in the water. He's picking up on the kicking and scooping and with the help of his frog floatie, he can really move himself around the pool. He even went down the big slide at the Rec Center a couple of times! Although, one time he might have gone more under water than he was used to and that spooked him a bit! But he graduating level 3 swimming and can move on to level 4! 

Jacob also enjoyed his ECFE classes. Generally, he zones in on one particular toy (a truck or tractor) and won't do much exploring with all the other activities they have. But he started to expand on that this session. He really enjoyed the sensory bin, playing with play-doh and even some imaginative play in the kitchen! He really was quite adorable, telling us the pan was too hot and not to touch! :) He also did incredibly well when it came to circle time and singing along with the songs. Hearing him sing the "Hello" song - adorable. 

Overall, Jacob has really started to do more singing which of course just warms our hearts! It's so fun to listen to him singing songs he makes up and songs that we've been singing to him. He is still a huge fan of Big Block Singsong but he also is really into Veggie Tales songs as well. And of course, many of the favorite nursery rhymes! He's still very much into dinosaurs and DinoTrux! And he has had a renewed love of reading! He is really enjoying the Pigeon books right now and we read them so much, he can pretty much read all of them back to us! It's pretty adorable when he just randomly starts quoting a book! We're really looking forward to the warmer weather to get back outside more often! 

Jacob also got to spend a weekend in Iowa at the "Zuba farm" with his grandparents and cousin Evie. He was seriously counting down the days until he could go and once we picked him up, he talked for days about how much fun he had! :) And of course, he's already asking when he can go back! 

I also have to take a moment to talk about this sweet kid Jacob. Even though he's only three and a half, the kid has a huge heart. He is the sweetest, most kind boy. And it melts my heart. Randomly he will come up to me and say "hug?" and then give me a great big hug and say "I love you so much". I don't know if he can sense when I need those hugs or just really is the sweetest boy, but it stops me in my tracks every time and I am reminded about how blessed I am to be this little boy's mother. Before swimming the other day, we were waiting for class to start and he just random says "I love you mommy. And I love my daddy!" Or when he slept all night in his own bed the other night and was telling him how proud I was of him the next morning and I said, "Give me a high five!" Jacob looked at me, thinking and said, "Or I give you a hug!" :) This weekend, he told Nana he needed to come give me a hug so that I feel better. And one day at daycare, he started crying for no reason and when Amber finally got an answer out of Jacob he said, "I miss my mommy". He still runs to me even if we've only been a part a little while, arms open and when I pick him up, he buries himself into a big hug. His little heart is so full of love. And I am so full of love for him. 

For me, February was a little crazy. We had our fifth annual Pedal Past Poverty event at work on the 25th. And while this day and the prep before hand are crazy enough of themselves, we also had to deal with a "incoming blizzard" that make things even more hectic. We managed to get everything to the Y on Thursday night before the snow and got everything set up by Friday afternoon. By Saturday, the weather was cold - but otherwise perfect for the event. We had a successful event and raised just over $92K! I am constantly amazed by this community and how caring and giving they are. 

I also did some more singing at church, singing with the praise band and agreeing to sing as one of the song leaders for the Holden Evening prayer for Lent. I even agreed to sing a solo at church the morning after Pedal Past Poverty. Probably not my best decision, but it went well. :) 

Jacob and I have successfully switched bedrooms and all the moving and organizing is pretty much done. Just a couple more pieces of furniture to remove. I also got a new mattress!! And I have to say, it is a huge improvement from the waterbed! :) It's pretty much my new favorite place! haha! 

Austin and I both signed our copies of the divorce papers as well. This was a hard day and made everything much more real. I am definitely mourning the lost of my marriage and I'm not sure how to handle that. 

We also visited my Grandpa R. who's been in need of some extra care. But he was in good spirits when we visited him! We've also been stopping in to see Great Grandma & Grandpa J. before school and after swimming. Jacob loves those visits because he almost always leaves with chocolate! :) 

March has been pretty low-key. We went out and celebrated Austin's birthday early with a dinner at Applebee's and a family fun night at the Wow Zone! Jacob was so cute, telling the waiter right away "it's my daddy's birthday" :) He also enjoyed sharing the cake and ice cream! At the Wow Zone, daddy and Jacob spent a good amount of time playing the Jurassic Park video game. And it was very fun to watch. Then we did a round of family bowling - Jacob's first time - and of course, Jacob won. :) 

I got to spend a day up at the Capital for Homeless Day on the Hill - raising awareness and advocating support to end homelessness in Mankato. It was my first time doing anything like that and while I didn't get to meet with as many representatives as I would have liked, it was still a really great day. I look forward to going back again next year. 

This past Thursday, we dropped Austin off at a treatment center in South Dakota. I won't write more about that here, I'm working on a separate blog post for that. 

I guess that about does it for us right now. Hopefully I'll be back again in another month. :) 

A month recap

First things first. I want to thank my amazing family and friends for all of your support and love following the last blog post. You all lifted me up, encouraged me and said things I needed to hear. I'm blessed to have each and every one of you in my life. Thank you. 

Second, I want to say again that I will continue to support Austin and his fight against addiction. He is still someone very special to me, someone I love, the father to our child, someone that I want the very best for. I hope that you'll join me in encouraging Austin in his fight for sobriety and show him the love and support he'll need in this battle. 

It's hard to believe the month of January is already gone. Overall, the month was pretty good. Work was super busy - we're hosting our Fifth Annual Pedal Past Poverty race on Saturday February 25 - feel free to look for ways to help! :) But preparations are in full swing.  

One not so great thing is I have a kidney stone. I've been dealing with it for nearly four weeks... I finally did a CT scan and the stone is 3mm. Meaning they can't do anything for me. :-/ So this has slowed me down quite a bit but working through each day. The one upside is that I'm drinking so much water, I have been able to completely cut out pop! 

On Saturday, January 21, I also proudly took part in the Women's March Minnesota in the Twin Cities. It was an inspiring day and amazing to know that I participated in something that will be a big part of history - nearly 90K people in Minnesota alone! I'm proud of the work the organizers for the March did and look forward to the continued work over the next four years. 

I'm going to take a quick pause here and say that I'm keeping this blog nonpolitical. Believe me, I have plenty of things to say regarding politics, but that place is not here. Instead, you can read those thoughts over at my other blog: PB&J. 

Back to the 21st... I have to admit that as much fun and for how amazing the day was, I really did myself in. That was the most activity I've done since getting kidney stones. And I did not drink nearly enough water. That night, I was in an incredible amount of pain. If you've never had kidney stones, it feels a lot like giving birth, but maybe worse. That Saturday night was definitely a long and terrible night. 

In continuing with the Year of Me... I've started to get my life more organized. Jacob and I have switched bedrooms and I'm working on making his room a place where he can really play and move the toys out of the living room. :) I'm going through boxes and getting rid of things we don't need and organizing what we do need. I'm getting a space set up to keep my bills, medical stuff, Jacob stuff, etc. organized. I've taken a look at my budget and made sure I'm making the most of each paycheck and getting more into savings. It's all a slow process, but I'm making some steps. 

We signed Jacob up for a few activities as well! He is officially in the "big boy" swimming lessons - where parents don't go in the pool with the kids! :) This is much easier for mom and dad and so fun to watch Jacob interact and learn on his own with just the teachers' help. We're also doing ECFE class again. It is amazing how much Jacob loves school. I really hope this continues! :) And in another big step, we submitted his application for preschool next year. I'm still not sure I'm ready for that, but Jacob certainly is! He's already excited and looking forward to it! 

I think that just about wraps it up for us. Let's see if I can continuing with my blogging this year. :)