Tax Refunds

Well... it's 12:21am and of course my brain is running with thoughts and so I must jump out of bed to write them down before I forget them... Funny how that always seems to happen even though I'm so comfy in bed! I was going to start this blog by apologizing for yet another long absence... but I guess it really hasn't been that long since my last blog... but I'm not even sure who - if anyone reads this - but I do like it for my mindless ramblings. :)

So AJ and I decided to try filing our taxes this evening - we had finally gotten all of our paperwork in the mail and we were looking forward to some extra money to help pay off some bills and whatnot. Well as these things tend to go, we end up getting frustrated with the tax system and the filing system and not understanding anything of what we're doing. Sound familiar? And in the end, we have a significantly smaller federal refund than the previous year and we have to pay Iowa more than what we had to the previous year.

Not a great outcome for people who hate dealing with finances. haha But, as we were told, it could be much worse. We could be paying both federal and state and I could still be without a job. But none of that is where my thoughts lead me to tonight.

I started to wonder... is it possible for your tax refunds (or lack of refunds) to reflect not only the past financial year, but the year overall? Is there a connection to the events in your life and the amount of money the government owes you - or you owe the government? I know, I know... you're thinking - "Ha! Liz - of course not! That's just silly!" But just amuse me for a minute...

Last year when we filed our taxes for 2009, we had a great federal refund. Awesome. And looking back over 2009, it was a great year! Awesome! AJ and I moved in together. We got married. AJ graduated. We vacationed in Jamaica. Awesome.

This year, when filing taxes for 2010, we have not much of a federal refund and a crappy situation of owing Iowa money. Boo. Looking back over 2010, AJ and I had to spend some time apart. We dealt with a lot of personal events. I was unemployed for a while. Boo.

Okay, okay - so 2010 really wasn't all bad - I mean AJ did start his amazing teaching job/career. And I'm sure 2009 wasn't all good either - there always has to be those ups and downs. Maybe the refund just reflects how the last couple months of the year goes... haha

Anyway... those were the thoughts tonight keeping me up. In general, life has been good. Last weekend we decided to head back to Tipton to see the family and we picked up Matt and Amber in Des Moines on our way. It was great to be back with the Zaruba's again! It had been since Thanksgiving since we had seen them all! And it was a great weekend full of sledding, video games and laughs! This past week has also been good - although AJ and I did both come down with some 24 hour bug that kept us each away from work on a couple of days, but overall it was good. My second week at UNO has started to pick up and hopefully I'm learning the ropes. Soon it will take off and I'll be so busy I won't know what to do with myself! :)

This weekend, AJ and I are planning on relaxing and just enjoying each other's company (as long as we keep the taxes off our minds... ;-) haha). This is one thing we never get tired of doing - the keeping each other company - not the taxes. Just being able to sit on the couch watching TV or playing LittleBig Planet and having that special someone next to you... just that simple act can make you feel so giddy with joy. Or the goofy lame jokes we tell each other that make us laugh so much we cry. Or just being able to reach across, touch their arm and know that no matter what, they will love you and be with you. Those are the things I love about our laid back weekends.

So as you get ready to file your taxes this year... think about the past year. Or at least the past couple of months. Were they good? Were they average? Were they just flat out terrible? When you find your answer, you might just find your tax refund. ;-)

A week off and a new job!

The past two weeks have come and gone in a blur for AJ and I! But I definitely not complaining in any sort of way. Life has really picked up a lot and I think AJ and I are both enjoying this new ride!

The weekend after I accepted the position at UNO, AJ and I pretty much did nothing all weekend. And it was great! :) We were able to just spend some quality time together, watching movies, playing video games and just hanging out.

Last week was my last week of unemployment and it was very relaxing! It was nice to be able to have a week off not having to worry about finding a job still! Knowing that I had one and would be starting soon made it seem much more like a vacation! I was even lucky enough to be able to spend some of those days with AJ! We decided that God thought it was time to "give us a break" or something. AJ had his first snow days - yes, days! - of the year that week! He was home with me on Monday, Tuesday and a two-hour late start on Wednesday! That was definitely an added bonus for my last week off. :)

Last weekend, my sister Megan drove down from Minnesota to spend some time with us! We had a great weekend! We had a pizza and movie night on Friday just like we use to do when we were kids! On Saturday we drove into Omaha and went to the Durham Museum where they were having a special exhibit for the bicentennial of Abraham Lincoln's birth! It was an exhibit from the Library of Congress that was only going to be featured in five cities across the US! It was very cool - we saw some new artifacts, letters and the coolest item (in my opinion) was that they had the Bible that Lincoln used when he was sworn into presidency AND it was the same Bible that President Obama used when he was sworn in! How cool is that?! After the exhibit we ate at Spaghetti Works and did some shopping. We enjoyed another relaxing evening of movies. Sunday we took Meg to church and then out for brunch at the Village Inn. All in all, I would say a very successful weekend!

Monday was MLK Day so the campus of UNO was closed so I was able to have one last day off. AJ didn't have school, but he did have a professional development day so he unfortunately was not able to enjoy it with me. And on Tuesday, I had my first day at UNO. I could tell even after the first day that I was really going to enjoy this job and the people I work with!

This past week has been somewhat slow because it's taking a while to get all the paperwork processed and an email address but things are starting to fall into place. It's also been a fairly quiet week because prospective student visits don't start until next week. But I'm really okay with all of this because it's giving me time to study up on UNO and learn everything I need to know - or at least as much as I can! And my calendar is already full of a number of college fairs I'll be going to and soon I'll be adding some high school visits as well. March is definitely going to be one of my busiest months! But I'm excited for it all to start!

So overall, a very good past two weeks! AJ and I are getting use to this new routine - I'm actually up and out of bed before he is now! And he's told me it's going to take him a while to get use to coming home to an empty house now. But I'm loving being out of the house again and actually having something to do. So, things are great and we're excited to see where life is going to lead us next!

A New Year with a fresh start

Happy New Year everyone! I realize I've been slacking quite a bit when it comes to our blog, but I'll do my best to get back into the routine of writing. It's been a long time since my last blog - last year actually! And so there's a lot to catch up on!

AJ's last day of school before break was Dec. 22nd and the next day we headed up to Minnesota to spend the holiday with my side of the family. We spend Christmas Eve up in the cities with my dad's side of the family and exchanged gifts that started with the first letter of our middle names. Always a fun time with that side of the family and this year was no different! Although we were all entertained by my cousin's daughter Lilly who was just too cute and very helpful in opening all of our presents! :)

Christmas day was spent with just my immediate family since everyone else on my mom's side were off celebrating Christmas either in Ohio or Arizona. So we had a very relaxing day filled with gifts, hot chocolate, falling snow, Christmas movies and snacking all day long. It was perfect. My mom even managed to find the Muppet Family Christmas video - which is a classic and very hard to find! We all enjoyed watching it again, but agreed it wasn't quite the same without the old school TV commercials like our VHS recording once had! :)

On Sunday, my parents left for a Caribbean cruise and left the house to us kids. AJ and I spent our week up in Minnesota hanging out with a lot of my high school friends and spending a lot of quality time with my siblings. I honestly can't remember the last time the four of us were able to spend so much time together and have so much fun!! It was very nice that Minnesota had so much snow as well because that just added to our fun! We were able to build snowmen, build a tunnel and even go sledding! We also managed to get our car stuck in the driveway but luckily we got unstuck.

After an epic week in Minnesota, we headed back down to Council Bluffs where we were met with 60 degree weather! It was quite the change and a very welcomed one at that! For New Year's AJ's sister Amber and her husband Matt drove out to see us and spend the night in Omaha. We had gotten hotel rooms in downtown so that we wouldn't be out on the roads. We spend the day/night eating a lot of fun, playing some fun games at Dave & Buster's and bar hopping in the Old Market. We tried to stay inside as much as possible because it was freezing outside! But all in all, it was a very successful New Year's! We were even lucky enough to meet up with my cousin Courtney and her fiance Matt as they were in Omaha for a wedding that Saturday!

So that was our holiday and a great start to the New Year! And fortunately, things just keep getting better for us!

I had a phone interview the Thursday morning before AJ and I drove up to Minnesota right before Christmas with the University of Nebraska Omaha for an Admissions Counselor position. While we were driving up to Minnesota that same day, I got a call back from UNO asking me to come in to do another interview! So this past Tuesday I was on campus for my interview which included doing a 15 minute presentation on the college. After I left, I was feeling pretty good about how things went and was hoping to hear back from them within the next week. Well yesterday, Thursday, I got a call back from UNO asking if I could come in that day to meet with their Associate Vice Chancellor who oversees all Admissions. So yesterday afternoon I was back on campus and while I only thought I'd be there for about a half hour, I was actually there about two hours having some great conversations about this position and what they're hoping to see happen within the next year. Again, I left feeling really good about things.

Then this morning, I got another phone call from UNO offering me the position! I was ecstatic and accepted pretty much right away! :) I start on Monday, Jan. 18th and I couldn't be more happy and excited about this possibility. I will be focusing on two programs at UNO one of which is offered to some western Iowa counties and the other  will involve some travel the Twin Cities and the Kansas City area. This is obviously a lot different from what I was doing at Kruger, but I believe that I'm going to be able to bring a lot of my experience from Kruger into my new position at UNO. I'm also just super excited to be back in higher education admissions. Back in college, I worked as a student work study in the Admissions office and did Student Ambassadors. Both of those experiences taught me that this was something I could really do with my life. Now I have that opportunity. I'm excited to start working with students and helping them make some big life changing decisions! This is a new chapter for me and I can't wait to start!

Looking back, I wasn't unemployed for that long of time, but I can mostly say that now knowing I have a job! :) In the past month or so, I was taught a lot about patience - as was AJ I'm sure! We were so ready for something to fall in place, we just had to wait for the right timing - God's timing. AJ and I are finally going to be able to get back into a great routine of things and I know we're both way excited to have dual incomes again! :)

So, for this Zaruba clan, the first week of 2011 is off to a fantastic start! And I know that the next 51 weeks are going to be just as great, if not better!

I hope God blessed each one of you with a great start to the new year and also an awesome rest of the year! We look forward to seeing what will happen in our lives and in yours. :)

A routine

*Just a note: I wrote this blog up a while ago but forgot to post it... so I figured I'd do it now before I get another one written.

Dec. 22nd, 2010

Things are starting to become 'normal' for us again. I say 'normal' because really, what is 'normal'? But we're falling back into a routine again as husband and wife. It's strange, having to figure out how to co-exist with someone again. AJ, I know, much prefers his old bachelor pad rather than my constant nagging. :) 

It's not the same routine we once had as husband and wife. There was actually only a short period of time that we were both working full time jobs and living together and that was last spring. So I guess the whole only having one income thing isn't that difficult... it's just strange because it's flipped now. AJ is the one working and I'm the one staying home. But the important thing is that we're together again. And that is how it is supposed to be. 

I've started to notice the little changes that tell me we're getting back into the swing of things. The fact that we've had a couple weekends now where we didn't have to drive 4 hours to see the other person, or go anywhere for that matter. We were able to fully enjoy the entire weekend just with ourselves. It was during that time, as we cuddled on the mattress we pulled out into the living room, with the fireplace on, watching Christmas movies, that some of our normalcy started to return. Being able to relax and act like our goofy selves that no one else would ever understand. Being able to spend the day doing nothing at all, but knowing we wouldn't want to be anywhere else. 
Or when we can spend an entire car ride listening to choral music and getting goose-bumps from the chords like a bunch of nerds and then suddenly switch over to rock out to Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA.  Or when AJ starts acting like his crazy silly goofy self that I can't even begin to describe with words because it's just so Austin. :)

These are good feelings to have. They tell me things are starting to look up. They tell me things are starting to improve. Starting to get better. Not that things were ever that bad, but I've definitely learned a few things about life in the past couple of months. 

It will be okay

I read a quote once: "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end." Everyone keeps telling us: "It will be okay, things will work out." 

It's easy to read these quotes.  It's easy to tell them to someone else when they're having a hard time. But they're not easy to remember, especially in times when nothing seems okay. So, that might be a little dramatic. Things are 'Okay' - whatever that word really means anyway. We still have each other. We're together. We have our health [or most of it ;-)!]. We have family and friends, many of whom we'll be able to spend the holidays with. Things are 'Okay'. 

But when do they get better? When do they become great? When do things go back to the way it once was? Do they ever go back there? When do we have to stop worrying about paying bills? When do we get to end unemployment? When do we go back to enjoying the simple things in life rather than worrying about all the things I wish we didn't have to worry about? 

I try. I try to be happy, I try to stay positive. I know that AJ and I are blessed much more than so many other people. And I am truly grateful for that. But it's still hard. Unemployment is taking it's toll. Hearing defeat, hearing rejections, or even hearing nothing at all is wearing on me. And how can I even complain? I left my job willingly. After sitting in a recent group interview and hearing that about half that room had lost their jobs and that they had no control over that? I can't imagine. 

I think back to last spring, when AJ first had his interview with Riverside. I remember the call asking if he wanted to job. I remember that next week, praying over the right decision. I remember being confident that saying yes to that job and moving to Western Iowa was the right decision for AJ and I. That is was what God was telling us to do. Then I remember trying to find a job. I remember opportunities that came and went just as quickly. Before long, our time was up and we decided we would have to be apart a while. But with new possible opportunities at work, again I felt confident that this is what God was telling us to do. I remember the time apart. The nightly phone calls, the four hour drive to see each other each weekend, the incredibly hard time saying good bye each Sunday. I remember things not getting any easier. I remember thinking new possibilities at work might not come through. I remember trying to look for jobs again. 

Then I remember the events that changed everything. I remember knowing that I could no longer be four hours away from my husband. I remember knowing it was time to make a decision. I remember making the decision of putting my marriage, my husband, above everything else and sacrificing my job. I remember giving my two weeks notice and I remember my last day at Kruger. 

I remember it all. I remember it very clearly. I remember because I never expected my life, our lives, to take this course. I never expected these... 'bumps' and 'potholes' in the road. But then again, who does? I remember it all. What I'm struggling with now is why. Why did it all happen? Why did things run the course they did? Why am I still not employed, why do we have to worry about the bills? Why are things not better yet? I'm struggling to see how this part fits into God's plan. I'm struggling not to second guess things. Was AJ accepting this job offer the right move? Was my leaving Kruger the right thing to do? Or was it all for nothing? This is where I'm struggling. This is where I'm searching to understand. I have to believe that this is where God wants us, that this is where His road has taken us. I have to believe that. But I'm realizing that believe that is testing my faith. It's hard to let go of all my thoughts and fears and just have faith. To trust God. I struggle with it everyday. 

But now I've laid it all out there. God, you know the struggles on my heart. You know my fears and my worries. I pray to you that you can help me find comfort. Peace. Patience. Faith. I pray that we're following your plan, your road. I pray that we're on the right track and that if we're just patient, you will provide. I pray that you're there with us every step of the way. I pray that you give us guidance and strength to get through these tough spots and I pray you give us the understanding that when it is time, and at the end, it will be okay. It will be great. Amen.

Christmas trees

I'm long overdue for an update. I know this. And I don't even have a good excuse on why I haven't written one. I mean really, I have no job right now. Maybe I've been unsure of what to say. Maybe I've been trying to just put everything behind us and move forward. I'm not sure. 

It's official. I'm officially a resident of Council Bluffs. The week of Thanksgiving was my last week at Kruger. It was a short week but a long week. It was really hard to say goodbye to some people there. I'd really developed some relationships over the two years I worked there and I'm really going to miss them. I also learned a lot and grew professionally over the years. And I'm very grateful I had that opportunity. I pray that when my next opportunity comes along, it will be just as satisfying as working at Kruger. 

Thanksgiving weekend was spend in Tipton for AJ and I. It was good to be out and just spend time with family. Unfortunately I was down for the count and spent most of the weekend sleeping trying to get over a cold. AJ spent the weekend with family and friends, including being a groomsman in the wedding of a good high school friend. Apparently he "danced it up" at the reception too, so it's good to know he can still have a good time when his wife is home sick and sleeping. :) 

This past week has been spent with AJ at school every day and me at home. And although it might sound awesome, it can get pretty boring pretty quickly. I've managed to watch two entire seasons of Grey's Anatomy within a week. But I have gotten some other things done. I've applied for jobs every day. I've finally started to get the apartment not looking like a bachelor pad. :) I got all of our fall decorations put away and all of our Christmas decorations up. Our stockings are hung on the fireplace and our tree is lit and decorated with ornaments. 

I think Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the decorations. I love the music. I love the spirit. I love the cookies! But I love what it stands for even more. I love the Christmas story. I love hearing how God sent His son into this world. I love the simple way Christ came into this world. Not in a fancy palace. Not with a big celebration. But in a manager. With just the people who loved Him. 

It's easy to forget what Christmas is really about. There's so much focus on the presents, on Santa and whatnot. But there is a real reason behind this season. (Cheesy rhyming, I know...) I think that this year is a year that AJ and I are really going to remember that. It's easy to remember what Christmas is really about when you're shopping for stockings at the Dollar Tree. It's easy to remember about Christ's birth when you're living on one income. It's easy to remember the Christmas story when all you want to do is just be able to spend the holidays with your family and that nothing else matters. 

One of my all time favorite things to do during this time of year is to go out in the living room late at night when everyone else is sleeping, and just sit by the Christmas tree. All the other lights are off except the tree. I've done it for as long as I can remember. There is just something so peaceful about sitting next to the tree, when all is quiet in the house and the snow makes the world so beautiful outside the window. In fact, that's exactly how I'm writing this blog. Okay, so there's no snow outside here, but I'm pretending. I guess I can't explain how much these moments mean to me. 

I recently read an Advent devotion about Christmas lights. It explained that we catch glimpses of light from heaven and that they can come to us in a hymn or song. But that they come as a renewed awareness of the forgiveness, acceptance and peace that God offers us. Jesus takes these lights and fills the darkness. He is the light of the world. Maybe that's what I see when I sit by the Christmas tree.

Moving forward

In my last post, I mentioned that we had been through some things that had tested us in a variety of ways. I mentioned that we, or at least I, had hit the breaking point. Well, it seems that God decided that it wasn't our breaking point quite yet and that He had a couple of other things in mind to test our strength.

I guess its true when they said 'things can't get worse', they do. I guess its true that when you think you can't take it anymore and you don't think you have the strength to carry on, you find that you must and therefore you can.

However, I continue to be blessed and amazed by all the love and support of our family and friends. I think sometimes it's easy to take that for granted, when its always there. But in the times when you really need it, and it comes through more than you ever expected, you are just so grateful. I am thankful for each and every person that has kept Austin and I in their thoughts and prayers throughout the past couple of weeks. And I can honestly say that I believe those prayers are being answered.

I admit that I was hesitant about God's timing for a long time. I didn't understand why things were or were not happening when I thought they should. But after all the recent events, things are making sense. God's timing is making sense. This shouldn't surprise me, because God's timing is always perfect, but it still does. God knows what He's doing. He has reasons behind everything. Reasons why things took place this week and last week. Reasons why it had to be now to leave my job. Reasons why I don't have another one lined up yet. Reasons for it all. 

There was something that I read lately. There is an application on Facebook called "God wants you to know". I had seen the messages pop up on my news feed from other friends but had never really looked more into it. But a couple of days ago when I was searching for some reassurance, I decided to see what God wanted me to know. And it is miraculous how God can even work through Facebook applications. This is what I was told: 

On this day, God wants you to know... that if you relax, it comes. Don't see, don't search, don't ask, don't knock, don't demand - relax. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, God shows you the way.

How amazing, right? I think this is just what I needed to hear from God. I was having a hard time relaxing this week. I was searching, I was asking, I was demanding answers from God. But I didn't need to. He knew what He was doing the entire time - He always does. I only needed to be patient and let God show me the way. And He has. 

God has allowed AJ and I to move on to the next chapter in our lives. We are taking steps every day. And I know that God is walking with us every step of the way. There was another quote that I read this week (again, on Facebook) that seemed to ring true with our live right now. It is a quote by C.S. Lewis.

We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.

Things don't always work out the way we want them to. Sometimes we have to put up a fight. Sometimes we have to go through trials and suffering. Sometimes there will be pain. But through all of this, God is there and God is helping us - making us stronger. These past couple of weeks have proven to AJ and I that life and marriage are full of ups and downs. But we can survive it all. We can move past it all. We will be better from it all. 


And for a piece of very good news: today is the last Sunday that I will have to leave AJ here in Council Bluffs by himself. This week is my last week at work, which will be sad and hard to say goodbye, but necessary. I'm excited to being this next chapter in life with my husband again, living together again! After Thanksgiving we will be home together again. I'll be interested to see how long it will take for AJ to wish I was back in Dike! :) 


Again, AJ and I appreciate all of your prayers, thoughts and support. We are blessed beyond anything we could ever imagine and have the greatest family and friends. Just knowing that you all have been thinking of us throughout this time warms our hearts. We are so thankful. God bless you all.