Word of the Day: Zany

I've decided that since I don't always have these 'profound' thoughts that come to me late at night, like my previous post, I better think of something else I can write about. And so this idea came to me last night... while I should have been sleeping, of course.

Each day (or close to that...) I will pick a word that begins with the letter Z and focus my entry around that word (or close to that...). And what better word to start with than Zany.

Word of the Day:
zany [zey-nee] noun: 1. ludicrously or whimsically comical; clownish 2. one who plays the clown or fool in order to amuse others. 3. a comically wild or eccentric person. 4. a secondary stock character in old comedies who mimicked his master. 5. a professional buffoon; clown. 6. a silly person; simpleton.

As you may have read in my "About Me" section, zany is a favorite word of mine. I'm not sure if many people have favorite words, but I know I have at least one that is always on the top of my list. Zany. As I briefly stated, I discovered the word in a class project. I believe it was in the 5th grade to be exact. Our assignment was to take our full name and for every letter in our name, find a word that describes ourselves. I had no problem coming up with most of these words, but for the letter Z, I was worried. So I pulled out a dictionary and one of the first words I found was zany. I remember seeing the words "buffoon", "clown" and "silly" in the description and thought, this is my word. I couldn't for the life of me tell you what any of my other words were that I used, but I always remembered zany.

Growing up, I was always that goofy kid. Maybe not the class clown - but the kid everyone picked on. Oh the joys... But, it never bothered me. I knew I was sometimes a little different, but I treasured it. I was the girl with the big glasses and goofy looking headband. In high school, the cliques would come and go and I was not in the popular group. But still, I held close to my 'strangeness' as I walked the halls. I was one of the few that chose not to drink in high school or participate in sports, but instead did drama and choir and spend the weekends with my friends on our crazy adventures. In college, it was different. College was a time for everyone to experiment with who they were personally. It was a time to hang out with different people and try new things. And this was perfect for me. Throughout my years at college, I became friends with a number of people in a number of groups. And I loved it. I was able to stay that 'strange' person that people would like to laugh at. :)

And now, that I'm out of college and married, I feel that zany still fits me - and my husband! While at work, I'm probably the strange one in the office, the quiet one, sometimes keeping to myself. But at home with my husband, I'm my true self and he loves it - and perhaps encourages it. ha! We are two very zany, silly people. Tickling each other, trying to pin the other down, spinning around in chairs until we get dizzy, making odd noises and talking like two crazy people. But it's who we are. It's how we complement each other.

I've always loved that part of me - the part that was never afraid to be different. To be silly. I've always felt free, never having to 'hid' my true self. So I encourage you to try it. Try to be a little silly today. Be zany.

Thoughts from 11:30pm and an Empty Bed

Funny how my thoughts always seem to come to me when I should be sleeping...

I had a bad day at work. Second bad day in a row. Nothing that needs to be discussed here, but but enough to make it a bad day at work.

The husband is gone tonight... maybe that's why my mind seems to be wandering. But as I was saying my prayers, I asked the Lord to continue to bless my husband with this tremendous amount of talent and enthusiasm he has for his career in teaching. After reading an email today from a teacher he worked with, I felt lucky that I was married to the man she was referring to.

Then I started to reflect on that fact. My husband is in a job field that he is perfect for. And he loves it. He lives for it. And I could not be happier for him! But I wonder if this is a rare thing... to be in a job that is perfect for him. I believe that my sister is working towards her perfect job. I know my mother is perfect for her job. And the list goes on and on...

And then there's me. Don't get me wrong - I love my job (most days!) and am fortunate for the job I do have. But I can't help but wonder if it is the perfect job for me. Here of course my mind wanders back to my senior year of college. Where I was struggling to grasp what I was going to do with "the rest of my life". I specifically remember a conversation with my mom who told me: "You are 22 years old. You don't need to figure out what you are meant to do in life right now." And thus was the inspiration for my senior chapel at college.

I was about to graduate college without a calling - one of the many things from my college's "claim to fame". And here I am, a year and half after college graduation, getting ready to watch my husband graduate and start his career, and I'm not sure what I'm doing is my calling.

I wonder if tonight's thoughts will be a random thing or perhaps something more. I've been personally searching for something deep inside of myself. A journey. A relationship. Both with God. Something I use to have a greater appreciation for. Maybe this blog will help me do that. Maybe it will help me grow. Help me listen. Watch. Learn.

Maybe this blog won't help me find my calling for my career at the moment, but maybe I can find a different type of calling. A more personal calling.