The Big 3-0.

Today is my last day of my 20's. 

I have to admit, the day kind of sneaked up on me. I knew it was coming. I've been wishing friends a "Happy 30th Birthday" now for a while, each time knowing it was one day closer to my own birthday. And I thought I was handling it well. Today... maybe not so much. :) 

One of my friends who recently turned 30 posted to Facebook "The last decade saw the highest of highs and the lowest of lows but I know that this new decade will bring amazing things."

This really spoke out to me. I had only ever thought of turning 30 as an end to my 20's. I never thought of it as a new beginning. And when I think back on my 20's, I can wholeheartedly agree that they did give me the highest of highs and lowest of lows. 

My 20's brought me new life long friends, a college degree, finding the love of my life and marrying him, new jobs and adventures and of course, Jacob. But my 20's also brought me hard life lessons, living separate from my husband, lost jobs, money woes, health issues and more that don't need to be brought up here. My biggest ups and downs have happened in the past decade. My 20's have shaped me to be the person I am today. They have helped me grow and learn. 

So maybe, saying goodbye to my 20's is not a tearful goodbye to my youth, but rather a thankful and appreciative goodbye for all that I learned. And with that thought, I can begin my 30's with a new outlook. 

But here's where my mind has taken a twist... and here is where I think my anxiety is coming from today. Now that I've taken a good hard look at the past decade, looking forward to the next one, I'm wanting great expectations. 

My 30's have to be better than my 20's right? And in order for that to happen, I have to take some responsibility in the path my life takes. While there is so much that I love about my life right now, there are also so many things I want to change. Some of which I've started working on, others... not so much. In my mind, I've psyched myself up to the fact that tomorrow begins a new decade and therefore a better decade. But what I need to remember, is that there will still be lows. There will still be failures. There will still be struggles. 

The one thing I do have going for me in my 30's however, is that I have all of those mistakes and failures from my 20's that I've learned from. I have everything I need to avoid making those same mistakes again. 

So, here's to my 30's. To my 20's, you've been great. You were fun and stupid and hard and incredible and everything in between. I will not forget you and will think of you often. To 30 and beyond, I welcome you with open arms. May we become the best of friends and work together to make this decade great. Cheers.