Be Orange!

IYKYK.

I spent this last weekend back at Warburg College for Homecoming/Family Weekend. Every year I say I want to go back for Homecoming but since I've moved out of the Cedar Valley, it hasn't happened. 

But luck on was on my side this year! My BFF (and college roomie) won the title of Ultimate Knight (her name was drawn on the UKnight Day of giving) and she got a free hotel room and free registration to the event. I immediately invited myself along on her trip. :) 

So we both made it back to Wartburg after far too many years away. Even better, another dear friend was temporarily back in town and able to spend a majority of the weekend with us. Plus I got to see another good friend on Saturday morning for a while. 

(Side note: I'm really hoping that I'll get to see even more amazing people next year because we'll be celebrating our 15 year reunion!!!) 

Being back at Wartburg was... magical. That place holds so many memories. It is the place where I learned, not only academically, but learned about the world, about others, about myself. It's a place where I started to grow into the person I am today. It's a place where I met people who would impact the course of my life. It's the place that gave me experiences I never imagined possible. It is a place that challenged me and pushed me. It is a place that comforted me and made me feel safe. 

As we sat at the bar on Saturday night, someone placed Lady Gaga's 'You and I' song. And I couldn't help but think, there really was "something about this place." 

We were walking around the Ren Faire and a business owner who had a table set up asked if we were alumni and if we were from the area. When we said that we were alumni from out of town he asked us, "What is it about Wartburg that bring so many of their alumni back year after year?" And I thought, it's just... home. Even when I first stepped onto Wartburg's campus as a senior in High School, I felt at home. 

It's a place where everyone is family. Where you can excitedly say hi when you see a familiar face even if you can't place their name. Where you can sit down with people you knew from your time in college, even if you didn't spend much time together then and spend hours chatting away in the Den. It's a place where you make forever-favorite friends with the most amazing people.  

And so the weekend was magically awesome. It was soul-filling in a way I didn't know I needed. It was reconnecting with people I should have never let drift away. It was being able to have these deep conversations and asking the types of questions that require reflecting. It was laughing loudly and creating new memories. 

But the weekend was not without some bittersweet feelings and memories as well. Because it was at Wartburg that I met AJ. It was at Wartburg I fell in love, got engaged and got married. For many years when I thought about Wartburg or talked about Wartburg, it involved AJ. Everything that I went through with AJ has changed me into the person I am today - for better or worse. And all that started with Wartburg. Those feelings are some of the most complicated and poignant ones. Because I can't regret what happened. Because I am thankful for so much.

All of that - the memories (the good and the bad), the people I've met, the reasons I am who I am today, my journey up until this point, the jobs I've held that have led me to my current role - so much of that started at Wartburg. It is forever a piece of me. 

And so, in deciding to "recreate" some of our college days and partake in a favorite Outfly tradition, two of my BFFs and I decided to get coordinating tattoos. Because once you go to Wartburg, you will always Be Orange. 

A long overdue 2019 update...

This year has not been good for my blogging skills and I'm long overdue an update to 2019. But it was recently pointed out to me that often the second year after a loved one's death is harder than the first. That first year, you're in shock, you're in survival mode. But the second year, that's when you really start to process your feelings of loss, your grief. And that can have an impact on daily activity or function. 

At the start of 2019, I chose FOCUS as my Word of the Year. But I've got to tell you, I have not been focused this year. I have struggled staying focused - in so many ways. I started the year strong, with clear goals in mind of what I wanted to accomplish. But many quickly became goals I just couldn't grasp. There have been many days when nothing in particular has been wrong, but I've just felt off. I think this is an effect of my grief. 

While the year has definitely not gone the way I wanted to, it has still been busy. I'll do my best to recap the past 7 and half months. 

I started the year getting a few things organized for Jacob and I. I created a schedule that hangs in Jacob's room that we can put up of all the day's activities. Jacob likes to know what's going on. Jacob was busy with Rainbow Room at church and swimming lessons at the Rec Center. I had joined Minnesota Valley Chorale again this season and choir practices started up quickly. We also spent one very cold Saturday exploring the St. Paul Winter Carnival and an Ice Castle! I have to admit, the ice castle was really cool!! ;-) We also froze bubbles outside in the -20 degrees weather!

In February I got to participate in Pedal Past Poverty, as part of my mom's church group from Messiah. Jacob was there to cheer us all on - myself, Nana and Papa. 

Pedal Past Poverty

We also took Jacob tubing for the first time at Mt. Kato. He had a blast!! Our first trip up the conveyor belt, Jacob kept losing his balance and falling over, getting carried along and struggling to get up. It was funny to watch. The rest of the day he got pulled in the tube and so he was not nearly as exhausted as Brandon and I were! I also managed to fall the down the stairs while carrying a sick Jacob. Sprained my foot and had Jacob throw up all over me. Winning parenting moments. Overall, we got entirely too much snow and storms and wind this winter. That was not fun. I summed up the month of February in my planner as "survived".

March started a busy church season of Lent but we manged some fun in there too. Jacob and I got a trip down to Iowa in right away and it was so much fun to watch Jacob play with his cousins. Brandon and I went with some friends to the Four Daughters Winery for a dueling piano event where we have a table right in front - so fun. We also went to Rochester to see my very good friend in her local theater's performance of Avenue Q! She, of course, was amazing! And the show so funny! Although, it had been years since I last saw the show and you can tell it was written in a slightly different time. 

Great Wolf Lodge

Marshmallow Pit

Jacob, Brandon and I also spent a weekend in the cities at the Mall of America where explored Candytopia - basically a dream come true for me. It was so fun and neat to see everything made out of candy - really like Willy Wonka! Jacob really enjoyed the marshmallow pit at the end! We spent the weekend at the Great Wolf Lodge enjoying the water park - especially the wave pool! 

Candytopia

Sips for Shelter

April was busy with church and choir practices. Throughout the month of April, I was singing in four different choirs! The Worship Choir and Chamber Choir were both a part of church. Then there was MN Valley Chorale and the Mankato Children's Choir - more on that later. I tried taking Jacob to an egg scramble, but there were too many people and he didn't want to participate. He did enjoy playing at the playground though! The weather was super nice that day. Jacob got to spend an extended weekend in Iowa with his grandparents and cousins, which he LOVED. Chelsea and I managed a girls day while helping a good cause at the Sips for Shelter event, put on by Partners for Affordable House. We spent the day being bused around to different local wineries and breweries and it really was a super fun time. 

Also in April, I made my final payment of student loans!!! YAY!!!! 

MCC Concert

In May things started to slow down, choir-wise. I decided to sing in the Alumni Choir of the Mankato Children's Choir with a good friend. We both grew up singing in MCC and thought it would be fun to do the alumni choir as part of the 25th Anniversary concert - and it was! It was great to see some familiar faces and old directors! While the Minnesota Valley Chorale had our two concerts in April, we were still practicing. We had been invited to sing with the Mankato Symphony Orchestra. They were doing Handel's Messiah. This was my first time ever singing with an orchestra and singing so much of the Messiah. But it was such an amazing experience, I'm glad I did it. 

The last few months of school were somewhat challenging for Jacob. While he's a smart kid, he was having trouble staying focused. Sounds like the beginning of this post! He wasn't listening like he should, would rather walk around by myself than do his school work or listen at story time. He was using some "potty words", trying to get the other kids to laugh and distracting the class as a whole. We tried a couple of different things and we talked through it with Jacob's therapist. (He regularly sees a therapist and has been since the start of 2018.) Finally, we found a system that seems to connect with him. Jacob would have daily sheets sent home that would tell us how he did for each party of the day. He would get a smiley face, an OK face or a sad face. His points would get added up and he had a goal he tried to meet each day. There were rewards both at school and at home when he met certain goals. By the end of the school year, Jacob seemed to be on track and doing what he needed to be doing. I was extremely proud of the progress he made and thankful for the teachers that helped us at school. 

Champagne Bar

Brandon and I also decided to take a vacation during May and spent five days in California where we explored Wine Country and San Francisco. We both decided the vacation was too short but we had a fun time wandering around and relaxing. I even convinced Brandon to do a spa day with me which included a mud bath! I'm not going to lie, it was a little weird but super relaxing. The weather was perfect while we were out there. 

Chicago 

Jacob meanwhile, spent a few days in Chicago with my parents and had a blast. He really enjoyed going to the top of the tallest building and standing out in that glass cube. I admire his bravery! 

And then it was summer! Ah the start of summer. When the weather gets better, the days get long, you have a ton of fun plans and then you only manage to do a fraction of them.. 

I did get to spend a weekend in Rochester catching up with two very amazing friends. We went and saw the super funny movie "Booksmart" and spent the weekend catching up and talking about life. We managed to get to the Air Spectacular event as well and saw some really awesome airplanes doing some amazing tricks. We also went to the Lake Days parade in Lake Crystal and enjoyed the marching bands. We found a new seating spot this year, right at the beginning and I'm pretty sure it's our new favorite spot. We ended the month in Iowa, celebrating Jacob's birthday with family. 

Cousins!

July was a bit busier. We started the month celebrating the 4th, Jacob's birthday again and the wedding of a cousin's out at the family farm. All of us cousins were finally in the same place at the same time! It was a miracle. Jacob did TWO weeks of Vacation Bible School - one at Messiah with Nana and one at CTK. While he might not have been a fan of going that much, he was a trooper and did good! 

Girls Weekend

I also enjoyed an extended Girls Weekend getaway with some high school friends. This was our second year of having a girls weekend and it was just as much fun and definitely needed. It's always amazing when you can get together with friends who you don't see very often and sometimes don't talk to very often, but it's like nothing changes. I love having such a great group of women in my life and I love all the fun we have. 

At work, we had a Office Family Outing at the Mankato Moondogs game at the end of the month. It was a fun afternoon of food, drinks and baseball! Then, I ended the month up in Fargo, at our headquarters for our annual marketing meeting. This was the second time I've been to Fargo for a marketing meeting and the second time I did not manage to get a visit to Dan and Josh in! There's always next year. 

And finally, August. We spent one Thursday exploring a new park up in Jordan with some friends and had a great time. The park had a great playground, a splash pad and a little beach! We would definitely go back. Then Jacob and I went to Iowa to take part in the 2nd Annual Focus Up on Mental Health 5K, which is organized by Austin's sister, in his memory. It was a very successful event and a great weekend to spend with family. But our weekends down there are never long enough and Jacob did not want to leave that Sunday. 

Just last week, Jacob had Camp MidKnight at school. This is where they invite all the incoming kindergartners to come experience what a typical school day will be like once school starts. It's so amazing because they have not only the Kindergartner teachers there, but also many of the preschool teachers. They have practically the whole school to themselves, get lunch and meet new friends. Jacob had a really fun time, saw some friends from Knights Plus and made some new friends. While he's excited to finish out his summer vacation, I think he's also really excited to start school again. 

I also had the chance to attend my 15 year High School Reunion last week!!! What?! Yes, 15 years. We all kind of missed the ball on this and so the event was thrown together last minute. But we still managed a good showing and it was fun to see old friends and classmates that I haven't seen since probably our 10 year reunion! :) 

Jacob and I have spent the last 10 days fending for ourselves while Nana and Papa are enjoying a trip overseas! And I'm happy to report that we are surviving! And while it's nice to know we're capable of taking care of ourselves, we're also looking forward to the return of Nana and Papa. And if I'm not mistaken, I think they're glad we aren't taking this newfound freedom of living independently too seriously and that we'll probably stick with the basement a while longer. :) 

So here's to the rest of summer vacation, my favorite season fall and then winter before we know it. 

More pictures from the year:

Like I said, entirely too much snow

Cousins!

Kindergarten Roundup!

Happy Easter!

Air Spectacular 

Celebrating 150 Years at Our Saviour's Butternut

Happy (Belated) Birthday Jacob!

Our sweet, funny, amazing, goofy, smart, adorable, lovable baby boy is no longer a baby. We officially have a toddler on our hands now. Jacob turned one (almost a month ago already, due to my poor blogging skills...) and I have no idea what happened to the past year. By all accounts it was the most interesting, most stressful, most fun, most difficult, most exciting, most amusing, most sleep-deprived, most adventurous year I think I've ever had. There were tears, laughter, mistakes, learning, growing, moving, challenges and love. More love than I've ever known possible. Becoming a parent really does change everything. And in ways you will never understand until you become a parent. 

I created this fun poster to help showcase Jacob's first year. 

Also during Jacob's first year, he has already lived in three different places (in three towns even and different parts of the state!), been to Nebraska and Minnesota in addition to his home state of Iowa, has visited a zoo, gone for some tractor rides, loves looking at himself in a mirror, looking at pictures of himself or watching videos of himself. He has developed an adorable belly laugh that I cannot get enough of. He's made new friends at two different day-cares, both of which have been great. He loves to go swimming and making noise - any kind of noise. He loves to eat and can make the funniest faces. He went as both Charlie Brown and Jake from State Farm for Halloween because we couldn't decide and he spent is first Christmas at home with just Mom and Dad. He's also already been to a Wartburg Outfly and Homecoming, so he's well on his way to becoming a Knight. And that cute little cone-head he was born with turned into an even cuter perfectly round head. :) 

Jacob is already a spoiled kid and had two birthday parties! We had one in Minnesota and then another one a week later in Iowa. I figured it would be easier for family and friends this way. And Jacob was blessed by everyone that came and helped out. We are so grateful for you all. The birthday party theme was of course, Goodnight Moon, after Jacob's favorite book! As much as Jacob loved the cake during his cake smash photo shoot, he wasn't into it at either birthday party. For his credit, he was probably tired and overwhelmed with all the people and a different schedule though. He did want to eat a lot of the fruit though, and I know I should be thankful my son wanted the fruit rather than the cake, but where's the fun in that? :) 

Jacob also had his one year check up and of course, is still a healthy baby! And he's finally a well proportioned boy! :) Haha! He weighed 23.3 lbs (81%), is 30 3/4 inches tall (83%) and his head was 18 3/4 inches (87%). In the 80% for everything - first time that's happened! He also got some more shots which I was nervous about because Austin couldn't get off work to be there with me, but I successfully distracted him with the "Hot Dog Song". 

Jacob is getting closer and closer to being able to really walk on his own. He has taken his first steps, but won't go more than a half a dozen steps before sitting back down or falling over. He's great at standing unsupported though. And those first couple of steps he took? They were towards mama, but I was also playing the "Hot Dog Song" on my phone, so I'm not sure I can take the credit. :) He also loves to talk a lot, but we're not hearing any real words yet. Although he is getting closer I think. The other day it sounded like he said "yeah" to a question we asked him and last weekend, it sounded like he was trying to mimic the words "I love you". 

We also successfully quit nursing. I was actually very surprised at how well Jacob did with this. I had been slowly weaning him, cutting out feedings until we were just nursing at night before bed. But Jacob started taking a bottle instead with no problems! In fact, we've even stopped giving him bottles already and just use a sippy cup. The doctor had told me at his appointment that he'd like to see Jacob not using a bottle or his pacifier by 18 months. So the bottle is done but I think his pacifier might be a bit more of a challenge. Although, I generally just let him have it in the car and at nap and bedtime. 

Jacob has also started cutting his molars and it has not been fun. I think this has been much worse than his other teeth. He seems to get fussy at random times but especially at meal times. When he's normally been such a good eater, now it can be a give or take. Although he does like things that he can crunch, probably feels good. And he also loves to eat whatever we're eating. So my food is no longer my own... I better get use to sharing! :) 

In other news, Jacob and I got to spend the week of July 4th up in Minnesota with my family. My sister Meg was down on vacation too and she was able to get in a lot of Jacob time, which is good because we don't get to see her much now that she lives up North. :) Austin was able to come up and join us on Thursday and it was nice to finally have him there too. It was a perfect week of relaxing and spending time with family and friends that we don't get to see nearly enough. 

Writing this also reminded me that in mid-June, I had my 10 year high school reunion! I don't think I ever mentioned that here so I'll do it now. It was so great to be able to see those friends again. Some of us were able to get together a day early and brought the kids and husbands (if they weren't working) for some nice family time. And there sure are a lot of kids when we get together now! :) Then at the reunion, it was great to just have some fun adult time with no kids! After that, I realized how much I miss my high school friends but how thankful I am that we can still get together, even if it's just once a year, and it's like nothing has changed. We also had a great time going over old yearbook pictures and memories! Always a good time! 

And finally, we're moving! Again! I know, shocker. We found a two bedroom apartment in Lisbon and will be moving around the second week of August - let us know if you're available to come help. ;-) It's a little smaller than where we've been, but it's nice and super close to work for me - only 8 minutes! And it's only 20 minutes for Austin. Hopefully within a year or so, we can start looking for a house to buy. It's about time we try to settle down in one place, right? No? Maybe. We'll see. :) 

A Blessed and Busy Weekend

Last Thursday we woke up, did a couple of feedings with Jacob, packed up the car, did another feeding and hit the road. It was our first real road trip with the little man, and it was a long one. We were heading to Minnesota, just under a five hour drive. Luckily, Jacob does great in the car! He seems to really love the carseat and will normally just nap! We ended up stopping only twice to feed and the second stop worked out so we could stop to see Jacob's clans-aunt! 

We made it to Minnesota around dinner time on Thursday evening. On Friday we ran some errands in Mankato and then stopped to see Grandma Reedstrom at work so she could show Jacob off. On Saturday morning, we headed into town for a baby shower for Jacob with some of my high school friends. I love that even after all this time, we can still get together and have plenty of things to talk about. Our get togethers have also become more noisy with toddlers running around and babies crying - but still a ton of fun! Jacob got to meet a lot of family and friends all weekend! Saturday night, Austin's family drove up to Minnesota and we enjoyed a really nice dinner outside and spending time on the porch. But Sunday was definitely the busiest day! 

On Sunday morning, we woke up early and headed to church. It was time to baptize Jacob! My mom suggested it when she was down visiting. Megan was going to be giving the sermon back at my hometown church - the same church my parents got married in, my siblings and I were all baptized and confirmed in. We weren't sure it was going to work since the date was only a couple of weeks away when the idea was brought up but luckily it worked for immediate family so we went ahead and set it up. There was a baptismal gown that my mom had made which my siblings and I all wore at our baptisms and I wanted Jacob to be baptized in it as well. And with the way Jacob has been growing, I didn't want to wait too long! :) 

It had rained some that morning and on our way to church, we saw a rainbow. I had been nervous about getting Jacob baptized because I was worried he was going to scream either the entire service or at the very least during the baptism. And I really didn't want that! But when I saw that rainbow I thought of it as a sign from God that the service was going to go well. Austin later suggested that maybe my Grandma Reedstrom had sent the rainbow to let us know she was with us that day. I like to think that's true. And Jacob did great during the service! We ended up feeding him right at the start of the service and he pretty much slept through the whole thing! Megan gave a great sermon and Jacob even helped with the children's sermon! Then it was time for the baptism! Jacob's sponsors are Megan (my sister) and Amber and Matt (Austin's sister and brother-in-law). Jacob pretty much slept through the baptism but right after Pastor Salim got done pouring the water over his head, Jacob let out a cute little sigh. Jacob is so blessed to have such great family and now he is a part of even a larger family - God's family. It was a great service. 

After church, it was back to the house for lunch with family and friends. Then in the afternoon, we headed back out to church. My little sister was getting ordained! Megan graduated from seminary this past May and recently received her first call (aka, her first job!). She will be heading to the Minnesota north woods to a two-point parish in Bigfork and Effie, Minnesota. So on Sunday afternoon, the bishop of her synod came down to perform her ordination service. It was a really cool service to be able to witness and I could not be more proud of her! She's going to do great things up north! :) We're also excited to be able to head up there eventually and see her house and the churches she'll be working at. Although, it will probably be a little while because it's quite the drive! 

On Monday, we were going to head back to Iowa but the weekend had been so busy and exhausting, we decided to take one more day to rest up and take advantage of family who was willing to hold and watch Jacob while Austin and I slept. :) And on Tuesday, we finally headed back home. As nice as it was to be around so many family and friends, it was also nice to be back at home again. 

During our time in Minnesota, Jacob was more fussy than normal. I think that the change in location, routine, meeting new people and all the new noises were a lot for him. Understandable! But it made the weekend very exhausting. Even though I may have gotten more sleep, I felt more exhausted from trying to comfort Jacob so much and feeding more than normal. Now that we're back at home, we're trying to establish our routine again. And we're slowly getting there. 

But Jacob is definitely growing! He'll have spurts throughout the day where he'll feed every hour! Mostly this happens in the evening and that's also when he's the most fussy. It makes me sad because I don't know if there's something bothering him or if he just feels like crying. We did buy some gas drops to give him when he's being really fussy to see if it helps with tummy problems. And so far it does seem to be helping. 

I read a blog post the other day about surviving the first few weeks home from the hospital with a new baby. Reading it, I could have sworn it could have been taken from a journal I had written. (You can read it here) I had all this energy when we first got home from the hospital, which was surprising because I thought my recovery after a c-section was going to be harder on me. But I had a great recovery with hardly any pain. I wanted to be up and getting things done. But I resisted. Having family there to help me get those things done for me really helped. After the first couple of weeks my energy did start to slow down. I wasn't feeling exhausted but I was definitely finding it easier to stay and bed and take naps with my little man. The blog post had some good tips and the one I loved the most was to watch your newborn sleep. I love doing that so much. He's so peaceful looking when he's sleeping and I can't help but stare. It's very distracting. :) 

Another thing the blog briefly talks about is breastfeeding. This was something I always knew I would do. I wanted to do this. It's healthier for the baby, cheaper for us and I wanted to experience that bonding I had read about. But I have to admit, I don't love it. I don't necessarily enjoy breastfeeding. Please don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I am able to breastfeed because I know some women can't and I can't imagine not being able to provide for my son that way. But it's not something I just can't wait to do again when feeding time comes around - especially during Jacob's cluster feedings! It's exhausting knowing that my body isn't my own during those times. It takes time to get it done. And when we're with other people, I don't like having to excuse myself for 20 plus minutes at a time, missing out on conversations and taking Jacob away from people (because let's be honest, it's him people want to see!). I know I could use a cover (something I still need to buy...) and breastfeed in the room with people, but I just don't feel comfortable with that yet. Jacob and I are still figuring out how to work together. Right now, it just feels tiring, messy and time-consuming. But I know it will get better. And again, don't think I don't want to breastfeed, because I do! Jacob and I just need some more time to get it down to a science. 

But back to the what matters: Jacob! Jacob is officially one month old! And he now weighs just over 10lbs! And my growing boy is getting stronger every day! We're still working on tummy time to help strengthen his neck and back muscles, but he's working on that even when we're not doing tummy time! Putting Jacob up over our shoulder, he'll push himself with arms and hold his head up and look around! And he's doing it longer each time! The other night during tummy time, again he used him arms to push himself up to look around! It's just amazing! His legs are always getting stronger! He will push up against either Austin and I with his legs and hold his cute little butt up in the air. :) I just love watching to see all the new things he does every day! He also continues to find new noises to make, which are too cute! I can't believe one month has gone by already! Time can certainly slow down any day! 

One Month Old - July 26, 2013

The days after...

After Jacob was born, it seemed like we lived in that hospital. We were there for almost 6 full days. I wasn't sure we would ever leave! But a lot happened those days we were there. 

Throughout that first day we started to try and breastfeed. This was something I really wanted to do for Jacob. All the books tell you that it can be difficult and it takes some time. And they were right. We were having a hard time. At first he was having problems even latching but then he got the hang of that, but wouldn't suck. We met with the lactation consultant who worked with us but without much luck that first day. After a while we started using a shield which seemed to help. We were told not to worry too about it too much because Jacob's stomach was so small right now anyway that he'd be fine. 

My parents and sister stayed all day and got to spend some time with Jacob. It was great to have them there because while they were busy holding him, Austin and I got to get some sleep in! And boy, did we need it. Around noon on Wednesday, I was treated to a foot and leg massage by the massage therapist at the hospital and it felt amazing! And then, with much help, even got out of bed to shower! Those first couple of steps felt so weird! First off, I didn't have a big baby belly anymore. And second, I had been bed bound for a little over 24 hours! I was very wobbly at first! But the shower felt amazing. 

Everything throughout the day was looking good. All of our checks and tests were great. Right after birth, Jacob scored a 9 in the APGAR test. I can't tell you much more about that first night because everything was such a blur! 

On Thursday, June 27th, Jacob was scheduled for his circumcision that morning. We got an update before and after that everything had gone well. After his recovery, they brought him back in for us to spend some time with him. Before and during the procedure they give him sugar water and this caused him to be pretty sleepy throughout the day. It made trying breastfeeding difficult. We were having luck again using the shield but he would latch and only suck for a very short amount of time before falling asleep. Again, we were told it wasn't a big deal and that we'd keep trying. 

Thursday night is when things started to get a little interesting. First we had to switch rooms because they had a full house at the hospital and need our birthing suite. Our new room was much smaller and didn't have the pull-out couch for Austin to sleep on. There was only a pull-out chair which wasn't nearly as comfortable. So Austin decided to head home that night and sleep there. We were keeping Jacob in the nursery at night and just having him brought in for feedings. I was still working hard at breastfeeding but I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere. 

Around midnight the nursing brought Jacob in and hold me was a little jaundice so they had put him under the warmer for a while. I tried breastfeeding again but wasn't really successful. Over the course of two hours, Jacob only managed to suck around four minutes. He would latch, take a pull or two and then fall asleep. Luckily I had an awesome nurse helping me through all of this. At 4am, I hand expressed some milk/colostrum and we were able to feed it to Jacob by syringe. The nurse put her finger in his mouth and would wait until he sucked before feeding him - trying to make sure he would connect the two. This really seemed to help make things click for Jacob. After that, he was able to latch and fed for about 7 minutes - the longest yet! 

A couple of hours later, the morning nurse came in to tell us that Jacob's blood sugar levels were low. They like to see a newborn's levels between 50 and 100. Jacob's was in the low 30's. So they had us feed him 17mL of formula. I wasn't too excited about this as I really wanted to just breastfeed, but I knew Jacob had to eat. Before our next feeding that morning, we met with the lactation consultant, Rita, again. She has much more patience than either Austin and I but helped us get Jacob to latch without even using the shield! And then he even fed for about 15 minutes! We were all very excited! We were so proud of Jacob at this point. 
Shortly after he got done feeding, our pediatrician came in to talk to us about some concerns she had about Jacob because of the jaundice and low blood sugar levels. She wanted me to pump every two hours so that we could see exactly how much milk Jacob was getting at each feeding. But first, she wanted to give him some formula again because of the low levels. This happened right after we just got done feeding Jacob and the lactation consultant was still in the room with us. I was feeling pretty frustrated at this point because we had just had a great feeding with Jacob and I wasn't sure he needed the formula. I wanted them to check his blood sugar again to see if my feeding had been enough for the little man. I wanted the reassurance that I was doing my job. I could tell Rita (the consultant) was feeling the same way and she was vocal about it to our pediatrician. They really butted heads on it and it put Austin and I in a bit of an uncomfortable situation as new parents who really don't know what we're doing. That was extremely frustrating. 
In the end, the formula was given to Jacob. I was going to be pumping every two hours, before each feeding, and we would feed Jacob with a bottle. If he wasn't getting enough with my milk, formula was going to be supplemented. They were going to be checking his blood sugar levels every hour and run some blood tests to see if the low levels were being caused by an infection or something. While I did have some concerns about Jacob going back and forth between a bottle and straight breastfeeding, I also like the reassurance of knowing exactly how much he was going to be eating each time. No parents want to hear that something is wrong with their baby so we were willing to do what we needed to do to help make him better. 

So this is how our Friday continued. Jacob was getting his blood sugar checked every hour and I was pumping every two hours for feedings. The good news is that I was pumping more than enough milk for each feeding and we didn't have to supplement with any formula. The bad news is that when they would come and prick Jacob's heel to test the levels, my poor baby would just scream and cry. It's a horrible thing to have to watch and probably was more traumatic on Austin and I than on Jacob! He would calm down pretty quickly as soon as it was over and was able to cuddle with mom or dad. But every time the nurse came in and started messing with his foot, he knew what was going to happen and would start to cry again. Every blood sugar test they did however was great! His levels were never below a 50 so we knew he was doing great and getting enough milk! 

On Saturday, June 29th, we were told they were going to use the day as a trial run. The feedings had gone so well all day Friday and through the night that I could stop pumping and go back to just breastfeeding. They were still going to keep checking his levels though to make sure he was getting enough. We were also still doing a strict two-hour feedings. So before each feeding, they came in to check his levels again. All day Saturday his levels were still great! Never dropping below 50. And breastfeeding was getting easier. 

Later in the day, Austin's parents were able to come and visit, along with his sister and brother-in-law and their 7-month old. It was fun for the cousins to meet and I think they're going to be great friends as they grow up together! :) Again, it was great having family there and fun to watch them hold and interact with Jacob. 

Also as the day went on, the blood sugar tests got harder and harder.They kept pricking his little heels and were having a harder time getting blood. Hearing his cries was absolutely no fun. Finally we asked if it was still necessary for checks every two hours since his levels had been so good and luckily the nurses and the pediatrician agreed. They still wanted to keep checking but it would be every four hours. 

On Sunday morning we finally got the go ahead to get discharged! We were going home! Again, all of Jacob's levels checked out great and the blood work came back with no signs of infection. The pediatrician decided that the poor little man just probably didn't get enough to eat those first couple of days. We were glad to hear nothing else was wrong. As we got all of our discharge instructions, I was getting more and more excited to go home. We had been there long enough! One of the nurses walked down to our car with us to check our car seat and help us load everything up. 

As soon as we were good to go and Austin started to drive away, I suddenly became very anxious! It was real. We were leaving the hospital. We had a baby. We had this other life to be responsible for. Such an overwhelming feeling, especially since I was still excited! 

Austin's parents were there to help us get settled in at home and even let us get a quick nap in before they left. It was a great help, especially since we knew it would probably be a long first night at home. And it was a pretty long first night. We had bought a video baby monitor and Austin decided he wanted to set it up to watch Jacob in the bassinet, even though it was right next to the bed. I admit I made fun of him a bit at first but once it was bedtime, I was thankful for that monitor! It was an extra reassurance to be able to watch him sleep, otherwise I'm sure I would have been standing over his bassinet all night!  But we survived the first night. And every day things get a little easier. We're learning as we go and Jacob is sure teaching us the things we need to know! :) 

Since we've been home, we've had family and friends here helping us out. It's been great having them around and they've really been a huge help! It's making the transition easier as well. But soon, it's going to be just the three of us. But I think we're going to be okay. :) My friend Amanda came down for a couple days and cleaned our entire apartment for us! It was cleaner than I think it's ever been! Austin's parents came and helped us get a ton of things packed up before our move later this summer. My family also came down and is helping me around the house while Austin is away. Austin had the opportunity to go to a conference with Dike-New Hartford with some other teachers so he's currently in the Cities for a few days. It's nice to have family here so I'm not by myself. 

We went back to the doctor on Tuesday for a 48 hour follow up with our pediatrician because of the problems we had in the hospital. Luckily, Jacob passed with flying colors. He had already gained back and passed his birth weight! He was 8lbs 7oz! The jaundice was completely gone and he looked great. It was a relief to hear and helped calm my worries some. I felt better after leaving the doctor. 

And so here we are. Living each day as it comes. We've fallen into a pretty good routine. And Jacob's eating schedule is pretty good so far as well. He's a pretty content baby and makes things easy on us. Let's hope it stays that way! :) We also fall more and more in love with Jacob every day! And it's fun to see how much he changes every day! You can't tell much by looking at him, but looking back at pictures from his birth, you can notice differences. He's also just a fun baby to watch sleep. He makes the funniest faces. And the funniest noises! We couldn't be happier!

Baby This & Baby That

With our doctor appointments taking place every two weeks, they've been pretty boring. So nothing really new to report. These visits are just a quick check - weight, blood pressure, measure the belly and baby's heartbeat. Nothing too exciting, except for hearing that heartbeat! :) I believe that we'll have one more ultrasound before the baby comes to check the growth, but I don't know when that will happen. 

It's crazy to think we're already in May and that NEXT MONTH is when this baby is coming!!  I think we're slowly getting more and more prepared for this baby. The first thing being birthing classes! We started a four week course last Thursday night. The first class was pretty basic - talking about different symptoms and what to do, what to look for with signs of early labor, some breathing techniques, etc. We also got a tour of the birthing center at the hospital we'll be having the baby at and that was pretty neat. I'm really interested in our next class because we'll be talking about pain management. :) 

Another way we're getting ready is with some pretty awesome baby showers being thrown by some pretty awesome people. :) My aunts threw us a great baby shower a couple of weeks ago when we were back in Minnesota. It was a lot of fun, great to see so many people and we got some really great stuff. Austin's family is throwing us a baby shower this weekend as well! We are so grateful and blessed to have such awesome family and friends! It also makes it more real as we start to get more and more baby stuff around the apartment! 

And speaking of our apartment, my nesting skills are coming in handy! As we'll be moving after the baby comes and we only have a one bedroom right now, I'm using my nesting energy to start getting ready for the move! Austin doesn't really enjoy this as much as me. :) I'm making sure we go through everything before we pack anything and get rid of everything we don't need. It's been great to get rid of a bunch of junk! And then we've slowly started packing up things we don't need on a day to day basis. 

That's about it for baby news. In other news, we spent a weekend in Minnesota a couple of weeks ago for the wedding of a very close friend of mine. It was the same weekend as the baby shower so needless to say it was a long and exhausting weekend - although a lot of fun! 

As the school year is coming to a close, Austin has been wrapping up with final concerts and performances. He has had a lot of great things happen at the end of the year as well! The first was a day at Solo/Ensemble Contest. Austin took 17 entries and walked away with 9 Division I (Superior) ratings and 8 Division II (Excellent) ratings! This was a record day for the choir! The choir also had a workshop day with the Wartburg Choir and during the workshop they performed for the choir and received comments and tips from members and Dr. Nelson. It was a great experience and the students really learned a lot! The Middle School concert was next and it was a great concert! The students really worked hard! Next the Concert Choir and a Treble Choir went to Large Group Contest and after two amazing performances, each group walked away with a Division I (Superior) rating! Finally, Austin had his final high school concert. Again, it was a great performance and the students did an outstanding job! The students also presented Austin with flowers and a card and thanked him for taking a "Division IV choir to a Division I choir". He then received a standing ovation from the crowd. It was amazing to see the support that Austin has received for the past three years at Riverside. 

This weekend we're heading to Tipton for our baby shower and to see a Cedar Rapids Titans game and see Ariel dance. But it'll be a quick trip as we have to return Sunday morning to get ready for the Choir End of the Year Awards Banquet on Sunday afternoon. The following weekend we're off to Dubuque for my sister's graduation! It'll be two busy weekends but should be great times with family! After that I'm done traveling until after this baby comes! I'm taking the rest of those weekends to rest and nest! :) June will be here before we know it! 

My thoughts on our new adventure

Three years ago, Austin and I made the decision to move to Western Iowa when Austin accepted his first teaching position at Riverside. At the time, it was a huge decision for us. We were newlyweds, I had a great job and we were living in an area where we had been throughout our college years. We were comfortable where we were. In fact, you can go back and read old blog posts from that time to see how we came to the decision to move and what that all meant for us. 

I'll admit right here that while there was some excitement over our move, especially for Austin to start his first teaching job, I was somewhat leery about moving to Western Iowa. After Austin had officially accepted the job, we came out here to start looking for apartments. I really wasn't impressed by what I was seeing and had some doubts about if this was the right decision or not. But we found an apartment we liked, in time I found a great job in Omaha and we started to make this our home. 

Now if you were to ask me if I think we made the right decision three years ago, I would say absolutely. This is where we were meant to be at this time. We've developed some great friendships with people and have some very supportive communities that we belong to. 

My co-workers at UNO became close friends very quickly and have made going to work for the past two years feel nothing like work. :) I've been blessed to work with such a great group of people and in an environment where we can have fun together both at the office and outside of work. 
The staff, students and parents of the Riverside School District have also been of great support to us. They welcomed us into their community with open arms. Again, I say that we've been blessed to get to know many of them throughout different events and activities. We actually moved to Oakland after our first year out here and being a part of this district has been great. Austin has really been able to grow the vocal music program from the ground up over the past couple of years and that would not have been possible without the support of the community. 
I would also say that we've been extremely blessed to be a part of the Grist Mill Theater community. After participating in the production of "Annie" last summer, we made some great new friends. This group of people is one of the best that you'll meet. Welcoming, supportive, fun. It was a great experience that left us with some great new friendships. 

When we had family or friends come and visit us, many of them would say how great of a community we're apart of and how lucky we are to know such great people. And I would agree. Austin and I are both so grateful for all of these friendships and the support we've gotten over the past couple of years. It's meant a lot to us. 

The one downside - and I mean it, there is literally just one - of living in Southwest Iowa is the distance to our families. It's a five hour drive to my parent's home in Minnesota and a four hour drive over to Austin's parents in Eastern Iowa. This has been hard for us as family means everything to both Austin and I. And I know I should feel lucky that we don't live any farther away than we already do! I think five hours is definitely my limit. 

And so we've always said that at some point, we want to get closer to our families again. Especially when we decided we wanted to start a family. But deciding if now is the time to leave Riverside hasn't been an easy decision. We tried (unsuccessfully!) to convince our families to move here so we wouldn't have to leave! :) But in the end, we want to be closer. And with a baby on the way, Austin started applying for jobs. 

I do want to say here that Austin wasn't going to apply for just any job. We weren't looking to leave Riverside because we didn't like it - nothing could be further from the truth. He was only going to apply for jobs that put us closer to family and that would potentially be in larger school districts. We were also looking for larger areas so that finding a job for me hopefully wouldn't be too difficult. 

And there were some jobs that fit what we were looking for, mostly back in Eastern Iowa. He applied early and we didn't really think we'd hear back from any of them that quickly. Soon I had left for Minnesota for two weeks for work and that's when things started to happen. 

On the Wednesday of the first week I was gone, I had a text from Austin saying that Dike-New Hartford had called him and wanted him to come interview Thursday - as in the next day! And while I thought "hm, that's really fast!", I was also excited. For those of you that don't know, DNH is located about 20 minutes west of Cedar Falls and Waterloo - where we lived before moving here. In fact, my old job at Kruger Seeds was actually located in Dike! So this is all very familiar territory for us. The Cedar Falls/Waterloo area, being just 30 minutes south of Wartburg, is about as close as we're able to get to halfway between our families. The drive is three hours up to my parents and just two hours down to Austin's. 

So Thursday, Austin drove over to Dike for his interview and I anxiously awaited his call to hear how it went. Finally he called and told me all about it. He said he really like the people he met with, thought he could get along with them really well and thought the program would be a great program to come into. He also said that they were doing more interviews on Friday (the next day) but were hoping to have an offer out to someone by Friday evening. Well, in our experience, these things tend to get stretched out and so we weren't expecting to hear from them right away. 

Well Friday comes and before the day is over, Austin is calling me telling me DNH has offered him the job. And that they want an answer by Monday. Well I'm not sure how Austin was feeling but I was a little bit shocked! That wasn't much time for us to consider everything and the worst part was that I was still in Minnesota while Austin was back here at home. Not being together to make such a big decision was frustrating. 

We spent a lot of time on the phone that weekend, going over everything. The benefits of taking the job, the stress of moving with a newborn, me having to find a job, being closer to family, taking a look at the district and seeing if it's a place where we could stay for a long time... etc. It was a lot of back and forth. In the end, it's about putting it all in God's hands and letting Him guide us to the right decision. The only problem was that a weekend isn't a lot of time to try and listen for an answer. 
In the end though, a decision was made. Austin called me on Monday and said he was going to accept the job. Looking at the position and the school district, he felt comfortable in saying that it feels like the right fit and a place where he can continue to grow professionally. And that's really all that matters. Everything else surrounding the move will fall into place in due time. I'm confident in saying that God will help us. 

And so that's where we are today. We're moving back to the Cedar Valley. The place where we went to college, where we met, where we got married and where we started out together. We're both very comfortable in the area and that's helpful to us as we start to plan our move back. We'll be able to get involved in a new community with the school district and we're also looking forward to going back to a community that we were a part of - a community at Zion Lutheran Church. Austin directed the choir and the bell choir there for two years before we moved and we're both looking forward to being back to such a great church family. 

We're excited. We're excited about the move, about the new possibilities and new adventures that will come our way. There's a lot to be nervous about it as well, but definitely a lot of excitement. But there's also a lot of sadness. Leaving this area is going to be hard. Maybe even harder than we're anticipating. There are going to be some hard good-byes. Some of which have already started. 

Austin and I will both agree that we will treasure our time that we've been out here. We've grown as individuals, as a couple and professionally. I know that we were meant to be here for the last three years. We've learned a lot and done a lot. We've met some amazing people. It's been a great experience. 

But now it's time we make that next step. We're starting a family. We're ready to start settling down in a place. We're ready for new adventures. And there are sure to be some adventures in our future. 

Little Baby Z :)

I know it's been a long time since I've updated, but shortly after my last post, I started traveling for work and then we found out we were pregnant! :) So I thought I'd take the time now, since we've recently shared the news with everyone, to update you on our life and the pregnancy. 

So the fall travel season started out normal and I was busy visiting high schools and college fairs. It was the week of October 22nd and I was up in Minnesota for some college fairs. As the week went on, I started feeling sick but really didn't think much of it - I thought I had just picked something up from the road or one of the many high schools I had visited. I wasn't feeling any better and when I went into work on Friday for our Open House I think I made it until about 8:30am before I had to give up and go home because I was so sick. I spent the rest of the day sleeping. That night, it was actually Austin that suggested I take a pregnancy test because it's rare that I get sick for that long. I told him I would take one but I wasn't going to look at the results - he would have to do that. Because in all honesty, we had been trying for a while and I was getting tired of being disappointed by the negative test results. He agreed, so I took the test and left it in the bathroom for him to look at and went back to bed. Three minutes later, Austin came out of the bathroom and said, you might want to look at this. It was positive! :) Even though we had been trying, it was still a bit of a shock to see! But Austin and I were both so excited! 

We both agreed we weren't going to tell anyone right away until after seeing the doctor and such. But the next day, we were suppose to go to Des Moines to help Matt and Amber move into a new apartment. Looking back, I probably should have just sent Austin and stayed home because really I was of no help. When we got there, we told the family I had picked something up on the road and wasn't feeling good. Austin's mom asked (somewhat jokingly) "Are you pregnant?" I laughed it off and said no, that would be much more fun being sick if I was! However, I would soon learn that those words held no truth for me... 

The first thing we did after finding out was to find a new doctor. The doctor we had been seeing was only a family doctor and didn't do deliveries. When I called to ask for a recommendation, the doctor's office really wasn't a lot of help. So I just searched the internet, found an OB-GYN doctor and made an appointment. Well luck was on our side because we absolutely love our doctor. She recently had a baby herself so knows exactly what I'm going through, she explains everything clearly to us, answers all of our questions and is just generally really nice. :) We had our first doctor appointment early November, when I was about 7 weeks along. I really wasn't expecting much from the appointment, mostly just to confirm I was pregnant. So it was a pleasant surprise when we were told we'd get to have an ultrasound! It's true, the little bean didn't look like much, but we could see the flickering of the heart. That made it all very real - to both of us!

7 weeks

After that appointment, we decided we would tell our immediate families at Thanksgiving our wonderful news. We first had Thanksgiving with Austin's family the week before Thanksgiving. For both sets of parents, we bought frames that on one side had a poem about a Little Grandbaby and on the other side we could put an ultrasound picture. We had Austin's mom open up the present and when she realized what it was, there were tears in her eyes. :) The excitement was there in everyone that we were expecting! It was also fun because Amber and Matt were expecting a little one (who would come a week later!!) and so we were happy that our babies would be so close in age and have someone to play with growing up. 
Next it was time to tell my family. We went up to Minnesota the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and by the time we got there, it was fairly late. But everyone was still up and enjoying some drinks and appetizers so we joined in! My dad offered me a glass of wine and so to not give anything away, I accepted but didn't drink any. We actually had another present for my parents that night. In October, they celebrated 30 years of marriage! So Meg, Dan and I put together a photo book of pictures throughout the thirty years and in the back we had messages from family and friends. This was the first time we were all together so we had them open the book first. I think they were pretty amazed by it and impressed at all the work it took. Especially when they got to the messages in the back. My mom made a comment that we'd never be able to top a present like this again! (Little did she know...) After they looked through the book I said that Austin and I had another present for their anniversary and my sister joked about how we were showing them up. My dad was the one to open our present and once he opened it, he looked down at it, looked at us, looked down at the picture again and then up at us and said, "You're going to make me a Grandpa?" And when we said he, he (literally) jumped out of his chair and my mom started crying. I'd say it was a pretty good response. :) Again, everyone was very excited. 

So both sets of parents are very excited to be grandparents, or grandparents again. And in some cases, I would even say they are more excited than Austin and I! As my mom put it, "I think we're more excited for this baby than we were our own because this time we're not scared to death!" :) Point well made, Mom. 

Again, we decided that we wanted to wait until Christmas before telling extended family and that was pretty hard for both sets of parents. :) It was also hard for us! Especially at Thanksgiving with my dad's whole side of the family asking us when we were going to have kids, telling us we need to hurry up and making sure we had an announcement to tell everyone by the time Christmas came around. :) But we managed to make it through without anyone spilling the beans. 

At the beginning of December, we had our second doctor's appointment and again had another ultrasound. This time the baby looked a little bit more like a baby and was even moving around for us. It was pretty cute though - and the doctor agreed - because the little one had it's feet up in the air and ankles crossed. It was definitely just hanging out. :) This time we were also able to hear the heartbeat and that was a magical sound. Again, just reaffirming that this is really happening! 

11 weeks - with ankles crossed in the air :)

11 weeks - just hanging out 

Even though we had seen the baby a couple times and were able to share our excitement with family, this pregnancy was not going easy on me. From six weeks and on, I had horrible morning sickness. And it was not just in the morning, it was an all day battle. I was having a really hard time keeping most foods down and even on some really bad days, even drinking water was difficult. On top of this, I was still struggling to finish all of my high school visits. I was also constantly exhausted. Luckily, my job is pretty flexible and with comp time that I had from traveling, I was able to take days off when I needed it without using up all my sick days. Finally, when Austin was just as sick of me being sick as I probably was, he urged me to call the doctor and see what they could do. I had already tried some over the counter medicine but it wasn't helping. So I got a prescription to help with the nausea and was finally able to eat some food. It didn't make the morning sickness go away completely, but I was able to eat a little bit more. The every day morning sickness though lasted until about week 13 before it finally eased up and by that time I had lost about 20lbs. Luckily though, I was feeling much better as we headed into the holidays at home and was finally able to really eat some "real food" and all my Christmas favorites! :) Although I can tell my stomach has definitely shrunk because I can't eat very much before I get really full but at least I'm able to eat and have an appetite again! And at our most recent doctor's appointment, I was told it was okay to hit the desserts to start putting some of that weight back on. Not something you hear very often from a doctor! :) 

Over the Christmas break, we were able to see most of our extended families (on both sides) and some friends and share our wonderful news with all of them. It was a lot of fun telling everyone each time we did and then answering questions and sharing stories. One of my favorite stories though is probably when we told my Grandparents on my mom's side. We skyped with them on Christmas morning and my dad actually recorded the video of us telling them. I'll share that video with you all when I can. :) 

Our last doctor's appointment was on December 31st and this was just a quick one to hear the baby's heartbeat. It was a strong heartbeat in the 140's but the doctor was laughing because the little nut kept moving around! It looks like the baby already had Daddy's crazy energy! :) It really was the perfect way to end the year. 

And now we're into 2013. Our due date is June 23rd and crazy enough, both Grandpa's also have birthdays in June! So I'd say it's a pretty good month! I'd also say that God's timing is pretty awesome because Austin will be done with school when the baby comes and will be able to be home with me and the baby all summer! Not only will I appreciate all the extra help, I'm sure, but it will be a great family bonding time! Our next appointment is January 22nd and we'll have our anatomy scan then to check and make sure everything is growing the way it should. We have also decided to wait and not find out the sex of the baby until he or she makes an appearance in June. :) 

So life has been great. Things have been busy. And big changes are about to come. Austin and I are making sure we enjoy our lazy weekends of doing nothing and sleeping in as much as possible now before the little one arrives! :) But otherwise, it's life as normal. Austin is entering his busy time of year as he prepares students for solo/group ensemble contest and then large group contest after that. And soon I'll start traveling again with high school visits and college fairs. I'm sure the next six months are going to go by a lot faster than we hope! But I'll try to keep things updated on this blog on how everything is going with our growing family. Thank you all for your support and excitement for our little blessing. We are definitely looking forward to this next chapter in our lives!