Entering Motherhood

*The first part of this blog was written on May 14th, 2013 but never published. The second part was just written after looking back and reflecting on this post.

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So for those of you  that know me, I've never been a really strong person. I'm not talking about being able to lift weights - although I can't do that either! I'm talking about  not being able to stomach certain things very well... needles, blood, pain, etc. I mean really. Ask my parents about the fun they had trying to pull my teeth when I was a child. Or ask Austin about the bloody incident right after he got his wisdom teeth out! I just don't do well in these types of situations. I get queasy and faint. It's how it's always been.

So, when Austin and I first started talking about babies, we wanted to make sure we were both ready. I obviously realized that if I wanted a baby that would mean I would have to go through the labor and birth. And while this scared the crap out of me, I honestly didn't put much thought into it. When I knew I was ready to have a baby, I just hoped and prayed that when the time came for the actual birth part, some mother's instinct would kick it and get me through it! And this was my thought process all throughout us trying and probably the first 6 months of this pregnancy even! I didn't want to hear your stories about how the process went for you. I didn't want to watch any videos or read too much about the process. I was going to be blissfully ignorant and pray for those mommy skills to take over. I'm serious when I say I really tried not to think about the actual birthing process much throughout this pregnancy. I would think about everything going on with my pregnancy and I would think about everything that will happen once this baby comes. I would just skip the part when the baby makes his/her appearance! 

When I did let myself think about it, I would tell Austin that it was one of my biggest fears with this pregnancy. Not necessarily what would be happening, but if I was strong enough or not to actually do what needs to be done. What if I couldn't? What if I couldn't stomach through the pain? What if those mothering instincts didn't kick in? This was my fear.

Now we're getting close. We're a little over a month away from welcoming this baby into the world. Soon I'm going to have to find out if I'm strong enough. But as we get closer, I'm starting to feel more calm about what's going to happen. The birthing classes helped. It helped knowing exactly what happens in each stage and what I'll be going through. And as much as I didn't want to, I did watch a video of a baby  being born. :) And it wasn't too bad. Although I still don't think I want to watch while I'm going through it. And I do think that some of those mother instincts have kicked in. I feel more comfortable with what needs to be done. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm still nervous! But I know I can do it. I know people will say "You'll be fine, don't worry, your body is made for this, etc." And I understand all that, I do. But I don't think hearing it is really going to help. This is just one of those things that you're not really going to know until you've gone through it. And soon, I'll be able to say that I've gone through this miraculous experience. 

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Well I survived the birth and labor process. Although it didn't happen the way I wanted it to, we still ended up with a healthy beautiful baby boy. And that's all that matters. I learned that I was strong enough. I could handle the pain of contractions. I could handle being uncomfortable. I could handle pushing. I could handle a major surgery. I could handle the recovery. And I did handle it all. And it was all surprisingly easy. Well, the process might not have been easy, but being able to handle it, being strong enough, was easy. It came naturally. And just like that, I became a mom.

Being a mom is everything that I expected it to be and nothing at all like I expected it to be. 

Everything is different when it's your own baby. I was okay with babies before, never quite sure how to act because I didn't want to hold the baby wrong or feed him/her wrong with mom sitting close by, watching me. (not saying this did happen, but that's just how I would feel) I wasn't excited to change dirty diapers - gross. I actually didn't want to do with that at all. Or deal with throw up. Or boogers. Or blood, especially blood. But it changes when it's your own flesh and blood. Dirty diapers don't bother me. Being covered in throw up doesn't bother me. I actually have a sick obsession with getting boogers out of my son's nose. And the blood? Well, luckily I haven't had to deal with that yet but that might be one I'm still not okay with. :) 

Before my son was born, I was nervous. I was nervous about making that transition into motherhood. How was I going to raise a baby? How will I know what to do? Will I be doing everything correctly? Or am I going to royally screw this kid up? 

Once my son arrived, I was almost surprised at how easily things came to me. I'm not saying here that being a mom and taking care of a baby is easy, because it's not. But with certain things, I just knew what to do. And maybe easy isn't the right word. Things came naturally. I felt completely comfortable holding my baby. I felt comfortable changing his diaper. I felt comfortable feeding him. Patience came quickly and easily when listening to his cries and learning what he needed from me. There were certainly things I needed help with or wanted assistance before venturing out on my own. And I still have questions where I consult my book, my parents or fellow parents. But I felt like a mom. 

And I love being a mom. I love being responsible for another life. I love that he is so dependent on me right now. I love learning about him. I love being able to comfort him when he's crying. I love cuddling with him. I love feeding him. I love bathing him. I love playing with him. I love singing to him. Talking to him. Teaching him. I love his smiles. I love watching him grow and change before my very eyes every day. I love knowing he is a part of me. And part of my husband. Part of us. 

But being a mom is hard. There are days when I can't stand his crying. When I do have no patience for it. There are days when I feel like all I do is feed, change a diaper, rock the baby until he sleeps for a very short nap and then do it all over again, getting nothing else accomplished for the day. There are days when I don't want to leave the house because it's just too much work with a newborn. And there are days when all I want to do is leave the house and have some adult time without a baby around. There are days when after finally getting him to fall asleep, I start to close my eyes and he wakes up. There are days when I feel so exhausted all I want to do is sit in a corner and cry. 

But then he smiles at me. And my heart literally melts. Every damn time. And I forget everything else. 

But I still worry sometimes. I remember that first day home from the hospital. I broke down and cried because I was scared and nervous. How were we going to take care of this baby? Are we going to do everything right? And while some of that has disappeared, I still feel that way some days. I worry about his sleeping habits. Have we created bad habits and how do we change them now? I worry about his little head and how he has a little bit of flat spot on one side. Will we be able to fix it without having to spend a ton of money on some fancy helmet? I worry when he cries sometimes. Is he in pain and just can't tell me? I always worry when he gags or sounds like he's catching his breath. Why haven't I learned baby CPR yet? I worry that we're not stimulating him enough, or that we're over-stimulating him. I worry we're not doing enough tummy time. I worry we're not reading to him enough, or singing to him or even talking to him enough. I worry. About a lot of things. But we can only keep going like we are, learning as we go. And praying that it will all work out in the end! :) 

But I can not get enough of my little man. I love spending every day with him. Sometimes it's hard for me to share him, even though I know I need to! I also know that I would do anything for this baby boy. I will do anything to make him happy. I will do anything to protect him and keep him safe. I will do anything he needs from me. Especially when I want to keep him away from pain. Because it pains me to my core when he is in pain. Two month shots - horrible. Baby feeling sick and not himself - horrible. These times when he's in pain and crying, I'm in pain and crying. I want to help him so bad! Although I know there are times when I won't be able to. I know there are times when he'll have to have pain in order to learn, to grow. But I know I'm not going to like it. I wish I could always take away his pain. Because I love him so much. So much it hurts sometimes! I love him so much I just want to squeeze him and hold him. I love him so much that sometimes I'll just cry when I look at him. I love him so much that I'll physically miss him when he not in my arms, even if he's just napping on the other couch or in his crib. I love him so much.

You don't realize how much you can actually love another person until you have a child. It is an immeasurable amount of love. It is a parent's love. A mother's love. 

Our Birth Story

Monday, June 24^th, 2013

June 23^rd was my estimated due date and it was also the day of the largest full moon of the year. Unfortunately, this didn’t help jump start my labor. So one day past my due date, June 24^th, we had a doctor’s appointment. I was still progressing but fairly slow, not much progress from our last appointment the week before. Dr. Platt decided to do a membrane sweep to see if that would help get things moving. We scheduled an induction for Thursday, June 27^th if Baby Z didn’t decide to come earlier.

After the doctor’s appointment, I was feeling pretty crampy and I started to feel some pretty irregular contractions. These were the first contractions that I had really felt. I wasn’t really feeling any Braxton Hicks or anything before then. These irregular contractions continued throughout the evening and night.

Tuesday, June 25^th, 2013

At about 1:00am, I started to feel some regular contractions. They were lasting anywhere between 30 seconds and a minute and half, happening every 4-6 minutes. We had been told at our appointment that baby was most likely sunny side up, so facing the wrong way. Because of this, all of my contractions were being felt in my lower back. After about an hour of contractions, Austin called the hospital to tell them what was going on and they suggested that we head on in. We were able to watch a really sweet lightning show on the drive in. Although I don’t think I was able to enjoy it as much as normal since I was breathing through contractions every couple of minutes.

We arrived at the hospital at about 3:30amand right away I was hooked up to monitors to watch contractions and check the baby’s heartbeat. The heartbeat was great and the contractions were still regular. I was still slowly progressing at this point. I did spend some time off the monitors which meant I was able to walk around but I was feeling some pretty intense back labor. Around 5am, Dr. Marshall (the other doctor in our office and the one on-call that night) was called and told about where I was at. He gave the go ahead to let us stay at the hospital. It was official – we were going to have a baby! This was a relief but also a little scary that after nine months of carrying this baby inside, we were going to be meeting him/her soon! It was go time!

Shortly after 7am I decided to start some IV pain meds, after six hours of back labor. I really don’ handle pain well so I was pretty proud of myself for lasting that long. I received that every one hour for three hours. During those three hours I was able to get some sleep but towards the end of each hour, I would feel the pain getting intense again. Around 11:00am, I decided to go for the epidural – something I was always open to having. :) So the anesthesiologist came up to set the epidural. She also put a new IV in my right hand because the one on my left had fallen out. I have to admit that getting the IV put in my hand hurt worse than getting the epidural. I had progress a little bit more at this point but still fairly slow. Once the epidural set it, my contractions were reduced to barely noticeable. I started to feel more pressure in my lower abdomen at this point, but nothing painful. I was also able to take some longer naps now, which was great! I was mostly being woken up by the nurses to check on things. My contractions and the baby’s heartbeat were still doing great.

Around 1:00pm, Dr. Platt came in to check on us. She decided to break my waters to help things keep progressing. She said everything was looking good and that hopefully I would start progressing a little bit more quickly now. After a couple of hours however, my contractions started to slow to about 5 minutes apart, so pitocin was ordered to help. I was given the lowest dose to start out and see what would happen. My contractions started to get a little closer together but the pitocin dose was upped by one around 5:45pm.

Around 7:00pm I started to feel more pressure with each contraction. There was no pain, just the pressure. At 9:30pm, Dr. Platt came back in to check on me and wasn’t too impressed with my progression. She decided to switch to an internal monitor to help gauge the strength of each contraction and to help determine if more medicine is needed. At 11pm, I had progressed, but very little.

Wednesday, June 26^th, 2013

At 12:00am, we did another check and I had progressed a little more. I asked for a boost in my epidural because I was starting to feel some sharp pains in my lower back again. At 12:50am, Dr. Platt came in and told us that it was time to start pushing! After about 30 minutes of pushing, I was able to take a break. What I didn’t know until hours later was that during the pushing, the baby’s heartbeat had dropped to the 80’s. Luckily, Austin knew better than to tell me this at the time it was happening because it definitely would have made me stressed and anxious.

At 1:45am, Dr. Platt came in to inform us about her concerns for the baby and mom. I had actually fallen asleep for a bit so I was a little bit shocked because I didn’t know that anything was wrong. But after I got done pushing, baby’s heartbeat shot up to the 180’s/170’s. Baby also wasn’t descending properly and was still not in the best position. Baby was getting stressed during the pushing and from the medicine. So Dr. Platt recommended that we move forward with a c-section and because we didn’t want to take any risks for myself or the baby, we agreed. A c-section was definitely the last thing that I wanted. Not only because I wanted to experience the miracle of birth, but because I was scared of the procedure and the recovery. But Dr. Platt was great about walking through each of my concerns with the procedure. Austin was also great about helping me stay calm throughout this time.

We decided to call our parents at this point to let them know we’d be heading in for the c-section. We definitely thought the extra prayers would be helpful and help calm me down!

Around 2:15am I was taken back to get prepped for surgery. Austin was allowed to come back for the procedure and sat by my head the entire time, keeping me distracted from what was happening. Having him talk to me the whole time was exactly what I needed.

At 2:48am, Jacob Alan Zaruba was born into this world at 8lb 6oz, 20 ½ inches long. Austin was actually able to take a look over the curtain and he was the one to tell me it was a boy! I love that he was the one to tell me that news! A few seconds later, we heard Jacob cry for the first time. I think it was at that time, it became real. Our baby was here. And his cry was an amazing sound. Austin went to Jacob as they did their tests and he was able to cut the umbilical cord. After he got done with that, he turned to look at me and even through his mask, I could see the smile on his face! What a proud dad! Austin left with Jacob to go to the nursery as they finished their tests on him while surgery was finished with me. Finally, around 3:15am, Jacob and Austin came back to the room where we were able to be a family for the very first time! It was love at first sight. It’s hard to believe that in a matter of minutes, our entire lives had changed. Our focus had shifted to this tiny baby, who we were now responsible for. What a whirlwind of emotion!

Looking back, the rest of the day was a blur. It was in all honesty, the longest but most rewarding day of my life. I had been in labor for about 26 hours. But at the end, I was awarded the most beautiful baby boy. And I could not have done it without Austin. He was by my side the entire time. And even while I was sleeping, he was awake, too anxious and excited to sleep. He was supportive in all the right ways, getting me everything I needed and encouraged me when things got hard. I am so proud of the man he was that day. He could not have been a better husband to me.  And now everyday I’m falling more and more in love with these two amazing men in my life. 

Any day now!

We're getting closer and closer! This baby could literally arrive any day now! I had my 38 week doctor's appointment this past Monday and it couldn't have gone better. Still measuring right on track, everything is progressing, baby's heartbeat has slowed down some (which is good!) and is now in the 130's and I even lost a little bit of weight! 

It's hard to imagine that after 9 long months, we could be meeting this little one anytime. It's been a long nine months, but at the same time, they've flown by. Looking back, I would have to say that this pregnancy has been pretty easy over all and I was blessed with no complications. I've come to really treasure the moments when I can feel Baby Z kicking and moving inside of me, even when they are a little painful! And although I'm ready to hold this little one in my arms, I'm going to miss those kicks! 

This has also been my last week at work before I take my leave. This week I've been feeling pretty anxious about the baby coming, but not necessarily because of the fact that the baby is coming. Austin has been having some car problems and not always being able to start his car! So I think I was worried that the baby would come while I was at work and Austin wouldn't be able to make it to the hospital right away! Hopefully next week I'll be able to relax at bit at home, with Austin, and wait for the baby to come! I have to admit though that I'm ready to be done working. I have a hard time concentrating on anything and it just gets pretty uncomfortable sitting at my desk all day. The fact that I'll be leaving UNO for good hasn't really hit yet. I'm too distracted with the pregnancy that I don't think it's hit me that I won't be returning to work. But when it does, that's really going to be hard. 

Otherwise, life has been pretty boring. We're just slowly getting things packed up but mostly just anxiously waiting for the baby! The next post I make will probably be after the baby comes! Exciting times! :) 

Closer and Closer!

It's almost Baby Month! It's hard to believe, I don't know where these last 8 months have gone! Last week we had a doctor's appointment and we had our last ultrasound before the baby comes. This was basically just to check the growth, do some measurements and make sure the baby was in the correct position - head down. Everything looked great! Baby is head down and measurements were right on track! The doctor estimated the baby was weighing in right around 5 1/2lbs. So if the baby gains about a 1/2lb a week from here until my due date, that would be about a 7 1/2lb baby! Again, all just an estimate, but that's a size I'm okay with! :) I also had the Group B Strep test done and that came back negative so no antibiotics during the birth. So, overall the appointment was great and things are progressing already. During the ultrasound as well, we tried to get another look at baby's face but again, it had a hand up there the whole time! Throughout this entire pregnancy, every ultrasound has shown a little hand in front of the face! The doctor made a comment that this is probably how the baby is going to sleep when he/she arrives! I don't doubt it! But I am eager to finally get a good look at this little one! :) 

That appointment was also the first of our weekly visits! We're now at the doctor's every week until this baby comes. So we had another appointment yesterday! This was just a quick belly check - measuring right on track at 36 1/2 weeks! And listening to the baby's heartbeat, which was in the high 140's. So everything is great! 

Now that we're basically a month out and that the baby could come early, we spent some time this past weekend making sure we have everything ready for when this baby comes! We got the bassinet set up in the bedroom. Looking at it, it's hard to imagine that soon a little baby will be sleeping in there! I also got most of the hospital bag packed! I just need to add a couple more things and then some clothes for Austin as well. One thing that we meant to do, but didn't get done yet, is install the car seat! Need to make sure we know what we're doing before this little one arrives! 

I also have a small list of things to go and buy that I would really like to have or need before the baby comes. Hopefully we'll get that done this weekend. And finally, just going through all the amazing things we got from baby showers and sorting out what we need right away and what can be packed until we move. 

Austin finished with school last week, or at least with students. But that doesn't mean he hasn't been any less busy! Right now he's been spending a lot of time working on the choir CD and getting that finalized. Riverside is actually doing a Celebrate Riverside day this upcoming weekend and Austin will be there, along with the new director they hired, to showcase all the amazing accomplishments the choir had over the past year and sell CDs. It will be his last hurrah at Riverside, so a bittersweet day for sure. He's also been busy packing up his office at the school and I'm amazed at how much stuff he's accumulated over the past three years! 

A couple of weekends ago, we traveled to Dubuque for my sister's graduation from Wartburg Seminary! It was pretty awesome to see her graduate after four years of hard work! I'm excited to see where the next phase of her life will be! It was also nice to spend some time with family while we were there, even if it was just a short trip. Although I must also say, that this trip was my last before the baby comes and I was very excited about that as well! Long car rides have just gotten too uncomfortable for me! It's nice to know I don't have any long drives until after the baby comes! This past weekend, Austin went back to Tipton for a friend's wedding. It's never fun being apart from him and I was praying the whole time he was gone that I wouldn't go into labor! But I think he had a nice, and again short, trip back home. It will be nice once we move to be closer so that these short trips won't be as much of a hassle - especially since we'll have a baby to bring along! 

So that's about it for us. No big plans now until this baby arrives! I'm hoping now that Austin is done with school, he'll be able to do some more packing around the house for me. :) He'll also be doing some voice lessons up until the baby comes. I'm also still working and plan on working as long as I can. Although it is getting a little bit harder every day! As the due date gets closer, I'm becoming more uncomfortable. I've also had some of my morning sickness return, which isn't fun at all. Let me tell you, it's a lot harder to bend over a toilet at 8 months than it was during my first trimester! Ha! I'm also have more and more heartburn when I lay down to sleep at night, so that's been keeping me up as well. I know, I know - the lack of sleep is just preparing me for when this little one is here, but I'd sure love some sleep now! :) 

Update time!

Just another quick update! We had another doctor's appointment this week and unfortunately Austin couldn't come with me since he was teaching. But it was a quick check-up again - weight, blood pressure, belly measurements, baby heartbeat, etc. And everything looked great! It had been awhile since we had an appointment with our doctor, we had been seeing the other doctor due to the ultrasounds and scheduling. But yesterday I was reminded how much I love our doctor. She's just super friendly and nice! She also makes me feel really good about myself! :) She kept saying how great I looked and that my ankles weren't even swollen, etc. It was pretty nice to hear! I also wanted to record the baby's heartbeat for Austin since he couldn't be there. And the little stinker kept moving around while we were trying to listen and then was pushing the probe away when we did finally find it! Such an active little baby we have! While she was measuring my belly, she kept saying that my belly is definitely all baby! And she was pretty certain that the baby is head down and even fairly low - which is great!! 

We go back to the doctor next week already! Must mean we're getting closer... :) Next week we'll get our last ultrasound to do a growth check. They'll be checking to make sure everything is still on track and to give us a rough estimate of the baby's size. 

In other news, we went to Tipton last weekend and had a fabulous baby shower! It was great to see people and again we were blessed with a ton of fun baby stuff! We were also able to go to a Cedar Rapids Titans game and see Ariel dance - which was really fun! On Sunday we headed back early because Austin had his End of the Year Awards banquet for the choir. It was a fun event and he had a lot of awards to hand out - which is great! It was also an emotional event because parents and students took some time to say thanks to Austin and let him know how much he'll be missed. There were definitely a lot of tears. 

My co-workers have also been pretty amazing and threw me a baby shower at work this week! Austin and I are so lucky to know such awesome people! The shower was a lot of fun with games and food and again, great gifts! We are so grateful for everything!! 

I've also decided how glad I am that this baby isn't due any later in the summer. Before getting pregnant, I had fairly poor circulation and was always cold! Like crazy cold, especially compared to Austin who was always warm. Since getting pregnant and the increase in blood flow, I'm always warm, if not hot! Even more so than Austin in some cases! Well I don't think I ever appreciated that being cold versus hot was a better option - at least in my opinion. I've hated being so warm all the time! It's been very uncomfortable. Early this week, we had some really warm days - in the 80's and 90's! And our air conditioning at our apartment wasn't working. Well this was not good for this pregnant lady! :) Luckily, we've gotten it fixed (or at least we hope so!) and shouldn't have that problem anymore. But thankfully this baby will be here soon and before it gets  any hotter around here! 

We've also had some questions about our next step, when we're moving, etc. We don't have a lot of answers right now. We definitely aren't moving until after the baby comes. I didn't want to mess with finding a new doctor, especially when I really love who we have now. Our plan is to move towards the end of July, that way we will still be able to have our follow up appointment with our current doctor. We don't have a place to live yet but I've been looking. A lot of places are open right now and so I'm waiting for some to open up with an August 1st move-in date. Right now we're looking at the Waterloo/Cedar Falls area. It's just a quick drive over to Dike and has more options for us. I also don't have a job. I haven't really been applying to too many either. I'll start applying to more in June and July. 

I think that's about it for now! More updates when I have them! :) 

Baby This & Baby That

With our doctor appointments taking place every two weeks, they've been pretty boring. So nothing really new to report. These visits are just a quick check - weight, blood pressure, measure the belly and baby's heartbeat. Nothing too exciting, except for hearing that heartbeat! :) I believe that we'll have one more ultrasound before the baby comes to check the growth, but I don't know when that will happen. 

It's crazy to think we're already in May and that NEXT MONTH is when this baby is coming!!  I think we're slowly getting more and more prepared for this baby. The first thing being birthing classes! We started a four week course last Thursday night. The first class was pretty basic - talking about different symptoms and what to do, what to look for with signs of early labor, some breathing techniques, etc. We also got a tour of the birthing center at the hospital we'll be having the baby at and that was pretty neat. I'm really interested in our next class because we'll be talking about pain management. :) 

Another way we're getting ready is with some pretty awesome baby showers being thrown by some pretty awesome people. :) My aunts threw us a great baby shower a couple of weeks ago when we were back in Minnesota. It was a lot of fun, great to see so many people and we got some really great stuff. Austin's family is throwing us a baby shower this weekend as well! We are so grateful and blessed to have such awesome family and friends! It also makes it more real as we start to get more and more baby stuff around the apartment! 

And speaking of our apartment, my nesting skills are coming in handy! As we'll be moving after the baby comes and we only have a one bedroom right now, I'm using my nesting energy to start getting ready for the move! Austin doesn't really enjoy this as much as me. :) I'm making sure we go through everything before we pack anything and get rid of everything we don't need. It's been great to get rid of a bunch of junk! And then we've slowly started packing up things we don't need on a day to day basis. 

That's about it for baby news. In other news, we spent a weekend in Minnesota a couple of weeks ago for the wedding of a very close friend of mine. It was the same weekend as the baby shower so needless to say it was a long and exhausting weekend - although a lot of fun! 

As the school year is coming to a close, Austin has been wrapping up with final concerts and performances. He has had a lot of great things happen at the end of the year as well! The first was a day at Solo/Ensemble Contest. Austin took 17 entries and walked away with 9 Division I (Superior) ratings and 8 Division II (Excellent) ratings! This was a record day for the choir! The choir also had a workshop day with the Wartburg Choir and during the workshop they performed for the choir and received comments and tips from members and Dr. Nelson. It was a great experience and the students really learned a lot! The Middle School concert was next and it was a great concert! The students really worked hard! Next the Concert Choir and a Treble Choir went to Large Group Contest and after two amazing performances, each group walked away with a Division I (Superior) rating! Finally, Austin had his final high school concert. Again, it was a great performance and the students did an outstanding job! The students also presented Austin with flowers and a card and thanked him for taking a "Division IV choir to a Division I choir". He then received a standing ovation from the crowd. It was amazing to see the support that Austin has received for the past three years at Riverside. 

This weekend we're heading to Tipton for our baby shower and to see a Cedar Rapids Titans game and see Ariel dance. But it'll be a quick trip as we have to return Sunday morning to get ready for the Choir End of the Year Awards Banquet on Sunday afternoon. The following weekend we're off to Dubuque for my sister's graduation! It'll be two busy weekends but should be great times with family! After that I'm done traveling until after this baby comes! I'm taking the rest of those weekends to rest and nest! :) June will be here before we know it! 

Hello Third Trimester!

For whatever reason, for both Austin and I, it seemed like our time between our last doctor's appointment until now has been forever! And yes, there was an extra week in there due to my traveling but it felt much longer than it actually was. We sure to like being able to see this little baby or at least hear the heartbeat! :) But because of my traveling, we ended up having two doctor appointments, just a week apart - no big deal to us! 

Our first appointment was Monday, the 25th. At this appointment we had a 3-D ultrasound to get pictures of the baby's face. Well apparently this baby is going to be stubborn like both mommy and daddy... :) Baby Z kept both hands in front of it's face the whole time! At the very beginning, it even had a foot up there as well! Maybe it just didn't want to be photographed today! The doctor did measurements and everything is measuring perfectly, which is great! He kept going back to try and get picture of the face, but nothing. We tried talking and getting the baby to move, and it was moving, just not the hands! :)

I've said from the beginning that this baby is going to come out talking, something it'll take after it's father... ;) Well one of the first things we saw at this appointment was the baby with it's mouth open in a little "o". Already practice talking in there! 

Here are some pictures from this appointment: 

This is about the best we could do for a face shot. It's a side profile, you can see an ear, an eye, some of the mouth and of course that hand up in front of the face!

See that fuzzy stuff? That's hair on our baby's head! :) 

This picture makes me smile but it's really hard to see. It's a straight shot of the baby's face. There's a small arrow pointing to a black hole - that's the baby's mouth, wide open and probably talking away! :) 

The nice thing was since we were going to be back at the doctor's in just a week, they said we could try again to get some better pictures then! 

Our next appointment was just this past Monday. At this appointment we again were going to try to get some pictures of the baby face, but the biggest event at this appointment was my one hour glucose test. This is a test to check for gestational diabetes. Basically they make you drink these orange drink full of sugar and then an hour later, take your blood to check that your body is processing sugar correctly. If you fail this test, you then have to go back in for a three hour test. 

I have to tell you I was dreading this appointment. I don't always do the best with drinking weird drinks and I'm definitely not good with getting my blood drawn! So needless to say, I was nervous. But I will admit that the drink was not nearly as bad as I was expecting and it was pretty easy to drink. Then getting my blood drawn, I lucked out and got someone who really knew what he was doing and again, it was pretty painless. And then we had to wait for the results. 

I got the call the next morning and I'm happy to report that I have passed the glucose test!! :) I can't even tell you how happy this makes me! I did not want to have to go back for the three hour test. Any time I don't have to go the doctor, I'm going to take it! So I'm one very happy pregnant lady! 

Back to the appointment... we did try another 3-D ultrasound to get pictures of the baby's face. All day before the appointment, the baby was moving around so I was really hoping we'd have better luck this time! The nurse also joked that after drinking the sugar drink, maybe that would get the baby moving! Well, instead we got to see our stubborn little baby! It still had a hand up in front of the face, along with the cord. And then the little bugger kept moving it's face towards my back. So we unfortunately didn't get any pictures. This baby just really wants to surprise us when it arrives! :) 

They did check measurements again and it seems that this baby is growing at a fast rate! At the time of the appointment I was 28 weeks and 1 day along. The baby, however, was measuring at 29 weeks and 2 days! I've joked all along that I didn't want a real big baby, but it's not looking too good for me! :) The doctor said they'd keep an eye on the size though. We'll have another ultrasound closer to the due date to check for growth. 

Overall, things with the pregnancy have been going well. I haven't had any complications or any real problems, and for that we are very grateful. I am, of course, dealing with a variety of the "fun" symptoms that come along with pregnancy however. But I suppose it's all just part of the package! :) 

The baby has continued to be on the move inside of me! The movements have been getting a little bit harder but still pretty constant at times. I have to say, this is one of my favorite things about being pregnant. Now, I won't say that if the baby is kicking away at me and I'm trying to sleep, but for the most part, I love it. :) It's still crazy to think a little baby is growing in there but the movements make it so real. I've actually gotten sad thinking about once the baby is born, I won't have those movements inside of me anymore! I will, of course, have the little baby to hold in my arms though! 

It's hard to believe but I'm now in my third trimester! Last leg of the race, I guess! We're now going in to the doctor every two weeks. We start our baby classes next week and soon we'll have to start getting things ready like our birth plan and packing a hospital bag! June is going to be here before we know it! I was just telling Austin the other day that it feels like this pregnancy has just flown by. But if you were to talk to me during that first trimester when I was feeling sick every day, I would have told you it could hurry up! Now I think it could slow down a little! :) 

Just another Baby Appointment

We had another baby appointment with the doctor earlier this week. This was a pretty quick and easy check up. Weight check, blood pressure, etc. We also got to listen the baby's heartbeat again! Still a strong heartbeat in the 150's! So everything checked out great.

We go back at the end of March for our 3-D ultrasound. They'll be doing some checking for any problems but this is also a great time for us to get some face shots of our little baby! :) Then at the beginning of April, it's back again for my 28th week appointment where I get to drink a "yummy" sugar drink to test my glucose levels. I can't wait for that... ha! And then, surprisingly enough, we're back at the doctor every two weeks! 

I'm at week 22 right now so we've officially passed the halfway point! And it's all going to be a downhill slide from this point out I think! And June will be here before we know it! 

This past weekend, Austin and I headed to Target to start a baby registry. This wasn't as much fun as I was expecting it to be and maybe I was just over-thinking everything. There were so many choices and options that I felt overwhelmed at times! Austin kept telling me that people will buy what they know works and not to worry. He's probably right... And then there just wasn't a huge gender neutral selection. A lot of things they did have for gender neutral were out of stock so we couldn't add them to the registry at the store, we'll have to go online to do it. Just a little frustrating, but not enough to change our minds on finding out the sex of the baby! :) But it was nice to have that task done. 

In other non-baby updates... We went to Minnesota this past weekend to spend some time with my family. I also went to a bridal shower for a very good friend of mine and it was great to see her as well. I've been busy at work trying to schedule high school visits and soon I'll be traveling quite a bit for my spring travels. Austin is of course keeping very busy with solo/ensemble contest coming up and has been spending many late nights working on a variety of things - which never pleases me when all I want to do is cuddle! :) 

Otherwise I think that's about it for us right now! Thanks for reading! 

Baby Appointment #4

On Tuesday, we had our fourth baby appointment with the doctor! And as with every other appointment we've had so far, this one was great! 

This appointment was actually our anatomy scan. This is where they really check everything on the baby out and make sure everything is growing and measuring correctly. There are two doctors in our office and these more in-depth scans are done by Dr. Marshall, the other doctor. So this was our first time working with him. Luckily he was great to work with and really explained everything that he was seeing to us really well. 

Before the scan, however I have to get my weight checked, blood pressure checked, etc. So after my last appointment, if you remember, I was told to start eating more desserts and start gaining some of that weight back. Well I've been trying, let me tell you! I'm probably the only woman in the world who gets on the scale every day praying to have gained weight! Ha! My appetite is slowly growing and I'm actually able to eat more food every time I do eat. And Austin is definitely helping with trying to "fatten me up" by giving me food all the time! :) So when I stepped on the scale at the doctor's office I had to ask - did I gain any of that weight back? The nurse said, some... almost two pounds. In four weeks I had only gained almost two pounds? Agh! I guess I just need to keep on eating! :) 

So back to the scan! All of Baby Z's physical measurements are right on track! Meaning, head, waist, etc. As of Tuesday and along with my due date, I was at 18 weeks and two days. The baby was actually measuring just ahead of that at 18 weeks and five days. So not a huge difference and it doesn't change our due date either. And while I'm sure this is a good thing, I don't want that baby to get too big in there! It can grow once it's out! :) 

Next the doctor checked vital organs. I have no idea how long you must have to study in order to understand what you're seeing on those screens, but he was great at explaining it all to us. First we looked at the baby's brain. Everything was in order, where it needed to be and everything accounted for. He looked at the spine and told us no problems, so no spina bifida. He was able to tell us the top lip looked great so no cleft lip. We saw the bones in the legs, which also were good, no clubbing or anything like that. He looked at the stomach, the liver and the kidneys and again, all perfect. And finally the heart. This was pretty cool to see. He was able to show us all four chambers, the heart was pointing in the right direction, all the values were there and the blood was flowing correctly in and out. The best part, he was able to tell us that he could rule out 95% of heart defects based on what he was seeing! Awesome! 

Again, the baby had a strong heartbeat, which we got to hear. It was right at 154 - but he told us to pay no attention to the old wive's tale about whether it's a boy or a girl based on the heart rate. So don't try to start making guesses! :) We are waiting to find out the sex of the baby so he made sure we couldn't see anything we didn't want to see. He did warn us at the beginning too that even if we think we see something, it probably isn't what we think. :) 

Showing us Baby Z's strong heartbeat :) 

The doctor was also able to switch over the 3-D scan for a little bit and showed us our little one's face! And although it maybe look a little creepy, it was pretty neat to see. :) That little baby is really taking shape!

This is the second picture we have with our baby in that "thinking pose"! It must be a pretty smart baby! :) Again, during the scan, our baby was moving around. I think it's always on the move! And it was even moving the hand around - almost like it was waving to us! :) I have begun to feel these little flutters in my stomach and at first I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was the baby or not. But it's happening more and more so I'm pretty certain its our little one. It's a pretty awesome feeling. I'm really excited for when the movements become more defined and Austin can feel them as well! 

My stomach is definitely starting to grow but it doesn't quite look like a defined baby bump yet - hopefully soon! :) But I can really feel it starting to firm up! And while this is definitely exciting, it is making it a little more difficult to sleep. And I can only imagine that it's probably going to get worse. :) 

We go back to the doctor again in four weeks for a regular check up and then another four weeks after that, we get to go back in for some more of the 3-D scans! We look forward to sharing more with you then! :) 

My Amazing Husband and Soon-to-be Dad :)

World's Best Dad

With all the updating I was doing in the last blog post, I completely forgot to brag up my amazing husband! :) He has been nothing short of perfect throughout this pregnancy! Let me tell you why... 

First off, the shirt in the picture is a shirt I gave him on the night we found out we were pregnant. I bought it awhile ago and wanted to give it to him when we found out the big news. I thought it was only fitting for the world's best music teacher! ;-) I know, without a doubt, that Austin is really going to be the 'World's Best Dad' when our little one arrives. 

As I mentioned in the last post, those first few weeks were really hard on me - being extremely exhausted and constantly sick all day, every day. And I could not have asked for a more supportive husband. At first, Austin said he was even going to sit with me on the bathroom floor whenever I was sick... but after a couple rounds of that, I think it got to be too much for him. :) I don't blame him - it was too much for me as well! 

But Austin would do everything I asked and even things I didn't have to ask for! He was always bringing me fresh water bottles or glasses of juice to drink. Whenever something sounded even the little bit appealing to eat, he would run out to the store to get it for me if we didn't have it - no matter the time of day! He put up with making me all kinds of food and then taking it away after I could only manage a bit or two. 

As I was pretty much always in bed or in the bathroom, Austin kept up with all the housework. He would do all the cooking and cleaning - most times without me even nagging him to do so, because I was just too sick and tired to even care! :) He let me sleep and rest as much as I wanted and needed in those weeks, which couldn't have been fun for him because I was not good company! 

He would research ways to help with morning sickness and went out and bought me some meds to try. And when those didn't work and the morning sickness wasn't getting any better, it was Austin who convinced me to finally call the doctor and get a prescription to help. And he always gave me back rubs whenever I asked. :) 

He's been to all of our doctor's appointments, always asking questions or reminding me of questions I had. And he even knows how to distract me when I have to get my blood drawn. He reads daily updates about what's happening throughout the pregnancy and tips for how he can help along the way. He's also already started some research on different baby products and doesn't mind talking about the different things we're going to need to register for. And he's working on bonding with the baby already. The only thing he needs to really do now is pick up his guitar and start learning some lullaby's to sing to our baby! :)

There is no one else I would rather have by my side and I know he is going to be my rock throughout the rest of my pregnancy and during labor. I am truly blessed to have such an amazing husband. And I can't wait to see him in action as the World's Best Dad. :) 

Little Baby Z :)

I know it's been a long time since I've updated, but shortly after my last post, I started traveling for work and then we found out we were pregnant! :) So I thought I'd take the time now, since we've recently shared the news with everyone, to update you on our life and the pregnancy. 

So the fall travel season started out normal and I was busy visiting high schools and college fairs. It was the week of October 22nd and I was up in Minnesota for some college fairs. As the week went on, I started feeling sick but really didn't think much of it - I thought I had just picked something up from the road or one of the many high schools I had visited. I wasn't feeling any better and when I went into work on Friday for our Open House I think I made it until about 8:30am before I had to give up and go home because I was so sick. I spent the rest of the day sleeping. That night, it was actually Austin that suggested I take a pregnancy test because it's rare that I get sick for that long. I told him I would take one but I wasn't going to look at the results - he would have to do that. Because in all honesty, we had been trying for a while and I was getting tired of being disappointed by the negative test results. He agreed, so I took the test and left it in the bathroom for him to look at and went back to bed. Three minutes later, Austin came out of the bathroom and said, you might want to look at this. It was positive! :) Even though we had been trying, it was still a bit of a shock to see! But Austin and I were both so excited! 

We both agreed we weren't going to tell anyone right away until after seeing the doctor and such. But the next day, we were suppose to go to Des Moines to help Matt and Amber move into a new apartment. Looking back, I probably should have just sent Austin and stayed home because really I was of no help. When we got there, we told the family I had picked something up on the road and wasn't feeling good. Austin's mom asked (somewhat jokingly) "Are you pregnant?" I laughed it off and said no, that would be much more fun being sick if I was! However, I would soon learn that those words held no truth for me... 

The first thing we did after finding out was to find a new doctor. The doctor we had been seeing was only a family doctor and didn't do deliveries. When I called to ask for a recommendation, the doctor's office really wasn't a lot of help. So I just searched the internet, found an OB-GYN doctor and made an appointment. Well luck was on our side because we absolutely love our doctor. She recently had a baby herself so knows exactly what I'm going through, she explains everything clearly to us, answers all of our questions and is just generally really nice. :) We had our first doctor appointment early November, when I was about 7 weeks along. I really wasn't expecting much from the appointment, mostly just to confirm I was pregnant. So it was a pleasant surprise when we were told we'd get to have an ultrasound! It's true, the little bean didn't look like much, but we could see the flickering of the heart. That made it all very real - to both of us!

7 weeks

After that appointment, we decided we would tell our immediate families at Thanksgiving our wonderful news. We first had Thanksgiving with Austin's family the week before Thanksgiving. For both sets of parents, we bought frames that on one side had a poem about a Little Grandbaby and on the other side we could put an ultrasound picture. We had Austin's mom open up the present and when she realized what it was, there were tears in her eyes. :) The excitement was there in everyone that we were expecting! It was also fun because Amber and Matt were expecting a little one (who would come a week later!!) and so we were happy that our babies would be so close in age and have someone to play with growing up. 
Next it was time to tell my family. We went up to Minnesota the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and by the time we got there, it was fairly late. But everyone was still up and enjoying some drinks and appetizers so we joined in! My dad offered me a glass of wine and so to not give anything away, I accepted but didn't drink any. We actually had another present for my parents that night. In October, they celebrated 30 years of marriage! So Meg, Dan and I put together a photo book of pictures throughout the thirty years and in the back we had messages from family and friends. This was the first time we were all together so we had them open the book first. I think they were pretty amazed by it and impressed at all the work it took. Especially when they got to the messages in the back. My mom made a comment that we'd never be able to top a present like this again! (Little did she know...) After they looked through the book I said that Austin and I had another present for their anniversary and my sister joked about how we were showing them up. My dad was the one to open our present and once he opened it, he looked down at it, looked at us, looked down at the picture again and then up at us and said, "You're going to make me a Grandpa?" And when we said he, he (literally) jumped out of his chair and my mom started crying. I'd say it was a pretty good response. :) Again, everyone was very excited. 

So both sets of parents are very excited to be grandparents, or grandparents again. And in some cases, I would even say they are more excited than Austin and I! As my mom put it, "I think we're more excited for this baby than we were our own because this time we're not scared to death!" :) Point well made, Mom. 

Again, we decided that we wanted to wait until Christmas before telling extended family and that was pretty hard for both sets of parents. :) It was also hard for us! Especially at Thanksgiving with my dad's whole side of the family asking us when we were going to have kids, telling us we need to hurry up and making sure we had an announcement to tell everyone by the time Christmas came around. :) But we managed to make it through without anyone spilling the beans. 

At the beginning of December, we had our second doctor's appointment and again had another ultrasound. This time the baby looked a little bit more like a baby and was even moving around for us. It was pretty cute though - and the doctor agreed - because the little one had it's feet up in the air and ankles crossed. It was definitely just hanging out. :) This time we were also able to hear the heartbeat and that was a magical sound. Again, just reaffirming that this is really happening! 

11 weeks - with ankles crossed in the air :)

11 weeks - just hanging out 

Even though we had seen the baby a couple times and were able to share our excitement with family, this pregnancy was not going easy on me. From six weeks and on, I had horrible morning sickness. And it was not just in the morning, it was an all day battle. I was having a really hard time keeping most foods down and even on some really bad days, even drinking water was difficult. On top of this, I was still struggling to finish all of my high school visits. I was also constantly exhausted. Luckily, my job is pretty flexible and with comp time that I had from traveling, I was able to take days off when I needed it without using up all my sick days. Finally, when Austin was just as sick of me being sick as I probably was, he urged me to call the doctor and see what they could do. I had already tried some over the counter medicine but it wasn't helping. So I got a prescription to help with the nausea and was finally able to eat some food. It didn't make the morning sickness go away completely, but I was able to eat a little bit more. The every day morning sickness though lasted until about week 13 before it finally eased up and by that time I had lost about 20lbs. Luckily though, I was feeling much better as we headed into the holidays at home and was finally able to really eat some "real food" and all my Christmas favorites! :) Although I can tell my stomach has definitely shrunk because I can't eat very much before I get really full but at least I'm able to eat and have an appetite again! And at our most recent doctor's appointment, I was told it was okay to hit the desserts to start putting some of that weight back on. Not something you hear very often from a doctor! :) 

Over the Christmas break, we were able to see most of our extended families (on both sides) and some friends and share our wonderful news with all of them. It was a lot of fun telling everyone each time we did and then answering questions and sharing stories. One of my favorite stories though is probably when we told my Grandparents on my mom's side. We skyped with them on Christmas morning and my dad actually recorded the video of us telling them. I'll share that video with you all when I can. :) 

Our last doctor's appointment was on December 31st and this was just a quick one to hear the baby's heartbeat. It was a strong heartbeat in the 140's but the doctor was laughing because the little nut kept moving around! It looks like the baby already had Daddy's crazy energy! :) It really was the perfect way to end the year. 

And now we're into 2013. Our due date is June 23rd and crazy enough, both Grandpa's also have birthdays in June! So I'd say it's a pretty good month! I'd also say that God's timing is pretty awesome because Austin will be done with school when the baby comes and will be able to be home with me and the baby all summer! Not only will I appreciate all the extra help, I'm sure, but it will be a great family bonding time! Our next appointment is January 22nd and we'll have our anatomy scan then to check and make sure everything is growing the way it should. We have also decided to wait and not find out the sex of the baby until he or she makes an appearance in June. :) 

So life has been great. Things have been busy. And big changes are about to come. Austin and I are making sure we enjoy our lazy weekends of doing nothing and sleeping in as much as possible now before the little one arrives! :) But otherwise, it's life as normal. Austin is entering his busy time of year as he prepares students for solo/group ensemble contest and then large group contest after that. And soon I'll start traveling again with high school visits and college fairs. I'm sure the next six months are going to go by a lot faster than we hope! But I'll try to keep things updated on this blog on how everything is going with our growing family. Thank you all for your support and excitement for our little blessing. We are definitely looking forward to this next chapter in our lives!