Ha!
Life comes at you fast. One moment, it's the middle of fall and I'm working two jobs and the next moment, it's 2020 and I have a completely new job! So let's recap, shall we?
My last update was in August. So we'll pick up there.
We of course got another State Fair trip in. You just can't finish summer without going to the State Fair! The food!! :) It was a bit rainy, but overall a great day.
Jacob is loving Kindergarten. He has an amazing and supportive teacher and is really thriving. The year started a bit rough, with Jacob having some of the same issues he did the year before on concentrating and staying on task. We decided to start up the daily check in/check out charts that he did in Knights Plus. These have 100% helped keep Jacob focused. It solved the behavioral problems we were having and really keeps Jacob on task. He is bringing home 100% on his charts pretty much every day. I'm very proud of him.
When it comes to reading and math, Jacob is rocking it as well. His teacher told me at conferences last fall that Jacob is in the advanced reading group, often getting future sight words ahead of time so that he stays challenged. It's so much fun listening to him read books to us. He also loves math and is probably more advanced here too, mostly because we tend to make Jacob do more math at home and create our own problems for him. He is a smart cookie. It's also fun to see the different art projects he brings home and how his talent is evolving - and his imagination!
In September and October I once again took on a part time job at Fun.com. I was hoping to use the extra cash this year for Christmas shopping and such, but ended up spending most of it on unexpected dental work I had to get done. Super fun. It was another crazy season and I've promised my family that it was my last season at Fun.com. I've told everyone to hold me to this next fall! :)
We did manage to get some fall fun adventures in though! We spent a day at the Center Creek Orchard, which was a lot of fun for everyone there, except my Dad. We also got a trip into the Minnesota Zoo before school started. We went to the Children's Museum's Dig It Event, where Jacob got to climb, ride and even help drive some large equipment. It was so fun to watch him explore and play. His Aunt Megan came for a visit in October as well and did some fun science experiments, visited the local history museum and spent some time outdoors. Jacob really enjoys his visits with Aunt Meg!
For Halloween, Jacob was spoiled with two costumes (Thank you, Fun.com employee discount!). He was a red devil for his school party and then for trick or treating, a very scary angler fish! That costume was a hit and even won Jacob the Most Creative Costume prize at the Rec Center party!
Jacob and I had a weekend adventure in November, full of fun! We started on Friday night at the Razzle Dazzle Light Parade in Madelia, a reading festival and some time at the Pepsi Rec Room at the YMCA on Saturday morning. We saw some huge dinosaurs at Jurassic Quest that afternoon and ended the day seeing Frozen II. On Sunday, we hit up the Mall of America and explored the Crayola Experience. It was such a fun time of making memories!
Jacob also lost his first tooth in November!! On a Friday night he said, "Mommy, guess what!? I have a loose tooth!" and on Monday, I got a picture from school - Jacob had lost that tooth! He was super excited for his first visit from the tooth fairy and even slept in his own bed that night! (Woot!) He's growing up quickly.
The holidays and December weren't anything special. We were fortunate to spend time with family, both in Iowa and Minnesota. And that's truly what matters most. I did make one change this year and decided not to sing at the Christmas Eve services at CTK. My mom had made a comment that Jacob should spend Christmas Eve in Iowa because the rest of us spend the entire day at church and that's not fun for a little boy, and that he needs some sort of tradition. And it stuck with me, only I didn't want to spend Christmas Eve without Jacob! So we created a new tradition! On Christmas Eve, we celebrate Grinchmas! We went to church and spent the day hanging out in Whoville, watching the different Grinch movies and having ourselves a Grinchmas Feast!
And to start off the new year, we took a family vacation to Hawaii to celebrate my mom's birthday! We spent the week on Maui, exploring, going on different tours and spending plenty of time at the beach. It was a much more relaxing vacation that our last family trip (Disney World) and I think everyone agreed they'd visit Hawaii again. In fact, Jacob already wants me to start planning our next trip there. For next week. ;-)
Now January has come and gone as well, but the year is off to a good start. Work, school and all is going well. Jacob has started swimming lessons at the Y and he goes to those on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I'm not sure if it was because we had just gotten back from vacation and spending so much time in the water, but Jacob is really thriving at lessons. He's dunking his head in, jumping in and really starting to get the hang of swimming. It's been a blast to watch.
And in other news....
Also in November, I stayed true to my "two years per job" tradition and started as the Graphic Design and Marketing Director at the Mankato YMCA. To say I was excited for this new adventure is an understatement.
I am so grateful and appreciative of my time at Eide Bailly. I worked with an incredible team, made some great friends and learned a lot. And looking back on my time with Eide Bailly, it was absolutely the job I needed at that point in my life. It was a secure job that paid well and had great benefits. But it was also a job where I wasn't the one in charge. I didn't have to make the big decisions, I did what I was told. And this is exactly what I needed in this time of my life with so much else going on. Some days it took everything I had to focus on work. During this time when everything else was falling apart, taking all of my energy and focus, I needed a job that I could come into every day and be told what to do from 8-5 and not leave at 5 still thinking about work. Eide Bailly gave me that.
As time went on, I would be asked what I thought my future looked like. Asked how I wanted to grow in my career, what my next move was going to be. And I honestly didn't have an answer. I felt stuck, unsure where to go next. Yet I started to want more, I just didn't know what that was.
One day I saw a Facebook posting for a job at the YMCA. Graphic Design and Marketing Director. And it was like this fire was ignited inside of me. I read through the job description multiple times. I couldn't help but think this is the perfect opportunity. I applied and received a call about an interview the very next day. I interviewed, I thought it went great, I became even more excited for this prospect. But then I didn't hear anything. And I realized just how much I wanted this job, because of how disappointed I was thinking I didn't get it. Luckily, that wasn't the ending. I did get a call again and was offered the job. I accepted.
I started in early November and I can honestly say that I love this job. Not a day goes by where I doubt my decision to be here. Each day is crazy busy, full of variety, and allows me to be creative in ways I haven't been in years. It's overwhelming and challenging all in a good way. In the short time I've been here, I've been pushed professionally, helping me grow and be better. And when I say that my To Do List is never-ending, I am not exaggerating!
I love being back at a nonprofit. I love feeling like I'm making a difference. I love being able to see my work come together and make something. I love the team of people that I get to work with every day. I love their passion and their enthusiasm. I also love their support of me in my position.
Showing posts with label Iowa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Iowa. Show all posts
Saturday, February 1, 2020
Monday, August 19, 2019
A long overdue 2019 update...
This year has not been good for my blogging skills and I'm long overdue an update to 2019. But it was recently pointed out to me that often the second year after a loved one's death is harder than the first. That first year, you're in shock, you're in survival mode. But the second year, that's when you really start to process your feelings of loss, your grief. And that can have an impact on daily activity or function.
At the start of 2019, I chose FOCUS as my Word of the Year. But I've got to tell you, I have not been focused this year. I have struggled staying focused - in so many ways. I started the year strong, with clear goals in mind of what I wanted to accomplish. But many quickly became goals I just couldn't grasp. There have been many days when nothing in particular has been wrong, but I've just felt off. I think this is an effect of my grief.
While the year has definitely not gone the way I wanted to, it has still been busy. I'll do my best to recap the past 7 and half months.
I started the year getting a few things organized for Jacob and I. I created a schedule that hangs in Jacob's room that we can put up of all the day's activities. Jacob likes to know what's going on. Jacob was busy with Rainbow Room at church and swimming lessons at the Rec Center. I had joined Minnesota Valley Chorale again this season and choir practices started up quickly. We also spent one very cold Saturday exploring the St. Paul Winter Carnival and an Ice Castle! I have to admit, the ice castle was really cool!! ;-) We also froze bubbles outside in the -20 degrees weather!
In February I got to participate in Pedal Past Poverty, as part of my mom's church group from Messiah. Jacob was there to cheer us all on - myself, Nana and Papa.
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| Pedal Past Poverty |
March started a busy church season of Lent but we manged some fun in there too. Jacob and I got a trip down to Iowa in right away and it was so much fun to watch Jacob play with his cousins. Brandon and I went with some friends to the Four Daughters Winery for a dueling piano event where we have a table right in front - so fun. We also went to Rochester to see my very good friend in her local theater's performance of Avenue Q! She, of course, was amazing! And the show so funny! Although, it had been years since I last saw the show and you can tell it was written in a slightly different time.
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| Great Wolf Lodge |
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| Marshmallow Pit |
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| Candytopia |
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| Sips for Shelter |
Also in April, I made my final payment of student loans!!! YAY!!!!
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| MCC Concert |
In May things started to slow down, choir-wise. I decided to sing in the Alumni Choir of the Mankato Children's Choir with a good friend. We both grew up singing in MCC and thought it would be fun to do the alumni choir as part of the 25th Anniversary concert - and it was! It was great to see some familiar faces and old directors! While the Minnesota Valley Chorale had our two concerts in April, we were still practicing. We had been invited to sing with the Mankato Symphony Orchestra. They were doing Handel's Messiah. This was my first time ever singing with an orchestra and singing so much of the Messiah. But it was such an amazing experience, I'm glad I did it.
The last few months of school were somewhat challenging for Jacob. While he's a smart kid, he was having trouble staying focused. Sounds like the beginning of this post! He wasn't listening like he should, would rather walk around by myself than do his school work or listen at story time. He was using some "potty words", trying to get the other kids to laugh and distracting the class as a whole. We tried a couple of different things and we talked through it with Jacob's therapist. (He regularly sees a therapist and has been since the start of 2018.) Finally, we found a system that seems to connect with him. Jacob would have daily sheets sent home that would tell us how he did for each party of the day. He would get a smiley face, an OK face or a sad face. His points would get added up and he had a goal he tried to meet each day. There were rewards both at school and at home when he met certain goals. By the end of the school year, Jacob seemed to be on track and doing what he needed to be doing. I was extremely proud of the progress he made and thankful for the teachers that helped us at school.
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| Champagne Bar |
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| Chicago |
Jacob meanwhile, spent a few days in Chicago with my parents and had a blast. He really enjoyed going to the top of the tallest building and standing out in that glass cube. I admire his bravery!
And then it was summer! Ah the start of summer. When the weather gets better, the days get long, you have a ton of fun plans and then you only manage to do a fraction of them..
I did get to spend a weekend in Rochester catching up with two very amazing friends. We went and saw the super funny movie "Booksmart" and spent the weekend catching up and talking about life. We managed to get to the Air Spectacular event as well and saw some really awesome airplanes doing some amazing tricks. We also went to the Lake Days parade in Lake Crystal and enjoyed the marching bands. We found a new seating spot this year, right at the beginning and I'm pretty sure it's our new favorite spot. We ended the month in Iowa, celebrating Jacob's birthday with family.
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| Cousins! |
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| Girls Weekend |
At work, we had a Office Family Outing at the Mankato Moondogs game at the end of the month. It was a fun afternoon of food, drinks and baseball! Then, I ended the month up in Fargo, at our headquarters for our annual marketing meeting. This was the second time I've been to Fargo for a marketing meeting and the second time I did not manage to get a visit to Dan and Josh in! There's always next year.
And finally, August. We spent one Thursday exploring a new park up in Jordan with some friends and had a great time. The park had a great playground, a splash pad and a little beach! We would definitely go back. Then Jacob and I went to Iowa to take part in the 2nd Annual Focus Up on Mental Health 5K, which is organized by Austin's sister, in his memory. It was a very successful event and a great weekend to spend with family. But our weekends down there are never long enough and Jacob did not want to leave that Sunday.
Just last week, Jacob had Camp MidKnight at school. This is where they invite all the incoming kindergartners to come experience what a typical school day will be like once school starts. It's so amazing because they have not only the Kindergartner teachers there, but also many of the preschool teachers. They have practically the whole school to themselves, get lunch and meet new friends. Jacob had a really fun time, saw some friends from Knights Plus and made some new friends. While he's excited to finish out his summer vacation, I think he's also really excited to start school again.
I also had the chance to attend my 15 year High School Reunion last week!!! What?! Yes, 15 years. We all kind of missed the ball on this and so the event was thrown together last minute. But we still managed a good showing and it was fun to see old friends and classmates that I haven't seen since probably our 10 year reunion! :)
Jacob and I have spent the last 10 days fending for ourselves while Nana and Papa are enjoying a trip overseas! And I'm happy to report that we are surviving! And while it's nice to know we're capable of taking care of ourselves, we're also looking forward to the return of Nana and Papa. And if I'm not mistaken, I think they're glad we aren't taking this newfound freedom of living independently too seriously and that we'll probably stick with the basement a while longer. :)
So here's to the rest of summer vacation, my favorite season fall and then winter before we know it.
More pictures from the year:
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| Like I said, entirely too much snow |
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| Cousins! |
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| Kindergarten Roundup! |
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| Happy Easter! |
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| Air Spectacular |
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| Celebrating 150 Years at Our Saviour's Butternut |
Monday, November 20, 2017
Oh Deer.
Let me tell you a little story....
It was a Friday night, in November. It was dark, foggy and spitting rain. Interstate 35. I had just got done meeting Jacob's grandparents so Jacob could spend the weekend in Des Moines with the family.
I was cruising right along. Listening to my audiobook, anxious to get back to Mankato for a hockey game. I was driving in the right hand lane when suddenly, there was a deer. It looked like it was just walking across the road, but because of the fog, it appeared before me quickly.
I managed to hit my breaks and brace myself for impact. Is that what you're suppose to do? Brace yourself? Tense up? Anyway, that's what I did. I hit the deer full on. The impact caused my airbag to go off, which I remember only briefly brushing against my face. The car skidded and jerked to a stop but I had no idea where my car was - on the road? Near the ditch? I didn't think I had gone in the ditch.
Everything was dark and silent. I struggled to remember where my flashers were, finally grabbing my phone to light up the dash. I found the button but when I hit it, nothing happened. The entire car was dead. I had no lights, no nothing.
It was about then that I noticed all the lights in my rearview mirror. The lights of the fast oncoming cars, headed right at me. Headed right at me and unable to see me. Hitting the deer was no big deal. Sitting in a dead car with vehicles approaching from behind, unable to see me, terrifying. I thought for sure I was going to get hit. I was waiting for the impact.
I was literally talking out loud to myself. I was trying to call 911 on my phone but it wasn't working. (Side note: has anyone else had this problem trying to call 911 on a cell phone???) I kept asking myself if I should get out of the car or stay put. I was buckling and unbuckling my seat beat. I was telling myself a car was going to hit me. I was questioning why no cars seemed to be stopping to help me.
I opened the driver door, as much as I could from the impact anyway, when I finally saw a gentleman coming to me. He asked if I was alright, if anyone was else was in the car and told me I need to get out of the car right away. He ran me to the middle of the ditch. I was shaking. I couldn't catch my breath. I had thought for sure I was going to get hit by another car and couldn't even imagine what might have happened then.
Once I was out and away from the car, I could see where my car was. In the left hand lane. I was not near the side of the road. I was near the center of the interstate. I knew then it was a miracle that I wasn't hit from behind.
The two gentlemen started to direct traffic into the one lane the best they could with flashlights, while we waiting for highway patrol to come. I was still shaking. Walking in small paces around in the ditch, trying to slow my breathing. I noticed the hood of my car was peeled back and laying on my windshield. That was why I couldn't see where in the road I was, not because I didn't have my lights on.
Apparently, the accident had been reported as a three car accident and soon after highway patrol arrived, a firetruck pulled up. There was another on the way along with two ambulances. Luckily, they sent those back. The gentleman that came to my car later told me he was driving behind me and saw me hit the deer. He was able to swerve, driving in the ditch, to avoid hitting me, but clipped the deer. Once his truck stopped, he came back to help me.
I was taken to the firetruck for some questions and to get out of the rain. I declined any medical treatment. The firefighter told me that I had hit the deer in the area they called the Bermuda Triangle, because there are so many accidents that happen along this stretch of highway.
After a while, another firefighter came back to the truck to inform me that I had hit a 16 point deer. Well, at least I had something to be proud of.
I had called my parents as soon as I was out of the car. I told them roughly where I was and they said they would come to get me. And here's the thing. They had been in Rochester, my dad was getting a small procedure done. It was scheduled to take place Friday morning but had been delayed, causing my parents to remain in Rochester long after they wanted to. So when I called at 6pm to let them know I had hit a deer, they were only an hour away.
Finally, they got the road cleaned up of all the pieces of my car I had lost. They had loaded the deer up to take away (I later heard in the patrol car that someone was given permission to take it... I should have thought of that), and the tow truck came and loaded up my car. The officer was going to drop me off at the Welcome Center, where my parents were waiting for me. We drove to the tow place to clean out my car.
It was only then that I really got a good look at the damage. And it looked bad. We spent the next 20 minutes or so, trying to clean out my car by flashlight, unable to open the back door, all while I was on the phone filing my claim with Progressive and making sure they were covering this tow.
It was around 9pm by the time we got home. I decided I wasn't leaving the house and instead put on my PJs, took some Tylenol, got the heating pad and watched a movie. My weekend plans to relax, do nothing and worry about nothing were pretty much gone. While I did get some relaxing in, I'm also dealing and waiting on the insurance claim, waiting to hear that my car is indeed totaled, waiting for them to tell me they have no money to give me after paying the car off, and starting the annoying search for another car. I am mourning the fact that I haven't even had that car for a full year...
However. I am thankful. I am incredibly blessed. I am so so so thankful Jacob was not in the car with me. Every time I think about hitting the deer, I thank God Jacob was not there. I thank God that I was not hit by another car. I thank God that I was not hurt. I thank God that no one was hurt. I thank God my parents were close by. I thank God for watching over me. Because he was obviously doing just that. God is good.
It was a Friday night, in November. It was dark, foggy and spitting rain. Interstate 35. I had just got done meeting Jacob's grandparents so Jacob could spend the weekend in Des Moines with the family.
I was cruising right along. Listening to my audiobook, anxious to get back to Mankato for a hockey game. I was driving in the right hand lane when suddenly, there was a deer. It looked like it was just walking across the road, but because of the fog, it appeared before me quickly.
I managed to hit my breaks and brace myself for impact. Is that what you're suppose to do? Brace yourself? Tense up? Anyway, that's what I did. I hit the deer full on. The impact caused my airbag to go off, which I remember only briefly brushing against my face. The car skidded and jerked to a stop but I had no idea where my car was - on the road? Near the ditch? I didn't think I had gone in the ditch.
Everything was dark and silent. I struggled to remember where my flashers were, finally grabbing my phone to light up the dash. I found the button but when I hit it, nothing happened. The entire car was dead. I had no lights, no nothing.
It was about then that I noticed all the lights in my rearview mirror. The lights of the fast oncoming cars, headed right at me. Headed right at me and unable to see me. Hitting the deer was no big deal. Sitting in a dead car with vehicles approaching from behind, unable to see me, terrifying. I thought for sure I was going to get hit. I was waiting for the impact.
I was literally talking out loud to myself. I was trying to call 911 on my phone but it wasn't working. (Side note: has anyone else had this problem trying to call 911 on a cell phone???) I kept asking myself if I should get out of the car or stay put. I was buckling and unbuckling my seat beat. I was telling myself a car was going to hit me. I was questioning why no cars seemed to be stopping to help me.
I opened the driver door, as much as I could from the impact anyway, when I finally saw a gentleman coming to me. He asked if I was alright, if anyone was else was in the car and told me I need to get out of the car right away. He ran me to the middle of the ditch. I was shaking. I couldn't catch my breath. I had thought for sure I was going to get hit by another car and couldn't even imagine what might have happened then.
Once I was out and away from the car, I could see where my car was. In the left hand lane. I was not near the side of the road. I was near the center of the interstate. I knew then it was a miracle that I wasn't hit from behind.
The two gentlemen started to direct traffic into the one lane the best they could with flashlights, while we waiting for highway patrol to come. I was still shaking. Walking in small paces around in the ditch, trying to slow my breathing. I noticed the hood of my car was peeled back and laying on my windshield. That was why I couldn't see where in the road I was, not because I didn't have my lights on.
Apparently, the accident had been reported as a three car accident and soon after highway patrol arrived, a firetruck pulled up. There was another on the way along with two ambulances. Luckily, they sent those back. The gentleman that came to my car later told me he was driving behind me and saw me hit the deer. He was able to swerve, driving in the ditch, to avoid hitting me, but clipped the deer. Once his truck stopped, he came back to help me.
I was taken to the firetruck for some questions and to get out of the rain. I declined any medical treatment. The firefighter told me that I had hit the deer in the area they called the Bermuda Triangle, because there are so many accidents that happen along this stretch of highway.
After a while, another firefighter came back to the truck to inform me that I had hit a 16 point deer. Well, at least I had something to be proud of.
I had called my parents as soon as I was out of the car. I told them roughly where I was and they said they would come to get me. And here's the thing. They had been in Rochester, my dad was getting a small procedure done. It was scheduled to take place Friday morning but had been delayed, causing my parents to remain in Rochester long after they wanted to. So when I called at 6pm to let them know I had hit a deer, they were only an hour away.
Finally, they got the road cleaned up of all the pieces of my car I had lost. They had loaded the deer up to take away (I later heard in the patrol car that someone was given permission to take it... I should have thought of that), and the tow truck came and loaded up my car. The officer was going to drop me off at the Welcome Center, where my parents were waiting for me. We drove to the tow place to clean out my car.
It was only then that I really got a good look at the damage. And it looked bad. We spent the next 20 minutes or so, trying to clean out my car by flashlight, unable to open the back door, all while I was on the phone filing my claim with Progressive and making sure they were covering this tow.
It was around 9pm by the time we got home. I decided I wasn't leaving the house and instead put on my PJs, took some Tylenol, got the heating pad and watched a movie. My weekend plans to relax, do nothing and worry about nothing were pretty much gone. While I did get some relaxing in, I'm also dealing and waiting on the insurance claim, waiting to hear that my car is indeed totaled, waiting for them to tell me they have no money to give me after paying the car off, and starting the annoying search for another car. I am mourning the fact that I haven't even had that car for a full year...
However. I am thankful. I am incredibly blessed. I am so so so thankful Jacob was not in the car with me. Every time I think about hitting the deer, I thank God Jacob was not there. I thank God that I was not hit by another car. I thank God that I was not hurt. I thank God that no one was hurt. I thank God my parents were close by. I thank God for watching over me. Because he was obviously doing just that. God is good.
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| My first view of the car |
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| This is where my car ended up |
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| Coming off the tow truck |
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| My airbag went off |
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| Unbelievable |
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| My poor car... |
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
A recap of Spring
Life continues to move at fast pace around here. I can't believe tomorrow is already June. I can't believe my little man is going to four soon!!
Work has been crazy. We've been trying to fill some positions for a while and that always keeps things interesting - especially when you work at a small nonprofit. The work never stops. We finished our first ever Hats, Horses & Hope fundraiser. The weather was beautiful and overall, the day was a success. We definitely learned a lot and know what changes we'd make in the future. We also made some money! Which is always helpful when doing a fundraising event. We also found out our Executive Director is leaving for another job. This has been hard to process. We have a great team, a great energy and a lot of passion. In the close to 2 years that I've been with PAH, our executive director has been a major point in all of that. While I'm happy for her new job opportunity, I am also incredibly sad. And while I had hoped the summer would slow down a little, it now appears that I'll be helping get our new executive director started. Like I said, the work never stops. :)
Personally, life has been.... _____. Who knows. Fill in the blank. AJ and I have struggled (I have struggled) some in defining what our relationship looks like now with the divorce. I'm still working through this. I still love him and I still care about him and I still want to support him, but I can't do that as his wife anymore. I'm not sure how to do this yet.
AJ was recently asked to leave the halfway house he was completing treatment at. This is his story to tell but he found himself without a place to live. Since being at the halfway house, he hasn't been able to come over and visit much and spend much time with Jacob. Most of the time we would see him would be quick visits and almost never at the house. Well the night AJ found himself without a place to live, he came over, played with Jacob and helped put him to bed. That night, I didn't think about sharing anything about what was happening with Jacob. I should have.
The next morning, he woke up calling for his daddy. When I told him that daddy had to leave last night and was no longer there, Jacob told me "I want to play with daddy. I want to go visit daddy's house soon". Later on the car ride to daycare, Jacob asked me where daddy was, if he was at House of Hope. (We had told Jacob that daddy was living there while he was working on getting better, but nothing more specific). I told him I wasn't sure right now. Then Jacob asked, "Is daddy fixed yet?"
This broke my heart. It shattered my illusion that I had been successful at protecting Jacob from everything that's been happening. It caused me to question if I've been doing any of this right with Jacob. How much do you tell a three year old? How much detail do you go into? How do you tell him his parents aren't together anymore? I don't have the answers for any of these questions. But Jacob has not been oblivious.
AJ was able to go stay with his parents for awhile and has found a place to live, is looking for a job and to get back into an outpatient treatment program. But he's no longer in the area. And we have to figure out how to explain this to Jacob.
Luckily, Jacob was able to go spend some time in Iowa over the Memorial Day weekend with his daddy, cousin Evie and Nana and Papa Z. It sounds like they all had a blast and that Jacob and Evie played hard together! I also think that Jacob really enjoyed the time with just his daddy around - I know AJ did. :)
I spent the holiday weekend on my self-care. Indulging in some foods I've been trying to avoid in order to eat healthier, catching up on movies I've been wanting to see and TV shows that are impossible to watch with a toddler running around. :) I even got a massage on Saturday and it was wonderful heaven. On Sunday I got to see some cousins who I don't get to see nearly enough and then spent the evening/night in the Twin Cities with two girl friends who I also don't get to see nearly enough. It was a fantastic time to just escape everything for a while, have some fun, but also catch up and have some really great conversations with some really important people to me.
I think we're looking forward to summer around here and being able to enjoy the warmer weather and spend more time outdoors. Looking back on the past few weeks, Easter was good. We enjoyed having Uncle Dan and Josh and Aunt Megan down, Jacob went on an Easter egg hunt, found his Easter basket from the Easter Bunny and just enjoyed being the center of attention with everyone around. :) My Grandpa's service up at Fort Snelling and the funeral in Mankato were days filled with memories, love, laughter, tears and family. I felt very blessed for such an amazing family.
I also bought a new car! I finally decided it was time to upgrade and purchased a 2014 Honda CR-V. I'm really loving the extra space and will really enjoy the All-wheel drive this winter! Jacob is also a big fan. :)
Jacob sang really well with his Rainbow Room class for the end of the year. They sang "This little light is mine" and Jacob was front and center! :) However, within the next two days, we were at the doctor's office battling an ear infection. Jacob was not a fan of his medicine! But bribery works. Ha!!
Mother's Day was a great day. Jacob did a great job sitting through two church services while I sang. We enjoyed a nice meal with some family and spent the day just enjoying each other's company. :) I am so blessed to be Jacob's mother. He may push my buttons more often than not, but I wouldn't change him for the world! I love that kid.
Work has been crazy. We've been trying to fill some positions for a while and that always keeps things interesting - especially when you work at a small nonprofit. The work never stops. We finished our first ever Hats, Horses & Hope fundraiser. The weather was beautiful and overall, the day was a success. We definitely learned a lot and know what changes we'd make in the future. We also made some money! Which is always helpful when doing a fundraising event. We also found out our Executive Director is leaving for another job. This has been hard to process. We have a great team, a great energy and a lot of passion. In the close to 2 years that I've been with PAH, our executive director has been a major point in all of that. While I'm happy for her new job opportunity, I am also incredibly sad. And while I had hoped the summer would slow down a little, it now appears that I'll be helping get our new executive director started. Like I said, the work never stops. :)
Personally, life has been.... _____. Who knows. Fill in the blank. AJ and I have struggled (I have struggled) some in defining what our relationship looks like now with the divorce. I'm still working through this. I still love him and I still care about him and I still want to support him, but I can't do that as his wife anymore. I'm not sure how to do this yet.
AJ was recently asked to leave the halfway house he was completing treatment at. This is his story to tell but he found himself without a place to live. Since being at the halfway house, he hasn't been able to come over and visit much and spend much time with Jacob. Most of the time we would see him would be quick visits and almost never at the house. Well the night AJ found himself without a place to live, he came over, played with Jacob and helped put him to bed. That night, I didn't think about sharing anything about what was happening with Jacob. I should have.
The next morning, he woke up calling for his daddy. When I told him that daddy had to leave last night and was no longer there, Jacob told me "I want to play with daddy. I want to go visit daddy's house soon". Later on the car ride to daycare, Jacob asked me where daddy was, if he was at House of Hope. (We had told Jacob that daddy was living there while he was working on getting better, but nothing more specific). I told him I wasn't sure right now. Then Jacob asked, "Is daddy fixed yet?"
This broke my heart. It shattered my illusion that I had been successful at protecting Jacob from everything that's been happening. It caused me to question if I've been doing any of this right with Jacob. How much do you tell a three year old? How much detail do you go into? How do you tell him his parents aren't together anymore? I don't have the answers for any of these questions. But Jacob has not been oblivious.
AJ was able to go stay with his parents for awhile and has found a place to live, is looking for a job and to get back into an outpatient treatment program. But he's no longer in the area. And we have to figure out how to explain this to Jacob.
Luckily, Jacob was able to go spend some time in Iowa over the Memorial Day weekend with his daddy, cousin Evie and Nana and Papa Z. It sounds like they all had a blast and that Jacob and Evie played hard together! I also think that Jacob really enjoyed the time with just his daddy around - I know AJ did. :)
I spent the holiday weekend on my self-care. Indulging in some foods I've been trying to avoid in order to eat healthier, catching up on movies I've been wanting to see and TV shows that are impossible to watch with a toddler running around. :) I even got a massage on Saturday and it was wonderful heaven. On Sunday I got to see some cousins who I don't get to see nearly enough and then spent the evening/night in the Twin Cities with two girl friends who I also don't get to see nearly enough. It was a fantastic time to just escape everything for a while, have some fun, but also catch up and have some really great conversations with some really important people to me.
I think we're looking forward to summer around here and being able to enjoy the warmer weather and spend more time outdoors. Looking back on the past few weeks, Easter was good. We enjoyed having Uncle Dan and Josh and Aunt Megan down, Jacob went on an Easter egg hunt, found his Easter basket from the Easter Bunny and just enjoyed being the center of attention with everyone around. :) My Grandpa's service up at Fort Snelling and the funeral in Mankato were days filled with memories, love, laughter, tears and family. I felt very blessed for such an amazing family.
I also bought a new car! I finally decided it was time to upgrade and purchased a 2014 Honda CR-V. I'm really loving the extra space and will really enjoy the All-wheel drive this winter! Jacob is also a big fan. :)
Jacob sang really well with his Rainbow Room class for the end of the year. They sang "This little light is mine" and Jacob was front and center! :) However, within the next two days, we were at the doctor's office battling an ear infection. Jacob was not a fan of his medicine! But bribery works. Ha!!
Mother's Day was a great day. Jacob did a great job sitting through two church services while I sang. We enjoyed a nice meal with some family and spent the day just enjoying each other's company. :) I am so blessed to be Jacob's mother. He may push my buttons more often than not, but I wouldn't change him for the world! I love that kid.
Monday, March 20, 2017
The end of winter
One thing I hope to do better at this year is keeping up with my blogging. Even if it's just monthly recaps about our daily lives. I really enjoy being able to go back and have these to help remember what's going on.
February has come and gone and so has March pretty much. :)
Jacob really enjoyed his big boy swimming lessons (no parents in the pool). Surprisingly, he did much better listening to the teachers than he did when we were in the pool with him. :) Ha! You can really see how he's getting more and more comfortable in the water. He's picking up on the kicking and scooping and with the help of his frog floatie, he can really move himself around the pool. He even went down the big slide at the Rec Center a couple of times! Although, one time he might have gone more under water than he was used to and that spooked him a bit! But he graduating level 3 swimming and can move on to level 4!
Jacob also enjoyed his ECFE classes. Generally, he zones in on one particular toy (a truck or tractor) and won't do much exploring with all the other activities they have. But he started to expand on that this session. He really enjoyed the sensory bin, playing with play-doh and even some imaginative play in the kitchen! He really was quite adorable, telling us the pan was too hot and not to touch! :) He also did incredibly well when it came to circle time and singing along with the songs. Hearing him sing the "Hello" song - adorable.
Overall, Jacob has really started to do more singing which of course just warms our hearts! It's so fun to listen to him singing songs he makes up and songs that we've been singing to him. He is still a huge fan of Big Block Singsong but he also is really into Veggie Tales songs as well. And of course, many of the favorite nursery rhymes! He's still very much into dinosaurs and DinoTrux! And he has had a renewed love of reading! He is really enjoying the Pigeon books right now and we read them so much, he can pretty much read all of them back to us! It's pretty adorable when he just randomly starts quoting a book! We're really looking forward to the warmer weather to get back outside more often!
Jacob also got to spend a weekend in Iowa at the "Zuba farm" with his grandparents and cousin Evie. He was seriously counting down the days until he could go and once we picked him up, he talked for days about how much fun he had! :) And of course, he's already asking when he can go back!
I also have to take a moment to talk about this sweet kid Jacob. Even though he's only three and a half, the kid has a huge heart. He is the sweetest, most kind boy. And it melts my heart. Randomly he will come up to me and say "hug?" and then give me a great big hug and say "I love you so much". I don't know if he can sense when I need those hugs or just really is the sweetest boy, but it stops me in my tracks every time and I am reminded about how blessed I am to be this little boy's mother. Before swimming the other day, we were waiting for class to start and he just random says "I love you mommy. And I love my daddy!" Or when he slept all night in his own bed the other night and was telling him how proud I was of him the next morning and I said, "Give me a high five!" Jacob looked at me, thinking and said, "Or I give you a hug!" :) This weekend, he told Nana he needed to come give me a hug so that I feel better. And one day at daycare, he started crying for no reason and when Amber finally got an answer out of Jacob he said, "I miss my mommy". He still runs to me even if we've only been a part a little while, arms open and when I pick him up, he buries himself into a big hug. His little heart is so full of love. And I am so full of love for him.
For me, February was a little crazy. We had our fifth annual Pedal Past Poverty event at work on the 25th. And while this day and the prep before hand are crazy enough of themselves, we also had to deal with a "incoming blizzard" that make things even more hectic. We managed to get everything to the Y on Thursday night before the snow and got everything set up by Friday afternoon. By Saturday, the weather was cold - but otherwise perfect for the event. We had a successful event and raised just over $92K! I am constantly amazed by this community and how caring and giving they are.
I also did some more singing at church, singing with the praise band and agreeing to sing as one of the song leaders for the Holden Evening prayer for Lent. I even agreed to sing a solo at church the morning after Pedal Past Poverty. Probably not my best decision, but it went well. :)
Jacob and I have successfully switched bedrooms and all the moving and organizing is pretty much done. Just a couple more pieces of furniture to remove. I also got a new mattress!! And I have to say, it is a huge improvement from the waterbed! :) It's pretty much my new favorite place! haha!
Austin and I both signed our copies of the divorce papers as well. This was a hard day and made everything much more real. I am definitely mourning the lost of my marriage and I'm not sure how to handle that.
We also visited my Grandpa R. who's been in need of some extra care. But he was in good spirits when we visited him! We've also been stopping in to see Great Grandma & Grandpa J. before school and after swimming. Jacob loves those visits because he almost always leaves with chocolate! :)
March has been pretty low-key. We went out and celebrated Austin's birthday early with a dinner at Applebee's and a family fun night at the Wow Zone! Jacob was so cute, telling the waiter right away "it's my daddy's birthday" :) He also enjoyed sharing the cake and ice cream! At the Wow Zone, daddy and Jacob spent a good amount of time playing the Jurassic Park video game. And it was very fun to watch. Then we did a round of family bowling - Jacob's first time - and of course, Jacob won. :)
I got to spend a day up at the Capital for Homeless Day on the Hill - raising awareness and advocating support to end homelessness in Mankato. It was my first time doing anything like that and while I didn't get to meet with as many representatives as I would have liked, it was still a really great day. I look forward to going back again next year.
This past Thursday, we dropped Austin off at a treatment center in South Dakota. I won't write more about that here, I'm working on a separate blog post for that.
I guess that about does it for us right now. Hopefully I'll be back again in another month. :)
February has come and gone and so has March pretty much. :)
Jacob really enjoyed his big boy swimming lessons (no parents in the pool). Surprisingly, he did much better listening to the teachers than he did when we were in the pool with him. :) Ha! You can really see how he's getting more and more comfortable in the water. He's picking up on the kicking and scooping and with the help of his frog floatie, he can really move himself around the pool. He even went down the big slide at the Rec Center a couple of times! Although, one time he might have gone more under water than he was used to and that spooked him a bit! But he graduating level 3 swimming and can move on to level 4!
Jacob also enjoyed his ECFE classes. Generally, he zones in on one particular toy (a truck or tractor) and won't do much exploring with all the other activities they have. But he started to expand on that this session. He really enjoyed the sensory bin, playing with play-doh and even some imaginative play in the kitchen! He really was quite adorable, telling us the pan was too hot and not to touch! :) He also did incredibly well when it came to circle time and singing along with the songs. Hearing him sing the "Hello" song - adorable.
Overall, Jacob has really started to do more singing which of course just warms our hearts! It's so fun to listen to him singing songs he makes up and songs that we've been singing to him. He is still a huge fan of Big Block Singsong but he also is really into Veggie Tales songs as well. And of course, many of the favorite nursery rhymes! He's still very much into dinosaurs and DinoTrux! And he has had a renewed love of reading! He is really enjoying the Pigeon books right now and we read them so much, he can pretty much read all of them back to us! It's pretty adorable when he just randomly starts quoting a book! We're really looking forward to the warmer weather to get back outside more often!
Jacob also got to spend a weekend in Iowa at the "Zuba farm" with his grandparents and cousin Evie. He was seriously counting down the days until he could go and once we picked him up, he talked for days about how much fun he had! :) And of course, he's already asking when he can go back!
I also have to take a moment to talk about this sweet kid Jacob. Even though he's only three and a half, the kid has a huge heart. He is the sweetest, most kind boy. And it melts my heart. Randomly he will come up to me and say "hug?" and then give me a great big hug and say "I love you so much". I don't know if he can sense when I need those hugs or just really is the sweetest boy, but it stops me in my tracks every time and I am reminded about how blessed I am to be this little boy's mother. Before swimming the other day, we were waiting for class to start and he just random says "I love you mommy. And I love my daddy!" Or when he slept all night in his own bed the other night and was telling him how proud I was of him the next morning and I said, "Give me a high five!" Jacob looked at me, thinking and said, "Or I give you a hug!" :) This weekend, he told Nana he needed to come give me a hug so that I feel better. And one day at daycare, he started crying for no reason and when Amber finally got an answer out of Jacob he said, "I miss my mommy". He still runs to me even if we've only been a part a little while, arms open and when I pick him up, he buries himself into a big hug. His little heart is so full of love. And I am so full of love for him.
For me, February was a little crazy. We had our fifth annual Pedal Past Poverty event at work on the 25th. And while this day and the prep before hand are crazy enough of themselves, we also had to deal with a "incoming blizzard" that make things even more hectic. We managed to get everything to the Y on Thursday night before the snow and got everything set up by Friday afternoon. By Saturday, the weather was cold - but otherwise perfect for the event. We had a successful event and raised just over $92K! I am constantly amazed by this community and how caring and giving they are.
I also did some more singing at church, singing with the praise band and agreeing to sing as one of the song leaders for the Holden Evening prayer for Lent. I even agreed to sing a solo at church the morning after Pedal Past Poverty. Probably not my best decision, but it went well. :)
Jacob and I have successfully switched bedrooms and all the moving and organizing is pretty much done. Just a couple more pieces of furniture to remove. I also got a new mattress!! And I have to say, it is a huge improvement from the waterbed! :) It's pretty much my new favorite place! haha!
Austin and I both signed our copies of the divorce papers as well. This was a hard day and made everything much more real. I am definitely mourning the lost of my marriage and I'm not sure how to handle that.
We also visited my Grandpa R. who's been in need of some extra care. But he was in good spirits when we visited him! We've also been stopping in to see Great Grandma & Grandpa J. before school and after swimming. Jacob loves those visits because he almost always leaves with chocolate! :)
March has been pretty low-key. We went out and celebrated Austin's birthday early with a dinner at Applebee's and a family fun night at the Wow Zone! Jacob was so cute, telling the waiter right away "it's my daddy's birthday" :) He also enjoyed sharing the cake and ice cream! At the Wow Zone, daddy and Jacob spent a good amount of time playing the Jurassic Park video game. And it was very fun to watch. Then we did a round of family bowling - Jacob's first time - and of course, Jacob won. :)
I got to spend a day up at the Capital for Homeless Day on the Hill - raising awareness and advocating support to end homelessness in Mankato. It was my first time doing anything like that and while I didn't get to meet with as many representatives as I would have liked, it was still a really great day. I look forward to going back again next year.
This past Thursday, we dropped Austin off at a treatment center in South Dakota. I won't write more about that here, I'm working on a separate blog post for that.
I guess that about does it for us right now. Hopefully I'll be back again in another month. :)
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
A time to feel overwhelmed
Life has these stages or periods when you're going through a change. First, we were in that Waiting Period of the unknown. Luckily, we seem to be moving from that phase to the next fairly quickly. While there are still plenty of unknowns, at least we're moving along. This next phase, I'm going to call the Overwhelming Time.
These past two weeks have been some of the most overwhelming. Austin and I have been living/working in two different states. We've spent our weekends and any free time packing or arranging space. And so much time on the road. It has been exhausting and overwhelming to the max. From one job ending to another one starting right away. Living out of suitcases while you start to pack and move, not really knowing where anything is. Worrying about finding a daycare as soon as possible to bring some structure back to your kid's life. To searching for jobs, getting an interview and then a job offer. To finally doing that big move and returning the keys to the apartment. It's been a busy two weeks. And there has honestly not been a minute to rest. Or at least it feels like that.
So in case you had a hard time following all that... let's break it down. :)
I started at Partners for Affordable Housing on Thursday, July 9th. My first two days flew by as they were filled with information and meeting people. I quickly realized that this job is going to keep me busy. I have so much more to say on this job but I think I'll save that for a completely different blog post. On Saturday, we were back down to Iowa, meeting Austin half way to exchange car and truck. The rest of the weekend was spent packing and cleaning while Jacob spent some time with Grandma and Grandpa Z.
On Sunday, Austin actually was able to drive back to Minnesota with us (and bringing another car load of stuff) as he had gotten an interview on Monday at a fabrication shop in North Mankato. This allowed him to spend some extra time with Jacob and we even got to meet for lunch! After his interview however, it was back down to Iowa as he had to work on Tuesday. My second week of work was another great one, and another busy one! Also during the week, Austin got a call and was offered the job! Although this meant he had to come back up to Minnesota Thursday night for an early Friday morning drug and strength tests and back down to Iowa to work the rest of the day. Then on Friday evening, it was back down to Iowa, this time with the truck and trailer in tow.
Austin and I spent all weekend getting everything else packed up. I mean, everything else, as in, nothing else had been done. Ha! Sunday morning, his parents came and helped us load up the trailer. Then I took off for Minnesota while they stayed back to do the cleaning and the final walk though with our landlord. After getting to Minnesota, we unloaded some stuff and put it all in the basement of my parents' house and took the rest to a storage unit we're currently renting. As for the stuff we put in the basement, none of it has been put away yet so there are boxes and bags everywhere. At least Jacob's crib is up for him to sleep in!
Austin is still down in Iowa has he has his two weeks to finish up. So he's staying with his parents and making the 45 minute drive into Cedar Rapids every day. He starts his new job on August 3rd. He'll have about three months of training and then he will be working this 2nd shift. This will be a new adjustment for all of us but I think we'll be able to figure it out.
And so this is where we are. After two weeks of non-stop going and packing, things are maybe starting to slow down a bit. But honestly, I think we're both just trying to catch up on some sleep and let our bodies rest. So if you happen to see either one of us and we don't look too excited, or awake - that's to be expected. :)
These past two weeks have been some of the most overwhelming. Austin and I have been living/working in two different states. We've spent our weekends and any free time packing or arranging space. And so much time on the road. It has been exhausting and overwhelming to the max. From one job ending to another one starting right away. Living out of suitcases while you start to pack and move, not really knowing where anything is. Worrying about finding a daycare as soon as possible to bring some structure back to your kid's life. To searching for jobs, getting an interview and then a job offer. To finally doing that big move and returning the keys to the apartment. It's been a busy two weeks. And there has honestly not been a minute to rest. Or at least it feels like that.
So in case you had a hard time following all that... let's break it down. :)
I started at Partners for Affordable Housing on Thursday, July 9th. My first two days flew by as they were filled with information and meeting people. I quickly realized that this job is going to keep me busy. I have so much more to say on this job but I think I'll save that for a completely different blog post. On Saturday, we were back down to Iowa, meeting Austin half way to exchange car and truck. The rest of the weekend was spent packing and cleaning while Jacob spent some time with Grandma and Grandpa Z.
On Sunday, Austin actually was able to drive back to Minnesota with us (and bringing another car load of stuff) as he had gotten an interview on Monday at a fabrication shop in North Mankato. This allowed him to spend some extra time with Jacob and we even got to meet for lunch! After his interview however, it was back down to Iowa as he had to work on Tuesday. My second week of work was another great one, and another busy one! Also during the week, Austin got a call and was offered the job! Although this meant he had to come back up to Minnesota Thursday night for an early Friday morning drug and strength tests and back down to Iowa to work the rest of the day. Then on Friday evening, it was back down to Iowa, this time with the truck and trailer in tow.
Austin and I spent all weekend getting everything else packed up. I mean, everything else, as in, nothing else had been done. Ha! Sunday morning, his parents came and helped us load up the trailer. Then I took off for Minnesota while they stayed back to do the cleaning and the final walk though with our landlord. After getting to Minnesota, we unloaded some stuff and put it all in the basement of my parents' house and took the rest to a storage unit we're currently renting. As for the stuff we put in the basement, none of it has been put away yet so there are boxes and bags everywhere. At least Jacob's crib is up for him to sleep in!
Austin is still down in Iowa has he has his two weeks to finish up. So he's staying with his parents and making the 45 minute drive into Cedar Rapids every day. He starts his new job on August 3rd. He'll have about three months of training and then he will be working this 2nd shift. This will be a new adjustment for all of us but I think we'll be able to figure it out.
And so this is where we are. After two weeks of non-stop going and packing, things are maybe starting to slow down a bit. But honestly, I think we're both just trying to catch up on some sleep and let our bodies rest. So if you happen to see either one of us and we don't look too excited, or awake - that's to be expected. :)
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Minnesota, here we come!
Well, it's happening. The Zaruba family will soon be residents of the great state of Minnesota! :)
If you haven't already heard, I accepted a new job as the Communications and Volunteer Coordinator at a non-profit called Partners for Affordable Housing. I'm really looking forward to trying my hand in the non-profit world and taking on this new challenge!
We're not entirely sure what the month of July is going to look like for us. Our lease is up at the end of July so AJ is actually going to stay in Iowa and keep working while he looks for jobs in Minnesota. This will also give us some extra time to get everything packed up and moved. And I don't know if you know this, but we're pretty good at this whole moving thing. :) Temporarily, we'll be moving in to my parents' basement while we figure out where we want to live. Ideally, I'd love to start looking for houses as soon as possible.
Back before I knew the job was mine, I knew I wanted to get back to Minnesota. But at the same time, I felt that anxiety about leaving Iowa, the place I've lived for 10+ years. Now that I've accepted the job, I feel excitement to get back to Minnesota. To be closer to family and friends. Back to a place that has always really been home. But leaving Iowa will be hard.
Iowa will also hold a very special place in my heart. And without a doubt, we'll be back to visit often. But Iowa, you've given me so much. You gave me an education. You were the place I grew up. You were the place where I met some of my closest friends. You were the place I met the love of my life. Iowa, you gave me the chance grow, make mistakes and learn. You were where we were married. You were the place where Jacob was born. Iowa will always be like home to me. We've been so blessed in this state.
So, stay tuned to our next great adventure! It sure will be a good one!
If you haven't already heard, I accepted a new job as the Communications and Volunteer Coordinator at a non-profit called Partners for Affordable Housing. I'm really looking forward to trying my hand in the non-profit world and taking on this new challenge!
We're not entirely sure what the month of July is going to look like for us. Our lease is up at the end of July so AJ is actually going to stay in Iowa and keep working while he looks for jobs in Minnesota. This will also give us some extra time to get everything packed up and moved. And I don't know if you know this, but we're pretty good at this whole moving thing. :) Temporarily, we'll be moving in to my parents' basement while we figure out where we want to live. Ideally, I'd love to start looking for houses as soon as possible.
Back before I knew the job was mine, I knew I wanted to get back to Minnesota. But at the same time, I felt that anxiety about leaving Iowa, the place I've lived for 10+ years. Now that I've accepted the job, I feel excitement to get back to Minnesota. To be closer to family and friends. Back to a place that has always really been home. But leaving Iowa will be hard.
Iowa will also hold a very special place in my heart. And without a doubt, we'll be back to visit often. But Iowa, you've given me so much. You gave me an education. You were the place I grew up. You were the place where I met some of my closest friends. You were the place I met the love of my life. Iowa, you gave me the chance grow, make mistakes and learn. You were where we were married. You were the place where Jacob was born. Iowa will always be like home to me. We've been so blessed in this state.
So, stay tuned to our next great adventure! It sure will be a good one!
Friday, May 29, 2015
Transitions
I've been thinking a lot about transitions in life. When I think about the past five years, I think transitions. That's what our life has been. A lot and a lot of transitions. Or at least, it certainly feels that way.
Transitioning from college to a job. Transitions from living with your parents to living on your own to living with your husband to living with a kid. Transitions from your first job to a new job. And another job. And another job.... Transitions to new places to live, new communities, new people to meet. Transitioning from raising a baby to raising and parenting a toddler.
This is what I feel the past five+ years have been for us. Transitions. Always waiting for what's next. Waiting on new opportunities. Waiting to see if this is a good fit. And then preparing for what's next. Preparing for the next opportunity.
And when I think about it this way, it actually exhausts me. It makes me tired. It makes me yearn for something permanent. I want to find a job that I know I will be at for at least five years. I want to find a place where I know we plan on staying. I want to find a place that we stay long enough to really become a part of the community. To meet fellow parents. To develop close friendships. I want to find a place where we can buy a house.
We still have wedding presents in their boxes because we haven't had the space for them. We have boxes at both parents' houses because we don't have the space or didn't want to keep moving them. We still have packed boxes in our apartment because we know it's not going to be long term.
This is what I'm most tired of - the boxes. I hate that things are all over the place and not easily accessible. I want to be able to unpack every box and have a place for it. Or throw away the junk. I want a yard for Jacob to be able to run and play. I want a space for visitors to be able to stay. I want that permanent feeling.
I believe there have been a couple times where things have started to feel more permanent to us, then life throws a curve ball and we have to adjust. And we've always managed to adjust well in time, but I want more stability. I know that life will always be throwing curve balls and we will constantly be adjusting to things. However, when I think about this, I think that if we have a house and a permanent place to call home, the other adjustments might not be as bad. So this is what I crave.
And if I'm being completely honest, what I crave is a home in Minnesota. I want to be closer to family, closer to a place where I have more friends close by. I want a place that feels like we belong. I want a place to raise Jacob in a world that plays Duck Duck Grey Duck. ;-) And that place is Minnesota.
But here's the funny thing. When I think about honestly moving to Minnesota, about the very real possibility that it could happen in the near future, I start to have anxiety. Anxiety about leaving Iowa, leaving this place I've called home for over 10 years. I believe that it will be hard to say goodbye. It feels different to be possibly leaving Iowa than it did to be leaving Minnesota when I left for college. Probably because at that point, I didn't know what would happen after college, there was always the possibility of returning to Minnesota. If we move to Minnesota now, that will most likely be it. So it's hard to think about having to say good-bye. But. We're not going anywhere yet.
I do feel like we're in the middle of another transition though. With GE announcing the sale of GE Capital, my job could be eliminated or I could move to another company. So we sit and wait in this transition period again. Wondering what's next and where it will take us. I guess only time will tell.
Transitioning from college to a job. Transitions from living with your parents to living on your own to living with your husband to living with a kid. Transitions from your first job to a new job. And another job. And another job.... Transitions to new places to live, new communities, new people to meet. Transitioning from raising a baby to raising and parenting a toddler.
This is what I feel the past five+ years have been for us. Transitions. Always waiting for what's next. Waiting on new opportunities. Waiting to see if this is a good fit. And then preparing for what's next. Preparing for the next opportunity.
And when I think about it this way, it actually exhausts me. It makes me tired. It makes me yearn for something permanent. I want to find a job that I know I will be at for at least five years. I want to find a place where I know we plan on staying. I want to find a place that we stay long enough to really become a part of the community. To meet fellow parents. To develop close friendships. I want to find a place where we can buy a house.
We still have wedding presents in their boxes because we haven't had the space for them. We have boxes at both parents' houses because we don't have the space or didn't want to keep moving them. We still have packed boxes in our apartment because we know it's not going to be long term.
This is what I'm most tired of - the boxes. I hate that things are all over the place and not easily accessible. I want to be able to unpack every box and have a place for it. Or throw away the junk. I want a yard for Jacob to be able to run and play. I want a space for visitors to be able to stay. I want that permanent feeling.
I believe there have been a couple times where things have started to feel more permanent to us, then life throws a curve ball and we have to adjust. And we've always managed to adjust well in time, but I want more stability. I know that life will always be throwing curve balls and we will constantly be adjusting to things. However, when I think about this, I think that if we have a house and a permanent place to call home, the other adjustments might not be as bad. So this is what I crave.
And if I'm being completely honest, what I crave is a home in Minnesota. I want to be closer to family, closer to a place where I have more friends close by. I want a place that feels like we belong. I want a place to raise Jacob in a world that plays Duck Duck Grey Duck. ;-) And that place is Minnesota.
But here's the funny thing. When I think about honestly moving to Minnesota, about the very real possibility that it could happen in the near future, I start to have anxiety. Anxiety about leaving Iowa, leaving this place I've called home for over 10 years. I believe that it will be hard to say goodbye. It feels different to be possibly leaving Iowa than it did to be leaving Minnesota when I left for college. Probably because at that point, I didn't know what would happen after college, there was always the possibility of returning to Minnesota. If we move to Minnesota now, that will most likely be it. So it's hard to think about having to say good-bye. But. We're not going anywhere yet.
I do feel like we're in the middle of another transition though. With GE announcing the sale of GE Capital, my job could be eliminated or I could move to another company. So we sit and wait in this transition period again. Wondering what's next and where it will take us. I guess only time will tell.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Happy New Year!
Well, as quickly as they came, the holidays are now gone. But I think I speak for both Austin and I when I say that we had a great holiday season this year.
Last year over the holidays, I was unemployed. As such, we were able to spend more time with family since AJ has a bigger break over the holidays off from school and so it worked out very nicely! But then of course I got this job. Come to find out, the university shuts down the week between Christmas and the New Year so we were able to enjoy just as much of a relaxing break this year with our families!
We started out in Tipton, spending the actual holidays with Austin's family. We had a blast - as we always do! :) We played board games, Wii games, ate A LOT of food and of course, had our traditional scavenger hunt! AJ's parents would always make a scavenger hunt for the kids growing up and it's something they continue to do, only now Matt and I get to join in on the fun as well! But this year, I decided to mix it up a little bit - we created a scavenger hunt for them! It was fun to see them "run" around the house and yard looking for their clues to find their present this year! Although, I'm not sure we'll make them do it every year... :) We even had time to make some awesome gingerbread houses... and one boat. haha Overall, it was great to be back in Tipton and spend some much needed time together with the family! It had been way too long! Here are some pictures from our time there!
After spending some time in Tipton, we headed up to Minnesota to see my family. I think they were eager for us to get there because they were waiting on us to open presents! :) Again, we enjoyed being able to just spend some relaxing time with family and seeing old friends while we were there. We also enjoyed watching an old video that we made last Christmas while our parents were away... it was quite funny. :) We even got some snow while we were there - very little!! - but enough to make it feel a little bit more like Christmas. Otherwise it was a very brown Christmas - everywhere (home in Oakland, Tipton and Minnesota!). And I mean brown, no snow whatsoever. Not even piles in the ditch. It was very sad. But anyway, we did get a light dusting in Minnesota just in time to celebrate the Reedstrom family Christmas. We had a houseful and it was so much fun! We always have a great time!
We did celebrate Mom's birthday while we were around on Friday night before we all had to leave as well! We decided to drive back home on the 31st so that we could spend a relaxing New Year's Eve at our house - really just being a boring old couple. :) But it was good to be home after being gone for so long. We really wish the rest of our family would just decide to move so that they would all be closer to us! ;-) And it was nice to have a relaxing day on Sunday before AJ had to go back to work on Monday. AJ had a professional development day on Monday, so no kids yet and then he even got the afternoon off. But that meant he was stuck at home with me cleaning the house, putting away Christmas decorations and re-organizing all of his clothes! :) I would say it was a very productive day!
Over break, AJ did have some excitement when it comes to his high school choir! They were featured on a local radio station that was featuring local talent singing Christmas songs! The recording he sent in is absolutely great (if you haven't heard it already!) and the radio even did a little bit of a back story!! You can listen to it here and you really should!!
And now it's back to the old routine of things, but in a new year. I love the start of a new year. It's a new beginning, a fresh start. A time for resolutions, although who really ever keeps those... haha The new year is a time to make new commitments. New ideas. A time for new adventures. And that's really what AJ and I are hoping for this year. We have some new ideas, some new plans and hopefully some new adventures in the works!
But, at the same time, you have to stay somewhat down to earth. You have to also realize that things don't always work out. Resolutions aren't always kept. Plans don't always go accordingly. But that's okay too. Because in one year, there will be a chance for another fresh start.
Last year over the holidays, I was unemployed. As such, we were able to spend more time with family since AJ has a bigger break over the holidays off from school and so it worked out very nicely! But then of course I got this job. Come to find out, the university shuts down the week between Christmas and the New Year so we were able to enjoy just as much of a relaxing break this year with our families!
We started out in Tipton, spending the actual holidays with Austin's family. We had a blast - as we always do! :) We played board games, Wii games, ate A LOT of food and of course, had our traditional scavenger hunt! AJ's parents would always make a scavenger hunt for the kids growing up and it's something they continue to do, only now Matt and I get to join in on the fun as well! But this year, I decided to mix it up a little bit - we created a scavenger hunt for them! It was fun to see them "run" around the house and yard looking for their clues to find their present this year! Although, I'm not sure we'll make them do it every year... :) We even had time to make some awesome gingerbread houses... and one boat. haha Overall, it was great to be back in Tipton and spend some much needed time together with the family! It had been way too long! Here are some pictures from our time there!
After spending some time in Tipton, we headed up to Minnesota to see my family. I think they were eager for us to get there because they were waiting on us to open presents! :) Again, we enjoyed being able to just spend some relaxing time with family and seeing old friends while we were there. We also enjoyed watching an old video that we made last Christmas while our parents were away... it was quite funny. :) We even got some snow while we were there - very little!! - but enough to make it feel a little bit more like Christmas. Otherwise it was a very brown Christmas - everywhere (home in Oakland, Tipton and Minnesota!). And I mean brown, no snow whatsoever. Not even piles in the ditch. It was very sad. But anyway, we did get a light dusting in Minnesota just in time to celebrate the Reedstrom family Christmas. We had a houseful and it was so much fun! We always have a great time!
Over break, AJ did have some excitement when it comes to his high school choir! They were featured on a local radio station that was featuring local talent singing Christmas songs! The recording he sent in is absolutely great (if you haven't heard it already!) and the radio even did a little bit of a back story!! You can listen to it here and you really should!!
And now it's back to the old routine of things, but in a new year. I love the start of a new year. It's a new beginning, a fresh start. A time for resolutions, although who really ever keeps those... haha The new year is a time to make new commitments. New ideas. A time for new adventures. And that's really what AJ and I are hoping for this year. We have some new ideas, some new plans and hopefully some new adventures in the works!
But, at the same time, you have to stay somewhat down to earth. You have to also realize that things don't always work out. Resolutions aren't always kept. Plans don't always go accordingly. But that's okay too. Because in one year, there will be a chance for another fresh start.
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