A recap of Spring

Life continues to move at fast pace around here. I can't believe tomorrow is already June. I can't believe my little man is going to four soon!! 

Work has been crazy. We've been trying to fill some positions for a while and that always keeps things interesting - especially when you work at a small nonprofit. The work never stops. We finished our first ever Hats, Horses & Hope fundraiser. The weather was beautiful and overall, the day was a success. We definitely learned a lot and know what changes we'd make in the future. We also made some money! Which is always helpful when doing a fundraising event. We also found out our Executive Director is leaving for another job. This has been hard to process. We have a great team, a great energy and a lot of passion. In the close to 2 years that I've been with PAH, our executive director has been a major point in all of that. While I'm happy for her new job opportunity, I am also incredibly sad. And while I had hoped the summer would slow down a little, it now appears that I'll be helping get our new executive director started. Like I said, the work never stops. :) 

Personally, life has been.... _____. Who knows. Fill in the blank. AJ and I have struggled (I have struggled) some in defining what our relationship looks like now with the divorce. I'm still working through this. I still love him and I still care about him and I still want to support him, but I can't do that as his wife anymore. I'm not sure how to do this yet. 

AJ was recently asked to leave the halfway house he was completing treatment at. This is his story to tell but he found himself without a place to live. Since being at the halfway house, he hasn't been able to come over and visit much and spend much time with Jacob. Most of the time we would see him would be quick visits and almost never at the house. Well the night AJ found himself without a place to live, he came over, played with Jacob and helped put him to bed. That night, I didn't think about sharing anything about what was happening with Jacob. I should have. 

The next morning, he woke up calling for his daddy. When I told him that daddy had to leave last night and was no longer there, Jacob told me "I want to play with daddy. I want to go visit daddy's house soon". Later on the car ride to daycare, Jacob asked me where daddy was, if he was at House of Hope. (We had told Jacob that daddy was living there while he was working on getting better, but nothing more specific). I told him I wasn't sure right now. Then Jacob asked, "Is daddy fixed yet?" 

This broke my heart. It shattered my illusion that I had been successful at protecting Jacob from everything that's been happening. It caused me to question if I've been doing any of this right with Jacob. How much do you tell a three year old? How much detail do you go into? How do you tell him his parents aren't together anymore? I don't have the answers for any of these questions. But Jacob has not been oblivious. 

AJ was able to go stay with his parents for awhile and has found a place to live, is looking for a job and to get back into an outpatient treatment program. But he's no longer in the area. And we have to figure out how to explain this to Jacob. 

Luckily, Jacob was able to go spend some time in Iowa over the Memorial Day weekend with his daddy, cousin Evie and Nana and Papa Z. It sounds like they all had a blast and that Jacob and Evie played hard together! I also think that Jacob really enjoyed the time with just his daddy around - I know AJ did. :) 

I spent the holiday weekend on my self-care. Indulging in some foods I've been trying to avoid in order to eat healthier, catching up on movies I've been wanting to see and TV shows that are impossible to watch with a toddler running around. :) I even got a massage on Saturday and it was wonderful heaven. On Sunday I got to see some cousins who I don't get to see nearly enough and then spent the evening/night in the Twin Cities with two girl friends who I also don't get to see nearly enough. It was a fantastic time to just escape everything for a while, have some fun, but also catch up and have some really great conversations with some really important people to me. 

I think we're looking forward to summer around here and being able to enjoy the warmer weather and spend more time outdoors. Looking back on the past few weeks, Easter was good. We enjoyed having Uncle Dan and Josh and Aunt Megan down, Jacob went on an Easter egg hunt, found his Easter basket from the Easter Bunny and just enjoyed being the center of attention with everyone around. :) My Grandpa's service up at Fort Snelling and the funeral in Mankato were days filled with memories, love, laughter, tears and family. I felt very blessed for such an amazing family. 

I also bought a new car! I finally decided it was time to upgrade and purchased a 2014 Honda CR-V. I'm really loving the extra space and will really enjoy the All-wheel drive this winter! Jacob is also a big fan. :)

Jacob sang really well with his Rainbow Room class for the end of the year. They sang "This little light is mine" and Jacob was front and center! :) However, within the next two days, we were at the doctor's office battling an ear infection. Jacob was not a fan of his medicine! But bribery works. Ha!! 

Mother's Day was a great day. Jacob did a great job sitting through two church services while I sang. We enjoyed a nice meal with some family and spent the day just enjoying each other's company. :) I am so blessed to be Jacob's mother. He may push my buttons more often than not, but I wouldn't change him for the world! I love that kid. 

Money - who wants to give us some? :)

So we've started taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University courses through our church in Oakland. This will be our third week. It's a thirteen week course, so you know, pretty intense. :) I was a little nervous before going to our first class for a couple of reasons.

One, I heard we had homework and I wasn't sure I was okay with that. (Turns out, homework hasn't been too tough!) Two, I was nervous that it was going to be really boring. Luckily, Dave Ramsey is a really fun guy to listen to, very easy to listen to and that first hour goes by incredibly fast. He knows how to add in the humor when needed and he talked in a way that's easily understandable. The second hour we have a group discussion. This hour also goes by pretty quickly - we take turns discussing the answers to questions poised in the book and we also spend some time sharing our stories. After last week's class, I walked out of it feeling that not only is this a financial planning type of counseling, it could also be seen as couples counseling. :)

Even with just the first two classes under our belt, I really feel like we're learning a lot. I really feel like Austin and I are going to be able to get our life on the right track financially. It might take a little time, but we'll get there. We're also learning some key ideas on how to raise our kids to be financially successful someday.

I will tell you one thing though that's maybe a bit ironic. The first thing you see when you watch that first video is people getting asked a question: "What would you do if you had a $5000 emergency?" The answers all vary but it's to teach you the importance of having an emergency fund available. And three weeks into our course, I wish we would have had that fund. There have been two major events within a week and half of each other that have taken quite a bite out of our account.

First, Austin needed to get his wisdom teeth pulled. He's been told for a long time that they've needed to come out, so we probably should have looked into everything a long time ago. But we didn't. We waited until Austin was in enough pain he didn't want to take it anymore, and scheduled the procedure. Well, if you don't know, they make you put down a pretty hefty "deposit" before the procedure actually begins. I suppose we could have been saving up for this.

The second event we couldn't really see coming. But it was just like any other Midwestern day, the snow was falling, the roads were crappy and busy with morning commuters. And before I know it, I find myself hit by another vehicle. Luckily I was not hurt and neither was the other driver. It wasn't on the interstate so we weren't going too fast either. But it is definitely an unexpected (and unwanted) cost that we now have to take care of. We're hoping that the other guy's insurance will take liability and be able to cut us a check, but it probably won't be until after we've already had to pay out.

And finally, we still need to file our taxes. Actually we need to determine if we're going to go talk to someone or just try to figure out the whole live-in-one-state, work-in-another-state thing. And also trying to determine if it'll be better to file separately or together. After we had to pay to the state of Iowa last year, we were hoping for some good news this year. But after we started filing our taxes, things weren't looking too promising.

Money can be great. When you have it. Although I've heard having too much can be a burden too. So I don't want a lot of money. I just want enough money. And money can suck. And it seems that when something is going to happen, it's all going to happen together. When it rain, it pours. Or - when it snows, you get in a car accident. Ha.

But it's important to remember that money is not everything. Money does not determine who we are. And money does not determine our success. Our thoughts, beliefs and actions determine who we are. Our success is defined by so much more than money. And our family and friends are everything.

So to you - our family and friends - thank you. For who you are. For what you do. For being a part of our lives. You are the most important. But, if you do have any extra money lying around... we'd be more than happy to take some of it for you. :)