I've been thinking about writing this post for a while now. As I inch closer and closer to my ultimate goal of being debt-free.
Recently, I did a thing. A huge, very adult thing. I made my last ever student loan payment. Eleven years after graduating college. Which isn't too bad, considering they generally set you up on a ten-year repayment plan and there was more than once I had to defer my loan payments or get those payments lowered.
I am forever grateful for my experience at college. I wouldn't change it for the world. But it is a huge relief, a huge burden lifted to be finally done making payments on my student loans.
I've been on this debt-free journey for a few years now. But before I tell you my story, I need you to know that getting to this point took some hard lessons being learned, it meant making sacrifices, it meant working hard but it also took a lot of luck. I've been very fortunate in some of my circumstances that have made this journey easier than it could have been.
I will be the first to admit that I am no money expert. In fact, for most of my life, money was definitely not my strong suit. Just ask my sister. She loves to tell people how I supposedly "bullied" her into sharing her allowance and saved money when we were on vacation. Haha!! She's also not wrong. I liked to spend money, not save it. And that can be a hard habit to break.
I had summer jobs growing up and worked my way through college so I knew the value of hard work and money being earned. After college, I landed a job that paid very well but I hate to admit that I was foolish with that money. Looking back, I just cringe at the thought. I was making more money than I needed at the time. Yet, I was not good at saving it or putting it towards student loan payments. Instead, I enjoyed spending that money - on eating out more than I should, on things I didn't need and who knows what else.
After AJ and I got married, we realized neither of us was good with money. A super great combination. HA! We continued to enjoy a lifestyle that was not extravagant but was also not necessarily within our budget. But how would we have known? We didn't have a budget back then. Between some poor life decisions, low-paying jobs and some big moves, we quickly racked up our credit card debt. We were also feeling the sting of those overdraft fees on our checking account. We were living paycheck to paycheck and often we didn't have enough each month. AJ and I both deferred our student loans payments a few different times to help ease the burden. We just had not figured out how to properly manage our money.
During this time, my parents offered to pay for us to attend a Dave Ramsey course. We jumped at the opportunity, sick of our financial situation. And we learned a lot of great things. We learned we had a lot of work ahead of us. But we got excited about the process. You bet we cut up our credit cards! You bet we put up a debt snowball sheet on our fridge. That looked incredibly daunting, by the way!
But we did start chipping away. We knew what needed to be done.
I wish I could say that the start of this journey started back then. But that's not true. Soon, AJ's addiction continued to grow into a larger issue. At some desperate points, AJ would find a doctor to give him pills, but because insurance had already been used, he'd pay out of pocket for them. That was never cheap. On top of that, we had medical bills from the few times AJ ended up in the hospital or at treatment because of his addiction. His addiction kept him from work at times and with those bills piling up, it felt like a very dark place.
I do not hold this against AJ. He was sick. But it got to the point where I had to start making some difficult decisions to keep Jacob and I financially secure. We got different checking accounts. We got divorced. Although, even after that, I still continued to help AJ financially. He was the father to my son. He was the man I loved. I didn't want to see him fail. It took me until a couple of months after our divorce before I was finally strong enough to break that pattern.
I think the tipping point for me when I was truly able to start this journey came once we moved back to Minnesota. We moved in with my parents, what we thought would be a temporary stay. And three years later, I'm still in the basement. I believe that this, above all else, has been key to my success. My parents have been too fortunate and kind allowing Jacob and I to live there. While we agreed on some monthly rent, they would also allow me to skip that some months if I had other bills to pay. I had no utility bills. We share streaming services. I'll pitch in to buy some groceries. But the amount of money I've saved by living with my parents is a huge contribution to my debt-free journey. And I am incredibly grateful to them.
I finally started working my debt snowball seriously. Each debt that was paid off, I added that amount to my next debt. It makes a huge difference. Any extra money I got from Christmas or a tax refund went to pay off some debt. I had some inheritance money that I received that also went straight to my debt. I've worked a seasonal second job for the past three years and have used that money to pay off my debt.
I also started to actually use the budget I had created for myself. A detailed budget that included all of my expenses, how much money from each paycheck and where the money could be spent. This has helped me to avoid extra spending - not always - but much more often! Each paycheck has a designated set of bills to pay. Another life hack I used was when putting my budget together, I would round down on the amount of money each paycheck would be and round up on my bills. This would generally ensure I had enough money and even some extra at times. This was helpful for those extra and sometimes unexpected bills. I also always had my debt totals right next to my budget so would remember what I was working towards.
It was only because of each of these things, each of these circumstances, that I am at the place I'm at today. And I'm also not quite there.
My last remaining debt is my car payment, which some argue whether or not that should qualify under debt. But it is a monthly payment that I make. Plus, if you ask Dave Ramsey, he's all about buying cars with cash! But, I hope to have my car paid off within the next year.
I do have a couple of credit cards with some charges on them. But I only use them for big purchases and always make more than the minimal payment required. I no longer rely on credit cards to pay my bills or help me survive until the next paycheck.
And I finally got that saving-thing down. I'm contributing towards my retirement. I'm putting money aside for Jacob's schooling one day. I've got money from every paycheck that never comes to my checking account and instead goes into a separate savings account - even at a different establishment than my every day bank. I have an app on my phone that rounds up the extra cents from each purchase and saves them in another account. I try not to spend any $5 bills I receive and instead stick them away somewhere. I've even added "additional savings" to my budget for things like medical bills, car costs, etc.
I will still claim that I am no money expert. But I am finally in a place that I feel confident about my financial situation. I feel more financially secure than I ever have. And I also can see a bright future ahead of being able to live and enjoy life without being financially insecure. And that is truly an amazing feeling.
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Monday, April 8, 2019
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
Confidence
I feel like a page has been turned.
**knocking on wood** I don't want to jinx this.
You know those moments in life that leave you a bit in awe? Those moments that you know are going to a defining moment of your life?
I think I'm having one of those.
But let's back up a little first...
I think I've always struggled with my self-confidence. In all areas, but particularly when it comes to my performance at work. It's always been there some, but I had one bad experience at a job that left what little self-confidence I did have pretty much shattered. I struggled for a long time after that. Questioning everything... my purpose; my calling; my past work performances...
Fast forward about a year and I find a job that I absolutely love. A job back in the field of communications but also working with volunteers and working for an organization that every day was making the difference in people's lives.
I needed that job. I needed the feeling of purpose. I needed the feeling of making a difference, of feeling accomplished. Little did I know how much I would need the amazing team that I got to work with every day.
Looking back over the two years I've spent there, I can see some of that self-confidence starting to rebuild. I started to feel better about the work I was doing, even while knowing that it could always be more. I became proud of the work I was doing. Looking back, I can see the clearly successful events; I can see the increase in awareness on such an important issue. I love seeing our hard work recognized.
Don't get me wrong. I still struggle with my self-confidence. I still struggle with the idea of recognizing my own ideas and promoting them as my own. Honestly, I love doing a good job, seeing the finished product, and knowing it was successful. And I don't want the credit for that. I like the behind-the-scenes aspect. But why shouldn't I own up to my ideas, especially the good ones?
For example, just recently, I was in a event planning committee meeting. I made a comment along these lines... "At the United Way Kickoff Rally, we had this idea of....." and finished explaining the idea. My ED immediately said, "No, that was your idea and I really like it!" Why is it so hard for me to take credit, to take ownership of my ideas? I know they won't all be good, but still.
And so we've landed at the present time. I think I've written a bit about this previously, but I've been struggling with the idea of staying in this job I love. When I look at my life now as a single parent, the importance of financial stability and benefits are much stronger. When I look at my career path, I want to be able to see an opportunity for growth, for progress. And while I love what I do, while I love the organization and all that they stand for, while I love my team and the amazing work and difference they make every day, I came to understand that personally, I needed more.
I started applying for jobs when I saw something that sounded interesting. Obviously I was looking for jobs that would provide an increase when it came to benefits and financial stability. I was looking for jobs where I could see an opportunity to promotion and growth.
One day, I saw a job posting. It was a marketing job back in the corporate world. It was with a company I was somewhat familiar with through our nonprofit work. The more I researched the company, the more I saw a company that wants to give back to the communities it serves. I had seen this personally. I saw a company that promotes learning and growth. I saw opportunity.
Going through the interview process only confirmed all of this. I was told about how the company promotes a healthy work/life balance and how they offer their employees time to volunteer and match donations given. I was walked through a benefits package with benefits that I had completely forgotten even existed but will be so valuable to me as a single mom. It was a lengthy interview process with quite a bit of paperwork, but I saw the value in everything and understood that the company wants to invest in the right person. I was super intrigued.
I spoke to no one (almost) about the interview. I told no one who I was interviewing with. Deep down, I wanted it too badly but didn't want to get my hopes up by sharing it with everyone when I had no idea if the job would be mine.
Then the call came.
The job was offered to me.
I was ecstatic. I was thrilled. This could finally be my opportunity to really find my footing, get a fresh start.
And then the question popped into my head.
"Should I ask for more money?"
I have only ever asked for more money with one job and that was because there were no benefits provided so it seemed like a fairly simple ask. I have never asked for more money due to my confidence in my skills. My lack of self-confidence has usually kept me from doing so.
But I've read plenty of articles and seen studies about this. Men are much more likely to automatically ask for more money. Men are paid more than women in general. What is it that holds women back from asking the same for themselves? For me, it's been that self confidence.
Thanks to the encouragement, advice and a pep talk from an amazing mentor, I understood that I only had one shot to ask for more money. One shot to advocate for myself. One shot to look out for my family and how I can provide for us.
And so I did it. I called back and asked for more money. I even went a little higher, I figured if they were to come back and say yes, they'd offer me less than what I wanted. I was told that HR would need to discuss it the managers and they'd get back to me.
I made this call right away in the morning. That whole day, I was on pins and needles, waiting for a call back. Nervous about what I had done. Wondering if I should have asked for less or maybe none at all?
The call came around 4:45 that afternoon. I anxiously answered the call. And then I heard something I was not expecting. "We can do that."
!!!!!!!
They were agreeing to give me what I asked for! The emotion that washed over me at that moment... wow.
Not only was there a big relief of knowing how much I'll be able to support my family by myself, but there was this huge feeling of satisfaction and a self-confidence boost. Not only had I taken a chance to advocate for myself, I was shown that they believe enough in my skills and what I can bring to the company to give it to me. I can't explain the awesomeness of that feeling.
For the first time in - who knows? forever maybe? - I was bursting with self-confidence. I was proud of myself. I felt respected as a professional.
And it was over the next 12+ hours that I came to realize - why shouldn't I always feel like this? Why do I continue to doubt myself and my skills? Obviously I still have a lot to learn and I will make mistakes. But I shouldn't dwell on that, especially if it hasn't happened yet. We all make mistakes. But we should be confident in our mistakes, taking it as a learning opportunity.
I got ready that next morning jamming out to the "Bad Moms" soundtrack which was probably the perfect playlist I needed. And here's where that page turn happened. I have the opportunity to go into this new job with a completely different attitude. I can walk in there confident. I can walk in knowing I'm valued. And because of that, I'll walk in there wanting and eager to do the best job I possibly can.
I wrote at the beginning of the year that 2017 was going to be the Year of Me. The Year of Liz. And while I plan on doing a recap at the end of the year to determine if I think it was a successful year of that or not, I think I've realized what my next step should be. And that next step should be to work on boosting my self-confidence. To take pride in myself and my work.
I'm only starting to realize how much of a difference something like self-confidence can make.
**knocking on wood** I don't want to jinx this.
You know those moments in life that leave you a bit in awe? Those moments that you know are going to a defining moment of your life?
I think I'm having one of those.
But let's back up a little first...
I think I've always struggled with my self-confidence. In all areas, but particularly when it comes to my performance at work. It's always been there some, but I had one bad experience at a job that left what little self-confidence I did have pretty much shattered. I struggled for a long time after that. Questioning everything... my purpose; my calling; my past work performances...
Fast forward about a year and I find a job that I absolutely love. A job back in the field of communications but also working with volunteers and working for an organization that every day was making the difference in people's lives.
I needed that job. I needed the feeling of purpose. I needed the feeling of making a difference, of feeling accomplished. Little did I know how much I would need the amazing team that I got to work with every day.
Looking back over the two years I've spent there, I can see some of that self-confidence starting to rebuild. I started to feel better about the work I was doing, even while knowing that it could always be more. I became proud of the work I was doing. Looking back, I can see the clearly successful events; I can see the increase in awareness on such an important issue. I love seeing our hard work recognized.
Don't get me wrong. I still struggle with my self-confidence. I still struggle with the idea of recognizing my own ideas and promoting them as my own. Honestly, I love doing a good job, seeing the finished product, and knowing it was successful. And I don't want the credit for that. I like the behind-the-scenes aspect. But why shouldn't I own up to my ideas, especially the good ones?
For example, just recently, I was in a event planning committee meeting. I made a comment along these lines... "At the United Way Kickoff Rally, we had this idea of....." and finished explaining the idea. My ED immediately said, "No, that was your idea and I really like it!" Why is it so hard for me to take credit, to take ownership of my ideas? I know they won't all be good, but still.
And so we've landed at the present time. I think I've written a bit about this previously, but I've been struggling with the idea of staying in this job I love. When I look at my life now as a single parent, the importance of financial stability and benefits are much stronger. When I look at my career path, I want to be able to see an opportunity for growth, for progress. And while I love what I do, while I love the organization and all that they stand for, while I love my team and the amazing work and difference they make every day, I came to understand that personally, I needed more.
I started applying for jobs when I saw something that sounded interesting. Obviously I was looking for jobs that would provide an increase when it came to benefits and financial stability. I was looking for jobs where I could see an opportunity to promotion and growth.
One day, I saw a job posting. It was a marketing job back in the corporate world. It was with a company I was somewhat familiar with through our nonprofit work. The more I researched the company, the more I saw a company that wants to give back to the communities it serves. I had seen this personally. I saw a company that promotes learning and growth. I saw opportunity.
Going through the interview process only confirmed all of this. I was told about how the company promotes a healthy work/life balance and how they offer their employees time to volunteer and match donations given. I was walked through a benefits package with benefits that I had completely forgotten even existed but will be so valuable to me as a single mom. It was a lengthy interview process with quite a bit of paperwork, but I saw the value in everything and understood that the company wants to invest in the right person. I was super intrigued.
I spoke to no one (almost) about the interview. I told no one who I was interviewing with. Deep down, I wanted it too badly but didn't want to get my hopes up by sharing it with everyone when I had no idea if the job would be mine.
Then the call came.
The job was offered to me.
I was ecstatic. I was thrilled. This could finally be my opportunity to really find my footing, get a fresh start.
And then the question popped into my head.
"Should I ask for more money?"
I have only ever asked for more money with one job and that was because there were no benefits provided so it seemed like a fairly simple ask. I have never asked for more money due to my confidence in my skills. My lack of self-confidence has usually kept me from doing so.
But I've read plenty of articles and seen studies about this. Men are much more likely to automatically ask for more money. Men are paid more than women in general. What is it that holds women back from asking the same for themselves? For me, it's been that self confidence.
Thanks to the encouragement, advice and a pep talk from an amazing mentor, I understood that I only had one shot to ask for more money. One shot to advocate for myself. One shot to look out for my family and how I can provide for us.
And so I did it. I called back and asked for more money. I even went a little higher, I figured if they were to come back and say yes, they'd offer me less than what I wanted. I was told that HR would need to discuss it the managers and they'd get back to me.
I made this call right away in the morning. That whole day, I was on pins and needles, waiting for a call back. Nervous about what I had done. Wondering if I should have asked for less or maybe none at all?
The call came around 4:45 that afternoon. I anxiously answered the call. And then I heard something I was not expecting. "We can do that."
!!!!!!!
They were agreeing to give me what I asked for! The emotion that washed over me at that moment... wow.
Not only was there a big relief of knowing how much I'll be able to support my family by myself, but there was this huge feeling of satisfaction and a self-confidence boost. Not only had I taken a chance to advocate for myself, I was shown that they believe enough in my skills and what I can bring to the company to give it to me. I can't explain the awesomeness of that feeling.
For the first time in - who knows? forever maybe? - I was bursting with self-confidence. I was proud of myself. I felt respected as a professional.
And it was over the next 12+ hours that I came to realize - why shouldn't I always feel like this? Why do I continue to doubt myself and my skills? Obviously I still have a lot to learn and I will make mistakes. But I shouldn't dwell on that, especially if it hasn't happened yet. We all make mistakes. But we should be confident in our mistakes, taking it as a learning opportunity.
I got ready that next morning jamming out to the "Bad Moms" soundtrack which was probably the perfect playlist I needed. And here's where that page turn happened. I have the opportunity to go into this new job with a completely different attitude. I can walk in there confident. I can walk in knowing I'm valued. And because of that, I'll walk in there wanting and eager to do the best job I possibly can.
I wrote at the beginning of the year that 2017 was going to be the Year of Me. The Year of Liz. And while I plan on doing a recap at the end of the year to determine if I think it was a successful year of that or not, I think I've realized what my next step should be. And that next step should be to work on boosting my self-confidence. To take pride in myself and my work.
I'm only starting to realize how much of a difference something like self-confidence can make.
 |
| http://mindingherbusiness.co/ebook/ |
Monday, September 9, 2013
Identity Crisis
I'm not sure 27 is old enough to have a mid-life crisis, so maybe I'm just having an identity crisis. I've had a lot of time to think lately, during feedings and nap times, while applying for jobs. And I'm struggling to figure out my place in this world.
I've written about this before, it's not the first time I've had this struggle. I'm not sure what my passion in life is. With a degree in Communications, it allows me to do a wide variety of things when it comes to finding a job. And that's part of the reason why I majored in Communications. In fact, my fellow comm arts majors and I would joke that the only reason why we're majoring in communications is because we don't know what we want to do in life. But I guess there's some truth in that too.
I don't know what I want to do in life.
I haven't found my calling, my vocation - the thing that Wartburg was suppose to help you find. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Even when I get asked that question - if you could do anything in the world, your dream job, what would it be? - I don't know what to answer.
I envy those who know what their calling and their passion in life is. My husband, for one. He's a talented, amazing, passionate music teacher. He knows that this is what he should be doing. He's great at his job, he has the passion, the energy, the drive. There's no doubt in his mind that this isn't what he should be doing with his life. Not that he doesn't have his bad days, or even weeks. Everyone does. My sister is another. She just started her first calling as a Pastor in Northern Minnesota. She knows that God has called her to that role. And for that type of job, you have to know that is was a calling from God. And when you see her in her element, you can see she's doing what she should be doing.
Now, don't get me wrong. I've enjoyed my past jobs. At Kruger, I loved the variety and multiple aspects and projects of the job. I even loved working with farmers. :) But there was not really any room to move up at that job, unless I was willing to relocate to St. Louis and that was something I didn't want to do. And looking at the company now, the marketing department is no longer there. I would have either had to move to St. Louis or lost my job. And I have to say that looking back and remembering the struggle it was to leave that job and move to Western Iowa so Austin could start his first job, God's plan is amazing.
At UNO, I loved the people I worked with. And I really enjoyed going out and talking to students about UNO and education, helping them make important decisions about their future. And now looking at that, it's a little ironic my job was to help others start working towards their plans for future careers when I didn't know what my future holds! But that job required a lot of travel and that wasn't something I wanted to do forever either. And moving up in higher education is hard without a Masters degree and even then, opportunities are someone limited unless you're willing to move to find them.
So would I like to continue to work in higher education? Yes, possibly. But I'm not in a place where I want to go back to school right now. And in that case, I don't know what I would get a Masters degree in either. Would I like to find work in marketing or communications? Sure, but I haven't found that actual job or industry that I feel really passionate about.
The other thing I struggle with is achievements. When I look around to my peers, people that I've graduated with or have even graduated after me, some of them are in great jobs that they're really passionate about. And some of them are in really great positions, i.e. managers, directors, etc. I look at myself and doubt my skills - would I be able to be in a position like that? I feel like I haven't had opportunities to prove (mostly to myself) if I could or not. Or maybe I haven't tried hard enough. Or maybe I'm really just not good enough. But I feel jealous of those people. Not only because they're doing something they love, but because they've been successful when I haven't. It makes me feel like a failure.
Someone recently posted an article on Facebook titled "Five Lies every Twenty-something Needs to Stop Believing". And I'm not going to lie, I think it was posted for me. I needed to read it. I need to re-read it. Again and again. It made a lot of good points about struggling, success and feeling like a failure. And so it was a great reminder. I'm only 27. I have a lot of life ahead of me still. I can still do great things. But then I'm back to... what is it that I'm suppose to be doing in life to do those great things?
I've recently become a mother. And for the past 10 weeks, I've spent every day, and almost every hour, with my precious baby. And for the past 10 weeks, I have loved every day. There were certainly times when I was stressed out and overwhelmed with taking care of a baby, but I still loved it. I love being a mom. I love having someone little, who is so dependent on me, to take care of. I love watching him grow and change every day. I love interacting with him. I love teaching him. I love loving him.
I think that I would love to be a stay at home mom. I would love to stay at home everyday with my baby boy. Being able to spend that precious time with him day in and day out. Help him grow. Teach him how to walk, how to talk. To see every moment happen. That's what I think I would love. But unfortunately, it's just not realistic. We need two incomes. If only I could get paid to be a mom. Let's be real, I'd be a millionaire because I'm such an awesome mom. ;-)
So I've had a couple interviews. Some with jobs I think I would really enjoying doing and others for jobs that I could most certainly do, but might not fully enjoy. I haven't gotten any job offers yet though and every time I get a phone call or email saying "no thanks" or "we've gone a different direction", I get that feeling of failure again. And I know God has a plan, I do. If I had gotten any of the jobs I had earlier interviews for, I would already be back to work. Instead I've gotten to spend more time with my little man. And so I'm confident that something is going to come along. And I'm confident that it will be what I'm suppose to be doing right now. But will it be my calling? My passion? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe time will tell.
But I'm definitely learning how to be patient. Job searching tests my patience every day. Putting in applications and then waiting. Getting an interview and then waiting. Always waiting. And I'm not a very patient person. So each day I remind myself - patience, Liz, patience. God has a plan. God will provide. It can get very overwhelming, especially as my maternity leave is coming to an end. So again, I say to myself - it will all work out. God knows what He's doing. Even when he doesn't tell me! :)
And so here I am. Waiting to find a job. Waiting for my calling. Waiting to find my place in this world. Waiting.
But while I wait, I'll go spend some more time with that cute baby of mine.
I've written about this before, it's not the first time I've had this struggle. I'm not sure what my passion in life is. With a degree in Communications, it allows me to do a wide variety of things when it comes to finding a job. And that's part of the reason why I majored in Communications. In fact, my fellow comm arts majors and I would joke that the only reason why we're majoring in communications is because we don't know what we want to do in life. But I guess there's some truth in that too.
I don't know what I want to do in life.
I haven't found my calling, my vocation - the thing that Wartburg was suppose to help you find. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Even when I get asked that question - if you could do anything in the world, your dream job, what would it be? - I don't know what to answer.
I envy those who know what their calling and their passion in life is. My husband, for one. He's a talented, amazing, passionate music teacher. He knows that this is what he should be doing. He's great at his job, he has the passion, the energy, the drive. There's no doubt in his mind that this isn't what he should be doing with his life. Not that he doesn't have his bad days, or even weeks. Everyone does. My sister is another. She just started her first calling as a Pastor in Northern Minnesota. She knows that God has called her to that role. And for that type of job, you have to know that is was a calling from God. And when you see her in her element, you can see she's doing what she should be doing.
Now, don't get me wrong. I've enjoyed my past jobs. At Kruger, I loved the variety and multiple aspects and projects of the job. I even loved working with farmers. :) But there was not really any room to move up at that job, unless I was willing to relocate to St. Louis and that was something I didn't want to do. And looking at the company now, the marketing department is no longer there. I would have either had to move to St. Louis or lost my job. And I have to say that looking back and remembering the struggle it was to leave that job and move to Western Iowa so Austin could start his first job, God's plan is amazing.
At UNO, I loved the people I worked with. And I really enjoyed going out and talking to students about UNO and education, helping them make important decisions about their future. And now looking at that, it's a little ironic my job was to help others start working towards their plans for future careers when I didn't know what my future holds! But that job required a lot of travel and that wasn't something I wanted to do forever either. And moving up in higher education is hard without a Masters degree and even then, opportunities are someone limited unless you're willing to move to find them.
So would I like to continue to work in higher education? Yes, possibly. But I'm not in a place where I want to go back to school right now. And in that case, I don't know what I would get a Masters degree in either. Would I like to find work in marketing or communications? Sure, but I haven't found that actual job or industry that I feel really passionate about.
The other thing I struggle with is achievements. When I look around to my peers, people that I've graduated with or have even graduated after me, some of them are in great jobs that they're really passionate about. And some of them are in really great positions, i.e. managers, directors, etc. I look at myself and doubt my skills - would I be able to be in a position like that? I feel like I haven't had opportunities to prove (mostly to myself) if I could or not. Or maybe I haven't tried hard enough. Or maybe I'm really just not good enough. But I feel jealous of those people. Not only because they're doing something they love, but because they've been successful when I haven't. It makes me feel like a failure.
Someone recently posted an article on Facebook titled "Five Lies every Twenty-something Needs to Stop Believing". And I'm not going to lie, I think it was posted for me. I needed to read it. I need to re-read it. Again and again. It made a lot of good points about struggling, success and feeling like a failure. And so it was a great reminder. I'm only 27. I have a lot of life ahead of me still. I can still do great things. But then I'm back to... what is it that I'm suppose to be doing in life to do those great things?
I've recently become a mother. And for the past 10 weeks, I've spent every day, and almost every hour, with my precious baby. And for the past 10 weeks, I have loved every day. There were certainly times when I was stressed out and overwhelmed with taking care of a baby, but I still loved it. I love being a mom. I love having someone little, who is so dependent on me, to take care of. I love watching him grow and change every day. I love interacting with him. I love teaching him. I love loving him.
I think that I would love to be a stay at home mom. I would love to stay at home everyday with my baby boy. Being able to spend that precious time with him day in and day out. Help him grow. Teach him how to walk, how to talk. To see every moment happen. That's what I think I would love. But unfortunately, it's just not realistic. We need two incomes. If only I could get paid to be a mom. Let's be real, I'd be a millionaire because I'm such an awesome mom. ;-)
So I've had a couple interviews. Some with jobs I think I would really enjoying doing and others for jobs that I could most certainly do, but might not fully enjoy. I haven't gotten any job offers yet though and every time I get a phone call or email saying "no thanks" or "we've gone a different direction", I get that feeling of failure again. And I know God has a plan, I do. If I had gotten any of the jobs I had earlier interviews for, I would already be back to work. Instead I've gotten to spend more time with my little man. And so I'm confident that something is going to come along. And I'm confident that it will be what I'm suppose to be doing right now. But will it be my calling? My passion? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe time will tell.
But I'm definitely learning how to be patient. Job searching tests my patience every day. Putting in applications and then waiting. Getting an interview and then waiting. Always waiting. And I'm not a very patient person. So each day I remind myself - patience, Liz, patience. God has a plan. God will provide. It can get very overwhelming, especially as my maternity leave is coming to an end. So again, I say to myself - it will all work out. God knows what He's doing. Even when he doesn't tell me! :)
And so here I am. Waiting to find a job. Waiting for my calling. Waiting to find my place in this world. Waiting.
But while I wait, I'll go spend some more time with that cute baby of mine.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Money - who wants to give us some? :)
So we've started taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University courses through our church in Oakland. This will be our third week. It's a thirteen week course, so you know, pretty intense. :) I was a little nervous before going to our first class for a couple of reasons.
One, I heard we had homework and I wasn't sure I was okay with that. (Turns out, homework hasn't been too tough!) Two, I was nervous that it was going to be really boring. Luckily, Dave Ramsey is a really fun guy to listen to, very easy to listen to and that first hour goes by incredibly fast. He knows how to add in the humor when needed and he talked in a way that's easily understandable. The second hour we have a group discussion. This hour also goes by pretty quickly - we take turns discussing the answers to questions poised in the book and we also spend some time sharing our stories. After last week's class, I walked out of it feeling that not only is this a financial planning type of counseling, it could also be seen as couples counseling. :)
Even with just the first two classes under our belt, I really feel like we're learning a lot. I really feel like Austin and I are going to be able to get our life on the right track financially. It might take a little time, but we'll get there. We're also learning some key ideas on how to raise our kids to be financially successful someday.
I will tell you one thing though that's maybe a bit ironic. The first thing you see when you watch that first video is people getting asked a question: "What would you do if you had a $5000 emergency?" The answers all vary but it's to teach you the importance of having an emergency fund available. And three weeks into our course, I wish we would have had that fund. There have been two major events within a week and half of each other that have taken quite a bite out of our account.
First, Austin needed to get his wisdom teeth pulled. He's been told for a long time that they've needed to come out, so we probably should have looked into everything a long time ago. But we didn't. We waited until Austin was in enough pain he didn't want to take it anymore, and scheduled the procedure. Well, if you don't know, they make you put down a pretty hefty "deposit" before the procedure actually begins. I suppose we could have been saving up for this.
The second event we couldn't really see coming. But it was just like any other Midwestern day, the snow was falling, the roads were crappy and busy with morning commuters. And before I know it, I find myself hit by another vehicle. Luckily I was not hurt and neither was the other driver. It wasn't on the interstate so we weren't going too fast either. But it is definitely an unexpected (and unwanted) cost that we now have to take care of. We're hoping that the other guy's insurance will take liability and be able to cut us a check, but it probably won't be until after we've already had to pay out.
And finally, we still need to file our taxes. Actually we need to determine if we're going to go talk to someone or just try to figure out the whole live-in-one-state, work-in-another-state thing. And also trying to determine if it'll be better to file separately or together. After we had to pay to the state of Iowa last year, we were hoping for some good news this year. But after we started filing our taxes, things weren't looking too promising.
Money can be great. When you have it. Although I've heard having too much can be a burden too. So I don't want a lot of money. I just want enough money. And money can suck. And it seems that when something is going to happen, it's all going to happen together. When it rain, it pours. Or - when it snows, you get in a car accident. Ha.
But it's important to remember that money is not everything. Money does not determine who we are. And money does not determine our success. Our thoughts, beliefs and actions determine who we are. Our success is defined by so much more than money. And our family and friends are everything.
So to you - our family and friends - thank you. For who you are. For what you do. For being a part of our lives. You are the most important. But, if you do have any extra money lying around... we'd be more than happy to take some of it for you. :)
One, I heard we had homework and I wasn't sure I was okay with that. (Turns out, homework hasn't been too tough!) Two, I was nervous that it was going to be really boring. Luckily, Dave Ramsey is a really fun guy to listen to, very easy to listen to and that first hour goes by incredibly fast. He knows how to add in the humor when needed and he talked in a way that's easily understandable. The second hour we have a group discussion. This hour also goes by pretty quickly - we take turns discussing the answers to questions poised in the book and we also spend some time sharing our stories. After last week's class, I walked out of it feeling that not only is this a financial planning type of counseling, it could also be seen as couples counseling. :)
Even with just the first two classes under our belt, I really feel like we're learning a lot. I really feel like Austin and I are going to be able to get our life on the right track financially. It might take a little time, but we'll get there. We're also learning some key ideas on how to raise our kids to be financially successful someday.
I will tell you one thing though that's maybe a bit ironic. The first thing you see when you watch that first video is people getting asked a question: "What would you do if you had a $5000 emergency?" The answers all vary but it's to teach you the importance of having an emergency fund available. And three weeks into our course, I wish we would have had that fund. There have been two major events within a week and half of each other that have taken quite a bite out of our account.
First, Austin needed to get his wisdom teeth pulled. He's been told for a long time that they've needed to come out, so we probably should have looked into everything a long time ago. But we didn't. We waited until Austin was in enough pain he didn't want to take it anymore, and scheduled the procedure. Well, if you don't know, they make you put down a pretty hefty "deposit" before the procedure actually begins. I suppose we could have been saving up for this.
The second event we couldn't really see coming. But it was just like any other Midwestern day, the snow was falling, the roads were crappy and busy with morning commuters. And before I know it, I find myself hit by another vehicle. Luckily I was not hurt and neither was the other driver. It wasn't on the interstate so we weren't going too fast either. But it is definitely an unexpected (and unwanted) cost that we now have to take care of. We're hoping that the other guy's insurance will take liability and be able to cut us a check, but it probably won't be until after we've already had to pay out.
And finally, we still need to file our taxes. Actually we need to determine if we're going to go talk to someone or just try to figure out the whole live-in-one-state, work-in-another-state thing. And also trying to determine if it'll be better to file separately or together. After we had to pay to the state of Iowa last year, we were hoping for some good news this year. But after we started filing our taxes, things weren't looking too promising.
Money can be great. When you have it. Although I've heard having too much can be a burden too. So I don't want a lot of money. I just want enough money. And money can suck. And it seems that when something is going to happen, it's all going to happen together. When it rain, it pours. Or - when it snows, you get in a car accident. Ha.
But it's important to remember that money is not everything. Money does not determine who we are. And money does not determine our success. Our thoughts, beliefs and actions determine who we are. Our success is defined by so much more than money. And our family and friends are everything.
So to you - our family and friends - thank you. For who you are. For what you do. For being a part of our lives. You are the most important. But, if you do have any extra money lying around... we'd be more than happy to take some of it for you. :)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
I have no fancy title for this one...
You know, sometimes I'm just not good at keeping up with regular blog posts. Not that it really matters because I don't know who really reads these. But I feel like sometimes I have so much to say that I'll have like three blog posts I'll want to put up all within like three days. Other times, like now, I have nothing to say for a month. Oh well, such is life I suppose. We don't always have blog-worthy events going on at home!
But since it has been a month, I figured I better update you all on our life! January was a good month for us. Nothing too big or exciting but I would say a pretty good start to the new year. AJ got quickly back into the swing of things at school, preparing for upcoming solo/ensemble contest and then large group contest later down the road. Although I think I speak for AJ and probably all the kids at school, that because of the mild winter we've been having, they're a little disappointed that they haven't had any snow days yet this year! But who knows, winter could definitely still come and surprise us! We'll just have to wait and see.
AJ did get some exciting news a couple of weeks ago though about a possible summer job! There is a community theater in Macedonia, which is just about 10 minutes down the road from Oakland and part of the school district. They are putting on a summer production of "Annie" and want AJ to be the musical director! It should be a great gig for him too! The performances would be at the end of June so he'd be able to get some extra cash and still have the month of July to relax and enjoy his summer vacation. Plus, AJ is is exciting for the experience, to meet some new people, network and to get in some practice before he has to put on another musical next fall at the high school.
AJ also got some other news a couple of weeks ago, although I'm not sure this one is as exciting. AJ has to get his wisdom teeth removed. They've been bothering him for a while and I think he's ready to have them out! So we go in this Friday for the procedure. And then I will get to spend all weekend taking care of him! :) I'm a little excited to see if he swells up and looks like a cute chipmunk! haha But in all seriousness, your thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated that the procedure goes well and for a fast recovery! We all know how much AJ loves to talk so hopefully he'll be back up and talking again shortly afterwards! :)
Things at my job are going great right now as well. It's starting to pick up and get busy again. I'll be visiting high schools here starting next month and doing some college fairs in March. While the spring is definitely quieter than my fall travel season, I'll still be plenty busy. Another great thing about my job is that I still have my job! When I first started, a year ago as of January 18th (woot!), it was only for a one year temporary position. Thankfully it was extended for another year and hopefully I'll even be hired on in a full time position - at least that's what we're working on! :) I also have to say that I've been very thankful for the mild winter so far. With my drive being a lot longer than AJ's into work, I'm glad we haven't really had any nasty weather. It's made my commute much more easier!
AJ and I are also trying to get a head of our finances. Even after two years of marriage, there are still things that surprise us, or that we argue about when it comes to finances. I think it's probably a struggle for a lot of people. So we're taking some financial planning courses. Maybe you've heard of Dave Rasmey, but he has these Financial Peace University courses that are taught all over the country. And there's actually a class taking place at the church in Oakland that we attend. So starting tomorrow, Feb. 1st, we'll be attending a 13-week course. It should be pretty interesting and hopefully we'll learn a lot and get a lot out of it. Maybe we'll even figure out how to do our taxes! I have to say that when this time comes every year it makes me nervous. I hate filing taxes. You never know what to expect. And this year is even more difficult with me working in one state and living in another. I think the whole process is entirely too difficult for the average person to understand. So I think AJ and I might just bite the bullet and meet with someone to help us this year.
Well, that's about it. That's all we've been up to recently. More to come as soon as more happens. :)
But since it has been a month, I figured I better update you all on our life! January was a good month for us. Nothing too big or exciting but I would say a pretty good start to the new year. AJ got quickly back into the swing of things at school, preparing for upcoming solo/ensemble contest and then large group contest later down the road. Although I think I speak for AJ and probably all the kids at school, that because of the mild winter we've been having, they're a little disappointed that they haven't had any snow days yet this year! But who knows, winter could definitely still come and surprise us! We'll just have to wait and see.
AJ did get some exciting news a couple of weeks ago though about a possible summer job! There is a community theater in Macedonia, which is just about 10 minutes down the road from Oakland and part of the school district. They are putting on a summer production of "Annie" and want AJ to be the musical director! It should be a great gig for him too! The performances would be at the end of June so he'd be able to get some extra cash and still have the month of July to relax and enjoy his summer vacation. Plus, AJ is is exciting for the experience, to meet some new people, network and to get in some practice before he has to put on another musical next fall at the high school.
AJ also got some other news a couple of weeks ago, although I'm not sure this one is as exciting. AJ has to get his wisdom teeth removed. They've been bothering him for a while and I think he's ready to have them out! So we go in this Friday for the procedure. And then I will get to spend all weekend taking care of him! :) I'm a little excited to see if he swells up and looks like a cute chipmunk! haha But in all seriousness, your thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated that the procedure goes well and for a fast recovery! We all know how much AJ loves to talk so hopefully he'll be back up and talking again shortly afterwards! :)
Things at my job are going great right now as well. It's starting to pick up and get busy again. I'll be visiting high schools here starting next month and doing some college fairs in March. While the spring is definitely quieter than my fall travel season, I'll still be plenty busy. Another great thing about my job is that I still have my job! When I first started, a year ago as of January 18th (woot!), it was only for a one year temporary position. Thankfully it was extended for another year and hopefully I'll even be hired on in a full time position - at least that's what we're working on! :) I also have to say that I've been very thankful for the mild winter so far. With my drive being a lot longer than AJ's into work, I'm glad we haven't really had any nasty weather. It's made my commute much more easier!
AJ and I are also trying to get a head of our finances. Even after two years of marriage, there are still things that surprise us, or that we argue about when it comes to finances. I think it's probably a struggle for a lot of people. So we're taking some financial planning courses. Maybe you've heard of Dave Rasmey, but he has these Financial Peace University courses that are taught all over the country. And there's actually a class taking place at the church in Oakland that we attend. So starting tomorrow, Feb. 1st, we'll be attending a 13-week course. It should be pretty interesting and hopefully we'll learn a lot and get a lot out of it. Maybe we'll even figure out how to do our taxes! I have to say that when this time comes every year it makes me nervous. I hate filing taxes. You never know what to expect. And this year is even more difficult with me working in one state and living in another. I think the whole process is entirely too difficult for the average person to understand. So I think AJ and I might just bite the bullet and meet with someone to help us this year.
Well, that's about it. That's all we've been up to recently. More to come as soon as more happens. :)
Friday, August 5, 2011
A year ago...
It's hard to believe but it's been a year since we first moved to Western Iowa. Last year this time we had just become Council Bluffs residents. I remember how different and foreign everything seemed back then! Now this place is very much a part of us.
This past weekend we made yet another move. We swear this is going to be the last for a while! :) And we've made our home Oakland, Iowa. We're really looking forward to all the benefits of living in a small town and living in the school district! Plus, we love our new apartment! A big thanks to all the help we had and made the move quickly and smoothly! I must say, it's much easier carrying things down three flights of stairs, rather than up! And we have everything in our new apartment and a majority of things unpacked already! Again, we are so grateful for all of our family that came and helped us!
I know that this is the last thing you're suppose to do, but I'm wishing away August. And I'm sure most people will think I'm crazy and believe that's the last thing they'd want to do - wish away the last month of summer before a crazy and busy fall/school year starts again?! Yes... And as much as I'm looking forward to this new school year (for both AJ and myself) that's not the reason I'm wishing for September. I love summer and I am sad to see it leave. But AJ and I are paying dual rent this month - necessary in order to get our lovely new apartment and while we have the money to do that, we don't have money to do anything else. haha We're both so looking forward to the month of September and getting back on track with our finances. Being able to pay a lower rent and with both of us seeing a little bit of a pay increase at our jobs, we're looking forward to being able to start putting away some money into our savings account again! And we're going to especially need to start saving if my family is planning a "last" family vacation next summer to Harry Potter World! :)
But other than those reasons, I am sad to see summer come to an end. It's been a great summer for both AJ and I and I think we've been fortunate enough to be able to see quite a bit of our families as well, which is something we always look forward to. This fall will be a new experience for both of us though! AJ will be in his second year of teaching and is excited to go back with a year under his belt. I know he's already got some big plans in place and is excited with the growth of his high school choir. This fall is also really going to teach me about the aspects of my job because it is our busiest recruiting season. I will be on the road a lot to high school visits and college fairs. While I'm use to traveling for my job, I think this is going to be more than what I've done in the past. But I truly am excited for it and ready to start talking to high schoolers about UNO!
AJ is heading to Waverly this weekend to go back to Wartburg for a few days and he's taking some Riverside students with him! They're heading there on Saturday for a three day All-State Music Camp! I know AJ is so excited to bring them back to Wartburg and to also see some of his fellow music teachers/friends. I'll be eager to hear what the students thought about Wartburg as well! :) So I'm going to spend the weekend enjoying the new apartment to myself, finishing unpacking some boxes and getting things in place. I'll get some pictures taken and posted soon so you can all see our new digs! :)
This past weekend we made yet another move. We swear this is going to be the last for a while! :) And we've made our home Oakland, Iowa. We're really looking forward to all the benefits of living in a small town and living in the school district! Plus, we love our new apartment! A big thanks to all the help we had and made the move quickly and smoothly! I must say, it's much easier carrying things down three flights of stairs, rather than up! And we have everything in our new apartment and a majority of things unpacked already! Again, we are so grateful for all of our family that came and helped us!
I know that this is the last thing you're suppose to do, but I'm wishing away August. And I'm sure most people will think I'm crazy and believe that's the last thing they'd want to do - wish away the last month of summer before a crazy and busy fall/school year starts again?! Yes... And as much as I'm looking forward to this new school year (for both AJ and myself) that's not the reason I'm wishing for September. I love summer and I am sad to see it leave. But AJ and I are paying dual rent this month - necessary in order to get our lovely new apartment and while we have the money to do that, we don't have money to do anything else. haha We're both so looking forward to the month of September and getting back on track with our finances. Being able to pay a lower rent and with both of us seeing a little bit of a pay increase at our jobs, we're looking forward to being able to start putting away some money into our savings account again! And we're going to especially need to start saving if my family is planning a "last" family vacation next summer to Harry Potter World! :)
But other than those reasons, I am sad to see summer come to an end. It's been a great summer for both AJ and I and I think we've been fortunate enough to be able to see quite a bit of our families as well, which is something we always look forward to. This fall will be a new experience for both of us though! AJ will be in his second year of teaching and is excited to go back with a year under his belt. I know he's already got some big plans in place and is excited with the growth of his high school choir. This fall is also really going to teach me about the aspects of my job because it is our busiest recruiting season. I will be on the road a lot to high school visits and college fairs. While I'm use to traveling for my job, I think this is going to be more than what I've done in the past. But I truly am excited for it and ready to start talking to high schoolers about UNO!
AJ is heading to Waverly this weekend to go back to Wartburg for a few days and he's taking some Riverside students with him! They're heading there on Saturday for a three day All-State Music Camp! I know AJ is so excited to bring them back to Wartburg and to also see some of his fellow music teachers/friends. I'll be eager to hear what the students thought about Wartburg as well! :) So I'm going to spend the weekend enjoying the new apartment to myself, finishing unpacking some boxes and getting things in place. I'll get some pictures taken and posted soon so you can all see our new digs! :)
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