One Year Later

I have officially been at the YMCA for a year now. My annual review paperwork has confirmed this. :) I can still remember coming across the job opening on Facebook... Graphic Design and Marketing Director. I felt a pull, a call to a "real adult job". I quickly applied and when it took awhile to get back to me after the interview, I started to fear I didn't get the job. It was then how much I realized I really wanted a shot at this position, to better myself and to get back to doing more of what I love. But I did indeed get the job. And this first year on the job has been like none I have ever experienced, nothing I could have imagined, and completely amazing. 

Going back real quick to my "real adult job" comment... I've been in the professional world for over 10 years now. I've held a number of jobs - some I've loved and others I've tolerated. I have been fortunate to work across a number of sectors and have learned a great deal. But many of those jobs were for coordinators or assistants. There's nothing wrong with this and this is how you learn and grow as a professional. This job at the YMCA felt like it could be my first grown-up job. Obviously that's silly since I've been an adult for some time now, but I felt more importance tied to this role, more responsibility, more leadership. And in all honesty, I finally felt that I was ready for this type of role, this higher position.

Looking back at previous jobs, I can see how they were all the right job for that particular time in my life. Looking back, I can see how much I grew and learned from those previous jobs. Each one, each supervisor, each co-worker played an important part in my journey. And I am so grateful for that. 

Four years at Wartburg College drilled into my head this idea of finding my calling. And since I've graduated, I've struggled with that idea. I've struggled to put a name and identity to my calling, my vocation. It wasn't until 2015 that I thought "I think I've found it." It was then I got a job doing communications for a local nonprofit. Not only did I love the work I was doing, I felt like I had a purpose in life. My work was helping others. That was one thing that always seemed to be missing previously. I loved that job. Unfortunately, for a few reasons, there came a time where I needed to find something else for awhile. 

So when this job opened up, I saw it as an opening back into the nonprofit world. A world that I had missed, a world where I felt purpose. After a year on the job, I have that feeling again - that feeling of purpose, of meaning. It makes the work I do so much more enjoyable. 

One of the best parts of my Graphic Design and Marketing Director position is the variety. This is what I've always enjoyed about most of my jobs - that every day looks completely different, not the same thing every single day. And this job seems to be the best compilation of skills needed. So in case you have no idea what it is exactly that I do, let me take a minute to tell you... 

I get to be creative!! I spend my days creating graphics for social medias, flyers, events, brochures and program guides. I am the official Y photographer for all programs, events and every day activities. I write - letters, emails, newsletters, press releases, various content for marketing pieces, etc. I manage the upkeep of our website, which always seems to need updating. I manage mailing lists and advertising information. I've done more video producing this year than in my past 10 years combined. I help manage our social media accounts. I've become the point of contact for our new reservation system and mobile app. I make sure everything is following the Y's brand standards. I provide marketing support not only for the Y, but for the many programs we offer - mentoring, camp, preschool, STRIDE, fitness and wellness, aquatics, after-school, membership, the skate park, our annual campaign, etc. 

I keep busy. I often have a long list of projects that need to be completed. My door is always open as people tend to just stop in my office when they have a new request. I'm always multi-tasking on a few different things. But let me be very clear here: I love it.

I love the busyness. I love the long lists of projects. I love the challenge of having much to accomplish. I love the feeling of finishing a project or a job well done. 

After a month or so on the job, I found myself getting into a groove. I was finding my footing, making plans for what I wanted the role to look like moving forward. I had some new ideas and great momentum working with our marketing committee. But by March of this year, everything got derailed. 

Suddenly, I was doing a job I had no idea how to do; a job I never imagined having to do. I was learning how to be a marketing director for a gym and nonprofit during a world pandemic with no previous or specific experience to rely on. Obviously, we were all in this sort of position, but that does not take away from the challenge it was. We were making adjustments in real time, finding ways to stay connected to members while our doors were closed, basically just trying to stay above water. Things I had planned couldn't happen, projects I was working on were no longer needed. It was a complete shift. Honestly, it was not the type of curveball I was expecting from my first "real adult job". :)  

Looking back on the past few months, I am proud. I'm proud of our team for everything we did and continue to do. I am proud of the work I accomplished. I'm proud of how I grew in the face of the challenges in front of me. My word of the year for 2020 is Bloom. I feel confident in saying that I feel like I have flourished in my professional world. I stepped up when it was needed and continue to produce strong work. All of this is why this job has been so amazing. I feel a sense of purpose; I feel challenged; I feel myself growing; I feel grateful for the job. I am happy. 

And on top of all of that, I work with some of the most amazing people.  

So one year later... I am as excited to come into work every day as I was on my very first day. Maybe more so! I am happy. I am fulfilled. I feel a sense of belonging. I feel like I have found my calling. 

COVID-19 March 16, 2020

It's hard to know where to start. We're living during a time like none other before. The use of social media and apps like TimeHop will be helpful in remembering all the events that have led us to this current place. Because that really is a beast of its own. 

I've decided what I want to do is blog my personal experience during these COVID days. It has been insane how quickly the situation continues to change, day by day and hour by hour even. 

I was suppose to take a trip to Seattle, leaving March 26. If you were to talk to me just one week ago, I was still fairly confident that I would be going. But by Wednesday of last week, that started to falter and then it faltered quickly. We have postponed the trip. 

On Friday, Gov. Walz held a press conference letting Minnesotans know he was "opening the toolbox" to make sure we had all our tools prepared and ready to go when we need them. By Sunday, he held another conference to state that all schools would close by Wed. March 18 for two weeks for educators to prepare for long-distance learning. Tonight he's announced certain closures for bars, restaurants and other businesses. It is a crazy, crazy time. 

For me, I work at the YMCA. I'm the Marketing Director. It's a whole team of... well, me. I have to admit that it wasn't until Friday of last week that I realized, "hey, I'm the one that's responsible for coordinating and managing all of our communication out to members as the Y makes some tough decisions!" Ha ha. I can honestly say that I never imagined being in charge of an organization's communication and marketing plan during a worldwide pandemic. Why don't they teach you to prepare for that sort of stuff in college?!? 

The days are not necessarily 9-5 right now. (even now I can hear my phone chiming with the sound of incoming emails...) Some of the excitement started in on Sunday night, needing to make some announcements. And it extended into today. I have to add here that today was, if possible, even more chaotic than it could have been. Our Executive Director was home with the flu (awful timing!) and another senior manager was on her way back from out East. It's hard to make decisions when some of your leadership isn't readily available. But, we made it work. 

But once we decided what we finally wanted to say, we weren't ready for the questions we were going to get. It was a reminder of just how difficult and confusing this time is right now - for everyone. There is no roadmap, no template on how to do this. We're making it up as we go. 

Many of the questions we were getting was about membership. For our already busy membership director, things were going to get worse. And so one of the accomplishments I was proud of today was creating a standard response that could be sent to all members, directing them to our website where they were asked to fill out a form with their specific membership update request. We got the form created and online and are hopeful that it will help us process the requests in a more timely manner. 

I also needed to add a section to our webpage where we could continue to update members on different programming and such. One central location they can go to see everything we've had to say so far, and see how quickly it continues to change. 

Tomorrow, we plan to create some sort of form that will work for our different programs as well. Anything to make this process a bit smoother. 

I also sent out a social media plan to the office staff, asking them to start brainstorming some specific ideas for their areas on how we can stay present on social media while the Y is closed. 

It was an exhausting day. And it made me realize that if this was an exhausting day for me, I can't even imagine what it's been like and what it's going to continue to be like for our healthcare professionals, for our elected and community leaders, for those that continue to work on the frontlines of this. All I can do is lift those people up in prayer and ask God to provide them the strength they need. 

Today was also Jacob's first day with no school. Luckily his Aunt Meg is home for a couple of days and was able to take care of today. Once we got word that schools were closing, we started to plan some activities for Jacob. I downloaded some learning apps on the tablet. He was so excited to "homeschool". He said Meg was the teacher and that Papa was the principal. But that he didn't want to be sent to the principal's office (which was the bedroom because Papa is currently out with a cold). Haha. 

Even this morning, when I was in the shower, he came into the bathroom and sat on the floor with the tablet and said, "I'm so excited to learn!" He's too cute. 

But Megan did a great job with him today. They stuck to a schedule, Jacob had limited screen time and they even did the Doodles with Mo Willems! How fun! 

I've been extremely impressed by the number of companies offering up free online educational services, or virtual museum tours, or fun activities to help with the kids while they're home. Social media is proving to be a key factor in keeping us all connected while we're not together. 

From PAH to EB

And just like that, it's all different. 

Last Wednesday was my last day at Partners for Affordable Housing. It honestly didn't really hit me until about 4:45pm that I wouldn't be coming back the next morning. Looking back over the past two years, I am so thankful for the experience I had and gained at PAH. 

PAH brought me back to the community I grew up in. It helped increase my self-worth and self-confidence. It gave me a chance for my creativity to grow and shine. It introduced me to some amazing and incredible people. PAH brought to attention a huge need in our community and a desire to help fight for that cause. It even helped strengthen my muscles with all the furniture moving. :) 

My time at PAH was exactly what I needed, when I needed it. It's crazy to look back and be able to see how that happens. (But God always knows what He's doing!)  I needed to be involved with a type of work that provided purpose and meaning. I needed the chance to really let my wings grow. I needed to have those people in my life, both personally and professionally.  

Deciding to leave PAH was a hard choice. So incredibly hard. I realized that this is the first time in my career that I decided to leave a job that I really love on my own terms. I obviously have reasons why I was looking elsewhere, but that did not make having to tell my team I was leaving any easier. It's a strange feeling. 

To my PAH family: I'm not even sure what I can say about the past two years. Thank you. Thank you for the fun and crazy work experiences. Thank you for being such a supportive group. Thank you for your friendships that have grown over the past two years. Thank you for your humor and your jokes. Thank you for your huge and caring hearts. Thank you for the work that you do for our community. There is truly nothing else like being a part of the PAH family. And I'm glad that we keep the family growing and that we can't get rid of each other. :) I am excited to continue to work with you all in this new capacity. And I'm excited that our friendships will be able to continue to grow. #PAHlife forever!! 

And then, it was Thursday morning. My first day at Eide Bailly. My first day at EB was.... one for the books. It also had me reflecting on my first week with PAH... Within a couple days of starting, I was already in paint clothes, painting an upstairs apartment with my new co-workers, in the summer heat with no AC. My first day at EB did not quite include that much hard labor! :) 

I arrived at Eide Bailly at 8:30. I received a very quick (and partial) office tour, I was out the door by 8:45 and headed to St. Peter for a recruiting fair for accounting students at Gustavus. I spent the morning learning about what EB has to offer accounting students for their internship options and probably could have given the spiel myself before the morning ended. I was back at the office around 12:30 and had lunch with the Office Coordinator. I spent the next couple of hours going over the new hire paperwork. I finally had a chance to get back to my desk around 2:45 and had some time to read through all that paperwork and explore some of the training information online. I realized I should open my email and see if there was anything and there were 30 emails waiting for me. Then at 3:45 I was headed downtown for an Estate Planners event where I spent the rest of my day acting as bartender. 

Everyone kept promising me that every day was not like this. I'm not sure if I should believe them. :) But honestly, it was a great way to start a new job. Jumping right in, getting a feel for things. There is a huge learning curve as I start to learn as much as I can about this new industry and how to market it. It was nice to know that I can still jump in and do some things right away! And to everyone's credit, Friday was a much more relaxed day. I had a chance to work on some projects, continuing reviewing the training information but also familiarizing myself with the different tools that I'll be using and learning that new information. 

I also had a chance to go out to lunch with my new Marketing team. I can honestly say that I think this is going to be a good fit. They're a great group of people, eager for me to start doing more and more than willing to help me understand everything. It will also be a chance for me to grow professionally with some of the things I'll be doing. My position is a newly created position and I'll be working between three different areas. So it will be interesting to see how the job grows as I learn to manage my time between these areas and learn how to prioritize between them. But if there's one thing I like, it's a challenge. 

It is going to take some time to adjust back into the corporate world setting. Going from a small nonprofit with seven full time employees to a company with 29 offices in 13 states and close to 80 people just in our office... it makes things interesting! But that's all part of the fun. Everyone I have met so far has been super nice. 

I'm excited for this new step. I'm excited to see what it will bring. I'm excited to continue to meet more new people. I'm just excited. :) 

To close, #EideLike to say that I'm thankful for this new opportunity. Let's go! 

Confidence

I feel like a page has been turned. 

**knocking on wood** I don't want to jinx this. 

You know those moments in life that leave you a bit in awe? Those moments that you know are going to a defining moment of your life? 

I think I'm having one of those. 

But let's back up a little first...

I think I've always struggled with my self-confidence. In all areas, but particularly when it comes to my performance at work. It's always been there some, but I had one bad experience at a job that left what little self-confidence I did have pretty much shattered. I struggled for a long time after that. Questioning everything... my purpose; my calling; my past work performances... 

Fast forward about a year and I find a job that I absolutely love. A job back in the field of communications but also working with volunteers and working for an organization that every day was making the difference in people's lives. 

I needed that job. I needed the feeling of purpose. I needed the feeling of making a difference, of feeling accomplished. Little did I know how much I would need the amazing team that I got to work with every day. 

Looking back over the two years I've spent there, I can see some of that self-confidence starting to rebuild. I started to feel better about the work I was doing, even while knowing that it could always be more. I became proud of the work I was doing. Looking back, I can see the clearly successful events; I can see the increase in awareness on such an important issue. I love seeing our hard work recognized. 

Don't get me wrong. I still struggle with my self-confidence. I still struggle with the idea of recognizing my own ideas and promoting them as my own. Honestly, I love doing a good job, seeing the finished product, and knowing it was successful. And I don't want the credit for that. I like the behind-the-scenes aspect. But why shouldn't I own up to my ideas, especially the good ones? 

For example, just recently, I was in a event planning committee meeting. I made a comment along these lines... "At the United Way Kickoff Rally, we had this idea of....." and finished explaining the idea. My ED immediately said, "No, that was your idea and I really like it!" Why is it so hard for me to take credit, to take ownership of my ideas? I know they won't all be good, but still. 

And so we've landed at the present time. I think I've written a bit about this previously, but I've been struggling with the idea of staying in this job I love. When I look at my life now as a single parent, the importance of financial stability and benefits are much stronger. When I look at my career path, I want to be able to see an opportunity for growth, for progress. And while I love what I do, while I love the organization and all that they stand for, while I love my team and the amazing work and difference they make every day, I came to understand that personally, I needed more. 

I started applying for jobs when I saw something that sounded interesting. Obviously I was looking for jobs that would provide an increase when it came to benefits and financial stability. I was looking for jobs where I could see an opportunity to promotion and growth. 

One day, I saw a job posting. It was a marketing job back in the corporate world. It was with a company I was somewhat familiar with through our nonprofit work. The more I researched the company, the more I saw a company that wants to give back to the communities it serves. I had seen this personally. I saw a company that promotes learning and growth. I saw opportunity. 

Going through the interview process only confirmed all of this. I was told about how the company promotes a healthy work/life balance and how they offer their employees time to volunteer and match donations given. I was walked through a benefits package with benefits that I had completely forgotten even existed but will be so valuable to me as a single mom. It was a lengthy interview process with quite a bit of paperwork, but I saw the value in everything and understood that the company wants to invest in the right person. I was super intrigued. 

I spoke to no one (almost) about the interview. I told no one who I was interviewing with. Deep down, I wanted it too badly but didn't want to get my hopes up by sharing it with everyone when I had no idea if the job would be mine. 

Then the call came. 

The job was offered to me. 

I was ecstatic. I was thrilled. This could finally be my opportunity to really find my footing, get a fresh start.
And then the question popped into my head. 

"Should I ask for more money?" 

I have only ever asked for more money with one job and that was because there were no benefits provided so it seemed like a fairly simple ask. I have never asked for more money due to my confidence in my skills. My lack of self-confidence has usually kept me from doing so. 

But I've read plenty of articles and seen studies about this. Men are much more likely to automatically ask for more money. Men are paid more than women in general. What is it that holds women back from asking the same for themselves? For me, it's been that self confidence. 

Thanks to the encouragement, advice and a pep talk from an amazing mentor, I understood that I only had one shot to ask for more money. One shot to advocate for myself. One shot to look out for my family and how I can provide for us.  

And so I did it. I called back and asked for more money. I even went a little higher, I figured if they were to come back and say yes, they'd offer me less than what I wanted. I was told that HR would need to discuss it the managers and they'd get back to me. 

I made this call right away in the morning. That whole day, I was on pins and needles, waiting for a call back. Nervous about what I had done. Wondering if I should have asked for less or maybe none at all? 

The call came around 4:45 that afternoon. I anxiously answered the call. And then I heard something I was not expecting. "We can do that." 

!!!!!!!

They were agreeing to give me what I asked for! The emotion that washed over me at that moment... wow. 

Not only was there a big relief of knowing how much I'll be able to support my family by myself, but there was this huge feeling of satisfaction and a self-confidence boost. Not only had I taken a chance to advocate for myself, I was shown that they believe enough in my skills and what I can bring to the company to give it to me. I can't explain the awesomeness of that feeling. 

For the first time in - who knows? forever maybe? - I was bursting with self-confidence. I was proud of myself. I felt respected as a professional. 

And it was over the next 12+ hours that I came to realize - why shouldn't I always feel like this? Why do I continue to doubt myself and my skills? Obviously I still have a lot to learn and I will make mistakes. But I shouldn't dwell on that, especially if it hasn't happened yet. We all make mistakes. But we should be confident in our mistakes, taking it as a learning opportunity. 

I got ready that next morning jamming out to the "Bad Moms" soundtrack which was probably the perfect playlist I needed. And here's where that page turn happened. I have the opportunity to go into this new job with a completely different attitude. I can walk in there confident. I can walk in knowing I'm valued. And because of that, I'll walk in there wanting and eager to do the best job I possibly can.

I wrote at the beginning of the year that 2017 was going to be the Year of Me. The Year of Liz. And while I plan on doing a recap at the end of the year to determine if I think it was a successful year of that or not, I think I've realized what my next step should be. And that next step should be to work on boosting my self-confidence. To take pride in myself and my work. 

I'm only starting to realize how much of a difference something like self-confidence can make. 

http://mindingherbusiness.co/ebook/

A Sense of Calling

So, some of you may know that for a long time I've struggled with this sense of a calling or passion when it came to jobs. Previous blog posts have outlined this... (Identity Crisis, Longing, Marketing & Branding and Thoughts from Bed)

I've worked at quite a few places over the past seven or so years. I think I have been successful in some and failed at a couple. At each job there were things that I loved and I have been very blessed to say that I've worked with some amazing people. But each job was missing something. Looking back, I'm not sure I could tell you exactly what it was, but it had to do with a sense of calling. 

Every time I found myself looking for new jobs (which seemed like a lot!), I would wonder: what am I doing with my life? What type of job do I want? What would fulfill me in a way that previous jobs haven't? I've always been jealous of those people to know what they're meant to be doing in life and even better, are doing it! I never had that. Each time I would apply for jobs, I would hope and pray that something would just pop out at me and say: "Liz! This is what you need to be doing! This is your job!" Needless to say, it wasn't happening. But still, I hoped. 

When GE decided to sell GE Capital, I decided I did not want to continue working collections under another company. Although I was in no big rush as there was no timeline in the sale at GE, I just started casually looking for jobs in Minnesota. Hey, no better time to move back to my home state, right? And so that's what I did. Occasionally looked for jobs, saving some, but applying to none. 

Then, what I had been praying and hoping for, finally happened. A job appeared on my screen. Communications and Volunteer Coordinator. At a non-profit. In my hometown. It was too good to be true! Being able to use my communications skills, working with volunteers, doing some good in the community and being close to my family. I started working on my application right away. 

It was seriously the only job I applied to during this time. I got a call before Memorial Day weekend asking me to come in for an interview. I stayed and talked with the director for an hour and half. I left feeling excited, feeling motivated and already brainstorming ideas. The next couple of weeks were hard, some issues pushed back the timeline and I was getting nervous that I wouldn't be offered the job. But then, the offer came. Again, with a minor set back, but I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by. I accepted. 

And now I'm here, on the job. My first two days were a whirlwind of HR paperwork and an overload of information. Partners for Affordable Housing is a fairly big organization but with a small staff. I quickly realized there was much to be done. I was overwhelmed with all the information about what we do as an organization and all the ways we help people, but also with the fact that there are so many more people we aren't helping. 

My first full week was another busy one. I learned that PAH has never really had a true Communications person on staff. A local agency generously donates time and services but this can only do so much. The organization itself has been around for a while so we have a good handle on what we do in the community. But the opportunity to tell our story - that is wide open. I have never been more excited to start a job. 

There's a lot that needs to be done before I can really begin to tell our story. Information needs to be collected, organization needs to done. I also have to figure out my time that will be spent as the Volunteer Coordinator (a job that will get busier once school is back in session). But the challenges that are before me are ones that I cannot wait to work on. I can't wait to start telling our story. I can't wait to bring more people in to volunteer and let them help share our story. I can't wait to be able to say that I am making a difference in the lives of the people we help every day. And I can't wait to say that one day, we will be able to help even more people. 

I honestly have never felt this type of excitement or passion in a job, especially right away. I have that sense of calling. That sense of passion. There is so much work to be done in our community when it comes to homelessness and the cost of living. I really want to help make a difference. I want to make people aware of these issues. I want to let people know how they can help. I feel a sense of value and purpose here. And this is what I have been missing. 

There is a lot of opportunity at Partners for Affordable Housing. Not necessarily to move up in positions, but to make a difference. To have an impact. And that is something I cannot wait to do. 

So help me get started! Like us on Facebook  and follow us on Twitter. Like and share and retweet to help us get the word out about what we do! #PAHlife 

Three Months and Everything's Changing

My little baby is three months old! And I'll say it again, time keeps moving way too fast! And I know I'm going to be saying this every time I post here! :) But it's been so much fun watching him grow and learn new things!

Jacob is becoming much more vocal, cooing at us, blowing bubbles, laughing and giggling, buzzing his lips and making random noises. And they are just the cutest things I've ever heard. I could sit and listen to him "talk" to me all day! Especially when he smiles when he talks! He's also getting much better at tummy time, not getting as mad when we put him down but sometimes even enjoying it! He's doing great at pushing himself up on his arms and looking around. And he's even been getting better at rolling over more quickly to his back! He has also rolled from his back to his tummy a few times, although he normally can't get that one arm out from under himself. But he likes to roll to his side a lot and then back to his back again. 
Jacob also loves to put things in his mouth, or try to put things in his mouth! He loves to chew and suck on his own hands. But his coordination is getting much better as well! He can pull some things towards him like blankets and certain toys, which he'll then try to put in his mouth. You can also see that he's trying to reach out and grab at toys around him. Sometimes he'll get them and others he'll just bat at them. We have a little activity chair for him that he's really starting to enjoy sitting in and play with the toys around him. 
He loves to move around all the time - laying down on his play mat, sitting on the couch or even while you're holding him. He will just kick his little legs and swing his arms all around. He's got some great strength in his legs too and is getting better at putting his weight on them when you hold him up. He's definitely going to keep us busy once he becomes mobile!
Overall, he's become much more aware of everything around him and a very active baby! He's a lot of fun to interact with now too because he'll interact back with you! We've decided he's becoming quite the charmer! Everyone who meets automatically falls in love with him! And it's easy to see why! :) 

In other news, Austin is keeping very busy at school. He's doing a fall musical and he's decided to do "Annie" this year. Rehearsals have started and performances are the first weekend in November, so they've got a lot of work to do. He's working with someone from the community to help with some of the drama so he can focus on the music side a little bit more, which is nice. He's also still learning about his students and they're trying to find a groove that fits together. The choir is very different from his choir at Riverside and so there's a learning curve. But I know, with time, they're going to find something that works and he'll be just as successful at D-NH, if not more! I think he's also enjoying teaching the third and fourth graders but would much rather be teaching middle school so he could build up the program more. We'll see if that's something he'll be able to do next year.  

And in case you haven't heard, I'm officially back in the workforce! I've started my new job as the Marketing Coordinator at Maple Manor Village in Aplington, Iowa, which is a nursing home and an assisted living home. A quick overview of what I'll be doing is of course all of their marketing (posters, ads, newsletters, etc.), event planning within the community and working on inquiries and referrals. This will actually be a good mix of my past two jobs - marketing, like I did at Kruger, and then going out into the public and being a face for the company, like I was for UNO. But this is in a totally different industry which means I have a lot to learn. But I think it's going to be a great new and exciting challenge and I'm really looking forward to working here. 

So this also means that Jacob has started daycare. We found a great in-home daycare in Dike, just two blocks from the school. It's run by a husband and wife who are both super nice. We love that it's so close to school, not too many kids, at someone's house but also still structured. I was having some pretty bad anxiety about having to leave Jacob at daycare for his first day, for a number of reasons. I had been able to spend three amazing months at home with him and those are days that I'll treasure forever. So it was going to be a big adjust me for me not to have all that time with him! I was also worried because he had been fighting sleep and would only fall asleep in my arms most of the time and I knew that was something he wouldn't be able to do at daycare. However, the first drop off wasn't nearly as bad as I originally thought. And of course Jacob did great! He's a champ! And all the other kids just loved him! They swarmed his carseat as soon as we got there! :) He's pretty much the center of attention! And daycare has been great for his sleeping habits!

Like I mentioned, Jacob was having a hard time going to sleep. He would be obviously tired but would fight it really hard. He would not fall asleep on his own, he would just cry and cry and I couldn't stand listening to him cry so hard, so I'd always go pick him up. So we tried swaddling, shushing, rocking, singing, walking, bouncing, going outside, putting him in a swing, opening the freezer door for a cool breeze... I tried it all. And it would take a combination of some of these. And then as a last result, I'd give him a little bit of gripe water and that would almost always calm him down enough for me to get him to sleep. But then I would hold him while he slept, if I tried putting him down, he'd wake up and cry. Even after just a couple of days at daycare, Jacob has been doing better. At daycare, they told me he'll cry for a little bit and then put himself to sleep! So I thought, okay, time to try it at home! Up until this point, Jacob had still been sleeping in our room too. So, the other night, I put him down in his crib while he was still awake, shut the door and waiting for him to start fussing. I expected him to fussy some, but he did nothing! He just fell asleep! I was amazed! The next night, I put him down again while he was still awake. This time he did cry for a bit, but eventually fell asleep again! We've even been putting him down in there for his naps over the weekend and it's been working out pretty good. 

I have noticed that since putting Jacob in his crib, he's been waking up more often to eat but I don't know if the two are related. I've read about the four month sleep regression and he's also had a bit of a cold so who knows what exactly is waking him up more often. But we're making progress in the right direction! And that's all that matters! It's been great having him in his own room finally too. We don't have to be quite as quiet when we're getting ready for bed and can stay up a little bit later, although we're almost always in bed when Jacob goes down! 

So, life is definitely changing and we're adjusting to a new life as two working parents. But I think it's all going well and we're going to like our new life. And it's so much fun watching Jacob change every day! I'm looking forward to seeing where life leads us! But it feels like things are starting to fall into place and we're finally getting some answers to our prayers, which is a great feeling. God is good. 

Identity Crisis

I'm not sure 27 is old enough to have a mid-life crisis, so maybe I'm just having an identity crisis. I've had a lot of time to think lately, during feedings and nap times, while applying for jobs. And I'm struggling to figure out my place in this world. 

I've written about this before, it's not the first time I've had this struggle. I'm not sure what my passion in life is. With a degree in Communications, it allows me to do a wide variety of things when it comes to finding a job. And that's part of the reason why I majored in Communications. In fact, my fellow comm arts majors and I would joke that the only reason why we're majoring in communications is because we don't know what we want to do in life. But I guess there's some truth in that too. 

I don't know what I want to do in life. 

I haven't found my calling, my vocation - the thing that Wartburg was suppose to help you find. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Even when I get asked that question - if you could do anything in the world, your dream job, what would it be? - I don't know what to answer. 

I envy those who know what their calling and their passion in life is. My husband, for one. He's a talented, amazing, passionate music teacher. He knows that this is what he should be doing. He's great at his job, he has the passion, the energy, the drive. There's no doubt in his mind that this isn't what he should be doing with his life. Not that he doesn't have his bad days, or even weeks. Everyone does. My sister is another. She just started her first calling as a Pastor in Northern Minnesota. She knows that God has called her to that role. And for that type of job, you have to know that is was a calling from God. And when you see her in her element, you can see she's doing what she should be doing. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I've enjoyed my past jobs. At Kruger, I loved the variety and multiple aspects and projects of the job. I even loved working with farmers. :) But there was not really any room to move up at that job, unless I was willing to relocate to St. Louis and that was something I didn't want to do. And looking at the company now, the marketing department is no longer there. I would have either had to move to St. Louis or lost my job. And I have to say that looking back and remembering the struggle it was to leave that job and move to Western Iowa so Austin could start his first job, God's plan is amazing. 
At UNO, I loved the people I worked with. And I really enjoyed going out and talking to students about UNO and education, helping them make important decisions about their future. And now looking at that, it's a little ironic my job was to help others start working towards their plans for future careers when I didn't know what my future holds! But that job required a lot of travel and that wasn't something I wanted to do forever either. And moving up in higher education is hard without a Masters degree and even then, opportunities are someone limited unless you're willing to move to find them. 

So would I like to continue to work in higher education? Yes, possibly. But I'm not in a place where I want to go back to school right now. And in that case, I don't know what I would get a Masters degree in either. Would I like to find work in marketing or communications? Sure, but I haven't found that actual job or industry that I feel really passionate about. 

The other thing I struggle with is achievements. When I look around to my peers, people that I've graduated with or have even graduated after me, some of them are in great jobs that they're really passionate about. And some of them are in really great positions, i.e. managers, directors, etc. I look at myself and doubt my skills - would I be able to be in a position like that? I feel like I haven't had opportunities to prove (mostly to myself) if I could or not. Or maybe I haven't tried hard enough. Or maybe I'm really just not good enough. But I feel jealous of those people. Not only because they're doing something they love, but because they've been successful when I haven't. It makes me feel like a failure. 

Someone recently posted an article on Facebook titled "Five Lies every Twenty-something Needs to Stop Believing". And I'm not going to lie, I think it was posted for me. I needed to read it. I need to re-read it. Again and again. It made a lot of good points about struggling, success and feeling like a failure. And so it was a great reminder. I'm only 27. I have a lot of life ahead of me still. I can still do great things. But then I'm back to... what is it that I'm suppose to be doing in life to do those great things?

I've recently become a mother. And for the past 10 weeks, I've spent every day, and almost every hour, with my precious baby. And for the past 10 weeks, I have loved every day. There were certainly times when I was stressed out and overwhelmed with taking care of a baby, but I still loved it. I love being a mom. I love having someone little, who is so dependent on me, to take care of. I love watching him grow and change every day. I love interacting with him. I love teaching him. I love loving him. 

I think that I would love to be a stay at home mom. I would love to stay at home everyday with my baby boy. Being able to spend that precious time with him day in and day out. Help him grow. Teach him how to walk, how to talk. To see every moment happen. That's what I think I would love. But unfortunately, it's just not realistic. We need two incomes. If only I could get paid to be a mom. Let's be real, I'd be a millionaire because I'm such an awesome mom. ;-) 

So I've had a couple interviews. Some with jobs I think I would really enjoying doing and others for jobs that I could most certainly do, but might not fully enjoy. I haven't gotten any job offers yet though and every time I get a phone call or email saying "no thanks" or "we've gone a different direction", I get that feeling of failure again. And I know God has a plan, I do. If I had gotten any of the jobs I had earlier interviews for, I would already be back to work. Instead I've gotten to spend more time with my little man. And so I'm confident that something is going to come along. And I'm confident that it will be what I'm suppose to be doing right now. But will it be my calling? My passion? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe time will tell. 

But I'm definitely learning how to be patient. Job searching tests my patience every day. Putting in applications and then waiting. Getting an interview and then waiting. Always waiting. And I'm not a very patient person. So each day I remind myself - patience, Liz, patience. God has a plan. God will provide. It can get very overwhelming, especially as my maternity leave is coming to an end. So again, I say to myself - it will all work out. God knows what He's doing. Even when he doesn't tell me! :) 

And so here I am. Waiting to find a job. Waiting for my calling. Waiting to find my place in this world. Waiting. 

But while I wait, I'll go spend some more time with that cute baby of mine.

Marketing & Branding

So we're currently hiring a new Director of Marketing here at the University of Nebraska Omaha. We're actually creating an entire Office of Marketing - something we've never had before, which really amazes me considering the size of our university. So I've recently been sitting in on these interviews and some of the discussions have made me think.

One of the bigger issues that we face here at UNO is a branding issue. We don't have a brand. We rolled out with some new logos within the past year and that's been a good start but it's not enough. We need to have a defining brand that when people hear or see it, they know - UNO. Like Nike or Pepsi. Or other universities like Texas or Nebraska Lincoln. They have well known brands. This is what we lack.

It also made me think about Wartburg. Now Wartburg is obviously is a little bit of a different class than UNO because of size and private versus public, but one thing that Wartburg does right is that it has a brand. Be Orange. There were some shirts that I saw recently that the Wartburg Ambassadors were wearing that said: "Be Orange. It's a Wartburg thing" And that's so true. (By the way, can I get one of those!?) Anyone who knows Wartburg knows 'Be Orange'. They've done a great job marketing that, using it everywhere and for an extended period of time.

Before I started working at UNO, I worked as a marketing coordinator for Kruger Seeds. I really enjoyed that work too. I loved the planning and the variety. And while I was there we even were able to do some re-branding. Kruger changed their logo and came up with a brand. And while I wasn't a part of the team that presented those ideas, I was involved in some of the process. And it was really great. With their old brand, you would ask dealers what is Kruger Seeds? And they wouldn't be able to get you a straight answer and everyone had a different answer. With the new logo and the new branding, we could ask any dealer what is Kruger Seeds? They would all answer 'First Class Seed. First Name Service.' Within a year, we could see this change. It was amazing! 

Sitting in on these interviews and talking about what needs to be done here at UNO gets me excited. Talking about branding and what that means to UNO. I love it. I've forgotten how much I love that part of marketing. I will tell you that since I've been out of school for a while, I might not know as much as I would like about branding specifically and marketing, but I feel like this is something that I would maybe want to do in the future. These discussions make me want to go back and read and learn more. I want to be a part of these conversations.

I guess this post leads back to that 'age old question' of "What does Liz want to do with her life? What is her calling?" I love working in higher education. I love the work I do with students and getting them excited about going to college. But I also love marketing and branding. Am I better at one or the other? Who knows. I might say I'm more comfortable with higher education mostly because I'm doing that right now. Maybe I need to combine the two and start searching for work in higher education marketing.

Either way, this post mostly just serves as a place for me to write down some of the thoughts I've had. I guess if you have any suggestions or recommendations, I'm all ears. :)