One Year Later

I have officially been at the YMCA for a year now. My annual review paperwork has confirmed this. :) I can still remember coming across the job opening on Facebook... Graphic Design and Marketing Director. I felt a pull, a call to a "real adult job". I quickly applied and when it took awhile to get back to me after the interview, I started to fear I didn't get the job. It was then how much I realized I really wanted a shot at this position, to better myself and to get back to doing more of what I love. But I did indeed get the job. And this first year on the job has been like none I have ever experienced, nothing I could have imagined, and completely amazing. 

Going back real quick to my "real adult job" comment... I've been in the professional world for over 10 years now. I've held a number of jobs - some I've loved and others I've tolerated. I have been fortunate to work across a number of sectors and have learned a great deal. But many of those jobs were for coordinators or assistants. There's nothing wrong with this and this is how you learn and grow as a professional. This job at the YMCA felt like it could be my first grown-up job. Obviously that's silly since I've been an adult for some time now, but I felt more importance tied to this role, more responsibility, more leadership. And in all honesty, I finally felt that I was ready for this type of role, this higher position.

Looking back at previous jobs, I can see how they were all the right job for that particular time in my life. Looking back, I can see how much I grew and learned from those previous jobs. Each one, each supervisor, each co-worker played an important part in my journey. And I am so grateful for that. 

Four years at Wartburg College drilled into my head this idea of finding my calling. And since I've graduated, I've struggled with that idea. I've struggled to put a name and identity to my calling, my vocation. It wasn't until 2015 that I thought "I think I've found it." It was then I got a job doing communications for a local nonprofit. Not only did I love the work I was doing, I felt like I had a purpose in life. My work was helping others. That was one thing that always seemed to be missing previously. I loved that job. Unfortunately, for a few reasons, there came a time where I needed to find something else for awhile. 

So when this job opened up, I saw it as an opening back into the nonprofit world. A world that I had missed, a world where I felt purpose. After a year on the job, I have that feeling again - that feeling of purpose, of meaning. It makes the work I do so much more enjoyable. 

One of the best parts of my Graphic Design and Marketing Director position is the variety. This is what I've always enjoyed about most of my jobs - that every day looks completely different, not the same thing every single day. And this job seems to be the best compilation of skills needed. So in case you have no idea what it is exactly that I do, let me take a minute to tell you... 

I get to be creative!! I spend my days creating graphics for social medias, flyers, events, brochures and program guides. I am the official Y photographer for all programs, events and every day activities. I write - letters, emails, newsletters, press releases, various content for marketing pieces, etc. I manage the upkeep of our website, which always seems to need updating. I manage mailing lists and advertising information. I've done more video producing this year than in my past 10 years combined. I help manage our social media accounts. I've become the point of contact for our new reservation system and mobile app. I make sure everything is following the Y's brand standards. I provide marketing support not only for the Y, but for the many programs we offer - mentoring, camp, preschool, STRIDE, fitness and wellness, aquatics, after-school, membership, the skate park, our annual campaign, etc. 

I keep busy. I often have a long list of projects that need to be completed. My door is always open as people tend to just stop in my office when they have a new request. I'm always multi-tasking on a few different things. But let me be very clear here: I love it.

I love the busyness. I love the long lists of projects. I love the challenge of having much to accomplish. I love the feeling of finishing a project or a job well done. 

After a month or so on the job, I found myself getting into a groove. I was finding my footing, making plans for what I wanted the role to look like moving forward. I had some new ideas and great momentum working with our marketing committee. But by March of this year, everything got derailed. 

Suddenly, I was doing a job I had no idea how to do; a job I never imagined having to do. I was learning how to be a marketing director for a gym and nonprofit during a world pandemic with no previous or specific experience to rely on. Obviously, we were all in this sort of position, but that does not take away from the challenge it was. We were making adjustments in real time, finding ways to stay connected to members while our doors were closed, basically just trying to stay above water. Things I had planned couldn't happen, projects I was working on were no longer needed. It was a complete shift. Honestly, it was not the type of curveball I was expecting from my first "real adult job". :)  

Looking back on the past few months, I am proud. I'm proud of our team for everything we did and continue to do. I am proud of the work I accomplished. I'm proud of how I grew in the face of the challenges in front of me. My word of the year for 2020 is Bloom. I feel confident in saying that I feel like I have flourished in my professional world. I stepped up when it was needed and continue to produce strong work. All of this is why this job has been so amazing. I feel a sense of purpose; I feel challenged; I feel myself growing; I feel grateful for the job. I am happy. 

And on top of all of that, I work with some of the most amazing people.  

So one year later... I am as excited to come into work every day as I was on my very first day. Maybe more so! I am happy. I am fulfilled. I feel a sense of belonging. I feel like I have found my calling. 

My Journey to be Debt-Free

I've been thinking about writing this post for a while now. As I inch closer and closer to my ultimate goal of being debt-free. 

Recently, I did a thing. A huge, very adult thing. I made my last ever student loan payment. Eleven years after graduating college. Which isn't too bad, considering they generally set you up on a ten-year repayment plan and there was more than once I had to defer my loan payments or get those payments lowered. 

I am forever grateful for my experience at college. I wouldn't change it for the world. But it is a huge relief, a huge burden lifted to be finally done making payments on my student loans. 

I've been on this debt-free journey for a few years now. But before I tell you my story, I need you to know that getting to this point took some hard lessons being learned, it meant making sacrifices, it meant working hard but it also took a lot of luck. I've been very fortunate in some of my circumstances that have made this journey easier than it could have been. 

I will be the first to admit that I am no money expert. In fact, for most of my life, money was definitely not my strong suit. Just ask my sister. She loves to tell people how I supposedly "bullied" her into sharing her allowance and saved money when we were on vacation. Haha!! She's also not wrong. I liked to spend money, not save it. And that can be a hard habit to break. 

I had summer jobs growing up and worked my way through college so I knew the value of hard work and money being earned. After college, I landed a job that paid very well but I hate to admit that I was foolish with that money. Looking back, I just cringe at the thought. I was making more money than I needed at the time. Yet, I was not good at saving it or putting it towards student loan payments. Instead, I enjoyed spending that money - on eating out more than I should, on things I didn't need and who knows what else. 

After AJ and I got married, we realized neither of us was good with money. A super great combination. HA! We continued to enjoy a lifestyle that was not extravagant but was also not necessarily within our budget. But how would we have known? We didn't have a budget back then. Between some poor life decisions, low-paying jobs and some big moves, we quickly racked up our credit card debt. We were also feeling the sting of those overdraft fees on our checking account. We were living paycheck to paycheck and often we didn't have enough each month. AJ and I both deferred our student loans payments a few different times to help ease the burden. We just had not figured out how to properly manage our money. 

During this time, my parents offered to pay for us to attend a Dave Ramsey course. We jumped at the opportunity, sick of our financial situation. And we learned a lot of great things. We learned we had a lot of work ahead of us. But we got excited about the process. You bet we cut up our credit cards! You bet we put up a debt snowball sheet on our fridge. That looked incredibly daunting, by the way! 

But we did start chipping away. We knew what needed to be done. 

I wish I could say that the start of this journey started back then. But that's not true. Soon, AJ's addiction continued to grow into a larger issue. At some desperate points, AJ would find a doctor to give him pills, but because insurance had already been used, he'd pay out of pocket for them. That was never cheap. On top of that, we had medical bills from the few times AJ ended up in the hospital or at treatment because of his addiction. His addiction kept him from work at times and with those bills piling up, it felt like a very dark place. 

I do not hold this against AJ. He was sick. But it got to the point where I had to start making some difficult decisions to keep Jacob and I financially secure. We got different checking accounts. We got divorced. Although, even after that, I still continued to help AJ financially. He was the father to my son. He was the man I loved. I didn't want to see him fail. It took me until a couple of months after our divorce before I was finally strong enough to break that pattern. 

I think the tipping point for me when I was truly able to start this journey came once we moved back to Minnesota. We moved in with my parents, what we thought would be a temporary stay. And three years later, I'm still in the basement. I believe that this, above all else, has been key to my success. My parents have been too fortunate and kind allowing Jacob and I to live there. While we agreed on some monthly rent, they would also allow me to skip that some months if I had other bills to pay. I had no utility bills. We share streaming services. I'll pitch in to buy some groceries. But the amount of money I've saved by living with my parents is a huge contribution to my debt-free journey. And I am incredibly grateful to them. 

I finally started working my debt snowball seriously. Each debt that was paid off, I added that amount to my next debt. It makes a huge difference. Any extra money I got from Christmas or a tax refund went to pay off some debt. I had some inheritance money that I received that also went straight to my debt. I've worked a seasonal second job for the past three years and have used that money to pay off my debt. 

I also started to actually use the budget I had created for myself. A detailed budget that included all of my expenses, how much money from each paycheck and where the money could be spent. This has helped me to avoid extra spending - not always - but much more often! Each paycheck has a designated set of bills to pay. Another life hack I used was when putting my budget together, I would round down on the amount of money each paycheck would be and round up on my bills. This would generally ensure I had enough money and even some extra at times. This was helpful for those extra and sometimes unexpected bills. I also always had my debt totals right next to my budget so would remember what I was working towards. 

It was only because of each of these things, each of these circumstances, that I am at the place I'm at today. And I'm also not quite there. 

My last remaining debt is my car payment, which some argue whether or not that should qualify under debt. But it is a monthly payment that I make. Plus, if you ask Dave Ramsey, he's all about buying cars with cash! But, I hope to have my car paid off within the next year. 

I do have a couple of credit cards with some charges on them. But I only use them for big purchases and always make more than the minimal payment required. I no longer rely on credit cards to pay my bills or help me survive until the next paycheck. 

And I finally got that saving-thing down. I'm contributing towards my retirement. I'm putting money aside for Jacob's schooling one day. I've got money from every paycheck that never comes to my checking account and instead goes into a separate savings account - even at a different establishment than my every day bank. I have an app on my phone that rounds up the extra cents from each purchase and saves them in another account. I try not to spend any $5 bills I receive and instead stick them away somewhere. I've even added "additional savings" to my budget for things like medical bills, car costs, etc. 

I will still claim that I am no money expert. But I am finally in a place that I feel confident about my financial situation. I feel more financially secure than I ever have. And I also can see a bright future ahead of being able to live and enjoy life without being financially insecure. And that is truly an amazing feeling. 

A New Place

Well we've gotten ourselves through another successful move! Seriously, we are pros at this whole moving thing! I actually starting thinking about this the other night... how many places I've lived at in my 28 years. And it is a lot. Let's review...

My first home was the red and white house on Prince St, from there it was the house on Oakland, then that little blue house next to the fire station. Then we lived at Lily Lakes Estates and then the little yellow house we rented until we moved out to the farm. Now some of these were during college so I wasn't always living there, but I'm counting them. These were the places I called home. Then there was college: I lived in Centennial Hall for two years, and in two rooms so I'm counting this one twice because I did have to move completely out and back in again. Then there was Founders Hall, I did a brief stint in the Manors for May Term before moving to a condo in Waverly for the summer. There were also the Wartburg West apartments in Denver and finally, Knights Village my senior year. Then it was my first apartment after college, the place on Pinehurst in Waterloo. Crappy apartment, but for the right price. Then Austin and I moved to an apartment on Edgemont (still in Waterloo) for a short six months. After that was the "big move" out west. We lived in a really great apartment but on the dreaded third floor in Council Bluffs before moving to a neat little apartment in Oakland for two years. Next we moved back east and lived in a small house in Reinbeck before a temporary move to Austin's parents until we finally found a place of our own in Lisbon. Where we are now. 

Did you lose count? If you did, that's 20 places. 20 places I've called home for any amount of time. 20 places in 28 years. Our family are angels for helping us move so much. We have a reputation among our friends as the ones that move the most. And it's probably true. It's just been how things have worked out. For the most part, we probably could have stayed put a couple of times. :) 

And as much as I hate packing and moving boxes and furniture, there are somethings I love about a new move. I love the way a place is empty before you bring everything it. It offers a new beginning. It offers the possibilities of making this place your own. Making it a home. And I do enjoy the unpacking part. I love finding places for everything and making sure everything is organized - even if it never stays organized! I love added the personal touches to make it our home, hanging pictures on the wall or a rug on the floor. I love that feeling of a new place. Your own place. But then the novelty wears off... maybe that's why we keep moving. :) 

I would like to say that this is our last move before we look into buying a house and really settling down, but I can't. I can't say something like that because I've learned that life is going to happen. Events happen, people change their mind. Would I like to be looking at buying a house? Absolutely. Both Austin and I feel like we're at that point. But because we have moved so much, I think we're both hesitant about making that big of a commitment to one place. Are we really ready to settle down here? Is this where we want to be? What we want to be doing? Those are questions we don't know the answers to yet. But maybe someday. 

And now back to updating you on our life...

We've moved to Lisbon and so far we're really enjoying it. We're working on getting into our own routine. The shorter commutes to work have been so fantastic. I feel like we get to spend more time with Jacob. 

And speaking of Jacob, some of you may have seen, he got to spend almost a full week up in Minnesota with his Grandparents. He went up right after we moved and Austin and I were able to take advantage of the Jacob-free time to really unpack and organize everything. Jacob had a great time in Minnesota and even got to venture way up North to visit his Aunt Meg and Uncle Dan even came over from Fargo for a visit! As much fun as he had, we were sure glad to get him back home. It was crazy how much we missed him! I've honestly never missed anyone more in my life. A parent's love is a crazy thing! 

Jacob is still being stubborn and not really walking. He's more than capable, just lazy. :) He is standing a lot more and taking steps away from furniture own his own, so it's really just a matter of time before he figures how walking is so much better than crawling. Jacob seems to really like the new apartment, especially the sliding doors -they're perfect for him to look outside. We do have a small balcony and we've spent some time out there blowing and popping bubbles - something Jacob loves to do! 

Jacob continues to be a good eater, but he's not always interested in his own food - he wants to eat whatever you're eating! So there's a lot of sharing at our house now. He also is getting better at saying new words - which I love. He can say "cracker", "bye", "gone" "baby", "nigh nigh", "duck", "quack", "kitty", "dog", "bubble" and "z". :) He also tries to say "thank you". We've starting saying "all gone" when Jacob eats all of his food otherwise he'll continue to ask for more so we hold up our hands and show him that they're empty and say "all gone". Well Jacob has started to do it too! He'll put his arms out and say "gone" but he puts his arms out behind him - too cute. This morning when Daddy left for work, I said to Jacob, "Where'd Daddy go?" Jacob held out his arms and said "gone"! It was adorable. :) 

He does do a lot of "talking"... he'll "read" books to us, talk to his toys or the cupboards. And he also has "learned" how to talk on the phone... if you haven't see the picture or video, you check them out on Facebook. It's so funny! Sometimes when he reads a book, he has to put it right up to his face. And sometimes he puts a lot of emotion into his readings! :) He also LOVES to have you point to things. Anything. But he has to help. He likes to grab your finger and have you point to things. Pictures in a book, pictures or hangings on the wall, the ceiling fan, the mouse in Goodnight Moon, the Owl on the rug... it's endless. And only cute until he won't let you stop. :) The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is still his favorite TV show and he will dance up a storm when it's time for the Hot Dog Song! 

Jacob has also already started the Terrible Twos... which I thought weren't suppose to start until he was actually two! Nope! They've started already. Now, some of this might because we moved to a new place and then sent him to Minnesota so his routine was very much disturbed, I don't know. But he has started to throw fits. When you won't let him play with your phone, when you tell him no and stop playing in the blinds, when you won't give him another cracker, when you won't pick him up because you're doing the dishes, when his toy shapes won't fit in the hole they're not supposed to go in.... you get the idea. And I know it's hard because he can't really communicate to us any other way. Just another joy of parenthood. 

Jacob has finally started to do more and more walking. And he'll do it on his own, without us trying to get him to walk. He'll pull himself up and slowly walk around. He also loves to dance - to pretty much any music! But he will almost always stop when a theme song for a TV show comes on and dance to it, it's pretty cute. He also likes to nod his head yes or shake it no, although I'm not sure he knows what that means yet. :) And he just recently started doing this "big smile" thing where he will show all his teeth and squint his eyes! And he finally enjoys brushing his teeth! Every night, after bath, we go look in the mirror and Jacob will try to push it open. I grab his toothbrush and he'll open his mouth and point to his teeth, ready for me! It makes me smile!  

This is such a fun stage because Jacob is constantly learning and developing and I can't tell you how fun it is to watch! :) 

Long Overdue

This post is long overdue. I'm not even sure I'll be able to remember everything that's happened in the last couple of months! :) 

Since the last post, Jacob had another couple short bouts of sickness, including bronchitis. It took him a while to get over that one, we were doing breathing treatments for quite a while. He also got the hand foot and mouth disease from daycare but only had a small fever for one day and then was acting like his normal self again. He did get spots though all over his body and didn't really have any sores in his mouth, so I don't think he was in too much, if any pain. He also has eczema, so that made it look a little worse too. Since then though, he's been healthy! 

Jacob has grown and changed so much in the last two months! He's officially self feeding, no more pureed foods. I was still sending some to daycare but only to get rid of what I had in my freezer. Jacob loves to eat. And he can eat a lot! He's pretty good about chewing, but likes to shove a lot in his mouth and then he signs 'more' before he's even done chewing what he already has! He's really good about signing 'more' for us too when he's eating and in fact, has starting doing it now if we do something else he likes and wants to see more of. We just started working on signing 'please' with him too. He loves peas, carrots, cheese, chicken and strawberries. But he's a good sport and will almost always try something new. Sometimes he'll pick up a new food, try it, spit it back out only to pick it up again and put it right back in his mouth! Haha! We've also been spoiling him with the occasional marshmallow and ice cream cone. :) 

Jacob loves to go swinging and before it was really warm enough, he loved to kick his feet in the pool at Grandma and Grandpa's house. We did finally get him in the pool last weekend and he LOVED it. He splashed the entire time with a huge smile on his face! We also have a small ball pit (a $5 garage sale find) that he loves. Okay, mostly he loves just sitting in it and throwing all the balls out of it. :) But he's mastered climbing in and out of it on his own. He also still loves anything that makes noise or plays music. In fact, he's started to dance with the music, mostly swaying side to side or shaking his head, but it is too cute. He's also really figured out some of his toys. Like putting the rings on the stacker -   and then looking around waiting for us to clap for him. He also has this gear toy that turns the gears when you press a button and he's figured out where to put the gears to make them turn and he also likes to put them on the largest gear and watch them turn on that too. So smart! Jacob also enjoys opening and closing doors. If you're holding him, he'll make sure to help and when he's on the floor, he'll crawl to open it and then crawl to the door again to close it, curling his little toes so they're out of the way. 

He's still not walking but he is a crawling machine! And he can really zoom across the room when he wants! He's also really figured out how to get from a standing to a sitting position now so when we try to get him to stand and walk, he just plops his butt down if he doesn't want to. But he'll get there in his own time. He can pull himself into a standing position really great too. He also has 7 teeth, with an eighth close to cutting. Jacob loves to hear himself and is in a phase of screeching. He will screech to get our attention or when he wants more of something. It's cute at first, but gets old pretty quickly. :) He still talks a lot and sometimes it even sounds like he's singing. He also still does the Jacob Jig - which is when he gets really excited, holds his arms out and opens and closes his fists. It's the cutest thing! Sometimes he'll wave his arms around during songs and it looks like he's conducting! His new favorite song is the "Hot Dog Song" from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I found a YouTube clip of this one song on repeat for an hour and while I don't enjoy listening to it that long, it satisfies Jacob! 

As for Austin and myself, a lot has changed in the past two months as well. We've relocated (again) and are currently living with Austin's parents in Tipton. We were waiting to find a place to live until Austin found a job and now that he's working, we're looking for a place probably in the Mt. Vernon/Lisbon area. Austin has started working at Tipton Structural Fabrication as a steel cutter. Very different from teaching, very physically demanding, but he's really enjoying the change of pace. My job is still going great as well. It's getting easier and I'm understanding a lot more, but there is still a lot to learn! 

Well that's about it for now. I'm sure I could think of more things the longer I sit here but this is plenty. :) Our sweet baby boy turns one on Thursday and I'm still struggling to figure out where the past year has gone. But more on that in the next post... in about six months. ;-) 

9 Months Old

Note: I wrote this blog shortly after Jacob's 9 month check up, but never published it because I kept forgetting to get his measurements from the note at home to put in there! And now my baby is almost 11 months old! Oh well, better late than never! :) 

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I haven't been as good about keeping on top of this! But my little baby isn't such a little baby anymore. Jacob is 9 months old! He's officially been out in this world longer than he was inside of me. Crazy. And he's changing so much, every single day. I was just telling Austin last night that I feel like even in the past two or three days, Jacob has made huge strides in learning new things! It's such a fun stage to watch him learn, figure out new things, see how proud he is of himself and praise him for it all! :) 

I mentioned in the last post that Jacob had gotten sick and had an ear infection. Well that wasn't the end of it, unfortunately. At the end of that week of him being sick, Jacob picked up a separate stomach bug at daycare. It hit him on Friday night and he was throwing up quite a bit. We didn't even try any foods - just a lot of breastmilk. And then on Saturday night, it hit me and by Sunday, AJ. It took us all down. I have to tell you, that those 48 hours or so that all three of us were sick, were some of the worst. I've struggled quite a few times as a mom - we all do. But during that time of sickness, I didn't know if I would make it. It was that bad. Luckily(?) Jacob was still under the weather so he didn't need quite as much attention from us, which was good because we would not have been able to give it. But, thankfully, it passed. And we survived. And it took a good while for Jacob to really get back on track. When we had our follow up at the doctor, he still had an ear infection so we got some stronger medication for him. He seemed to like this one better and it finally knocked out that infection. But it took a couple weeks before he was back to eating normally again. 

At Jacob's 9 month check up, he did great! He did actually develop a rash over his body just like a day or so before we were suppose to go to the doctor so we were glad we already had the appointment scheduled. We also decided that "googling" baby rashes is not a great idea... ha! We were trying to figure out if it was from new foods we were trying with him, new laundry detergent or different water... we weren't sure. Luckily, the doctor told us it was just a post-infection rash that babies can get from being sick. It doesn't itch or bother Jacob at all and would go away on its own. Other than that, he is a perfect and healthy baby! His weight was 20lbs 4oz (67%), height 28" (33%) and head 18.5" (92%). Not really any weight gain from his 6 month check up but I think he lost some weight being sick and not eating like he normally was. So, a great appointment and no shots! 

Like I mentioned above, Jacob is in a really fun stage! He's learning so much! He's figured out how to clap and loves to make noise! He's still very much experimenting with his mouth and vocal chords and it's so fun to listen to him make all that noise! Although, maybe not when we're trying to watch TV. :) He also has really figured out some of his toys and it's so entertaining to watch him play. 

And we officially have a little mover on our hands. Jacob has finally figured out how to really move around. His crawl is a little unique and sometimes he'll crawl on one knee and one foot... silly boy. But he can effectively get across the room to get a toy or to come to mommy. :) And we're also quickly realizing how much more he needs to be watched and what types of things we can't leave laying around. Jacob has also been getting much better at standing without any type of support. You can see the determination on his face and he's working on his balance and sometimes he'll hold his breath! :) But he's able to stand by himself much longer. He can also pull himself into a standing position. He's done this in his crib, climbing up on Daddy or holding on to your hands. And when you walk with him, he wants to sometimes let go of your hands but don't quite have that balance yet. It won't be long before he'll be up and walking though! 

Jacob has also cut another tooth! His top right front tooth has peeked through and the left one is close to following. Hopefully this will help ease some of that teething pain, but he has been a biter lately. He bites our arms, fingers and he's biting while nursing. This is a behavior that we're having a hard time trying to stop, but we keep working at it. But I have to admit, with the biting during nursing, I have an internal struggle about continuing to breastfeed. I want to make it a full year, but I hate the biting and am so tempted to quit. I don't have enough in the freezer to get us through June and I also hate pumping so I don't think I'd have the drive to just exclusively pump. So for now, I continue to nurse while trying to teach my son the word "no". I must add, it doesn't help that when he hears us say no he tends to smile, giggle and try to continue doing whatever it is we want him to stop doing. Like, Jacob currently has this strange obsession with throwing himself backwards. He does it when he's on the bed or couch. But he also does in the highchair. Another behavior we're trying to stop. Oh, the joys of parenthood. :) 

Some other fun facts about Jacob: He LOVES the book "Good Night Moon". I mean, loves it. Every time we pull it out, he does his little hand grabbing motion and bounces in his seat. In fact, one time I just started reciting the book without it in the room with us and he looked all around trying to find the book! He also loves to help turn the pages! Bath time is still a favorite activity, especially trying to drink the water these days... He still likes the song "Six Little Ducks" as well. 

More than anything though, Jacob ADORES himself. Okay, so I don't know he really loves himself or just really loves that baby he keeps seeing in mirrors or on our phones. :) We started showing Jacob "the baby" in the bathroom mirror after his bath each night. He would get so excited to see this baby every time! And now, anytime there is a mirror, he loves to see the baby! And when we pull up old pictures or videos on our phones, he will just watch them or stare at the pictures, getting excited. But when we put the camera on so Jacob can see himself, he gets the most excited! He's a fan of selfies. :) It's too cute. 

Jacob is still a great eater. We've tried some fancier foods recently. Still a lot of chicken, but we've had corn chowder; minestrone; braised beef; veggies and cheese sauce; potatoes and peas; chicken with sweet potato and apple; potatoes with leek, carrot and peas; tomato, cauliflower, carrot and basil; and pasta and butternut squash, tomato and cheese. Very fun! And Jacob definitely eats better than Austin and I. Haha! We're also slowly starting to work on letting Jacob feed himself. He does great with puffs and these little biscuits called Mum-mums. But we need to start with small pieces of veggies or fruit for him to pick up by himself.  

Jacob has also slowly been getting better about sleeping. He's not always as fussy when it comes to going down for a nap or at night. It use to be where he had to be rocked or in the swing to fall asleep, or nursed to sleep. But he's been able to put himself to sleep just laying down some times. Austin even sent me a picture of Jacob sleeping on the floor in the living room - he had fallen asleep while playing! That has never happened. He still wakes up to feed at night so I haven't started any real sleep training yet - no point until I know he's capable of sleeping through the night. And when he does wake, he normally eats pretty good so I know he's still hungry. I'm not sure how exactly to start weaning these, maybe try feeding him more during the day or try offering a bottle of just some water at night? That'll be our next adventure though. 

Also, if you have some time, please check out our vimeo page! (link on the right sidebar) If you love videos and love Jacob, you'll love our vimeo page! :) There are plenty of videos to watch, as Austin pointed out to me the other day... 2 pages of personal videos and 9 pages of Jacob videos. I didn't see the problem! 

And in non-Jacob news (boring, I know). I've been at my new job for almost a month and so far I'm really loving every minute. I've really had to jump in with my feet to the ground and start running. It's a busy time of year with planting season soon starting so I've been thrown into a lot and have been kept busy. But I love it! I love being busy, I love learning new things, I love having a lot of projects to work on. I'm still getting comfortable with all the jargon and equipment but that will come in time. But I think this is going to be a really great fit for me. I've talked a lot on this blog about my calling and trying to figure out what I want to do and I have to say, I think this job is a step in the right direction. And that feels great.  

Longing

Today I have a longing in my heart. I have wants that are pulling at my heart-strings. Life is anything but predictable. I've learned that the hard way. But today, that is what I want. I want predictability. I want a plan that I know is going to work the way I want it to. I want reassurance.

As I look at those few sentences I've just written, I see the words "I" and "want" a lot. Two words that God probably laughs at. Because what I want and what God has planned, are not always the same. I've also learned that the hard way.

The past five years have taught me so much, allowed me to grow, beaten me down and raised me higher than I could have ever imagined. It's been a lot in such a relatively short amount of time. But looking back, would I have done anything different? Would I have asked for different outcomes? I don't think so. There are certainly times that I don't wish to ever have to repeat, but I know that I've grown from those times. Learned from those times. But looking forward on my life, I want more.

Don't get me wrong, there is a lot about my life that I absolutely love. My son. My husband. My family. My friends.

Maybe I'm being selfish for wanting more. But I do. I want more. I want a house to call ours. I want a community that we feel welcomed and accepted in. I want a community where we have friends to visit with and events to go to. I want a group of people to have a card club with. I want to be a stay at home mom, even though I don't think it will ever be possible financially. And if I can't do that, I want a career. Not just a job. I want a career that I love. That I'm passionate about. I want to figure out what that is. I want to feel like I've accomplished something. Whatever it is.

I want to not have to worry about things. Even if it's just for a while. I want to live care-free. I want to live debt free from our student loans and medical bills. I want to have a time in my life where things are great for an extended period of time. I want a time that is "bump free". I want to know what the future holds. Not my whole future, just the foreseeable future.

I also want to be the best mom I can be for my son. I want to be able to give him all that he needs. I want to be able to provide for his future. I want to be the best wife I can be to my husband. I want to be able to support him in all that he does. I want to be the person that both my boys need more than anyone.

I want to have all the answers. I want things to fall into place. I want to know.


So that's it. That's all I want. That's not too much, is it? Is what I want what God wants for me? I don't know. I pray for answers. I pray for what I want. And I pray for God to show me His plans. His wants. And that's what I'm waiting for.

Our Six Month Check Up

The time has come for another doctor appointment check up! This is Jacob's 6 month check up. Six months! I have absolutely no idea where the last six months have gone! And can I please have them back? (Okay, maybe not...)

Jacob's doctor's appointment was held on one of the colder days. Normally, Austin and I both try to go to these appointments but because of the time, Austin couldn't leave school early. So it was just me. I decided that this needed to never happen again. Ha! Normally, Austin will drop Jacob and I off at the door so we don't have to walk. This would have been perfect on this cold day! The walk from the car was long and very cold! Plus, Jacob is a big baby. So him plus the weight of the car seat - uff-ta! It really didn't help matters that I was feeling sick and weak myself that day either. So I made a mental note to always schedule his appointments as late in the day as possible so Austin can come along!

Other than that though, the appointment went well. Jacob is measuring right on track! He now weighs 19lbs 12 oz, which puts him in the 85th percentile. His height is 27.25 inches (70%) and his head is 18.25 inches, which puts him back up to 100% there! :) The doctor asked if we were able to fit shirts over Jacob's head and I mentioned that I had just tried to put on a turtleneck that was 12 months but it wouldn't fit over his head. The doctor said he wasn't able to wear turtlenecks until he was a teenager and all of his shirts as a baby had cuts to fit over his head! So he told Jacob that he was probably going to be a doctor with that big head of his! :) Everything checked out great and we go the go ahead to start solids! He also had some more shots, but again, they weren't nearly as bad as that first time and I was able to handle it. :)

Jacob is growing like a weed, and I'm not talking about just his height or weight. The kid is getting smarter every day! He's a great sitter, when he wants to be anyway! Sometimes he likes to just fall over backwards or face first into the pillows around him. He still isn't crawling, he can scoot backwards a little bit though. But mostly, when you put him on his tummy, he'll just roll over. He still loves to stand though, so we're working on doing the motions of walking. Maybe he'll walk before crawling like his daddy did!

Jacob has started to whine if he wants attention or can't reach a toy he wants or he leans forward and rolls over and wants to be set back up. He does this little fake cry. So we're working on him figuring things out for himself. We let him "cry" for a bit to try and get what he wants himself, without our help. My first instinct is to automatically help him out - pick him up or get the toy he wants, but I know he needs to learn to do it himself!

He also has his two bottom front teeth - so cute! But so painful! Teething is not fun for the little man! And you have to be careful putting fingers in his mouth now because those suckers are sharp! Sophie the Giraffe has become one of Jacob's favorite toys right now. It's so easy for him to grab and he loves to chew on it. He'll also put one of the legs in his mouth, bite down and then pull it out. It really is a great toy for any teething baby!

Jacob also received a lot of new toys for Christmas! What a spoiled baby! :) And it's been fun watching him play with those new toys as he figures them out and what they do. He's great about being able to pick up certain toys, reaching out and grabbing new toys. He has one toy that is a dinosaur that has balls that bounce from the inside. Well Jacob has figured out since he can't quite reach inside to grab a ball, he'll grab the side of the toy and tip it sideways to get inside! Such a clever boy!  

Like I mentioned above, we got the go ahead to start solids with Jacob. We've been pretty excited about this and Jacob has definitely been ready. He loves to watch us eat and will often try to reach out and grab our food! I also decided that I wanted to make all of our baby food. I liked the idea of knowing exactly what I was feeding Jacob. We have the Baby Bullet and Steamer and it worked great! Austin and I spent a couple hours over the weekend making different types of baby food and freezing it. It was actually a lot of fun and something we enjoyed being able to do together. We made carrots, pear, apple and sweet potato.

The first food we tried was carrots. Jacob made a lot of faces and it took some time getting use to the taste and texture, but after a couple of days, he is eating them like a pro. We also tried banana and this was much better for Jacob! After just two days, he is eating them up! I think we're going to try the sweet potato next!

Otherwise, I know we're only about a week in, but other than the freezing cold, 2014 is off to a really great start for our family!