One Year Later

I have officially been at the YMCA for a year now. My annual review paperwork has confirmed this. :) I can still remember coming across the job opening on Facebook... Graphic Design and Marketing Director. I felt a pull, a call to a "real adult job". I quickly applied and when it took awhile to get back to me after the interview, I started to fear I didn't get the job. It was then how much I realized I really wanted a shot at this position, to better myself and to get back to doing more of what I love. But I did indeed get the job. And this first year on the job has been like none I have ever experienced, nothing I could have imagined, and completely amazing. 

Going back real quick to my "real adult job" comment... I've been in the professional world for over 10 years now. I've held a number of jobs - some I've loved and others I've tolerated. I have been fortunate to work across a number of sectors and have learned a great deal. But many of those jobs were for coordinators or assistants. There's nothing wrong with this and this is how you learn and grow as a professional. This job at the YMCA felt like it could be my first grown-up job. Obviously that's silly since I've been an adult for some time now, but I felt more importance tied to this role, more responsibility, more leadership. And in all honesty, I finally felt that I was ready for this type of role, this higher position.

Looking back at previous jobs, I can see how they were all the right job for that particular time in my life. Looking back, I can see how much I grew and learned from those previous jobs. Each one, each supervisor, each co-worker played an important part in my journey. And I am so grateful for that. 

Four years at Wartburg College drilled into my head this idea of finding my calling. And since I've graduated, I've struggled with that idea. I've struggled to put a name and identity to my calling, my vocation. It wasn't until 2015 that I thought "I think I've found it." It was then I got a job doing communications for a local nonprofit. Not only did I love the work I was doing, I felt like I had a purpose in life. My work was helping others. That was one thing that always seemed to be missing previously. I loved that job. Unfortunately, for a few reasons, there came a time where I needed to find something else for awhile. 

So when this job opened up, I saw it as an opening back into the nonprofit world. A world that I had missed, a world where I felt purpose. After a year on the job, I have that feeling again - that feeling of purpose, of meaning. It makes the work I do so much more enjoyable. 

One of the best parts of my Graphic Design and Marketing Director position is the variety. This is what I've always enjoyed about most of my jobs - that every day looks completely different, not the same thing every single day. And this job seems to be the best compilation of skills needed. So in case you have no idea what it is exactly that I do, let me take a minute to tell you... 

I get to be creative!! I spend my days creating graphics for social medias, flyers, events, brochures and program guides. I am the official Y photographer for all programs, events and every day activities. I write - letters, emails, newsletters, press releases, various content for marketing pieces, etc. I manage the upkeep of our website, which always seems to need updating. I manage mailing lists and advertising information. I've done more video producing this year than in my past 10 years combined. I help manage our social media accounts. I've become the point of contact for our new reservation system and mobile app. I make sure everything is following the Y's brand standards. I provide marketing support not only for the Y, but for the many programs we offer - mentoring, camp, preschool, STRIDE, fitness and wellness, aquatics, after-school, membership, the skate park, our annual campaign, etc. 

I keep busy. I often have a long list of projects that need to be completed. My door is always open as people tend to just stop in my office when they have a new request. I'm always multi-tasking on a few different things. But let me be very clear here: I love it.

I love the busyness. I love the long lists of projects. I love the challenge of having much to accomplish. I love the feeling of finishing a project or a job well done. 

After a month or so on the job, I found myself getting into a groove. I was finding my footing, making plans for what I wanted the role to look like moving forward. I had some new ideas and great momentum working with our marketing committee. But by March of this year, everything got derailed. 

Suddenly, I was doing a job I had no idea how to do; a job I never imagined having to do. I was learning how to be a marketing director for a gym and nonprofit during a world pandemic with no previous or specific experience to rely on. Obviously, we were all in this sort of position, but that does not take away from the challenge it was. We were making adjustments in real time, finding ways to stay connected to members while our doors were closed, basically just trying to stay above water. Things I had planned couldn't happen, projects I was working on were no longer needed. It was a complete shift. Honestly, it was not the type of curveball I was expecting from my first "real adult job". :)  

Looking back on the past few months, I am proud. I'm proud of our team for everything we did and continue to do. I am proud of the work I accomplished. I'm proud of how I grew in the face of the challenges in front of me. My word of the year for 2020 is Bloom. I feel confident in saying that I feel like I have flourished in my professional world. I stepped up when it was needed and continue to produce strong work. All of this is why this job has been so amazing. I feel a sense of purpose; I feel challenged; I feel myself growing; I feel grateful for the job. I am happy. 

And on top of all of that, I work with some of the most amazing people.  

So one year later... I am as excited to come into work every day as I was on my very first day. Maybe more so! I am happy. I am fulfilled. I feel a sense of belonging. I feel like I have found my calling. 

Rollercoaster Day

Today was a rollercoaster kind of day. I've managed to stay away from the toxic social media stuff for two days now (yay me!) but was feeling anxious this morning. Today I was planning on spending the entire day in my office at the Y. The first time since late March. The first time I hadn't spent at least part of the day at home with Jacob. 

There was a lot to be done at work. We were working with a temporary deadline of opening the Y on Monday, May 18, although none of us really believed it would happen, we wanted to get the building ready so that we could open by then. The biggest thing stressing me out this morning was signs. Seems like it should be simple enough but I promise you, it's complicated. 

After a video chat with a co-worker, I realized that I had an even more urgent problem that needed to be taken care of before signs - our website. My freakout shifted to this new project. In our conference call at the end of the day, I got the green light to make the website my priority and could feel myself take a break, relax a bit. The day had been long and I'm not even sure I accomplished much of anything other than adding more projects and anxiety to my plate! But I left the Y with a bit of a spring in my step. Tomorrow would be a new day.

Then, I got a text from a co-worker. It said "Gyms opening June 1st". 

I've got to be honest, I started to freak out again. Yeah, we were working towards this temporary deadline of Monday but without any real conviction. June 1st was an actual hard deadline. And it's a deadline that we need to meet. And I don't know what you do for work, but you can't just reopen the doors of a business and have everything the way it once was. So much has changed. So much needs to be done. We're working on a reopening plan but it's not done. We need to get the website done, a new reservation tool in place, equipment moved, new policies decided, the list goes on and on and on and on... 

And June 1st seems like it's right around the corner. 

In addition to that, I was told that Jacob had a mini meltdown during the day because he missed me and I wasn't around. The kid's gotten use to me being there! Even if I was always working on my computer. Luckily, no one told me of his meltdown until I left work! :) 

But it's like the train is suddenly moving fast. I was hoping to gradually start transitioning back into working from the office full time, but with such an important deadline, I feel like I have no option but to be at the Y as much as possible until June 1st. Once we open and we figure out how this new normal will work, that can be relaxed a bit. But just as quickly as Jacob's life was changed when school closed, it's changing again with me going back to the office, but him still having no school to go to. It feels a bit... like I'm off balance, maybe? 

I don't know what the next two weeks or so are going to look like, but I have a feeling it's going be intense. Which is also disappointing as I wanted to commit to a more slow season. So bear with me. 

Bear with everyone. Be kind. We all need it. 

A Sense of Calling

So, some of you may know that for a long time I've struggled with this sense of a calling or passion when it came to jobs. Previous blog posts have outlined this... (Identity Crisis, Longing, Marketing & Branding and Thoughts from Bed)

I've worked at quite a few places over the past seven or so years. I think I have been successful in some and failed at a couple. At each job there were things that I loved and I have been very blessed to say that I've worked with some amazing people. But each job was missing something. Looking back, I'm not sure I could tell you exactly what it was, but it had to do with a sense of calling. 

Every time I found myself looking for new jobs (which seemed like a lot!), I would wonder: what am I doing with my life? What type of job do I want? What would fulfill me in a way that previous jobs haven't? I've always been jealous of those people to know what they're meant to be doing in life and even better, are doing it! I never had that. Each time I would apply for jobs, I would hope and pray that something would just pop out at me and say: "Liz! This is what you need to be doing! This is your job!" Needless to say, it wasn't happening. But still, I hoped. 

When GE decided to sell GE Capital, I decided I did not want to continue working collections under another company. Although I was in no big rush as there was no timeline in the sale at GE, I just started casually looking for jobs in Minnesota. Hey, no better time to move back to my home state, right? And so that's what I did. Occasionally looked for jobs, saving some, but applying to none. 

Then, what I had been praying and hoping for, finally happened. A job appeared on my screen. Communications and Volunteer Coordinator. At a non-profit. In my hometown. It was too good to be true! Being able to use my communications skills, working with volunteers, doing some good in the community and being close to my family. I started working on my application right away. 

It was seriously the only job I applied to during this time. I got a call before Memorial Day weekend asking me to come in for an interview. I stayed and talked with the director for an hour and half. I left feeling excited, feeling motivated and already brainstorming ideas. The next couple of weeks were hard, some issues pushed back the timeline and I was getting nervous that I wouldn't be offered the job. But then, the offer came. Again, with a minor set back, but I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by. I accepted. 

And now I'm here, on the job. My first two days were a whirlwind of HR paperwork and an overload of information. Partners for Affordable Housing is a fairly big organization but with a small staff. I quickly realized there was much to be done. I was overwhelmed with all the information about what we do as an organization and all the ways we help people, but also with the fact that there are so many more people we aren't helping. 

My first full week was another busy one. I learned that PAH has never really had a true Communications person on staff. A local agency generously donates time and services but this can only do so much. The organization itself has been around for a while so we have a good handle on what we do in the community. But the opportunity to tell our story - that is wide open. I have never been more excited to start a job. 

There's a lot that needs to be done before I can really begin to tell our story. Information needs to be collected, organization needs to done. I also have to figure out my time that will be spent as the Volunteer Coordinator (a job that will get busier once school is back in session). But the challenges that are before me are ones that I cannot wait to work on. I can't wait to start telling our story. I can't wait to bring more people in to volunteer and let them help share our story. I can't wait to be able to say that I am making a difference in the lives of the people we help every day. And I can't wait to say that one day, we will be able to help even more people. 

I honestly have never felt this type of excitement or passion in a job, especially right away. I have that sense of calling. That sense of passion. There is so much work to be done in our community when it comes to homelessness and the cost of living. I really want to help make a difference. I want to make people aware of these issues. I want to let people know how they can help. I feel a sense of value and purpose here. And this is what I have been missing. 

There is a lot of opportunity at Partners for Affordable Housing. Not necessarily to move up in positions, but to make a difference. To have an impact. And that is something I cannot wait to do. 

So help me get started! Like us on Facebook  and follow us on Twitter. Like and share and retweet to help us get the word out about what we do! #PAHlife 

Identity Crisis

I'm not sure 27 is old enough to have a mid-life crisis, so maybe I'm just having an identity crisis. I've had a lot of time to think lately, during feedings and nap times, while applying for jobs. And I'm struggling to figure out my place in this world. 

I've written about this before, it's not the first time I've had this struggle. I'm not sure what my passion in life is. With a degree in Communications, it allows me to do a wide variety of things when it comes to finding a job. And that's part of the reason why I majored in Communications. In fact, my fellow comm arts majors and I would joke that the only reason why we're majoring in communications is because we don't know what we want to do in life. But I guess there's some truth in that too. 

I don't know what I want to do in life. 

I haven't found my calling, my vocation - the thing that Wartburg was suppose to help you find. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Even when I get asked that question - if you could do anything in the world, your dream job, what would it be? - I don't know what to answer. 

I envy those who know what their calling and their passion in life is. My husband, for one. He's a talented, amazing, passionate music teacher. He knows that this is what he should be doing. He's great at his job, he has the passion, the energy, the drive. There's no doubt in his mind that this isn't what he should be doing with his life. Not that he doesn't have his bad days, or even weeks. Everyone does. My sister is another. She just started her first calling as a Pastor in Northern Minnesota. She knows that God has called her to that role. And for that type of job, you have to know that is was a calling from God. And when you see her in her element, you can see she's doing what she should be doing. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I've enjoyed my past jobs. At Kruger, I loved the variety and multiple aspects and projects of the job. I even loved working with farmers. :) But there was not really any room to move up at that job, unless I was willing to relocate to St. Louis and that was something I didn't want to do. And looking at the company now, the marketing department is no longer there. I would have either had to move to St. Louis or lost my job. And I have to say that looking back and remembering the struggle it was to leave that job and move to Western Iowa so Austin could start his first job, God's plan is amazing. 
At UNO, I loved the people I worked with. And I really enjoyed going out and talking to students about UNO and education, helping them make important decisions about their future. And now looking at that, it's a little ironic my job was to help others start working towards their plans for future careers when I didn't know what my future holds! But that job required a lot of travel and that wasn't something I wanted to do forever either. And moving up in higher education is hard without a Masters degree and even then, opportunities are someone limited unless you're willing to move to find them. 

So would I like to continue to work in higher education? Yes, possibly. But I'm not in a place where I want to go back to school right now. And in that case, I don't know what I would get a Masters degree in either. Would I like to find work in marketing or communications? Sure, but I haven't found that actual job or industry that I feel really passionate about. 

The other thing I struggle with is achievements. When I look around to my peers, people that I've graduated with or have even graduated after me, some of them are in great jobs that they're really passionate about. And some of them are in really great positions, i.e. managers, directors, etc. I look at myself and doubt my skills - would I be able to be in a position like that? I feel like I haven't had opportunities to prove (mostly to myself) if I could or not. Or maybe I haven't tried hard enough. Or maybe I'm really just not good enough. But I feel jealous of those people. Not only because they're doing something they love, but because they've been successful when I haven't. It makes me feel like a failure. 

Someone recently posted an article on Facebook titled "Five Lies every Twenty-something Needs to Stop Believing". And I'm not going to lie, I think it was posted for me. I needed to read it. I need to re-read it. Again and again. It made a lot of good points about struggling, success and feeling like a failure. And so it was a great reminder. I'm only 27. I have a lot of life ahead of me still. I can still do great things. But then I'm back to... what is it that I'm suppose to be doing in life to do those great things?

I've recently become a mother. And for the past 10 weeks, I've spent every day, and almost every hour, with my precious baby. And for the past 10 weeks, I have loved every day. There were certainly times when I was stressed out and overwhelmed with taking care of a baby, but I still loved it. I love being a mom. I love having someone little, who is so dependent on me, to take care of. I love watching him grow and change every day. I love interacting with him. I love teaching him. I love loving him. 

I think that I would love to be a stay at home mom. I would love to stay at home everyday with my baby boy. Being able to spend that precious time with him day in and day out. Help him grow. Teach him how to walk, how to talk. To see every moment happen. That's what I think I would love. But unfortunately, it's just not realistic. We need two incomes. If only I could get paid to be a mom. Let's be real, I'd be a millionaire because I'm such an awesome mom. ;-) 

So I've had a couple interviews. Some with jobs I think I would really enjoying doing and others for jobs that I could most certainly do, but might not fully enjoy. I haven't gotten any job offers yet though and every time I get a phone call or email saying "no thanks" or "we've gone a different direction", I get that feeling of failure again. And I know God has a plan, I do. If I had gotten any of the jobs I had earlier interviews for, I would already be back to work. Instead I've gotten to spend more time with my little man. And so I'm confident that something is going to come along. And I'm confident that it will be what I'm suppose to be doing right now. But will it be my calling? My passion? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe time will tell. 

But I'm definitely learning how to be patient. Job searching tests my patience every day. Putting in applications and then waiting. Getting an interview and then waiting. Always waiting. And I'm not a very patient person. So each day I remind myself - patience, Liz, patience. God has a plan. God will provide. It can get very overwhelming, especially as my maternity leave is coming to an end. So again, I say to myself - it will all work out. God knows what He's doing. Even when he doesn't tell me! :) 

And so here I am. Waiting to find a job. Waiting for my calling. Waiting to find my place in this world. Waiting. 

But while I wait, I'll go spend some more time with that cute baby of mine.

Keeping Busy

Okay, now we've definitely been keeping busy!

Annie rehearsals have been in full swing for a while and with our performances next week, we're really working hard! Rehearsals are pretty much every day from 6:30pm until around 9:30 or 10pm. Last night it was 10:30. This makes for a rather long day. Especially on the days I have orientation at work. On orientation days, I have to be at work by 7am which means my alarm goes off at 5am and I'm out the door around 6am. Those are very long days. Luckily however, we don't have any orientation days next week, the week of our performances! So I'm very happy about that!

Annie has been a good experience for us! It's gotten us out of the house actually doing something! (We like to really just enjoy the time we have to ourselves right now and normally not have to do a whole lot of anything. But I know that this has been good for us for when we do have little ones running around and keeping us busy in the future!)  We've also met a lot of really great people! The cast is a fun group to work with! It's also been great having the chance to get back on stage and for me, to really sing again! It's been so long since I've gotten to sing, you forget how much you love it! And it's been fun working with AJ, with him working as the Music Director and as a fellow cast member. I think we were both a little nervous about it since we like to butt heads so much... ;-) but it's been really good and really fun to work with each other.

Another bit of exciting news is that AJ has gotten a part time summer job!! YAY!! :) I might be a little bit more excited about this than he is... haha! AJ will be working at Enterprise at the Omaha airport. Basically he will just be driving cars back and forth between some locations at the airport. So it's pretty simple, just part time and just for the summer! Plus, it's at the airport! And if you know AJ, you know how much he loves airplanes!! I just hope he keeps his eyes on the road while he's driving and not up in the sky watching the planes!

As soon as he has that schedule worked out, he'll also be doing voice lessons for some of his students. So he will be keeping busy this summer! Which is good. For both of us. :)