Sometimes I suck at blogging...

Ha! 

Life comes at you fast. One moment, it's the middle of fall and I'm working two jobs and the next moment, it's 2020 and I have a completely new job! So let's recap, shall we? 

My last update was in August. So we'll pick up there. 

We of course got another State Fair trip in. You just can't finish summer without going to the State Fair! The food!! :) It was a bit rainy, but overall a great day. 

Jacob is loving Kindergarten. He has an amazing and supportive teacher and is really thriving. The year started a bit rough, with Jacob having some of the same issues he did the year before on concentrating and staying on task. We decided to start up the daily check in/check out charts that he did in Knights Plus. These have 100% helped keep Jacob focused. It solved the behavioral problems we were having and really keeps Jacob on task. He is bringing home 100% on his charts pretty much every day. I'm very proud of him. 

When it comes to reading and math, Jacob is rocking it as well. His teacher told me at conferences last fall that Jacob is in the advanced reading group, often getting future sight words ahead of time so that he stays challenged. It's so much fun listening to him read books to us. He also loves math and is probably more advanced here too, mostly because we tend to make Jacob do more math at home and create our own problems for him. He is a smart cookie. It's also fun to see the different art projects he brings home and how his talent is evolving - and his imagination! 

In September and October I once again took on a part time job at Fun.com. I was hoping to use the extra cash this year for Christmas shopping and such, but ended up spending most of it on unexpected dental work I had to get done. Super fun. It was another crazy season and I've promised my family that it was my last season at Fun.com. I've told everyone to hold me to this next fall! :)  

We did manage to get some fall fun adventures in though! We spent a day at the Center Creek Orchard, which was a lot of fun for everyone there, except my Dad. We also got a trip into the Minnesota Zoo before school started. We went to the Children's Museum's Dig It Event, where Jacob got to climb, ride and even help drive some large equipment. It was so fun to watch him explore and play. His Aunt Megan came for a visit in October as well and did some fun science experiments, visited the local history museum and spent some time outdoors. Jacob really enjoys his visits with Aunt Meg! 

For Halloween, Jacob was spoiled with two costumes (Thank you, Fun.com employee discount!). He was a red devil for his school party and then for trick or treating, a very scary angler fish! That costume was a hit and even won Jacob the Most Creative Costume prize at the Rec Center party!

Jacob and I had a weekend adventure in November, full of fun! We started on Friday night at the Razzle Dazzle Light Parade in Madelia, a reading festival and some time at the Pepsi Rec Room at the YMCA on Saturday morning. We saw some huge dinosaurs at Jurassic Quest that afternoon and ended the day seeing Frozen II. On Sunday, we hit up the Mall of America and explored the Crayola Experience. It was such a fun time of making memories! 

Jacob also lost his first tooth in November!! On a Friday night he said, "Mommy, guess what!? I have a loose tooth!" and on Monday, I got a picture from school - Jacob had lost that tooth! He was super excited for his first visit from the tooth fairy and even slept in his own bed that night! (Woot!) He's growing up quickly. 

The holidays and December weren't anything special. We were fortunate to spend time with family, both in Iowa and Minnesota. And that's truly what matters most. I did make one change this year and decided not to sing at the Christmas Eve services at CTK. My mom had made a comment that Jacob should spend Christmas Eve in Iowa because the rest of us spend the entire day at church and that's not fun for a little boy, and that he needs some sort of tradition. And it stuck with me, only I didn't want to spend Christmas Eve without Jacob! So we created a new tradition! On Christmas Eve, we celebrate Grinchmas! We went to church and spent the day hanging out in Whoville, watching the different Grinch movies and having ourselves a Grinchmas Feast! 

And to start off the new year, we took a family vacation to Hawaii to celebrate my mom's birthday! We spent the week on Maui, exploring, going on different tours and spending plenty of time at the beach. It was a much more relaxing vacation that our last family trip (Disney World) and I think everyone agreed they'd visit Hawaii again. In fact, Jacob already wants me to start planning our next trip there. For next week. ;-) 

Now January has come and gone as well, but the year is off to a good start. Work, school and all is going well. Jacob has started swimming lessons at the Y and he goes to those on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I'm not sure if it was because we had just gotten back from vacation and spending so much time in the water, but Jacob is really thriving at lessons. He's dunking his head in, jumping in and really starting to get the hang of swimming. It's been a blast to watch. 

And in other news.... 

Also in November, I stayed true to my "two years per job" tradition and started as the Graphic Design and Marketing Director at the Mankato YMCA. To say I was excited for this new adventure is an understatement. 

I am so grateful and appreciative of my time at Eide Bailly. I worked with an incredible team, made some great friends and learned a lot. And looking back on my time with Eide Bailly, it was absolutely the job I needed at that point in my life. It was a secure job that paid well and had great benefits. But it was also a job where I wasn't the one in charge. I didn't have to make the big decisions, I did what I was told. And this is exactly what I needed in this time of my life with so much else going on. Some days it took everything I had to focus on work. During this time when everything else was falling apart, taking all of my energy and focus, I needed a job that I could come into every day and be told what to do from 8-5 and not leave at 5 still thinking about work. Eide Bailly gave me that. 

As time went on, I would be asked what I thought my future looked like. Asked how I wanted to grow in my career, what my next move was going to be. And I honestly didn't have an answer. I felt stuck, unsure where to go next. Yet I started to want more, I just didn't know what that was. 

One day I saw a Facebook posting for a job at the YMCA. Graphic Design and Marketing Director. And it was like this fire was ignited inside of me. I read through the job description multiple times. I couldn't help but think this is the perfect opportunity. I applied and received a call about an interview the very next day. I interviewed, I thought it went great, I became even more excited for this prospect. But then I didn't hear anything. And I realized just how much I wanted this job, because of how disappointed I was thinking I didn't get it. Luckily, that wasn't the ending. I did get a call again and was offered the job. I accepted. 

I started in early November and I can honestly say that I love this job. Not a day goes by where I doubt my decision to be here. Each day is crazy busy, full of variety, and allows me to be creative in ways I haven't been in years. It's overwhelming and challenging all in a good way. In the short time I've been here, I've been pushed professionally, helping me grow and be better. And when I say that my To Do List is never-ending, I am not exaggerating! 

I love being back at a nonprofit. I love feeling like I'm making a difference. I love being able to see my work come together and make something. I love the team of people that I get to work with every day. I love their passion and their enthusiasm. I also love their support of me in my position. 

Busy Busy

I'm officially a month into the new job. It feels both like I've been here forever and for no time at all. I'm enjoying all the work so far although there is a huge learning curve and that will only get better with time. But so far, I think this was the right move to make.


I don't think I could tell you where the past month went....


Jacob started preschool and his first day did not start out like I expected. He had been asking to go to school for months! So excited to ride the bus! When we pulled up to the school that first day, Jacob said to me "I want to go to Amber's". Broke my heart. The poor kid did not want to get out of the car, he was so nervous! Which isn't like him at all! We finally got him into the school and once he was in his classroom, he was good to go! He saw the dinosaurs and was ready to play! On his second day, he said to me in the car, "I'm not scared to go to school today, Mom." :)


He's been enjoying school every since! He gets dropped off in the mornings by either myself or his Grandpa or most likely his Grandma... there was some adventure there on whether or not Jacob was old enough* to ride the bus to school in the morning. (*Grandparents not being ready for this! ha!) He rides a smaller bus and gets dropped off right at Amber's door before lunch. He wouldn't really share too much about school at first but he's slowly opening up more and telling us things. He's always excited to share when he gets to be a helper with something - the carpet squares, weather, bell ringer, etc.


He can spell his own name and gets very excited every time he sees the letter "J"! I had him trace his name on a card the other day and he was saying things like "Down, around, curve around..." It was so cute! I love watching him learn new things and grow! He'll also come home singing different songs which of course, is adorable. He went on a field trip to the apple orchard a couple of weeks back and came home and told us how you "grab and twist" to pull down the apples.


My only problem with school is that Jacob does get pretty tired in the morning and will generally take a really good nap at daycare. By the time bedtime rolls around, the kid has all of his energy back!! Maybe he was ready for a full day of school! :)


Jacob also started swimming lessons again. I think he misses the lessons when parents would go in the pool to because he keeps asking both me and his dad, "Are you coming in?" :) Also, Jacob is definitely that kid that won't do anything the teacher is asking and instead stands back a little ways, looks around for us and waves with a big smile on his face! haha I also have to say that this class (why only this class, I have no idea) is giving me mini-heart attacks! HA! There's just two teachers and a handful of four year olds. They move themselves along the wall of the pool into the deeper section and sit on the edge. Jacob's sat on the edge of the pool no problem before but there are a couple of other kids who like to jump or slide off the edge when they're not suppose to - i.e. no one is there to catch them! It's terrifying and I'm just waiting for Jacob to decide to do that as well! I am no okay with this! I swear, Jacob better not be any good at sports (his parents' histories help here...) because I do not think I'm going to be the type of mom who can just watch things happen without freaking out! Seriously!


Jacob also got to enjoy some time at a temporary daycare, literally just down the street from Amber's while Amber had her baby! He did really well with this transition! As we kept getting closer to him going back to Amber's, I would ask if he was excited to see and play with the new baby. And his response would be, "Yes, I'm going to play with the little Frank the Combine" hahaha Jacob is obsessed with Frank the Combine from the movie Cars. He has a Frank toy, but at Amber's there is a smaller one. He kept telling us that he wanted to get a smaller one and that we should go buy one. Finally I said maybe for Christmas or Easter he could get it.


And speaking of Frank the Combine, this is what Jacob will be going as for Halloween.... as soon as I finish the costume. He super excited. He also said that mommy has to be Lightning McQueen and daddy is Tow-Mater. So, AJ and I both have t-shirts to wear so Jacob can chase us. Then he said that Nana and Papa were going to be the tractors that tip over! This kid.


Jumping in at Eide Bailly and learning as much as I can, as quickly as I can, things have stayed very busy. There is definitely plenty of work to do and it does get a little bit easier every day. What's nice about the job though is that it's very easy to leave everything at work when I'm done for the day. And I love that. Everyone has been very welcoming so far and I've also realized that I'm probably going to gain a bunch of weight while working here. Almost every day it seems like there are some sort of treats or desserts or snacks in the lunch room! I've got to work up my self-control!


I also started at Fun.com again and am really enjoying that. It's pretty easy money, doing customer service via chat and email. And because it feels so easy, I keep wanting to put myself down to work more hours... forgetting of course that my parents can only handle so much of Jacob on top of everything else and that I need sleep. My mom (well and a lot of other people) kept telling me to slow down. But I'm so close to paying off my last credit card and I was racing towards that finish line. But my body decided it needed to remind me slow down and I got a cold that just knocked me out. I basically slept for two days and while I still don't have much of a voice, I am feeling better. And ready to jump back into things... :) I just have to make it to November......


It's funny but I've come to think of October as the one month out of the year that I want to both go by incredibly fast and take as long as possible. Totally doable, right? I love working at Fun but sometimes wish that time away, ready to relax in November. But October is also my favorite month and I don't want that time to just fly by. I love the weather and the activities. There's not enough time for both! Maybe one year, I'll just have one job in October. :)


One of those two days of sleeping was my birthday, so it was pretty low-key. My parents and Jacob sang to me in the morning, Jacob showed me the brownies he and my mom made and gave me a present that he picked out - a lovely smelling candle! Then my mom said to Jacob, "Jacob, what did you want to get mommy for her birthday?" And Jacob said "A small Frank the Combine!" hahaha Sadly, they were out of those at the store.


Jacob got to spend the other weekend down in Iowa with his Zaruba Nana and Papa and his favorite cousin Evie! He had an absolute blast! We also went to a Vehicle Fair and Harvest Festival at the Children's Museum, visited another Fall Festival out at Terrace View golf course, went to a Fall Festival at the elementary school and harvested grapes. It's been a pretty busy fall! And of course, Papa and Mark have finally been able to get into the fields so Jacob has had a couple of combine rides. And he is still in heaven. He took a ride with mark the other day and basically talked nonstop the entire time! Mark had a phone call and the guy on the phone even asked "Who's in the combine with you?!" HA!


I think that's about it for an update for us right now. I'm sure they'll be more again soon!

A Hesitant Welcome to Fall

For maybe the first time ever, I am hesitant for the start of fall. 

Fall has always been my absolute favorite time of the year. The cooler weather. The beautiful colors. Open windows and warm drinks. Hay rides, apple orchards and pumpkins. Bonfires and football. Sweatshirts and boots. A fall rain. Birthdays and anniversaries. The start of a new school year and new school supplies. Homecomings and Outfly. Halloween and candy corn. The season of harvest and combine rides.

While my love of fall has not diminished, I must admit that I'm welcoming this fall season with a touch of hesitancy and melancholy.

This fall season will be my first since the divorce. I'm not sure I understand how to handle that.

How do I reflect on that fateful September weekend? How do I handle the memories of wedding planning or the pictures that show up on social media? Should I expect my birthday to feel different? How do I acknowledge the date of our wedding?

I don't know how to feel about these. I don't know if there should be a specific emotion. It doesn't feel right to just let it all slip by but it also doesn't feel right to make a big fuss.

In addition to all of that, Jacob is starting preschool. And while logically this has to happen and kids grow up, there is still some gut punching feeling of sending your baby off to school. Proud, yet nervous. Excited, yet scared. Happy, yet sad.

His first year of school. A new phase of his life. A new start. A new adventure. A new beginning. It's a bit terrifying. 

We had orientation night the last week of the month and Jacob of course was in heaven, playing with the dinosaurs. And earlier this week, Jacob had his first "conference" where we had a chance to meet his teacher one and one (Jacob played with the dinosaurs) and got his picture taken! 

And in case you've missed the news, I'm starting a new job.

I'll be working as a Marketing Assistant at Eide Bailly. I'm excited and nervous. I'm anxious and trying to stay confident. I'll have a lot to learn as this is a new industry for me, but that's part of the challenge I enjoy. Eide Bailly is a CPA and consulting firm. I think it's going to be a great next step as I continue my career.

I am incredibly sad to be leaving PAH and the amazing team I work with. But part of what I loved about getting a job at Eide Bailly is their willingness to give back to the community. I'm excited to continue supporting PAH, just in a different capacity. 

Fall seems to demand these new and fresh starts. I found this quote on pinterest and it really seems to fit my life. 

Looking back at the month of August, I would say we had a successful last month of summer. Jacob got to spend some time in Iowa at the beginning of the month - something he ALWAYS looks forward to! :) We did manage to freeze some corn this summer. We didn't do any last summer because the crop wasn't great. Let me tell you, freezing corn is not as much fun when there are only three people working! Ha! But we managed! 

We made it to another Tractor Pull as well, but Jacob didn't last as long as I thought he would! Jacob and I also went camping in the backyard on night! This was Jacob's first time in a tent and he was super excited! He was a great helper too when it came to pitching the tent and taking it down. And we also made it to a "On the Move" event where Jacob could go exploring different vehicles like a dump truck, school bus, firetruck, etc. He loved it. 

We took a week vacation and headed north. We had a small cottage on the lake at a resort near Meg's. The weather was a little chillier than we were hoping for, but we still managed to have some boat time out on the lake and Jacob even did a bit of swimming. We visited different parks for some hikes and even drove up to International Falls one day! It was as relaxing as a vacation can be with a four year old. :) 

We also got a State Fair visit in! Jacob was a big fan of the food and really wanted to try out all the rides. Unfortunately time limited us there but we did make it down the big slide once! Megan and I stuck around the cities and went back to the State Fair that night for the Pentatonix concert!! Megan got tickets for her birthday and invited me along. It was amazing! Such a great concert, I wish it would have lasted a lot longer!!  

Looking forward to the next couple of months, things will pick up and be extremely busy as we apparently like to be during this fall season. Jacob will be doing swimming again, which will start at the end of September. There are a couple of fall festivals that we plan on attending around the area and hopefully another visit to Iowa for Jacob! 

I will once again be working part time at Fun.com and might be even crazier for doing that this year on top of a brand new job. But I'm going to give it a shot. And so, if you're willing and able to watch Jacob, let me know. I'll probably take you up on the offer! :) 

Jacob has been asking if it was fall yet for a while. He's been so excited to start school, to ride the combine and to dress up as Frank the Combine (Disney's Cars) for Halloween! :) And speaking of which... I should probably get started on that costume... 

Welcome, Fall. 

The end of winter

One thing I hope to do better at this year is keeping up with my blogging. Even if it's just monthly recaps about our daily lives. I really enjoy being able to go back and have these to help remember what's going on. 

February has come and gone and so has March pretty much. :) 

Jacob really enjoyed his big boy swimming lessons (no parents in the pool). Surprisingly, he did much better listening to the teachers than he did when we were in the pool with him. :) Ha! You can really see how he's getting more and more comfortable in the water. He's picking up on the kicking and scooping and with the help of his frog floatie, he can really move himself around the pool. He even went down the big slide at the Rec Center a couple of times! Although, one time he might have gone more under water than he was used to and that spooked him a bit! But he graduating level 3 swimming and can move on to level 4! 

Jacob also enjoyed his ECFE classes. Generally, he zones in on one particular toy (a truck or tractor) and won't do much exploring with all the other activities they have. But he started to expand on that this session. He really enjoyed the sensory bin, playing with play-doh and even some imaginative play in the kitchen! He really was quite adorable, telling us the pan was too hot and not to touch! :) He also did incredibly well when it came to circle time and singing along with the songs. Hearing him sing the "Hello" song - adorable. 

Overall, Jacob has really started to do more singing which of course just warms our hearts! It's so fun to listen to him singing songs he makes up and songs that we've been singing to him. He is still a huge fan of Big Block Singsong but he also is really into Veggie Tales songs as well. And of course, many of the favorite nursery rhymes! He's still very much into dinosaurs and DinoTrux! And he has had a renewed love of reading! He is really enjoying the Pigeon books right now and we read them so much, he can pretty much read all of them back to us! It's pretty adorable when he just randomly starts quoting a book! We're really looking forward to the warmer weather to get back outside more often! 

Jacob also got to spend a weekend in Iowa at the "Zuba farm" with his grandparents and cousin Evie. He was seriously counting down the days until he could go and once we picked him up, he talked for days about how much fun he had! :) And of course, he's already asking when he can go back! 

I also have to take a moment to talk about this sweet kid Jacob. Even though he's only three and a half, the kid has a huge heart. He is the sweetest, most kind boy. And it melts my heart. Randomly he will come up to me and say "hug?" and then give me a great big hug and say "I love you so much". I don't know if he can sense when I need those hugs or just really is the sweetest boy, but it stops me in my tracks every time and I am reminded about how blessed I am to be this little boy's mother. Before swimming the other day, we were waiting for class to start and he just random says "I love you mommy. And I love my daddy!" Or when he slept all night in his own bed the other night and was telling him how proud I was of him the next morning and I said, "Give me a high five!" Jacob looked at me, thinking and said, "Or I give you a hug!" :) This weekend, he told Nana he needed to come give me a hug so that I feel better. And one day at daycare, he started crying for no reason and when Amber finally got an answer out of Jacob he said, "I miss my mommy". He still runs to me even if we've only been a part a little while, arms open and when I pick him up, he buries himself into a big hug. His little heart is so full of love. And I am so full of love for him. 

For me, February was a little crazy. We had our fifth annual Pedal Past Poverty event at work on the 25th. And while this day and the prep before hand are crazy enough of themselves, we also had to deal with a "incoming blizzard" that make things even more hectic. We managed to get everything to the Y on Thursday night before the snow and got everything set up by Friday afternoon. By Saturday, the weather was cold - but otherwise perfect for the event. We had a successful event and raised just over $92K! I am constantly amazed by this community and how caring and giving they are. 

I also did some more singing at church, singing with the praise band and agreeing to sing as one of the song leaders for the Holden Evening prayer for Lent. I even agreed to sing a solo at church the morning after Pedal Past Poverty. Probably not my best decision, but it went well. :) 

Jacob and I have successfully switched bedrooms and all the moving and organizing is pretty much done. Just a couple more pieces of furniture to remove. I also got a new mattress!! And I have to say, it is a huge improvement from the waterbed! :) It's pretty much my new favorite place! haha! 

Austin and I both signed our copies of the divorce papers as well. This was a hard day and made everything much more real. I am definitely mourning the lost of my marriage and I'm not sure how to handle that. 

We also visited my Grandpa R. who's been in need of some extra care. But he was in good spirits when we visited him! We've also been stopping in to see Great Grandma & Grandpa J. before school and after swimming. Jacob loves those visits because he almost always leaves with chocolate! :) 

March has been pretty low-key. We went out and celebrated Austin's birthday early with a dinner at Applebee's and a family fun night at the Wow Zone! Jacob was so cute, telling the waiter right away "it's my daddy's birthday" :) He also enjoyed sharing the cake and ice cream! At the Wow Zone, daddy and Jacob spent a good amount of time playing the Jurassic Park video game. And it was very fun to watch. Then we did a round of family bowling - Jacob's first time - and of course, Jacob won. :) 

I got to spend a day up at the Capital for Homeless Day on the Hill - raising awareness and advocating support to end homelessness in Mankato. It was my first time doing anything like that and while I didn't get to meet with as many representatives as I would have liked, it was still a really great day. I look forward to going back again next year. 

This past Thursday, we dropped Austin off at a treatment center in South Dakota. I won't write more about that here, I'm working on a separate blog post for that. 

I guess that about does it for us right now. Hopefully I'll be back again in another month. :) 

A month recap

First things first. I want to thank my amazing family and friends for all of your support and love following the last blog post. You all lifted me up, encouraged me and said things I needed to hear. I'm blessed to have each and every one of you in my life. Thank you. 

Second, I want to say again that I will continue to support Austin and his fight against addiction. He is still someone very special to me, someone I love, the father to our child, someone that I want the very best for. I hope that you'll join me in encouraging Austin in his fight for sobriety and show him the love and support he'll need in this battle. 

It's hard to believe the month of January is already gone. Overall, the month was pretty good. Work was super busy - we're hosting our Fifth Annual Pedal Past Poverty race on Saturday February 25 - feel free to look for ways to help! :) But preparations are in full swing.  

One not so great thing is I have a kidney stone. I've been dealing with it for nearly four weeks... I finally did a CT scan and the stone is 3mm. Meaning they can't do anything for me. :-/ So this has slowed me down quite a bit but working through each day. The one upside is that I'm drinking so much water, I have been able to completely cut out pop! 

On Saturday, January 21, I also proudly took part in the Women's March Minnesota in the Twin Cities. It was an inspiring day and amazing to know that I participated in something that will be a big part of history - nearly 90K people in Minnesota alone! I'm proud of the work the organizers for the March did and look forward to the continued work over the next four years. 

I'm going to take a quick pause here and say that I'm keeping this blog nonpolitical. Believe me, I have plenty of things to say regarding politics, but that place is not here. Instead, you can read those thoughts over at my other blog: PB&J. 

Back to the 21st... I have to admit that as much fun and for how amazing the day was, I really did myself in. That was the most activity I've done since getting kidney stones. And I did not drink nearly enough water. That night, I was in an incredible amount of pain. If you've never had kidney stones, it feels a lot like giving birth, but maybe worse. That Saturday night was definitely a long and terrible night. 

In continuing with the Year of Me... I've started to get my life more organized. Jacob and I have switched bedrooms and I'm working on making his room a place where he can really play and move the toys out of the living room. :) I'm going through boxes and getting rid of things we don't need and organizing what we do need. I'm getting a space set up to keep my bills, medical stuff, Jacob stuff, etc. organized. I've taken a look at my budget and made sure I'm making the most of each paycheck and getting more into savings. It's all a slow process, but I'm making some steps. 

We signed Jacob up for a few activities as well! He is officially in the "big boy" swimming lessons - where parents don't go in the pool with the kids! :) This is much easier for mom and dad and so fun to watch Jacob interact and learn on his own with just the teachers' help. We're also doing ECFE class again. It is amazing how much Jacob loves school. I really hope this continues! :) And in another big step, we submitted his application for preschool next year. I'm still not sure I'm ready for that, but Jacob certainly is! He's already excited and looking forward to it! 

I think that just about wraps it up for us. Let's see if I can continuing with my blogging this year. :)