Recent thoughts

I wanted to give up today. 

I wanted to give up on the world. There's just too much hate. Too much violence. Too much ignorance. Too much. I felt like the fight left. I didn't want to go on. What was the point?

And then I realized: that's exactly what HATE wants. It wants us to give up. It wants us to stop fighting the hate and give in. And that's exactly what we can't let happen. 

Today, maybe more than ever, we must stand up with LOVE. 

We must show that LOVE can win. LOVE will win. LOVE will conquer HATE. 


Early this morning, someone opened fire at a gay bar in Orlando, killing 50 people and injuring over 50 more. This is the worst mass shooting in America's history. It is not the first. And it is my fear that it will not be last. But it needs to be. 

We are better than this. We as Americans. We as Christians. We as Muslims. We as Atheists. We as Gay or Straight. We as Human Beings. We are better than this. Let's please be better than this. 

We can work together to end gun violence. Because that's the real issue here. Gun violence. Gun violence and hate. Enough is enough. This is not an issue anywhere else in the world and it should not be an issue in America. This is not the America I want my son to grow up in. We need to fight back. 

I will admit that when I learned the shooter reported to be an ISIS sympathizer, I shook my head. NOT because he was an ISIS sympathizer (which is an awful thing, yes), but because I knew this would give politicians (i.e. Republicans) an easy 'excuse' on why this violence happened. "This was a terrorist attack. We must project against Islamic extremists attacking our country." And while yes, those things are true, this attack is about so much more. 

This attack is about gun violence. How was a man who has mental health issues, was a previous domestic abuser and on the FBI terrorist watch list was able to easily and legally buy weapons? Why don't we have background checks that can catch these things and prevent these people from purchasing weapons? 

This attack is about specific gun violence. The shooter used an AR-15 assault rifle. This gun has been used in many previous mass shootings (Sandy Hook & San Bernadino). This was a weapon created for military use. This is a weapon that can kill hundreds within minutes. How is it possible that these weapons can be bought and sold every day? Why on earth do we need these in the hands of any civilian?

This attack was about hate. Do you think it was just a coincidence that the shooting happened at a gay bar? No. Why is it okay for us to spew hate about fellow human beings when it is in no way our place to judge them? Our ONLY JOB is to love. LOVE. And this hate is coming from those people in power. And until they stop allowing and speaking hate, I'm not sure what will happen. Love must be louder.

It has crossed my mind: what if this attack didn't happen in the exact circumstances it did? What if the shooter was an American white Christian male? Would we still be calling it a terrorist attack? Because it would still be a terrorist attack, just like the attack on Planned Parenthood, the attack in Charleston were terrorist attacks - even if we didn't use that terminology.  What if the shooter was a supporter of one of the many anit-LGBT politicians and carried out this attack in their name? How would politicians and the media respond then? And what if this attack wasn't at a gay bar but just a regular bar? Would the responses be different? I did notice that MANY leaders sent out their prayers but didn't even specify the LGBT community. Was that because they were the ones that were busy spewing the hate against these same people? I'm not going to lie, that pisses me off. 


So yes, today I wanted to give up. But we can't let that happen. We cannot let hate win. And so I decided that I'm not going to give up. I'm going to fight harder. Enough is enough. I officially have zero patience for any hate. 

So what can I do? Refuse to put up with it. I'm going to teach my son about love. Raise him to respect all humans and all lives. I'm going to teach him to love first. I'm going to make sure he knows I have zero tolerance for hate, and teach him to do the same. 

I'm not going to let hate into my life. I'm going to fight it with love. I'm going to show love in everything I do and to everyone I encounter daily. I will not allow hate. 

I will also pray and ask those around me to do the same. 

I'm not going to stay silent on gun violence any longer. Sure, you've probably seen my Facebook posts or retweets on Twitter. But that is no longer enough. I will be signing my name to every petition. I will be calling and writing my representatives. I will be demanding answers to why we continue to let this happen. I will be fighting in any way I can. Enough is enough. 

We don't have to live this way. So let's not. Let's make LOVE louder than hate. LOVE can win. LOVE will win. LOVE is stronger. 

Will you join me?