Jacob,
Today is your first day of Kindergarten. And I think I've been lying to myself about how big of deal today actually is - for both of us.
I thought your first day of Kindergarten wasn't a huge deal because you already did Knights Plus last year. You've already done school five days a week and for the full day. You've already ridden the bus, gotten lunch in the cafeteria, navigated the hallways and discovered the rules of the playground at recess. You did these things for a year already.
So I wasn't worried about today. I wasn't worried you would feel lost or get overwhelmed. There is no doubt in my mind that you'll have a great first day of Kindergarten.
Where I do start to worry is about the rest of the year. Because Kindergarten is a big first step. It's the official start of your formal education. It's the beginning of you being a big kid. Now there are various expectations and requirements and obligations. This is when you start to really grow and learn. This is when you start to form friendships that could later be tested and those that endure. This is when you start to discover more about yourself - your likes, your dislikes, your passions, your strengths. This is when things get real.
There is much that I hope and want for you, Jacob. Over the next year and again over the next thirteen plus years of school.
I hope that you grow to love learning and continue to seek out new things to learn. I hope that you will ultimately succeed in all that you decide to do. But I also hope that you realize that in order to succeed you will have mistakes and failures. I hope that you can accept your mistakes and learn from them. I hope that you continue to have a kind and compassionate heart. I hope that you will make friends easily and encompass many. I hope that you will always remember your manners. I hope that you will be brave and always stand up for what you believe in. I hope that your strength and bravery will also stand up for others in need. I hope that you always have the courage to do the right thing. I hope that you will learn to be grateful.
What I want, of course, is for life to be relatively easy for you. I want you to have minimal struggles and heartbreaks and disappointments. But since this is not how life works, I want - need - you to know that you will always be supported. You will always be loved. I want you to understand that you will always have people in your life who are there to help and guide you - myself, family, teachers, friends, our church community. I want you to understand that no matter what life throws at you, you are never alone. I want you to know that whatever happens in life, you are worth it.
As you begin Kindergarten, know that I will be here by your side. Know that your daddy is watching down on you from heaven. Know that you have a God that loves you and has amazing plans for you. And know that every day, I will pray for you.
I love you,
Mommy
PS Here's another letter to a Kindergartner wrote by another mom and that also speaks to my heart.
You had your first day of full time school today. You started Knights Plus - a clever program for late spring/summer babies who aren't quite ready for Kindergarden, but ready for more than Preschool. You go all five days during the week, for the full day. You pick the bus up near daycare and ride it back again after school.
We met your teacher earlier this week. You explored the classroom and were too excited to answer any questions really! You found legos and scissors that cut different designs. You helped put away your school supplies and found your cubby and the place to hang your backpack. You were told you'll have a lunch number now and so we practiced it until you had it memorized - it didn't take you long. When I picked you up from daycare on this day, I showed you were you would be getting on and off the bus. You told me, "I know Mom! You don't need to tell me!" I didn't know I didn't need to tell you!
I drove you to the bus stop this morning. While normally I'll drop you off at daycare and then you'll walk, I was having first day nerves. As we drove, I asked you some questions: Do you know where to get off the bus? "At school." Will you follow the other kids into the school building? "Yes." If you don't remember where your classroom is, you should ask an adult - can you do that? "Mom, I don't need to! I remember where my classroom is!" Okay, but in case you get lost, what do you do? "Ask an adult."
As the bus pulled up, I helped you out of the car and put your backpack on. The other kids were already on the bus so you took off running and yelled "Wait for me!" It was the cutest thing. That image of your running to the bus - a big bus - and stepping on board. You're really growing up.
I waited for the bus to pull away before getting back in the car. I took a couple of deep breaths. I didn't cry. I was a little surprised by that. I've felt like crying the past few days thinking about your first day. I wish your dad was here to see you head off to school - such a smart little man. I asked him to be with you and watch over you, keep you safe.
I need you to remember that you are smart. You are brave. You are kind. I will tell you often. I'm so proud you're my son.
I got a text and a picture from Amber about 3:30 - you made it through your first day! She asked you what was your favorite thing you did at school and you said, "snack!"
I wasn't surprised by your answer. And it was the same thing you told me when I asked you when I picked you up. You told me you had a great day, that you remembered your lunch number, that you liked eating in the cafeteria. You told me you had fun playing.
On the drive home, you started to yawn. I said, "You had a long day; are you tired?" And you said "Yes." I asked, "Are you going to go to bed early tonight?" And you said, "Nope!"
Typical.
I'm so happy you had a great first day. I'm happy you enjoyed riding the bus and there were no issues. I'm happy you're excited to go back again tomorrow. I'm happy for the friends you're going to make and the things you're going to learn. I'm happy that you're so happy!
Here's to a great year of Knights Plus, Buddy. I love you.
