An end to 2013

2013 has been quite the year - to say the least. It has, by far, been the most exciting, challenging, wonderful, frustrating, thrilling, amazing, exhausting, surprising, incredible and miraculous year. We've made a lot of mistakes, learned some hard lessons, grown into parents and created a ton of memories.

We started the year by announcing we were expecting a little bundle of joy! It was great to finally be able to shout about it! :) And my morning sickness had pretty much disappeared so I was finally able to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy.

Austin had a very successful spring with his Choir at Riverside, which made it very bittersweet when he decided to accepted a new job so we could be closer to family. Saying goodbye to such a supportive community after three years was very hard and the longer we're away, the more we miss them. We also celebrated my sister's graduation from seminary, a major accomplishment!

In June, we welcomed Jacob into this world and everything changed. We immediately fell in love with this sweet little boy. We spent the summer adjusting to life as new parents, while also packing and getting ready to move. Luckily we have great family and friends who made all of this so much easier on us!

This fall Austin and I both started new jobs, which has been very challenging for both of us for different reasons. I think that we both agree while we love being closer to family, a big part of us wishes we were still back in Western Iowa. But every day, we grow and learn something new and hoping there's a shift and we can start enjoying what we do. We also celebrated 4 years of marriage in October. Hard to believe that much time has past already!

We're ending the year celebrating with family, remembering the good times from the past year but also ready to move on to new beginnings in 2014. And here's hoping we can do exactly that. Cheers.

Things I've Learned

There are a lot of things I've learned in the past six months as a mom. And there are a lot of things they don't tell you about before you become a mom. Or they do tell you, but you're not really listening or you don't fully understand. But whatever the case, there are a lot of surprises about being a mom. And they're not all bad, just surprising. Here's my list.

•  It is amazing how well you learn to function on so little sleep and how quickly you learn
• Breastfeeding is hard. Like really hard. And there's a lot that goes along with it. Yes, it's better for baby and much cheaper than formula. But breastfeeding comes with it's own struggles. Like how so many things can affect your supply, how time-consuming it is to breastfeed and then if you're going to back to work, how time-consuming pumping is, how inconvenient it is to breastfeed outside of your home if you're not comfortable with it, how you're always wondering if you have enough milk for baby... I could probably go on
• Having to leave your baby at daycare for the very first time is one of the hardest things you'll have to do
• The constant worry you'll do about everything. Is my baby's head flat? Is he getting enough to eat? Am I taking care of all his needs correctly? On and on it goes...
• Being a mother is time consuming. The first few weeks, it seems like all I did was feed and change diapers. It was a never ending cycle! Then as he got older, it was still a lot of feeding but with more awake time, it was making sure he was having play time but always watching to make sure he was safe. And now , as we've started rice cereal and a bedtime routine, it seems my evening is gone before it even started. Getting the cereal ready, feeding (which takes a lot longer than breastfeeding!), bath time, stories and some songs and then trying to put him down and then I still need to pump before going to bed. Being a mom is exhausting.
• Even though being a mom is exhausting, it's amazing how you manage to still function and do what needs to be done. Before becoming a mom, I was pretty lazy. I enjoyed doing nothing, laying around and napping as often as I could. I was surprised at how quickly I was able to transition into being a mom and being responsible for a little one
• You also become a pro at multi-tasking. And also multi-thinking or multi-list making! :) Being able to do and think about so many things at once! Get the bath started, find some pajamas, warm some milk, find myself something to eat, call the doctor... the list could go on and on!
• And along with that, your to-do list is never-ending! There is always something to do, someone that needs to eat, dishes that need to be washed, laundry that needs to get done, books that you want to read.... But never enough time!
• There are no amount of words that can describe just how much and how deep you love your baby. And that you would do absolutely anything for that little one
• Listening to your baby cry is not fun, even when you know the crying is 'okay' (i.e. getting his nose suctioned out by the doctor), it's heartbreaking
• Having a baby is expensive. Yeah, we've all heard this one before. But it seems to hit you like a ton of bricks. I'm not just talking about things like diapers, wipes, food, etc. I'm talking about things that maybe slipped your mind... hospital bills (even more so if you have a c-section!), doctor visits, daycare and health insurance! Do you know how much a family insurance plan is versus a single? Let me tell you, it's a crap ton more.
•  You forget how to take care of yourself when you become a mom. You get put to the backburner. Baby comes first. It's a big adjustment to learn how to take care of a baby but also take care of yourself, because if you aren't well (physically, mentally, emotionally), your baby won't be either
• Even after the sleepless nights, the crying, the spit up, the poopy diapers, the exhaustion, you realize your baby isn't such a little baby anymore. And you want another one. Even if you had a hard pregnancy, a tough delivery, you miss being pregnant and you want to do it again. It's a crazy feeling. One that can't be explained to your husband who is still very much adjusting to life with just one little one around!  

 

Just because

Just a quick update because I can... :)

 

My baby continues to grow every day! Jacob can now sit by himself, although we tend to still keep the boppy or pillows around him because he'll occasionally fall over reaching for a toy or something and our hardwood floors are no fun to fall on! He also loves to face-plant himself into the pillows we put around him. He'll lean forward, face in the pillows, then sit back up with a huge smile on his face. It's pretty adorable. Jacob loves to explore and learn. He absolutely loves his activity table with a walker around it and has learned how to move himself some around the table to reach different toys. Just the other night, after finally getting batteries in the table, Jacob would hit some of the buttons and just squeal in delight! He will also work so hard to try and get something he wants. There's one toy that spins but Jacob wanted to put it in his mouth but it doesn't bend, just spins. But Jacob tried and tried to get it closer to his mouth, spinning it away! It was pretty cute to watch. He's still not crawling but is a pro and rolling back and forth from his back to tummy or tummy to back. And he is getting so close to crawling!

 

We've also tried some new things with Jacob to help with some tummy issues recently. Jacob has now tried prunes... something he is not a fan of! His face was priceless after those first bites! And he's tried some apple juice - out of sippy cup even - and he kept making a face when he would get a taste but wanted more! I'm sure it was pretty sweet and tart for him! I'm glad we gave it to him in a sippy cup versus a bottle because it was such a new flavor for him. Jacob also LOVES to watch us eat our food. And of course, he wants some! :) He's such a curious boy! And he'll reach out and try to grab our food if it's close enough! In fact, he was quick enough to grab Great-Grandpa's roll at Thanksgiving! I think it's going to be really fun to start introducing him to new foods since he's so curious! I'm planning on making all our baby food too so that should be quite an adventure for me! :)

 

Jacob has been teething for a while now, dealing with sore gums - which has not been fun for any of us! He loves to just gnaw on anything he can get his hands on - teethers, clothes, burp clothes, toys... But finally we can say some of his pain has been worth all the trouble its caused! Jacob's first tooth has started to make an appearance! His bottom front right tooth has cut. Pretty exciting find for me as I was letting Jacob chew on my finger the other night. :)

Our bath chair finally came in the mail and has made bath time a lot more fun and a lot easier! We actually put the chair in a laundry basket in the tub for two reasons. One, the bottom of our tub is textured so the chair won't suction to it. And two, the laundry basket actually keeps all of his toys reachable for him! Thank you Pinterest for the life hack! :) So bath time is still a lot of fun for Jacob! And he knows after he eats, he gets to take a bath. He will eagerly look towards the bathroom when he hears the water running!

And eating his evening meal is getting so much easier! Jacob has gotten so great about opening his mouth wide for a big spoonful of rice cereal! As we get closer to his 6 month appointment, I'm excited for when we can start trying new foods! I'm still planning on making all our baby food too so it would be nice to get a start on that!

Also, if you haven't visited our Vimeo video page recently, check it out. I try to update it as much as possible with some fun little videos of Jacob! I think it helps for all our family since they live far away. :)

Guest Blogger: Pastor Megan

As many of you probably know, I have an incredibly talented little sister. I continued to be amazed by her every day. I still think back to when she was just a little girl and was SO shy. I mean, so shy. She wouldn’t talk to anyone! Not even grandparents on the phone! Much less talk in front of a group of people! But that’s who my sister was, shy Megan. So I can still very clearly remember the day… it was at a TEC meeting, Megan and I were both working at an upcoming meeting and Megan was going to give a talk. And so when she stood up in front of the group of teens and adults at the meeting and spoke so passionately and eloquently, I think I went into shock! Where was my shy little sister? She had disappeared! And before me stood a woman of God. God so clearly had (has) this great plan for Megan. She is meant to help lead people. She is meant to be an instrument that God will talk through. She is going to do great things. I’ve seen this over and over in the past few years and once again, more recently. My mom forwarded me Megan’s sermon from a Sunday in October and I would have sworn it was written just for me. It was just what I needed to hear at that time in my life. And so I wanted to share it with you. Maybe it’s what you need to hear right now. Maybe you know someone else that needs to hear it. Or maybe I want to share it to brag about my talented sister. :) Either way, read. And enjoy. 

Grace/Effie Services 
October 6, 2013 20th Sunday after Pentecost 
Texts: Habakkuk 1.1-4; 2.1-4 and Luke 17.5-10 

Have you watched the news lately? Or read a newspaper? Or listened to the radio? Then you’ve seen it, heard what’s going on, read about it; all the chaos and brokenness, the destruction and violence in our world. There’s the chemical weapons and fighting in Syria, the ever present conflict in Israel and Palestine, the terrorist attack at the mall in Kenya, all over the world there are people who are starving, who are homeless, who are facing illness and disease with no access to medical care. Our government is partially shut down because our leaders can’t figure out a way to work together and reach a compromise and as a result of the shutdown there are people not getting paid, whose jobs are furloughed, the national parks are closed, the justice system is getting backlogged, among so many other consequences and the fragile recovery that our economy has made might not hold. And who can forget the natural disasters in recent weeks, wildfires, floods, tsunamis, and earthquakes. It’s no wonder that Habakkuk’s cry feels so familiar; that it resonates so deeply with us. “Habakkuk’s cry is our cry.” (Audrey L.S. West, NP)

And it’s not just the chaos and brokenness and destruction and violence on a global scale that makes Habakkuk’s cry so familiar. It’s the stuff going on in our own lives, in your lives that makes Habakkuk’s cry resonate with in us. Maybe money is tight this month and you’re struggling to make ends meet, maybe you or someone you love is facing an illness or waiting for test results or diagnosis. Maybe you or someone you love is facing addiction or mental health problems. Maybe there is strain or conflict or brokenness in a relationship with your spouse, a significant other, a child, another relative, a friend. Habakkuk’s cry is our cry; is your cry. (Paraphrase of Audrey L.S. West, NP)

Habakkuk’s cry is born of the destruction and violence he sees all around him. God’s people have all but lost their moral integrity and things have gotten out of control. So God sends in the Chaldeans to fight against God’s people in the hopes that the fight will help God’s people get their act together. The plan backfires, and things get worse instead of better. The peoples’ ways have become even more perverted, they act even more unjustly toward one another and there is destruction and violence everywhere. And the prophet Habakkuk has had enough; so he cries out to God. “O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not listen? Or cry to you “Violence!” and you will not save? Why do you make me see wrongdoing and look at trouble? Destruction and violence are before me; strife and contention arise. So the law becomes slack and justice never prevails. The wicked surround the righteous—therefore judgment comes forth perverted.” (1.2-4) 

Maybe, like Habakkuk, you have reached your limit,  you’ve had enough of the destruction and violence, the brokenness and chaos. Maybe, like Habakkuk, you cry out to God. How long are you going to let this go on God? Are you paying attention God, do you see what’s happening? How long do I have to put up with this? Why do I have to go through this God? Why does this person that I love have to go through this? When will you make things better? Where are you God? Are you even listening to me God? Do you even care God, because right now I’m not sure you do.

After Habakkuk files his complaint with God he settles in to watch and wait for God’s response. “I will stand at my watchpost, and station myself on the rampart; I will keep watch to see what he will say to me, and what he will answer concerning my complaint.” (2.1) When I read this verse I find myself picturing Habakkuk as a petulant or maybe defiant child who has expressed his discontent and then stands with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face to wait for a response, wait for what ever has caused his discontent to be changed.

Fortunately for Habakkuk he doesn’t have to wait long for God to respond. “Then the Lord answered me and said: Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so that a runner may read it. For there is still a vision for the appointed time; it speaks of the end and does not lie. If it seems to tarry, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay. Look at the proud! Their spirit is not right in them, but the righteous live by their faith.” (2.2-4) I can’t help but think that this wasn’t the response that Habakkuk was hoping for...at all. After all, this response doesn’t solve any of Habakkuk’s current issues, it’s not a solution to any of the problems of Habakkuk’s time or our time for that matter, but an instruction, to wait and be faithful.

“...in the midst of society-destroying violence God’s word that Habakkuk receives and is to broadcast is this: ‘Live by faith.’” (Gary E. Peluso-Verdend, NP) “God makes a critical promise to the prophet and the prophet’s people, waiting to hear God’s answer: There is still a vision for the appointed time. ... The people are told to wait for it, and in the meantime to be faithful.” (Karl Jacobson, WP) There is still a vision for the appointed time, God tells Habakkuk, things will get better but you’re going to have to wait because it is not yet the appointed time. And the appointed time might not come as quickly as you would like but keep waiting and be faithful. It will come.

So that is where Habakkuk lived and where you and I live, in the waiting. You live in the waiting, the in between, in the anticipation of the appointed time. Commentator Karl Jacobson describes it this way writing, “And this is the life of faith, is it not? To live in between the complaint and struggle on the one hand, and God’s right time on the other. This is where we live as people of faith, active and alive in this world, struggling with injustice against perverted judgments and the slackening of God’s Law, and waiting for God’s promised time, for the promise that God makes, that God has answered us, and will again; that God has saved us through Jesus Christ, and so we are saved.” (Karl Jacobson, WP)

But living faithfully in the waiting, while things are still hard, struggles still present, suffering and pain still felt is hard. We live in a society that thrives on instant gratification so the idea that we have to wait, patiently, faithfully, and trust that in God’s time things will get better doesn’t work well for us. It’s this instruction to wait and the other demands of being a believer, a follower of Jesus Christ that has the disciples asking Jesus to increase their faith in our gospel lesson. But Jesus reminds them that even faith the size of a mustard seed is enough, it’s more than enough. It’s hard to live faithfully in the waiting, but not impossible; because God has promised that the appointed time will come, and God has saved you through Jesus Christ, and God is present with you even in the midst of your deepest darkness and hardest struggles.

And when it gets too hard, when you want to give up take a look at how Habakkuk ends his book. Things haven’t improved, he is still waiting for God’s appointed time and instead of complaining again Habakkuk rejoices and praises God and continues to wait. “Though the fig tree does not blossom, and no fruit is on the vines; though the produce of the olive fails, and the fields yield no food; though the flock is cut off from the fold, and there is no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, and makes me tread upon the heights.” (3.17-19) Amen.