2019: Focus

2018 was... well, it was a rough year. 

I started the year tracking how each day went - great, good, okay, bad, awful - like I did in 2017. But after February, I stopped. After February, the rest of the year just sort of happened and I'm not really sure how. After February, I would have good or even great days, but they still felt like they were tied to a rock of numbness, pain, sadness. After February, I feel like I just sort of floated through, did what I needed to survive but nothing more. All of which is completely understandable. 

But after reading a recap of 2017, I decided I wanted 2019 to be better. I need it to be better. For me. For Jacob. And with that, I knew my 2019 Word of the Year needed to be FOCUS. 

This year, I'm going to focus on those things that I need in order to feel like I'm actually doing and living again. I'm going to focus on my health. I'm going to focus on being a better parent to Jacob. I'm going to focus on spending more time with God. I want to be more intentional with my time and focus. 

I realize that 2019 will still be hard in many ways that it was in 2018. There are still so many feelings and things to process. But I need to focus on that as well, work through it, instead of just letting it happen. 

So I'm going to focus on the things I can change in 2019. Focus on intentional. Focus on Jacob. Focus on me. Focus on God. Focus on being present. Focus on doing better. Focus on my goals. Focus on family and friends. Focus on love and happiness. Focus on what's most important to me. 

Focus.