Today I have a longing in my heart. I have wants that are pulling at my heart-strings. Life is anything but predictable. I've learned that the hard way. But today, that is what I want. I want predictability. I want a plan that I know is going to work the way I want it to. I want reassurance.
As I look at those few sentences I've just written, I see the words "I" and "want" a lot. Two words that God probably laughs at. Because what I want and what God has planned, are not always the same. I've also learned that the hard way.
The past five years have taught me so much, allowed me to grow, beaten me down and raised me higher than I could have ever imagined. It's been a lot in such a relatively short amount of time. But looking back, would I have done anything different? Would I have asked for different outcomes? I don't think so. There are certainly times that I don't wish to ever have to repeat, but I know that I've grown from those times. Learned from those times. But looking forward on my life, I want more.
Don't get me wrong, there is a lot about my life that I absolutely love. My son. My husband. My family. My friends.
Maybe I'm being selfish for wanting more. But I do. I want more. I want a house to call ours. I want a community that we feel welcomed and accepted in. I want a community where we have friends to visit with and events to go to. I want a group of people to have a card club with. I want to be a stay at home mom, even though I don't think it will ever be possible financially. And if I can't do that, I want a career. Not just a job. I want a career that I love. That I'm passionate about. I want to figure out what that is. I want to feel like I've accomplished something. Whatever it is.
I want to not have to worry about things. Even if it's just for a while. I want to live care-free. I want to live debt free from our student loans and medical bills. I want to have a time in my life where things are great for an extended period of time. I want a time that is "bump free". I want to know what the future holds. Not my whole future, just the foreseeable future.
I also want to be the best mom I can be for my son. I want to be able to give him all that he needs. I want to be able to provide for his future. I want to be the best wife I can be to my husband. I want to be able to support him in all that he does. I want to be the person that both my boys need more than anyone.
I want to have all the answers. I want things to fall into place. I want to know.
So that's it. That's all I want. That's not too much, is it? Is what I want what God wants for me? I don't know. I pray for answers. I pray for what I want. And I pray for God to show me His plans. His wants. And that's what I'm waiting for.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Our Six Month Check Up
The time has come for another doctor appointment check up! This is Jacob's 6 month check up. Six months! I have absolutely no idea where the last six months have gone! And can I please have them back? (Okay, maybe not...)
Jacob's doctor's appointment was held on one of the colder days. Normally, Austin and I both try to go to these appointments but because of the time, Austin couldn't leave school early. So it was just me. I decided that this needed to never happen again. Ha! Normally, Austin will drop Jacob and I off at the door so we don't have to walk. This would have been perfect on this cold day! The walk from the car was long and very cold! Plus, Jacob is a big baby. So him plus the weight of the car seat - uff-ta! It really didn't help matters that I was feeling sick and weak myself that day either. So I made a mental note to always schedule his appointments as late in the day as possible so Austin can come along!
Other than that though, the appointment went well. Jacob is measuring right on track! He now weighs 19lbs 12 oz, which puts him in the 85th percentile. His height is 27.25 inches (70%) and his head is 18.25 inches, which puts him back up to 100% there! :) The doctor asked if we were able to fit shirts over Jacob's head and I mentioned that I had just tried to put on a turtleneck that was 12 months but it wouldn't fit over his head. The doctor said he wasn't able to wear turtlenecks until he was a teenager and all of his shirts as a baby had cuts to fit over his head! So he told Jacob that he was probably going to be a doctor with that big head of his! :) Everything checked out great and we go the go ahead to start solids! He also had some more shots, but again, they weren't nearly as bad as that first time and I was able to handle it. :)
Jacob is growing like a weed, and I'm not talking about just his height or weight. The kid is getting smarter every day! He's a great sitter, when he wants to be anyway! Sometimes he likes to just fall over backwards or face first into the pillows around him. He still isn't crawling, he can scoot backwards a little bit though. But mostly, when you put him on his tummy, he'll just roll over. He still loves to stand though, so we're working on doing the motions of walking. Maybe he'll walk before crawling like his daddy did!
Jacob has started to whine if he wants attention or can't reach a toy he wants or he leans forward and rolls over and wants to be set back up. He does this little fake cry. So we're working on him figuring things out for himself. We let him "cry" for a bit to try and get what he wants himself, without our help. My first instinct is to automatically help him out - pick him up or get the toy he wants, but I know he needs to learn to do it himself!
He also has his two bottom front teeth - so cute! But so painful! Teething is not fun for the little man! And you have to be careful putting fingers in his mouth now because those suckers are sharp! Sophie the Giraffe has become one of Jacob's favorite toys right now. It's so easy for him to grab and he loves to chew on it. He'll also put one of the legs in his mouth, bite down and then pull it out. It really is a great toy for any teething baby!
Jacob also received a lot of new toys for Christmas! What a spoiled baby! :) And it's been fun watching him play with those new toys as he figures them out and what they do. He's great about being able to pick up certain toys, reaching out and grabbing new toys. He has one toy that is a dinosaur that has balls that bounce from the inside. Well Jacob has figured out since he can't quite reach inside to grab a ball, he'll grab the side of the toy and tip it sideways to get inside! Such a clever boy!
Like I mentioned above, we got the go ahead to start solids with Jacob. We've been pretty excited about this and Jacob has definitely been ready. He loves to watch us eat and will often try to reach out and grab our food! I also decided that I wanted to make all of our baby food. I liked the idea of knowing exactly what I was feeding Jacob. We have the Baby Bullet and Steamer and it worked great! Austin and I spent a couple hours over the weekend making different types of baby food and freezing it. It was actually a lot of fun and something we enjoyed being able to do together. We made carrots, pear, apple and sweet potato.
The first food we tried was carrots. Jacob made a lot of faces and it took some time getting use to the taste and texture, but after a couple of days, he is eating them like a pro. We also tried banana and this was much better for Jacob! After just two days, he is eating them up! I think we're going to try the sweet potato next!
Otherwise, I know we're only about a week in, but other than the freezing cold, 2014 is off to a really great start for our family!
Jacob's doctor's appointment was held on one of the colder days. Normally, Austin and I both try to go to these appointments but because of the time, Austin couldn't leave school early. So it was just me. I decided that this needed to never happen again. Ha! Normally, Austin will drop Jacob and I off at the door so we don't have to walk. This would have been perfect on this cold day! The walk from the car was long and very cold! Plus, Jacob is a big baby. So him plus the weight of the car seat - uff-ta! It really didn't help matters that I was feeling sick and weak myself that day either. So I made a mental note to always schedule his appointments as late in the day as possible so Austin can come along!
Other than that though, the appointment went well. Jacob is measuring right on track! He now weighs 19lbs 12 oz, which puts him in the 85th percentile. His height is 27.25 inches (70%) and his head is 18.25 inches, which puts him back up to 100% there! :) The doctor asked if we were able to fit shirts over Jacob's head and I mentioned that I had just tried to put on a turtleneck that was 12 months but it wouldn't fit over his head. The doctor said he wasn't able to wear turtlenecks until he was a teenager and all of his shirts as a baby had cuts to fit over his head! So he told Jacob that he was probably going to be a doctor with that big head of his! :) Everything checked out great and we go the go ahead to start solids! He also had some more shots, but again, they weren't nearly as bad as that first time and I was able to handle it. :)
Jacob is growing like a weed, and I'm not talking about just his height or weight. The kid is getting smarter every day! He's a great sitter, when he wants to be anyway! Sometimes he likes to just fall over backwards or face first into the pillows around him. He still isn't crawling, he can scoot backwards a little bit though. But mostly, when you put him on his tummy, he'll just roll over. He still loves to stand though, so we're working on doing the motions of walking. Maybe he'll walk before crawling like his daddy did!
Jacob has started to whine if he wants attention or can't reach a toy he wants or he leans forward and rolls over and wants to be set back up. He does this little fake cry. So we're working on him figuring things out for himself. We let him "cry" for a bit to try and get what he wants himself, without our help. My first instinct is to automatically help him out - pick him up or get the toy he wants, but I know he needs to learn to do it himself!
He also has his two bottom front teeth - so cute! But so painful! Teething is not fun for the little man! And you have to be careful putting fingers in his mouth now because those suckers are sharp! Sophie the Giraffe has become one of Jacob's favorite toys right now. It's so easy for him to grab and he loves to chew on it. He'll also put one of the legs in his mouth, bite down and then pull it out. It really is a great toy for any teething baby!
Jacob also received a lot of new toys for Christmas! What a spoiled baby! :) And it's been fun watching him play with those new toys as he figures them out and what they do. He's great about being able to pick up certain toys, reaching out and grabbing new toys. He has one toy that is a dinosaur that has balls that bounce from the inside. Well Jacob has figured out since he can't quite reach inside to grab a ball, he'll grab the side of the toy and tip it sideways to get inside! Such a clever boy!
Like I mentioned above, we got the go ahead to start solids with Jacob. We've been pretty excited about this and Jacob has definitely been ready. He loves to watch us eat and will often try to reach out and grab our food! I also decided that I wanted to make all of our baby food. I liked the idea of knowing exactly what I was feeding Jacob. We have the Baby Bullet and Steamer and it worked great! Austin and I spent a couple hours over the weekend making different types of baby food and freezing it. It was actually a lot of fun and something we enjoyed being able to do together. We made carrots, pear, apple and sweet potato.
The first food we tried was carrots. Jacob made a lot of faces and it took some time getting use to the taste and texture, but after a couple of days, he is eating them like a pro. We also tried banana and this was much better for Jacob! After just two days, he is eating them up! I think we're going to try the sweet potato next!
Otherwise, I know we're only about a week in, but other than the freezing cold, 2014 is off to a really great start for our family!
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