Jacob had a dentist appointment a couple months ago. He did about as well as could be expected for a four year old. His favorite part was being able to squirt water from the little water spray thing. But anyway, throughout the appointment, Jacob was being told how well he was doing, to keep it up buddy, you're doing great, etc. When his appointment was over, he went out in the hall and looked into the room next door, where someone else was having their teeth cleaned. Jacob immediately peered in and said, "You're doing good, buddy!" Sweetest and cutest thing ever!
***
The other day at Easter dinner, Jacob decided he was done eating. The problem was he only ate his ham, a bun and a bunch of pickles. And so I told him he needs to eat at least one bite of corn and one bite of potatoes if he wants dessert. Well, at first, he just told me he didn't want dessert. But then he came back. He asked where the potatoes were and I pointed to the cheesey potatoes on his plate. He immediately said "nope!" I put one little cubed hashbrown on his fork and asked him to try it. I just held the fork in front of his mouth because I could see him working up the courage to take a bite. He took the bite and all was good. After eating a bite of corn he exclaimed "I get dessert!!" He told me he wanted the "white, chocolate and pink ice cream, becuase I like the pink ice cream now Mommy" When we sat back down at the table, Jacob put a small piece of the strawberry ice cream on a spoon and held it up to my face. He said, "Try it Mommy, just one bite. See how YOU like it!" Oh my gosh, I just died laughing. And of course, tried the ice cream! :)
***
Jacob and I were recently at one of his therapy appointments. He was asked to play a game of Bingo. The therapist would call out an animal and told Jacob to see if he could find that animal on the bingo sheet. If he found it, he should cross it off with an "X". She called the first animal. Jacob looked down at his sheet for a few seconds and then drew one big X across the entire page and says "womp womp womp". It was hard to keep a straight face!!!
***
This isn't really one story... but Jacob has started to make up his own songs. He'll tell you he has a song for you and then sings and dances around, making it up as he goes! And I have to admit, they're pretty good songs! Always a good story! And, he's got a pretty good voice! :)
***
Jacob and I are helping "pet sit" Boomer the electronic dinosaur for my friend Brandon. One of the first nights, Jacob comes over to me and says, "Boomer just told me thank you for getting him away from the bad man. Brandon was the bad man." I think he's trying to convince me that Boomer needs to stay! Ha!
Showing posts with label four year old. Show all posts
Showing posts with label four year old. Show all posts
Saturday, June 16, 2018
Thursday, September 7, 2017
Our Current Struggles
Some days, the struggle is so much harder. I mean, it's never easy. But then there are those days where it kicks you in the ass.
It seems I've been having more of those really tough struggle days lately. I wish I knew why these are happening. But do we ever really know?
I hate "playing this card", but being a single mom is hard. I hate playing that card because I still question whether I can call myself a single mom when I live with my parents. But for the most part, taking care of Jacob falls solely on my shoulders.
Jacob has taken on some very difficult personality traits lately. Luckily, this is not 24/7 but it's enough to be draining. He will openly ignore me when I'm asking him not to do something naughty. He has been demanding of the things he wants rather than asking nicely for them as he was taught. And then he gets super upset when he doesn't get what he wants. He's been refusing to get dressed or pick up his toys, claiming he can't do it when he's perfectly capable.
And I get it. He's four. He's so little and is dealing with big emotions. I understand that, I do. But as a single parent, you take 100% of the blunt force of these emotions. And I can't quite explain how emotionally draining that is for you, as the parent.
But what's really been a struggle... bedtime. Jacob has become very persistent about wanting to "sleep with mommy in the tall bed". (aka, Mommy's bed) And I mean super persistent. He'll cry and scream and throw a fit. He won't stay in his own bed, continuing to make the trip to my room over and over. Climbing into my bed. I'll put him in the crib (yes, I still have the crib set up - no he hasn't tried climbing out of it), but then the bloody murder screams will start. Some nights I try to out last him. But the kid is stubborn. And he normally wins. One, I hate the fact that his screams keep my parents up (their bedroom right above his) and two, with school starting school, I know that trying to get him to go to bed earlier rather than later is pretty important.
And then the knife twist happens... through all of this, all the screaming, the tears, are the words he'll say to me.
He's only little once. There will come a day where he'll want nothing to do with me, much less want to cuddle in my bed. Soon he will be too big for all of that. Soon he'll think he won't need me anymore. Soon it might not be so easy to get the words "I love you" out of him.
And so after a full day of maneuvering big emotions from a little person, being asked a thousand questions, each a hundred times, being climbed on by someone who doesn't understand personal space and always needing to be present and paying attention to this little person, I am tired.
I am in desperate need of some 'me time'. I just want to catch up on social media. I want to read my book. I want to watch an adult-only show. I want to spend some time in the quiet, reflecting. I want to lay on the bed with no one kicking me or pushing me. I want to eat some ice cream without sharing.
But often, I lose this fight. I hear his words and they cut deep. I hear his desperate want to be near me. Sometimes I feel like I can hear some fear in his cries.
Because this is where else we're struggling. We're struggling with finding a consistent routine for Jacob to see his dad. Between end of summer vacations and crazy work schedules, those visits have been less than normal. And its when that happens, when it's been longer than "normal" since he's seen his dad, I can see a change a home.
Jacob acts like he has to constantly be in my sight. He always wants me paying attention. If I wander downstairs, I'll hear him yelling for me "Mommy where did you go?" If Nana picks him up from daycare and I'm not home when they get home, "Where is my mommy?" Even in the morning when I get out of bed to shower, "where are you going mommy?" It's enduring, but exhausting. I guess I can't tell you 100% that these reactions are a result of him seeing less of his dad, but it certainly feels that way.
Also, I have to say here, I'm not placing blame on anyone. We're still trying to figure out this whole co-parenting thing. I'm also not looking for advice. Yes, I should stop this habit before it gets out of control. Yes, I should just cuddle him while he's still little. I'll figure it out. Or I won't, and we'll just move on to the next thing. Sometimes I just need to write out my thoughts and feelings to help me process them. To make sense of them. Maybe this last paragraph should be my disclaimer on all blog posts. Haha!
It seems I've been having more of those really tough struggle days lately. I wish I knew why these are happening. But do we ever really know?
I hate "playing this card", but being a single mom is hard. I hate playing that card because I still question whether I can call myself a single mom when I live with my parents. But for the most part, taking care of Jacob falls solely on my shoulders.
Jacob has taken on some very difficult personality traits lately. Luckily, this is not 24/7 but it's enough to be draining. He will openly ignore me when I'm asking him not to do something naughty. He has been demanding of the things he wants rather than asking nicely for them as he was taught. And then he gets super upset when he doesn't get what he wants. He's been refusing to get dressed or pick up his toys, claiming he can't do it when he's perfectly capable.
And I get it. He's four. He's so little and is dealing with big emotions. I understand that, I do. But as a single parent, you take 100% of the blunt force of these emotions. And I can't quite explain how emotionally draining that is for you, as the parent.
But what's really been a struggle... bedtime. Jacob has become very persistent about wanting to "sleep with mommy in the tall bed". (aka, Mommy's bed) And I mean super persistent. He'll cry and scream and throw a fit. He won't stay in his own bed, continuing to make the trip to my room over and over. Climbing into my bed. I'll put him in the crib (yes, I still have the crib set up - no he hasn't tried climbing out of it), but then the bloody murder screams will start. Some nights I try to out last him. But the kid is stubborn. And he normally wins. One, I hate the fact that his screams keep my parents up (their bedroom right above his) and two, with school starting school, I know that trying to get him to go to bed earlier rather than later is pretty important.
And then the knife twist happens... through all of this, all the screaming, the tears, are the words he'll say to me.
"I want to cuddle with mommy because I love you. I love cuddling with mommy. I love you mommy. Cuddling with you is fun. Please, mommy. I want to cuddle."He knows how to pull at the heartstrings. And this is where I struggle. This is where I go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth again.
He's only little once. There will come a day where he'll want nothing to do with me, much less want to cuddle in my bed. Soon he will be too big for all of that. Soon he'll think he won't need me anymore. Soon it might not be so easy to get the words "I love you" out of him.
And so after a full day of maneuvering big emotions from a little person, being asked a thousand questions, each a hundred times, being climbed on by someone who doesn't understand personal space and always needing to be present and paying attention to this little person, I am tired.
I am in desperate need of some 'me time'. I just want to catch up on social media. I want to read my book. I want to watch an adult-only show. I want to spend some time in the quiet, reflecting. I want to lay on the bed with no one kicking me or pushing me. I want to eat some ice cream without sharing.
But often, I lose this fight. I hear his words and they cut deep. I hear his desperate want to be near me. Sometimes I feel like I can hear some fear in his cries.
Because this is where else we're struggling. We're struggling with finding a consistent routine for Jacob to see his dad. Between end of summer vacations and crazy work schedules, those visits have been less than normal. And its when that happens, when it's been longer than "normal" since he's seen his dad, I can see a change a home.
Jacob acts like he has to constantly be in my sight. He always wants me paying attention. If I wander downstairs, I'll hear him yelling for me "Mommy where did you go?" If Nana picks him up from daycare and I'm not home when they get home, "Where is my mommy?" Even in the morning when I get out of bed to shower, "where are you going mommy?" It's enduring, but exhausting. I guess I can't tell you 100% that these reactions are a result of him seeing less of his dad, but it certainly feels that way.
Also, I have to say here, I'm not placing blame on anyone. We're still trying to figure out this whole co-parenting thing. I'm also not looking for advice. Yes, I should stop this habit before it gets out of control. Yes, I should just cuddle him while he's still little. I'll figure it out. Or I won't, and we'll just move on to the next thing. Sometimes I just need to write out my thoughts and feelings to help me process them. To make sense of them. Maybe this last paragraph should be my disclaimer on all blog posts. Haha!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)