A Reflection on 2016

I've been awful at blogging this past year. Just awful. I really hope to start doing better again because I really enjoy going back and reading old blog posts when they show up in my Time-hop app. They can be so insightful and mostly just fun to reminisce. I'd like to say that I'll do better next year but I can make no such promises. If anything, I've learned that life is too unpredictable for that.

So. 2016. Quite frankly, it was a little bit of a ... well just not that great. I'm sure you've seen some posts or the memes... 

It was just a crazy year. For pretty much everyone.

For the Zaruba family personally... well it was another roller coaster of a year. 

2016 started out great. Megan and I went to Hawaii and it was an amazing trip. It was also the longest Megan and I have spent together just the two of us in a long time and I won't lie - we were reminded how different we can be sometimes! :) But overall the trip was the perfect getaway and relaxation I think we both needed. It's also become one of my favorite places I've ever visited. I would definitely go back. 

In the winter, Jacob enjoyed playing in the snow. Over the year we've done swimming lessons, ECFE classes and some other fun activities. It's so much fun to do these things with him as he gets older and can really understand and interact. We've visited a couple Children's museums, went to a Twins game, a pumpkin patch, Jacob vacationed up north with Nana and Papa, he spend a week down in Iowa with Nana and Papa Zaruba and cousin Evie. He started going to Sunday School in the Rainbow Room at church, we went swimming at the lake, we went to a tractor pull, the state fair and we even went to the zoo and saw the dinosaurs!! 

Jacob continues to grow up so much every day. I often tell him he needs to stay little but he replies, "No mommy, I get bigger!" :) He loves telling people that he's getting bigger. He loves talking and telling stories. He loves asking questions - about everything. :) He's learning so much more and exploring every day. He really is the light and joy of my life. 

Work is still going great. I hit my one year mark and finally felt like I had a better understanding of everything needed to do this job. New things continue to pop up but I'm loving every day. I still get that feeling of worth and purpose knowing I am helping make a difference for people in our community. In February, our Pedal Past Poverty fundraiser was a huge success, raising the most money we have ever raised so that was definitely a huge highlight! It was so rewarding to see all that hard work pay off. Overall, we've had a great year and continue to get more and more visibility within the community. We're still working hard to get a larger shelter and more affordable housing. I'm hoping to start expanding some of my roles here too and help with grant writing and getting involved with some of the political aspects and learning what we can do to gain more affordable housing. 

I joined the choir at Christ the King and have really enjoyed getting back into singing. It fills a hole I didn't know was there. And our choir director really pushes us hard! I learned very quickly how musically out of shape I've been! :) I thought about joining a local community choir this fall as well but decided to take a second job instead. Probably my craziest idea of the year. I worked part time during the months of September and October at a local costume company doing customer service. The month of October was particularly crazy and stressful but I survived and really enjoyed the extra money. 

In May we went up to Fargo to watch Dan graduate. It was so amazing and fun to see him in his element in the lab and graduating from such a big school! It was actually the only time I made it to Fargo while he was at NDSU! Jacob and I ended up going on a last minute vacation with my parents in early December and we spent a weekend visiting Meg. It's always so much fun to go visit her and attend her church services. This weekend was no different. Then we spent a majority of the week over at a little cottage on Lake Superior between Duluth and Two Harbors. It was a perfect getaway to just relax and reflect. I'd definitely go back. 

Austin has worked at a few jobs this year, trying to find a good fit for him. He also moved into a lower costing apartment which will be really helpful as he continues to try and get back on his feet. With his addiction and things with us... it's been tough. A lot of ups and downs. Going forward in 2017, things are probably going to look different for us. But we continue to be a family and support each other when we can.  

Overall, between all the politics, the attacks, the hate, the deaths and the personal struggles, 2016 has not been easy. It's been a lot to deal with. And I've struggled with the idea of "where is God's love in all this?" I'm continuing with my bible journaling because it's really gotten me closer to God's word again. I continue to tell myself that I can only control me and my actions. That I must show God's love to others, to not hate, to be welcoming, to be understanding, to be helpful, to love. And so that's what I'm trying to do. To everyone. My husband. The people I work with. Those with different opinions that mine. Those I don't even know. 

Here's hoping that 2017 will be a little bit easier for us all. 

Pastor Megan's Sermon

We recently went up North and visited my sister. While we were there, she gave an amazing sermon that I wanted to share with all of you. 



Pastor Megan Sermon from Liz Zaruba on Vimeo.

Happy Birthday Jacob!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Jacob!

I can't believe we've been blessed to have you in our lives for three whole years now! You are as  adorable, cute, funny, goofy, kind, silly, energetic and lovable as ever!

You still can't sit still for very long. You love running around. You love the outdoors. You love the farm. You love trains, trucks and tractors.  You especially love the combine (still)! You love to talk and ask questions. You're not shy and love making new friends. You love going to ECFE classes and swimming lessons. While you don't always enjoy learning new things at first, you tend to pick up on them fairly quickly and make them your new favorite thing!

You love the show DinoTrux on Netflix. You love dinosaurs in general. You love being a dinosaur and roaring at any and everyone. You love to play with toy animals. You love jumping. You still love swinging. But you also love going down the slides now.

Some of your favorite phrases: "Don't be silly" "Be happy Friends!" "How about......" "We can do that!"

You are smart, creative and imaginative. You are funny and goofy and silly. You are the best thing we've ever done. You are kind and polite. You are helpful. You are so darn lovable.

Here's to another fun-filled and healthy year! We love you!

Recent thoughts

I wanted to give up today. 

I wanted to give up on the world. There's just too much hate. Too much violence. Too much ignorance. Too much. I felt like the fight left. I didn't want to go on. What was the point?

And then I realized: that's exactly what HATE wants. It wants us to give up. It wants us to stop fighting the hate and give in. And that's exactly what we can't let happen. 

Today, maybe more than ever, we must stand up with LOVE. 

We must show that LOVE can win. LOVE will win. LOVE will conquer HATE. 


Early this morning, someone opened fire at a gay bar in Orlando, killing 50 people and injuring over 50 more. This is the worst mass shooting in America's history. It is not the first. And it is my fear that it will not be last. But it needs to be. 

We are better than this. We as Americans. We as Christians. We as Muslims. We as Atheists. We as Gay or Straight. We as Human Beings. We are better than this. Let's please be better than this. 

We can work together to end gun violence. Because that's the real issue here. Gun violence. Gun violence and hate. Enough is enough. This is not an issue anywhere else in the world and it should not be an issue in America. This is not the America I want my son to grow up in. We need to fight back. 

I will admit that when I learned the shooter reported to be an ISIS sympathizer, I shook my head. NOT because he was an ISIS sympathizer (which is an awful thing, yes), but because I knew this would give politicians (i.e. Republicans) an easy 'excuse' on why this violence happened. "This was a terrorist attack. We must project against Islamic extremists attacking our country." And while yes, those things are true, this attack is about so much more. 

This attack is about gun violence. How was a man who has mental health issues, was a previous domestic abuser and on the FBI terrorist watch list was able to easily and legally buy weapons? Why don't we have background checks that can catch these things and prevent these people from purchasing weapons? 

This attack is about specific gun violence. The shooter used an AR-15 assault rifle. This gun has been used in many previous mass shootings (Sandy Hook & San Bernadino). This was a weapon created for military use. This is a weapon that can kill hundreds within minutes. How is it possible that these weapons can be bought and sold every day? Why on earth do we need these in the hands of any civilian?

This attack was about hate. Do you think it was just a coincidence that the shooting happened at a gay bar? No. Why is it okay for us to spew hate about fellow human beings when it is in no way our place to judge them? Our ONLY JOB is to love. LOVE. And this hate is coming from those people in power. And until they stop allowing and speaking hate, I'm not sure what will happen. Love must be louder.

It has crossed my mind: what if this attack didn't happen in the exact circumstances it did? What if the shooter was an American white Christian male? Would we still be calling it a terrorist attack? Because it would still be a terrorist attack, just like the attack on Planned Parenthood, the attack in Charleston were terrorist attacks - even if we didn't use that terminology.  What if the shooter was a supporter of one of the many anit-LGBT politicians and carried out this attack in their name? How would politicians and the media respond then? And what if this attack wasn't at a gay bar but just a regular bar? Would the responses be different? I did notice that MANY leaders sent out their prayers but didn't even specify the LGBT community. Was that because they were the ones that were busy spewing the hate against these same people? I'm not going to lie, that pisses me off. 


So yes, today I wanted to give up. But we can't let that happen. We cannot let hate win. And so I decided that I'm not going to give up. I'm going to fight harder. Enough is enough. I officially have zero patience for any hate. 

So what can I do? Refuse to put up with it. I'm going to teach my son about love. Raise him to respect all humans and all lives. I'm going to teach him to love first. I'm going to make sure he knows I have zero tolerance for hate, and teach him to do the same. 

I'm not going to let hate into my life. I'm going to fight it with love. I'm going to show love in everything I do and to everyone I encounter daily. I will not allow hate. 

I will also pray and ask those around me to do the same. 

I'm not going to stay silent on gun violence any longer. Sure, you've probably seen my Facebook posts or retweets on Twitter. But that is no longer enough. I will be signing my name to every petition. I will be calling and writing my representatives. I will be demanding answers to why we continue to let this happen. I will be fighting in any way I can. Enough is enough. 

We don't have to live this way. So let's not. Let's make LOVE louder than hate. LOVE can win. LOVE will win. LOVE is stronger. 

Will you join me?